Siyizidalwa zomphakathi. Futhi lokhu kusho ukuthi kufanele siphathe i-ballast eningi. Ubudlelwano babantu phakathi kwabantu buqukethe indida: lapho sithembela kakhulu amanethiwekhi ethu osekelo, kulapho ingcindezi angayithola khona ukuze asenze sijwayelane nezindinganiso zawo zenhlalo.
Umndeni, abangani, kanye nendawo yokusebenzela kuyizikhungo ezingaba yizingcindezi ezingase zisiqhubele ekubeni sivumelane nemikhuba, imikhuba nezindlela zokwenza izinto esingazizwa kahle ngazo. Imizwa engajabulisi, njengokwesaba ukukhishwa inyumbazane noma imizwa yokuhlazeka kanye nomuzwa wecala ngokuba nemibono eyahlukene, iyona ebangela lokhu kuvumelana.
Yebo, ukuhambisana nakho kungasinika izinzuzo ezithile, njengokwandisa ezethu imibuthano yokwethembana, okusinika umuzwa okhohlisayo wokulondeka. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kuyasivimbela ekubeni senze izinqumo eziningi ngenxa yokuthi ngokuvamile zenziwa abanye ngenxa yethu, ngaleyo ndlela kususe umthwalo wemfanelo. Kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukuzivumelanisa nabanye ekugcineni kuyoqeda ubuqiniso bethu futhi kusivimbele ukuba siphile ukuphila okujabulisayo.
Ukuba neqiniso kuwena kudinga isibindi esikhulu, kodwa kunikeza ukwaneliseka kokulawula impilo yakho nokuyisa lapho ofisa ukuya ngakhona.
Imiphumela emi-5 elimaza kakhulu yokuvumelana komphakathi empilweni yakho
Sonke, ngesinye isikhathi, siye sawela ogibeni lokuvumelana komphakathi. Sonke siye sayizwa ingcindezi yontanga esikhathini esithile ezimpilweni zethu futhi abaningi bethu banqume ukuvuma.
Ukuvumelana komphakathi kwenzeka lapho sishintsha ukuziphatha kwethu ngenxa yengcindezi yangaphandle, engase ivele kubangani, umndeni noma umphakathi. Ukuvumelana komphakathi akusho ushintsho lwangempela lwangaphakathi, kodwa ukulungiswa kokuziphatha ukuze kuhambisane nezidingo zangaphandle. Asikho isisusa sangaphakathi, kodwa isifiso sokungena.
Yiqiniso, lapho sivumela abanye, lokho kwamukela okukha phezulu kungenza ukuphila kwethu kube lula ngokugwema izingxabano nokungavumelani. Kodwa-ke, inkinga yokuvumelana komphakathi ukuthi kusivimbela ukuba siphile ngokweqiniso, ekubeni neqiniso kithina, into edingekayo ngempela ukuze sithole indlela yethu yokuphila. Izindleko zokuvumelana zishiya ubuqiniso bethu.
Ukuhlala ethunzini labanye, ukuhambisana nendlela yabo yokubona umhlaba, akuphili. Lapho sizama ukufana nabanye, silahlekelwa umbono wokuthi singobani.
1. Ukucindezeleka okukhulu. Uma silandela ngokuphuphutheka okulindelwe umphakathi, singagcina silahlekelwe injongo yokuphila kwethu. I-Conformism isinqamula kithi ngokwethu, emizwelweni yethu, emibonweni yethu nasezifisweni, ukuze ngokuhamba kwesikhathi sikwazi ukuthuthukisa ukucindezeleka, umphumela walokhu kungakwazi ukuqonda lokho esikufunayo nesikudingayo.
2. Ukulahlekelwa ubumina. Ukuvumelana komphakathi kungase kududuze njengoba kudala umuzwa wokulondeka njengolwandle oluzolile, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi sizothola imingcele yokuvumelana njalo nabanye. Uma sinamathela isikhathi eside kwabanye futhi siphika ubuntu bethu, kulapho siphoqeleka nakakhulu ukuthi sihlukane nalokho esiyikho. Lokhu kuholela emuzweni wokuzihlukanisa kanye nokungabi namuntu. Singaba nemibono ecacile kuphela lapho sibheka ngaphakathi kwethu ukunaka lokho esikudingayo nesikufunayo.
3. Kuvimbela ukukhula komuntu siqu. Ukuvumela izifiso zabanye kube yisilingo ngoba kusenza singazithatheli izinqumo, kodwa ukwamukela izintambo kuzokwenza ukuthi singakhuli. Ukuvumelana komphakathi kusivimbela ekutholeni izwi lethu. Kufana nokuthi sibeka izimpilo zethu kancane ngoba asazi izinqumo esizenzayo, kodwa saneliswe yisimo esikhona.
4. Ukuncika kwabanye. Ukuvumelana, empeleni, ukuphila ngokwalokho abanye abasihlelele kona. Kuhlala kukhona ositshelayo ukuthi yini okufanele siyenze, siyicabange noma sizizwe, endabeni yokuthobelana ngokomzwelo. Uma singajwayele ukwenza izinqumo, sincika kulabo abasizungezile, sinciphisa ukuzimela kwethu, ukuzimela kanye nenkululeko yethu.
5. Ukungahambisani okubalulekile. Kunzima ukungaguquguquki lapho kufanele sihlale sijwayelana nalokho okufunwa abanye. Ukuvumelana komphakathi kusivimbela ekuthuthukiseni iphrojekthi yethu yempilo futhi siyilandele. Eqinisweni, kusenza sihlale sigijimisa imibono, izinhlelo, nemigomo yabanye, okwenezela ukubaluleka okuncane noma ukwaneliseka ekuphileni kwethu. Kunalokho, ukuzinza kwangempela kuvela lapho silawula isiphetho sethu, sibeka imigomo yethu, futhi siklama isu lokuyifinyelela.
Ukuvumelana kusho ukuhoxa emibonweni yabanye, okushiya isikhala esincane kakhulu sokuziveza nenkululeko yomuntu siqu. Ukunquma ukufuna imvume nokuqinisekiswa kwabanye kusivimbela ekubeni neqiniso kithina. Ukuvumelana komphakathi kushiya isikhala esincane sokucabanga ngokuzimela futhi kunciphisa inqubo yokuthatha izinqumo. Uma simatasa kakhulu sicabangela ukuthi abanye abantu bafunani, asikunaki kakhulu esikufunayo.
Ngenxa yalesi sizathu, ukuba qotho kithi ngokwethu kusho ukumelana negagasi nokuzimisela ukubhekana nezingxabano. Ukuze silawule izimpilo zethu kufanele sithole indlela yokuziveza futhi siphishekele esikudingayo nesikufunayo. Injabulo yangempela ivela ekuxhumaneni nengaphakathi lethu. Kudingeka sizethembe kakhulu futhi siqale ukuzilalela thina, esikhundleni sokuncika ekuqinisekiseni kwangaphandle. Phishekela izinkanuko zethu, uthulile amaphupho ethu futhi uthole isibindi sokuphishekela imigomo yethu.
umthombo:
Stallen, M. & Sanfey, AG (2015) I-neuroscience of social conformity: imithelela ocwaningweni oluyisisekelo nolusetshenzisiwe. Ngaphambili. I-Neurosci.; 9:10.3389.
Umnyango Ukuvumelana komphakathi, izindleko zokuhambisana nabanye yashicilelwa okokuqala ngo Ikhona lePsychology.
