Ngokwesiko bekukholelwa ukuthi umuzwa wokuba yize ubejwayelekile kulabo abanenkinga yokuphazamiseka kwengqondo njengokuthi ukucindezeleka. Kepha iqiniso ukuthi yisimo sengqondo sonke esingaba naso futhi esingaba yisifo esingalapheki uma singasinaki.
Ithimba lezazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ezivela ku- I-University College waseLondon uthathe isinqumo sokuzama umuzwa wokungabi nalutho futhi uthole ukuthi kwande kakhulu kunokuhlonishwa komphakathi. Mhlawumbe ngenxa yokwesaba ukucwaswa noma ukujwayezwa ukukhuluma ngezimo zethu ezingokomzwelo, iqiniso ukuthi abantu abaningi bathwala lo muzwa wokulahlwa nesizungu bebodwa.
Ngakho-ke, noma ngubani angaba nemizwa yokungabi nalutho, kungakhathalekile umlando wabo wezempilo yengqondo. Kungokuhlangenwe nakho okuyinkimbinkimbi okunezilinganiso zayo ezinwebela kuzo zonke izindawo zokuphila futhi ezingaba yingozi. Kungakho kubalulekile ukuthi wazi ukuthi ungakubona kanjani ukuze ubhekane nakho ngesikhathi.
"Isitsha esingenamkhawulo"
Lezi zingcweti zokusebenza kwengqondo zikhulume nabantu abangaphezu kuka-400 abaneminyaka ephakathi kwengu-18 nengama-80 ababezizwa bengenalutho ngesikhathi esithile ezimpilweni zabo, abanye ngezikhathi ezithile kanti abanye ngaso sonke isikhathi. Laba bantu bagcwalise uhlu lwemibuzo oluphenya leyo mizwa yokungabi nalutho. Ngakho-ke wuphenyo lokuphayona olunikeza indlela yomuntu wokuqala wokuzizwa engelutho.
Abanye babahlanganyeli bachaze lo muzwa wokuba yize njengoba "Uhlobo lwevazi engenamkhawulo engasoze yagcwaliswa" o "Umuzwa wokunye nokuhlukana nomphakathi" che "Incela yonke impilo namandla akho".
Eqinisweni, esinye sezici ezihlukile zomuzwa wokuba yize nesizungu yilokho kanye umuzwa wokungabi nalutho kwangaphakathi. Lowo muzwa wokungabi nalutho uvela, ikakhulukazi, kusukai-anedonia. Ngamanye amagama, abantu abazizwa bengenalutho bahlangabezana nohlobo lwe- "anesthesia engokomzwelo" ebavimbela ekutheni bazizwe bephelelwe yithemba, kepha futhi nenjabulo. Uma bebheka ngaphakathi, kuba sengathi abatholi lutho.
Le mizwa engokwengqondo ivame ukuhambisana nemizwa engathandeki yomzimba. Isibonelo, abantu bachaze ubuhlungu, ifindo, umuzwa wokungabi nalutho emzimbeni futhi bavame ukukhombisa: "Ngizizwa ngingenalutho esifubeni sami". Le mibono ikhombisa ukuthi umuzwa wokungabi nalutho unomthelela emzimbeni.
"Ngizizwa ngingabonakali"
Ukungabi nalutho kuvame ukubonwa maqondana nobudlelwano bomuntu nabanye. Okokuqala, ababambiqhaza babona sengathi abanalutho abangalunikeza abanye. Bazizwe bengakwazi ukuba nomthelela omuhle ezimpilweni zabo nokwenza igalelo elibalulekile ebudlelwaneni babo phakathi kwabantu nasempilweni yomphakathi. Ngalesi sizathu, bazichaze njengo- "uhlupho" o "Umthwalo kwabanye".
Okwesibili, babhekana nokuntuleka kokuqashelwa, okukhombisa ukuthi umuzwa wokungabi nalutho akuyona into ekhula ngaphakathi ngaphakathi, kepha futhi ingabhebhezelwa yizimo, ikakhulukazi lapho singena ezindaweni ezikhubaza ngokomzwelo.
Umuntu oyedwa uthe: "Ngizizwa ngingabonakali kulabo abaseduze kwami". Labo abazizwa bengelutho bathi abazwakalanga futhi abanakwa ngabanye, kubandakanya nabantu ababaluleke kakhulu kubo. Bazizwa njengomunye "Umuntu olahlekile", yize uzungezwe ngabantu.
Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi lokhu kunqanyulwa nabanye bekuhlotshaniswa nomuzwa wokuthi uphikiswa futhi uyasebenziseka. Abantu abaningi babike ukuthi bayizisulu zeumphumela we-doormat noma ukuzwa ithuluzi lomunye umuntu, ikakhulukazi labo ababeyingxenye yabo indingilizi yethemba. Bazizwa futhi bebodwa, benqanyuliwe, behlukanisiwe futhi bekude ngokomzwelo nalabo ababazungezile.
"Konke engikwenzayo akusizi ngalutho"
Esinye sezifundazwe esihambisana nomuzwa wokungabi nalutho umuzwa wokuthi yonke into ayinayo injongo nenjongo empilweni. Iningi labahlanganyeli livumile ukuthi alinazo "Akukho lutho lwenani okufanele uzibophezele kulo", ukungakwazi ukubamba iqhaza kunoma yimuphi umsebenzi obalulekile futhi "Awufuni lutho". Lokhu kusho ukuthi babengenasiqondiso empilweni.
Omunye wabantu okukhulunywe nabo wachaza: “Uzwa sengathi konke okwenzayo akusizi ngalutho futhi uyaqhubeka nokunyakaza. Uzama nje ukugcwalisa isikhathi kuze kube sekufeni. Kwesinye isikhathi uba nobumnandi noma kwenzeke okuthile okuhle okungakuphazamisa isikhashana, kepha ekugcineni kube khona ubuze bangaphakathi obungapheli. Kunjengokungathi usobala futhi noma yini enhle efana nothando noma injabulo idlula kuwe ngaphandle kokuzihlanganisa, bese kuba sengathi abakaze babe lapho ”.
Omunye umuntu wathi: "Ngangizizwa sengathi angiyena owomhlaba, angizwanga lutho futhi akukho engangikwenza okunomthelela emicimbini noma kwabanye abantu, ngangikhona 'kodwa ngangingaphili".
Abantu abazizwa bengenalutho ababi nanjongo kulokho abakwenzayo noma empilweni uqobo. Abaningi bayezwa phila ku-autopilot njalo kufakwa. Benza izinto ezidingekayo ekusindeni noma ekuhlonipheni imihlangano yomphakathi, ngaphandle kokubandakanyeka okuqondayo kepha ngendlela eyimpoqo. Kunjengokungathi umhlaba ubashiyile ngemuva, awukwazi ukumunca lobo bungqabavu namandla.
Le mizwa ingaba yingozi. Ngempela, lezi zingqondo zokusebenza kwengqondo zikhombe ukuxhumana phakathi kwemizwa ephindaphindwayo yokungabi nalutho nemibono yokuzibulala noma isimilo. Abantu ababike ukuthi njalo bazizwa bengenalutho bake bacabanga ngokuzibulala noma bazama nokuzibulala.
Ugibe olusinikeza umuzwa wokuba yize
Umuzwa wokungabi nalutho ubangelwa ukungabikho kwemizwa nenjongo empilweni. Kungumuzwa okhona, umumo oyisisekelo owakha indlela i-ego ehlobana ngayo nomhlaba wokusebenzelana nobuntu. Lowo muzwa uyindlela "yokuba semhlabeni".
Ngenxa yalokho, i-ego ibonwa njengenciphile, ingenalutho futhi ingenamsebenzi, iqhutshwa kuphela yi-inertia. Lokhu kudala isicupho esingaba yingozi njengoba, uma kungenasikhuthazo, umuzwa wokuba yize usiphuca ulwazi lokucwaninga nokuzibophezela. Esikhundleni salokho, umuntu ongenalutho usivalela ngohlobo oluthile lwe-bubble yangaphakathi noma ijele elisibambayo futhi lisivimbele ekuxhumaneni nabanye noma ekujabuleleni umhlaba nokuphila.
Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi uhhafu wabahlanganyeli ocwaningweni ubengakaze abe nokuphazamiseka kwengqondo, okukhombisa ukuthi umuzwa wokungabi nalutho awutholakali kulabo abanenkinga yokudangala noma ukuphazamiseka kobuntu emingceleni, kepha ungatholwa yinoma ngubani. Yingakho kudingeka ukuthi siqaphele izimpawu zayo.
umthombo:
UHerron, SJ & Sani, F. (2021) Ukuqonda isethulo esijwayelekile sokungabi nalutho: isifundo se-live-experience. Ijenali Yezempilo Yengqondo; I-10.1080.
Umnyango Umuzwa wokungenalutho utshelwe kumuntu wokuqala yilabo abebehlala kuwo yashicilelwa okokuqala ngo Ikhona lePsychology.
