Abazali abangaphezu komntwana omnye bayazi ukuba kunzima kangakanani ukulawula umona phakathi kwabantakwabo.
Ukuba uyavumelana nenye, wenza enye into engalunganga kwaye ngokuchaseneyo. Kwaye emva koko, mhlawumbi uyavumelana nenye, kodwa uhlala uziva ngaphakathi kuwe ukuba awunazo izinto ezandleni ukuba unokuthi umbono wakho womgwebo uyinyani "echanekileyo".
Ke masithethe ngomona phakathi kwabantakwethu noodade: kancinci ngokusekwe kwinto endiyifundileyo, kancinci ngokusekwe kumava am njengomzali.
1. Ukhetho lukhona
Kancinci ' baphazamise njengombono wokuvuleka, nangona kunjalo, masibonise kancinane kunye kwesi sivakalisi. Andikholelwa ukuba umzali angenza ibango lokuba AKAKHO wabanokhetho okanye ukungamthandi umntwana omnye okanye omnye kubomi bakhe.. Yinxalenye yendalo yezinto ukuba zibe ne-affinities ezithile ezifanelekileyo ngakumbi kunezinye. Ewe: banokuhlala ixesha elincinci, banokutshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha, nantoni na oyifunayo.
Inqaku kwimbono yam kukuba qaphela oku kukhetha -kwexeshana- kungasinceda siphucule ubudlelwane nabantwana bethu. Umzekelo, kukho ixesha apho ndandimamele, xa ndandikunye nomnye wabantwana bam, ndandiba nomsindo kwaye ndicaphuke. Ukumamela kunye nokuzibuza malunga nezi mvakalelo kwandenza ndabona ukuba andiziva ngathi ndiqwalaselwe nguye (ngokungafaniyo nomama). Ke ndiyithathile ibhola kwaye ndiqala kule mvakalelo ndizamile ukuyibuyisa, ukuphucula ubudlelwane bam naye: ndazibuza "Ndingabuqinisa njani ubudlelwane ukuze ndingaziva "ndilahliwe" kodwa naye endixabisa ngakumbi? ".
Kubalulekile ukuba sibeke iliso "imood"Bhekisa ebantwaneni kwaye ubaqonde: Eli linyathelo lokuqala lokuphucula usuku ngosuku ubudlelwane kunye nabo.
2. Icala elihle lomona
UWinnicott uthe ukoyisa umona ebuntwaneni kungasinceda ukuba sibe nakho njengabantu abadala. Eli licala eliqaqambileyo lomona: ukulibona njengendawo yokuzivocavoca abantwana bethu ukuya kuyo ukuba ngaphakathi kwezinye iimvakalelo - nangona zingemnandanga - kunokusenza somelele ngakumbi kwaye siphelele. Ukuba asiyigqithisi ebuntwaneni, sizibeka emngciphekweni wokuba nomsindo nangakumbi njengabantu abadala.
Kukho utyekelo ngokubanzi kuluntu lwethu ukubaleka kwiimvakalelo ezinzima: kulungile ukuyichasa le "fashoni", kwasebuncinaneni. Ngapha koko, ubuncinci umona phakathi kwabantakwenu awunakuphepheka, akunamsebenzi ukucinga ukuba unokwenza ngendlela enokuthi uyenze inyamalale ngokupheleleyo. Kwelinye icala, ndicinga ukuba kuluncedo ukucinga ngokwembono yokuba umona ukhona, masiqonde ukuba kanjani Jongana nayo e phila nayo.
3. Indima yomzali
Inqaku lesithathu linxulumene nendima ekufuneka umzali abe nayo ngaphakathi kwezi zinto zintsha. Umxholo obanzi, olapha ukulungiselela ukuba ndichukumise izinto ezi-3.
- Okokuqala, umzali kufuneka angabi yinto engako yokuqinisekisa ubulungisa, kodwa a Isiqinisekiso sokwahluka abanye abantwana. Makhe ndichaze: ukuba sinamacandi ama-4 kunye nabantwana aba-2, ayiyonto yenza ulwabiwo olufanelekileyo lwezinto (iilekese ezi-2 nganye), kodwa Nika umntwana ngamnye into ayifunayo. Ngamanye amagama, akufuneki baphathwe "njengabalinganayo", kodwa ngenxa yokwahluka kwabo. Mhlawumbi enye iyazithanda iilekese, kodwa enye ifuna into eyahlukileyo: masiqonde kubodwa, siyigcine kwaye siyiphucule
- Umzali kufuneka "ukubona"abantwana. Esi sesona sicelo sabo siqhelekileyo: “Jonga owona mfanekiso mhle ndiwenzileyo. Ndijonge ukuntywila? Jonga bendinxibe njani? ”. Abantwana kufuneka babonwe, nantsi indlela ogcwalisa ngayo indawo yokugcina iimvakalelo. Masijonge kubo kwaye sibanike uthando: Amanyathelo amabini esiqinisekileyo ukuba ngekhe amenzakalise.
- Kananjalo abazali kufuneka jonga iingxabano phakathi kwabo (indoda nomfazi) kwaye bazibuze malunga nefuthe abanalo ebantwaneni. Rhoqo, rhoqo kakhulu, ndibabona abantwana bevalelekile kwimilo phakathi kwabantu abadala: enye yayiyingalo katata kunye nomama, kwaye babulalana ukuze baqhubeke neemfazwe ezazingezozabo.
Bazali abathandekayo: ninendima ebabazekayo kunye nefuthe kwabancinci: zilindeni.
Bhalisela ikhosi yevidiyo yam yokukhula mahala apha: http://bit.ly/Crescita
L'articolo Indlela yokujongana nomona wakowenu: Iingcebiso ezi-3 zabazali kubonakala ngathi yeyokuqala Isayikholojisti yaseMilan.
