Kudziimba mlandu ndi chimodzi mwazomvetsa chisoni kwambiri zomwe tikhoza kukhala nazo. Ikadzuka, imagwiritsitsa chikumbumtima ngati patina chomwe ndi chovuta kuchotsa. Monga hydra yamutu chikwi, nthawi zambiri imabwerera ngakhale titawona kuti yapita.
Choyipa chachikulu ndichakuti titha kudzimva kuti ndife olakwa pachilichonse, pazomwe tachita kapena sitinachite, pazomwe timaganiza kapena pazomwe timamva, pamawu omwe tanena kapena pazomwe takhala chete ..
M'malo mwake, sizodabwitsa kuti kudziimba mlandu kumatidya chifukwa ndife ana a "chikhalidwe chalakwa" chomwe chakoka tchimo loyambirira kwazaka zambiri. Ergo, tonsefe timakhulupirira kuti tiyenera kukhululukira cholakwika, ngakhale sitikudziwa kuti ndi chiyani.
Zowonadi, kafukufuku wamaphunziro apeza kuti Asamoa atha kutengeka ndimayesero kuposa aku America, komanso samamvanso chisoni kapena kudziimba mlandu atalakwa.
Chodabwitsa ndichakuti chikhalidwe chakumadzulo chimabzala mbewu za liwongo adakali aang'ono kwambiri. Kafukufuku wina wapeza kuti azaka zaku America 2 ndi 3 azaka zam'mbuyomu adayamba kukhala ndi chizolowezi chofuna kutero kumva liwongo atalakwira polemekeza ana aku Taiwan.
Kudziona kuti ndi wolakwa sikofanana ndi kukhala wolakwa
Kudziimba mlandu kumachitika m'njira zambiri, pafupifupi momwe kulili anthu ndi zochitika. Nthawi zambiri, titha kukhala ndi mitundu isanu yayikulu yazolakwa:
1. "Wathanzi" malingaliro olakwa
Izi ndi "zovuta zamabuku", zomwe timamva tikachita cholakwika. Zitha kukhala chifukwa chakuvulala komwe tidapangitsa kwa munthu wina, mwadala kapena mosadziwa, kapena kuphwanya malamulo athu. Mwachitsanzo, tingamadzione ngati olakwa chifukwa chonama kapena kunyoza wina. Timakhalanso ndi liwongo tikamayambiranso zizolowezi zoyipa zakale zomwe timaganiza kuti zidakwiriridwapo kale, monga kusuta kapena kumwa.
Kudziona ngati wolakwa kumeneku sikoyipa payokha - kapenanso kuteroko sikulakwa kwenikweni. Ngati tachita cholakwika, malingaliro amlandu amatichenjeza. Imathandizira kudzimva kuti tili ndi udindo pazomwe zawonongeka ndikupanga kudzimvera chisoni kapena kudzimvera chisoni, mkhalidwe wamaganizidwe womwe umatilimbikitsa kuyesa kukonza zomwe talakwitsa. Pazinthu izi chinthu chofunikira kwambiri sikuti tizidziimba mlandu mopitirira muyeso ndikukhala ndi malingaliro oyenera kubwezera zolakwa zathu. Titha kupepesa kwa munthuyo kapena kuganiza zomwe tingachite kuti tipewe kuchita izi. Mlandu watsekedwa. Mfundo.
2. Kudziimba mlandu chifukwa chakusasamala
Ndiwo mtundu wamlandu womwe timamva ngati sitichita zomwe tiyenera kukhala kapena zomwe timafuna kuchita. Ndikumva kwathu kulakwa pamene, mwachitsanzo, tidziwa kuti ntchito ikutiyitana, koma timasankha kuchita chinthu china chosangalatsa kapena chokhutiritsa. Zimachitika tikachedwetsa zisankho zofunika ndipo zinthu zimatha molakwika. M'malo mwake, kudziimba mlandu kotere kumachitika chifukwa chosachita zinthu zina, pamene sitidziletsa ndikumangotsatira zofuna zathu zoyambirira.
Kudziimba mlandu kotereku ndikovuta kusamalira chifukwa, kunena zowona, sitinachite cholakwika chilichonse, vuto ndikuti timadzilanga tokha pazomwe sitinachite. Timadzilanga tokha chifukwa cha ulesi kapena mphwayi. Kapenanso mwina chifukwa choti sitinathe kudziwiratu zotsatirapo za kunyalanyaza kwathu. Kuti tithetse kudzimva kotereku, tiyenera kuzindikira malingaliro osasangalatsa awa ndikuvomereza, ngakhale atatipweteka poyamba. M'kupita kwa nthawi,kuvomereza kwakukulu zidzakhala zomasula.
3. Kulakwitsa kolingalira
Kudziimba mlandu kumatikokera kumtengo woterera, womwe nthawi zambiri umachokera malingaliro opanda nzeru. Chifukwa chake, ngati tili otsimikiza kuti tachita kanthu kena kolakwika, tidzadzimva ngati kuti tachita. Anthu ena, mwachitsanzo, amatha kudziimba mlandu chifukwa chodzipatula kwa anzawo, poganiza kuti adalakwitsa pomwe sanachite. Anthu amadziimbanso mlandu chifukwa cha ngozi zomwe okondedwa awo akumana nazo, ngakhale atakhala kuti sangathe kuyembekezera zochitikazo ndikupanga china chake chowateteza.
Zikatero, tisanayambe kudzinena tokha kuti talakwitsa ndikukhala padoko, tiyenera kupereka malingaliro athu ku "mayeso enieni". Koposa zonse, tiyenera kuwonetsetsa kuti chochitikacho chidachitikadi ndipo sichikupezeka m'malingaliro athu okha kapena ndi chotulukapo cha kupotoza kwa kukumbukira kwathu. Ngati zomwe tikudziimba tokha chifukwa cha zomwe zidachitikazo, gawo lachiwiri ndikulongosola zaudindo wathu. Tikukokomeza mphamvu zathu kusintha kusintha kwa zochitika.
4. Vuto la malire
Nthawi zina timaganiza kuti ndife a Superman. Timakonda kukhulupirira kuti titha kuchitira ena zambiri. Athandizeni ndi kuwathandiza kwambiri. Perekani zambiri. Timakhulupiriranso kuti titha kuthana ndi chilichonse. Ndicho chifukwa chake timakhala ndi maudindo ambiri. Zowonjezera zina. Ntchito zina. Nthawi ina timazindikira kuti tili ndi malire. Pamenepo tikhoza kumva kukhala olakwa. Timadzimva olakwa chifukwa chosachita nawo, osathandiza mokwanira, osagwiritsa ntchito nthawi ndi zinthu zambiri ...
Kudziimba mlandu kotere nthawi zambiri kumafanana matenda akumvera chisoni ndi kwa matenda otopa. Mwachizoloŵezi, zimachokera ku malingaliro opotoka ndi chikhulupiriro chakuti palibe chomwe timachita chokwanira. Izi zimatitsogolera kudzipereka nthawi zonse ndikudzikakamiza kupitirira malire athu mpaka titadzimva otopa. Kuti athane ndi kudzimva kotereku tiyenera kutenga malire athu monga anthu ndikumvetsetsa kuti nsembe iliyonse ili ndi malire ake. Kusamalira ena kapena kuchita bwino ntchito yathu, tiyenera kudzisamalira tokha.
5. Vuto la wopulumuka
Kudziona ngati wolakwa kumeneku ndikovuta kwambiri komanso nkovuta kuchotsa. Ndi zomwe anthu omwe apulumuka abale ndi abwenzi pangozi kapena pakagwa tsoka. Komabe, imatha kupezedwanso ndi omwe ali ndi thanzi labwino kuposa anzawo kapena abale awo kapena ndi omwe amakhala moyo wabwino kapena wabwino. Kulakwa kwa opulumuka kumatha kuzunzanso anthu omwe amakhulupirira kuti ali ndi mwayi wosayenerera pamoyo motsutsana ndi omwe sanathe kusangalala nawo.
Nthawi zambiri, kudziimba mlandu kotere kumapangitsa kuti anthu azichita zovulaza, motero ndikofunikira kukumbukira kuti palibe "chilango" chomwe timadzipangira tokha chomwe chingasinthe zakale. M'malo mwake, tikufunika kupeza mphamvu ndikulimbikitsidwa mwa anthu ofunikira omwe mwina sanakhale nawo mwayi wofanana ndi ife, koma omwe mwina angafune kuti tiwapindule nawo. Kapena ganizirani za anthu omwe salinso nafe, koma omwe akufuna kuti tikhale achimwemwe ndikupeza mwayi wamoyo.
Mzere wabwino womwe umalekanitsa kudzimva wathanzi ndi liwongo la neurotic
Kudziimba mlandu sikumva kusangalatsa. Palibe chikaiko pa izi. Koma sikuti nthawi zonse zimakhala zoipa. Kudziimba mlandu kulinso ndi chinthu chosinthika chomwe chimathandiza kwambiri pamaubwenzi.
Akatswiri azamaganizidwe a University New York adagwiritsa ntchito zotsatira zakusankhana mitundu kuti anthu ena azidziona kuti ndi olakwa pazoyankha zawo ndipo adapeza kuti omwe akutenga nawo mbali atenga njira zabwino zochepetsera kukondera.
Izi zikuwonetsa kuti kudziimba mlandu kumagwira ntchito m'njira ziwiri: kumatha kutipangitsa kumva kuti ndife oyipa ndikutifooketsa kuti tisabwerezenso zomwe zidatipangitsa kuti tizidzimva kuti ndife olakwa, koma zitha kulimbikitsanso machitidwe abwino, omwe cholinga chake ndikuchepetsa kulakwa. Kudziimba mlandu kungatithandize kukula monga anthu.
Kudziimba mlandu kotere kumasintha. Kudziimba mlandu ndikomwe timamva tikakhumudwitsa wina kapena kumva chisoni ndi zomwe talakwitsa. Ili ndi chifukwa chodziwikiratu ndipo imabweretsa chisoni chenicheni. Chifukwa chake, limatilimbikitsa kukonza zomwe zawonongeka ndikuziteteza kuti zisadzachitikenso. Timamva kuti tili ndi udindo ndipo tikufuna kumanganso ubalewo. Pazochitikazi, kudzimva ngati wolakwa kumathandizanso kuti anthu azikhala limodzi.
Komabe, nthawi zina sitingathe kukonza zomwe zawonongeka kapena kubwerera kuti tipewe kulakwitsa. Pamene sitingathe kukonza koma tikupitilizabe kumva kuti tili ndi udindo, liwongo limakulirakulira. Pazochitikazi titha kunena za kudzimva kuti ndife amlandu komwe kumatha kukhala kwamatenda.
Kudzimva kuti ndi neurotic kumachitikanso ngati malingaliro omwe amakhudzidwa nawo sanagwirizane ndi chifukwa china. Timawona kudzimva ngati cholemetsa, ngakhale titakhala kuti tilibe udindo pazomwe zidachitika. Kenako moyo umakhala wovuta chifukwa timasiya kudziimba mlandu ndikuyamba kudziimba mlandu. Kudziimba mlandu kumadzaza ndi chithunzi chathu tokha ndipo timayamba kudziona kuti ndife osayenera komanso osakwanira.
Zachidziwikire, ndizovuta kuti tisakhale olakwa kwathunthu, koma titha kusunga kumverera uku m'malire abwino omwe tingathe kuthana nawo. Kudziimba mlandu kungatithandizenso kudzizindikira tokha ndikusintha malingaliro kapena zikhulupiriro zathu zolakwika. Koma ngati timalola kuti zikule, zitha kumaliza chilichonse.
Malire:
Amodio, DM ndi ena. Al. (2007) Chitsanzo champhamvu chodziimba mlandu: zomwe zimapangitsa chidwi ndi kudziwongolera pakukondera. Psychol Sci; 18 (6): 524-30.
Chiang, T. & Barret, KC (1989). Kufanizira kwamakhalidwe achichepere pakuchepetsa muyezo: Chikhalidwe chakulakwa vs. chikhalidwe chamanyazi. Msonkhano wa Society for Research in Child Development, Kansas City, MO.
Grinder, RE & McMichael, RE (1963) Chikhalidwe pakukula kwa chikumbumtima: Kukana kuyesedwa ndi kudziimba mlandu pakati pa Asamoa ndi amwenye aku America. Zolemba pa Psychology Yachilendo ndi Zachikhalidwe; 66 (5): 503-507.
Pakhomo Pali mitundu isanu yazolakwa, koma m'modzi yekha ndiye wolondola idasindikizidwa koyamba mu Pakona ya Psychology.
