Timangokumbukira gawo laling'ono la zomwe timakumana nazo. Chimwemwe chokumbukiridwa chimakhudzana ndi mulingo wokhutira ndi moyo. Komabe, kukhutira ndi moyo sikutanthauza kuti tili ndi moyo wachimwemwe. Mwanjira ina, titha kukumbukira nthawi zosangalatsa, koma sizitanthauza kuti ndife osangalala.
Mu 2003, katswiri wama psychology a Daniel Kahneman adachita zoyeserera zosangalatsa kwambiri zomwe zimakhudza chisangalalo chathu, momwe timapangira zisankho ndikukhala okhutira m'moyo.
Adafunsa anthu 682 kuti afotokoze zowawa zomwe amamva panthawi ya colonoscopy. Chithunzichi pansipa chikuwonetsa zowawa zomwe zimanenedwa mphindi ndi mphindi ndi odwala awiri. Ndi wodwala uti amene anavutika kwambiri?
Mosakayikira, colonoscopy ya wodwala B inali yayitali komanso yopweteka kwambiri. Koma atafunsidwa za ululu womwe adamva, Wodwala A adakumbukira njira zopweteka kwambiri. Zatheka bwanji?
Kahneman akufotokoza kuti tonse tili ndi awiri "Ine ndine": "wondidziwa ine" yemwe amatitsogolera sekondi iliyonse ndi "biographical me" yomwe imapangitsanso kukumbukira kwathu. Vuto ndiloti "mbiri yodziwika bwino" imatha kudzipangitsa kukhala "wodziwa zambiri", kugwiritsa ntchito nkhanza zenizeni zomwe zitha kutipangitsa kupanga zisankho zomwe sizingatipangitse kukhala osangalala.
Kodi timakumana ndi moyo kapena timangokumbukira?
Tonsefe timafuna kukhala achimwemwe. Ndipo timayesetsa kukhala. Tsiku lililonse timapanga zisankho ndikuganiza kuti zitipangitsa kukhala osangalala - kapena zitibweretse pafupi ndi chisangalalo chomwe tikufuna. Koma "wolemba mbiri yathu" amatipweteka kulikonse.
Tenga, mwachitsanzo, tchuthi cha milungu iwiri. Ngati tingaganize kuti kupita kutchuthi ndichinthu chosangalatsa chomwe chimatipangitsa kukhala osangalala, titha kunena kuti tchuthi chowirikiza chiyenera kutipangitsa kukhala osangalala kawiri. Pomaliza, mphindi zakusangalala zidachulukanso.
Komabe, Kahneman akufotokoza kuti, malinga ndi malingaliro athu a "wolemba mbiri", tchuthi cha milungu iwiri sichabwino kuposa tchuthi cha sabata limodzi. Chifukwa chiyani? Kungoti chifukwa sabata yachiwiri sitimangowonjezera mphindi zosiyanasiyana, koma timangokhalira kupitiliza kuchita zosangalatsa komanso zosangalatsa zomwe tidakumana nazo sabata yoyamba.
Izi zikutanthauza kuti "zathu zokha" ndizochepa. Maganizo ake ndi kukumbukira kwake ndizochepa. Zomwe timakumbukira, zimakonda kulemba zomwe zimachitika koyambirira ndi kumapeto kwa zochitika, kapena chochitika chosayembekezereka pakati, koma zimafafaniza zambiri, zomwe ndizomwe zimapanga pafupifupi zochitika zonse, ngakhale zitakhala zosangalatsa kapena ngakhale wokondwa.
Ichi ndiye chifukwa chenicheni Wodwala A adapeza kuti colonoscopy imapweteka kwambiri: adamva kupweteka kumapeto. Pankhani ya wodwala B, komabe, kupweteka kumachepa kwambiri kumapeto kwa mayeso. Chifukwa chake kumbukirani zokumana nazozo ngati zopweteka pang'ono. Anthu awa anali ozunzidwa ndi zomwe zimadziwika kuti zotsatira zamatsutsano; ndiye kuti, chizolowezi chokumbukira mathero.
Chodziwikiratu ndichakuti tikamapanga zisankho ndikukonzekera moyo wathu, sitimasankha pakati pa zokumana nazo zosiyana, koma pakati pazokumbukira zomwe tili nazo zofananira - zopotozedwa kwambiri - kapena pakati pazokumbukira zomwe tikuyembekezera. Mwanjira ina, "wodziwa zathu" alibe chochita pazisankhozi. Koma ndi "Ine" yemwe amatiperekeza mosalekeza komanso komwe chisangalalo chathu chimadalira.
Kupondereza kwa wolemba mbiri yathu wamkati
Kahneman akutulutsa vuto lina: kumbukirani tchuthi chabwino kwambiri m'moyo wanu, kodi mungasankhe maholide omwewo mukadadziwa kuti zithunzi zonse ziwonongedwa kenako nkuyiwala zonse zomwe mudakumana nazo?
Kuwonetseraku kumatitsogolera ku funso lina lokhala ndi malingaliro ena okhalapo: tikaganiza za moyo wabwino, womwe timafuna komanso womwe ungatipangitse kukhala achimwemwe, kodi timaganizira zomwe takumana nazo mphindi ndi mphindi kapena nkhani yomwe timayika pambuyo pake mukukumbukira kwathu?
Masiku ano, pomwe zokumana nazo zakhala pampando wakumbuyo kuti zidziwike pazithunzi ndi makanema, chodabwitsachi chikukulirakulira. Chizolowezi chofuna kufafaniza chilichonse, m'malo mokhalamo kwathunthu, chimalimbitsa "umunthu wathu". Ichi ndichifukwa chake anthu ochulukirachulukira amapita kumalo kukangotenga chithunzi choyenera kapena kukayesa zochitika ndi cholinga chokhacho chodziwira pambuyo pake.
Zovuta zakukonzekera moyo wathu wabwino, womwe wa tsiku lililonse womwe ungatipangitse kukhala achimwemwe, umakhala poti ndi "wolemba mbiri" yekha, amene amakumbukira zakale ndikulosera zamtsogolo, ali ndi mawu ndikuvota posankha, kuchokera cholinga cha tchuthi chathu kuntchito yomwe timagwira kapena kwa anthu omwe timakhala nawo.
Zachidziwikire, imeneyo si njira yabwino yosankhira. Zili ngati kuti tikupanga moyo wathu powusandutsa nthano chabe momwe zidutswa zokha zomwe timawona kuti ndizofunikira, koma zomwe ndizochepa kwambiri pazomwe takumana nazo, zimathandiza kwambiri pakumvetsetsa kwathu.
Zomwe "wolemba mbiri" amakumbukira ndikukhutitsidwa kapena kusakhutira ndi zomwe zidachitikazo. Kumbukirani nsonga zachisangalalo kapena zopweteka. Koma chisangalalo ndi moyo wabwino zimachokera kukuyenda kwa tsiku ndi tsiku kwa zokumana nazo. Ichi ndichifukwa chake kusiyana kuyenera kupangidwa pakati pa:
1. Moyo wabwino, monga tikukumana nawo, mphindi ndi mphindi
2. Moyo wabwino, monga timaukumbukira ndipo umakwanira m'mbiri ya malingaliro athu
Momwe mungakhalire moyo, m'malo mouwuza?
Kuponderezana kumeneku kwa "wolemba mbiri" kumatitsutsa kuti tikhale ndi moyo kuti tikumbukire zomwe zingasokonezeke. Kodi mungathawe bwanji msamphawu? Scott H. Young fotokozani malingaliro ena:
1. Mverani apa ndi tsopano
Kukumbukira kwathu sikusunga mokhulupirika zomwe tikukumbukirazo, koma kumasankha zidutswazo, zomwe zimawawona kuti ndizofunikira kwambiri. Kukumbukira kumawoneka makamaka chifukwa cha kubwereza kwakumbuyo (kukumbukira chinthu chomaliza chomwe chidachitika), zoyambira (kukumbukira zomwe zidachitika koyambirira) ndi zachilendo (kukumbukira zosiyana ndi zosayembekezereka).
Zomwe amakumbukirazi zimawononga zambiri zomwe zimachitika, makamaka chifukwa choti sitimapereka chidwi chokwanira pakadali pano. Liti timakhala pawekha Kulowetsedwa, kutanganidwa kwambiri ndi nkhawa zamtsogolo ndi zodandaula zakale, kapena kuyang'anira zowonera, sizachilendo kuphonya zomwe zilipo.
Chifukwa chake, kuti tipeze mphamvu zambiri kwa "zomwe takumana nazo" ndikwanira kutengera chidwi pazomwe zikuchitika pano komanso pano. Khalani nawo kwathunthu pazochitikazo, m'malo mokhala ndi malingaliro anu kwina. Tikafika momwe timayendera, titha kukumbukira zokumana nazo zathunthu, osati zokumbukira zachilendo, zomwe zingatithandizire kukhala osangalala komanso okhutira.
2. Pangani zisankho ndi chizolowezi m'malingaliro
Pafupifupi aliyense amasankha zochita poganiza za chizolowezi. Timapanga zisankho tikuganiza za nthawi zabwino zomwe tidzakhalepo. Komabe, potengera nthawi, nthawi zosangalatsa izi zimasinthidwa m'moyo watsiku ndi tsiku, womwe umatenga gawo lalikulu la nthawi yathu. Chifukwa chake, ngati tikufuna mulingo wokhazikika wachimwemwe ndi wokhutira ndi moyo, tifunika kukhala ndi chidwi kwambiri ndi moyo watsiku ndi tsiku.
Chifukwa chake ndi nkhani yopanga zisankho poganizira momwe timakhalira ndi zomwe timachita tsiku lililonse, m'malo mongoganizira zochitika zapadera. Mwanjira imeneyi timatsindika za "kudziyimira pawokha" ndikuchepetsa nkhanza za "wodziwika yekha".
Zinthu zomwe timachita tsiku ndi tsiku zitha kutithandizira kukhala ndi moyo wabwino, mpaka kufika pokhala zofunika kwambiri nthawi chikwi kuposa zochitika zazikulu komanso zosaiwalika, koma zazifupi komanso zosunga nthawi. Chifukwa chake, pokonzekera moyo wathu wabwino, tiyeneranso kulingalira za momwe tsiku lathu lidzakhalire ndi chisangalalo kapena chisangalalo chomwe chingatibweretsere.
3. Sankhani moyo, osati cholinga
"Moyo ndiulendo, osati kopita", Ralph Waldo Emerson adati. Vuto ndiloti nthawi zambiri timayiwala kuti ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti tikhale ndani pamene tikufuna kukwaniritsa cholinga kuposa kukwaniritsa cholinga chomwecho.
Tikakhazikitsa zolinga, makamaka zokhumba kwambiri, zimakhala ngati tavala zotseka zomwe zimatipangitsa kuyang'ana komwe tikupita, koma zimatilepheretsa kusangalala ndi ulendowu. Tili ndi ngongole yanyumba pokwaniritsa zolingazi. Timadziuza tokha kuti tidzasangalala tikadzawafikira. Uku ndikulakwitsa kwakukulu.
Si funso lakuchotsa zolingazo, koma posankha iwo osangoganizira zokhutira zomaliza - zomwe nthawi zambiri zimakhala zotsika poyerekeza ndi zomwe zikuyembekezeredwa ndipo zimakhala zokoma - koma njira yomwe tiyenera kutsatira. Ngati tikufuna kuthawa nkhanza za wolemba mbiri yathu wamkati, tifunika kuyang'ana kwambiri za moyo womwe tikufuna kukhala, m'malo mochititsidwa khungu ndi zolinga.
Kodi ndizofunikadi kudzimana zambiri kuti tikwaniritse cholingacho? Kodi pali njira ina yosangalatsa yomwe ingatitsogolere kumalo omwewo? Awa ndi mafunso ofunikira kufunsa chifukwa ngati titakhala akapolo azolinga zathu ndi zikumbukiro zathu, tidzazikhalira, ndikupanga mbiri yathu, m'malo mongokhala tokha.
Chitsime:
Kahneman, D. et. Al. (2003) Kukumbukira za colonoscopy: kuyesedwa kosasintha. ululu; 104(1-2): 187-94.
Pakhomo Kodi mukusangalala ndi moyo kapena mukukonzekera mbiri yanu? idasindikizidwa koyamba mu Pakona ya Psychology.
