Ukugona nokuqabula kungukudla komphefumulo, ikakhulukazi eminyakeni yokuqala yokuphila. Ukugona okupholisayo nokukwenza uhleke, ukwanga okududuzayo nokuqabula okugcwalisa inhliziyo akufanele kuphuthelwe ekuphileni kwansuku zonke kwezingane.
Ukuqabula akukhona nje ukubonakaliswa kothando kwamazwe ngamazwe, kodwa futhi kukhuthaza ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo. Kodwa-ke, njengoba izingane zikhula, kuvamile ukuziqhelelanisa ngokomzimba, ikakhulukazi lapho ukuxhamazela, ukucindezeleka noma ubuvila besimiso kuthatha ukunaka kwabazali. Ngakho-ke kulula ukukhohlwa ukuqabula kobusuku obuhle noma uzikhawulele ekuqabuleni ngokuxhamazela.
Umlingo wokuqabula ekukhuleni kwengane
Ukuqabula kungase kubonakale njengento elula kangangokuthi kulula ukukhohlwa ukubaluleka kwakho okukhulu ngokomzwelo kanye nazo zonke izinzuzo ezizilethayo. Eqinisweni, ukuqabula kunamandla amakhulu "okuphulukisa". Zidlulisela ukulondeka nothando, zingadambisa ubuhlungu bokuwa nokukhala kwezingane. Bangumsindisi lapho izinto zingahambi kahle futhi kuvela ukukhungatheka noma ukudabuka.
Umphumela onenzuzo wokuqabula uxhumene nezinguquko ezizikhiqizayo ebuchosheni. Ukuqabula kukhonjiswe ukuthi kukhulula i-cocktail yamakhemikhali, njenge-oxytocin, i-dopamine ne-serotonin, eyenza izikhungo zokuzijabulisa zisebenze. Ngenxa yalokho, banciphisa amazinga e-cortisol futhi banciphise ubuhlungu nokucindezeleka ngokomzwelo.
Uthando olungokomzimba, olubonakaliswa ngokugona nokuqabula, lubuye lube nengxenye ekuzinzeni kwemizwelo yezingane. Ucwaningo olwenziwa e- Brown University yembula ukuthi izingane ezathola uthando olwengeziwe olungokomzimba kubazali bazo ngokugona nokuqabula zazingase zikhule zibe abantu abadala abazinzile ngokomzwelo. Baphinde babonise ukukhathazeka okuncane, amandla engeziwe, bazizwa beqiniseka ngokwengeziwe, futhi benomusa kwabanye.
Amandla okugona nokuqabula awagcini nje endaweni yemizwa. Ucwaningo olwenziwa nezingane eziyizintandane eRomania ngawo-90 lwabonisa ukuthi labo abathola uthando oluncane kubazali babo bokutholwa baye bakhinyabeza ukukhula ngokomzimba nokukhula ngokomzwelo. Ngakho-ke, izenzo ezingokomzimba zothando nazo zithuthukisa ukukhula kobuntwana.
Ngokungangabazeki, ukwanga kwabazali kuba yindawo yokuzola, enikeza isivikelo esibalulekile nokwethemba izingane ezikudingayo ukuze zilulame. Ngokuqabula, abazali babonisa ukusekela nokuqonda kwabo, beqinisa isibopho esingokomzwelo nezingane zabo, ukuze bazikhumbuze ukuthi ziyoba ngasohlangothini lwabo lapho zikudinga kakhulu.
Isiko lasebusuku elizuzisayo: kungani ungaqedi usuku ngaphandle kokuqabula izingane zakho?
Njengabazali, kubaluleke kakhulu ukunikela isikhashana sokuxhumana ngokomzwelo ezinganeni zethu lapho ukuqabula, ukwanga nokugona kungantuli, ikakhulukazi ngaphambi kokuyolala. Ukuqabula, okunikezwa khona ngokugcwele, kuyindlela enhle kakhulu yokubonisa izingane ukuthi sizithanda kangakanani. Ngenxa yalesi sizathu akufanele neze zintuleke, ngisho nalapho sezikhulile futhi lowo muzwa wokungasadingeki njengoba uvela ngaphambili.
Ezinganeni, ukulala nenkumbulo yokuqabula, ukuphulula ubuso kanye nezwi elithi "Ngiyakuthanda" elivela kumama nobaba kunenzuzo enkulu. Akusona nje isikhathi esimnandi esizobasiza ukuba baphumule, kodwa lezi ziboniso zothando zizobenza bazizwe bethandwa, bebalulekile futhi bebalulekile.
Ukuqabula okuhlela, empeleni, kunencazelo ejulile engokomfanekiso. Ziyisiqinisekiso sobudlelwane phakathi kukababa nendodana. Baphinde bayisitatimende semishini ngoba bagcizelela ukuthi noma ngabe yiluphi usuku esibe nalo, lokho kuqabula kugcizelela ukuzinikela othandweni lwethu nokweseka komunye nomunye.
Ukuqabula okuhle ebusuku kukhumbuza ingane yakho ukuthi ikhethekile kuwe nokuthi uthando lwakho alunamibandela. Baphinde baphathe nesithembiso sokuthi kusasa kuzoba usuku olusha oluneziqalo ezintsha nesithembiso sethemba ngekusasa.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, lokho Kiss Goodnight akuzuzi nje kuphela ezinganeni, kodwa amandla akho adlulela nakubazali. Leso sikhathi sokuxhumana nothando, esiphila egameni lokuzola, ukuzibandakanya nokuqwashisa, sizobasiza ukuthi bashaje amabhethri abo futhi bazikhulule ekucindezelekeni kosuku, babheke lokho okubaluleke ngempela.
Lowo mzuzu osondelene wothando nokuxhumana uzophindwa kamuva empilweni. Izingane ziyohlale zikuphethe enkumbulweni yazo futhi kungenzeka ukuthi kamuva zizophinda futhi nezingane zazo, zivale umbuthano omuhle wothando. Ngamafuphi, ayikho indlela engcono yezingane nabazali kunokubingelela usuku ngokumanga, lala ngenhliziyo egcwele uthando ngemva kokuchitha lezo zikhathi zemilingo emaphethelweni ombhede.
Imithombo
Maselko, J. et. Al. (2011) Uthando lukamama ezinyangeni ezingu-8 lubikezela ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo lapho umuntu esekhulile. J Epidemiol Umphakathi Wempilo; 65 (7): 621-625.
Carter, CS (1998) Imibono ye-Neuroendocrine ekuxhumekeni komphakathi nothando. I-Psychoneuroendocrinology; 23 (8): 779-818.
Chisholm, K. (1998) Ukulandela Iminyaka Emithathu Yokunamathisela Kanye Nobungani Obungakhethi Ezinganeni Ezithathwe Ezikhungweni Zezintandane ZaseRomania. Ukuthuthukiswa Kwabantwana; 69 (4): 1092-1106.
Umnyango Qeda usuku ngothando, amandla okuqabula okuhlela ezinganeni yashicilelwa okokuqala ngo Ikhona lePsychology.
