Kwake kwaba nomhlangano wezinkalankala. Zazivela yonke indawo: emanzini azolile nasezilwandle ezinezinkathazo ngisho nasemifuleni imbala. Kwakungakaze kukhale ucingo olungaka, ngakho wonke umuntu wayelindele ukwazi ukuthi kungani.
Inkalankala endala yakhuluma:
- Bangane, nginibizele ukuba nikhulume ngomkhuba omubi kakhulu osekungamakhulu eminyaka siwenza futhi okudingeka siwushintshe ngokushesha.
Wonke umuntu wamangala, kwaze kwabuza inkalankala encane:
- Uyini lo mkhuba?
- Hamba uye emuva -, inkalankala endala yaphendula ngokungananazi. - Wonke umuntu usebenzisa thina njengesibonelo esingesihle futhi bazakhele isithombe esibi ngathi. Cishe ngeke sikwazi ukushintsha, kodwa ngiphakamisa ukuthi omama bafundise izingane zabo ukuya phambili. Kuzoba lula esizukulwaneni esisha, ngakho-ke sizothuthukisa isithombe sethu.
Ababekhona bavuma, futhi lapho sebebuyela ekhaya benza umzamo wokusebenzisa ukutusa. Kusukela ngaleso sikhathi kuqhubeke, zonke izinkalankala ezizalwa zizofundiswa ukuhamba ziye phambili.
Omama benza konke okusemandleni ukuze baqondise inzalo yabo, ngisho nezinkalankala ezincane zazizama ukunyakazisa imilenze njengokuyalelwa, kodwa intuthuko yayincane ngoba kwakunzima kakhulu.
Ngolunye usuku, enye yezinkalankala ezisencane yabona ukuthi abazali bayo babehlehla ngokushesha nangokuzikhandla.
- Kungani benza into eyodwa futhi basifundisa enye? - Amasonto.
Ngaphandle kokupholisa amaseko, bazama indlela yokuhamba futhi bathola ukuthi ilula, ngakho bayeka ukuzama ukuya phambili.
Inkalankala kwadingeka ivume ukuthi yayingeke ikwazi ukucela intsha into yona eyayingakwazi ukuyenza. Ngakho, bonke baqhubeka nokuhamba behlehla, njengenjwayelo.
Nakuba empeleni izinkalankala zingahambi emuva, kodwa eceleni, le nganekwane ka-Félix María de Samaniego ikhuluma ngokubaluleka kokungaguquguquki njengenani, kokubili emkhakheni wezemfundo ekuphileni kwansuku zonke. Eqinisweni, ukungaguquguquki kuye kwaba ngenye yamanani avela kaningi futhi aboniswayo okuphila kwansuku zonke. Okungenani umqondo wayo, hhayi umkhuba wayo.
Ukuvumelana njengenani kanye nengxenye yokwahlulela
Igama elithi ukuhambisana livela kwelesiLatini i-coherentia, eyayisetshenziselwa ukukhombisa ukuxhumana komhlaba wonke noma ubudlelwano phakathi kweqembu ngalinye. Isho ukubumbana, hhayi kuphela ngaphakathi kwezimo kodwa nasekukhulumeni kwazo.
Singasho ukuthi umuntu akaguquguquki lapho ehlangabezana nezimfuneko ezimbili eziyisisekelo: 1. ukugwema ukusho noma ukuzwa into ethile futhi enze enye, kanye 2. nokugcina izithembiso nezibopho zomuntu. Ngakho-ke, abantu abangaguquguquki bayabikezela futhi banokwethenjelwa. Siyazi okufanele sikulindele kubo nalokho okungafanele.
Ukungaguquguquki kwembula amandla noma ubuthakathaka bohlelo lwethu lokuziphatha kanye nokusebenza kwalo emhlabeni wangempela. Yilokho okusivumela ukuthi sibe ireferensi yabanye abantu, umuntu othembekile nothembekile odlulisa ukuvikeleka nokuvumelana kokwahlulela nesenzo. Ngakho-ke isebenza njengeglue yezenhlalo enamandla, kuyilapho ukungabi khona kwayo kudala ukudideka, ukungaqiniseki nokungathembani ebudlelwaneni. Ngakho-ke, ukungaguquguquki kungaba yinto ebalulekile yokwakha izikhala zokwethembana noma, ngokuphambene nalokho, izinsolo ezidala izingxabano phakathi kwabantu.
Ngenxa yalesi sizathu, sivame ukusisebenzisa njengesisekelo nesici sokwahlulela. Sihlola ukungaguquguquki kwabanye ukuze sazi ukuthi izwi labo lithembekile yini. Kunalokho, ukungaguquguquki kuqeda amandla okuziphatha. Eqinisweni, sikholelwa ukuthi akufanelekile ukwamukela izifundo kubantu abangaguquki.
Kodwa akufanele sikhohlwe ukuthi ngendlela esiphakamisa ngayo amashiya lapho sibhekene nokungezwani kosopolitiki nabanye abahlonishwayo emphakathini, ukungaguquguquki kuyasihlubula futhi kusiveze obala, njengasenganekwaneni yezinkalankala. Akekho okhululekile ekungahambelani.
Ukwakha ukungaguquguquki kuyinqubo yokuphila konke
Ukungaguquguquki komuntu siqu kwakhelwa impilo yonke. Siyifunda siseyizingane, okokuqala emndenini, bese esikoleni nasemphakathini. Abazali, kunjalo, badlala indima enkulu ekubumbeni umqondo wokuhambisana, kanye nohlelo lwezemfundo.
Kukho konke ukuphila, sifunda ngezindlela ezihlukahlukene, kuhlanganise nokubheka lokho abanye abakwenzayo. Eqinisweni, ukufunda okuyimodeli, okwaziwa nangokuthi ukufunda ngokubuka, ukulingisa noma ukufunda ngokuzumayo, kungenye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu ebuntwaneni. Izingane zifunda ngokubuka abantu abadala, ababa izibonelo nezibonelo zabo. Ngakho-ke, ukufundisa kusuka ngokungaguquguquki kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokuthuthukisa leli gugu.
Nokho, ukufunda ngokulingisa akukhona nje esigabeni sosana. Njengabantu abadala siyaqhubeka nokubheka ukuziphatha kontanga yethu futhi sifunde kubo. Njengoba nje izingane zibheka kubazali bazo amaphuzu athile okubhekisela kuzo lapho ziduka esimweni somphakathi, nathi sibheka kwabanye lapho singazi ukuthi kufanele siziphathe kanjani.
Lapho ungabaza, kungokwemvelo ukunaka lokho abanye abakwenzayo. Kuyindlela yasendulo esivumela ukuthi sigweme amaphutha angadingekile noma izimo eziyingozi. Ngakho-ke, singaqhubeka nokuqinisa ukungaguquguquki komuntu siqu lapho sesikhulile, kuyilapho siqaphela isibonelo izinhlangano nezinhlelo ezisinikezayo. Ekugcineni, wonke umphakathi namasiko akhiqiza izindinganiso ezithile zokungaguquguquki.
Kodwa uma sicwile kumasistimu enza ukungahambisani kahle, singase sibe ne-dissonance engqondweni futhi nokuhlangana kwethu kuhlupheka. Umuzwa wethu wokubumbana, eqinisweni, awumi kodwa uwukwakheka okuphilayo okunyakazayo nokuvumelana nezimo, ukwazi ukuba umgogodla wempilo yethu noma, ngokuphambene, igatsha elibambisanayo.
Uma sivaleleke emphakathini lapho amazinga aphezulu okungahambisani avunyelwe, ngokuyisisekelo sinamathuba amathathu, njengoba isazi sefilosofi u-Esther Trujillo echaza. Esokuqala siwukuyeka imibono nezinkolelo zethu, kanti okwesibili kuhilela ukuzivumelanisa nezimo ukuze uhlelo lusamukele.
Noma iyiphi indlela silwela ukungaguquguquki. Lokhu kuhilela ukuyeka ukwenza esikufunayo noma ukusiphoqa ukuba sicabange ngendlela ehlukile. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lokhu kungqubuzana kungase kuthathe izintambo, kusenze sizizwe singabakhohlisi futhi silahlekelwe ukuzithinta.
Okwesithathu okungenzeka ukuthi siqaphele ukuthi asikwazi ukushintsha umphakathi uwonke ukuze uvumelane nezinkolelo zethu, ngakho kufanele "siphume" ukuze silondoloze ukubumbana kwethu. Lokhu ngokusobala kuza ngezindleko. Futhi ngokuvamile iphakeme impela.
Izindleko kanye nesicupho esingaguquguquki
Ukuvumelana kukhona yonke indawo. Kuzibonakalisa ebuntwini bethu, ekwenzeni nasekushoni. Kubuye kuziveze ngezinqumo zethu, ikakhulukazi lapho sikhetha okufanele sikugcine nalokho esizokuyeka. Noma yisiphi isinqumo esivumelana ngaso sonke isikhathi sihilela ukuhoxiswa. Ngakho-ke, umkhuba wokungaguquguquki usho ukuzimisela ukuyeka ezinye izinto.
Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile ukuthi ungangeni ogibeni lokuhambisana, okusho ukuthi njengomqondo ophelele mayelana "konke noma lutho". Ukungaguquguquki kungaba umthombo wokugqugquzela kanye nomgogodla wempilo enenjongo, kodwa futhi kungaba yisithiyo uma kusetshenziswa ngokuqinile. Ukungaguquguquki kufanele kube ikhampasi, hhayi i-straitjacket. Uma silisebenzisa ngokuqina, ligcina lisicindezele futhi lisephule, lisifake ngaphansi kobushiqela balo. Umbuso wobushiqela ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ovame ukuba yingozi.
Sonke siyashintsha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ngenxa yokuhlangenwe nakho esinakho. Kujwayelekile. Ukuhlala uboshelwe kumanani alahlekelwe yi-raison d'etre yawo futhi engasabonisi ukuthi singobani noma ukuthi yini esikholelwa kuyo, ukuze nje singaguquguquki, ukuzibulala ngokwengqondo. Ukungaguquguquki kuyithuluzi lokuphila kangcono nokuba yiqiniso, hhayi isiphunzi okumelwe uboshwe kuso.
Imithombo
Trujillo, E. (2020) Ifuna ukuhambisana. Isimilo.
Vonk, R. (1995) Imithelela Yokuziphatha Okungahambisani Emibonweni Yomuntu: Ucwaningo Oluningi. Ubuntu ne-Social Psychology Bulletin; 21 (7): 674-685.
Umnyango Ukubaluleka kokungaguquguquki njengevelu emhlabeni o ngokuya ushintshashintsha yashicilelwa okokuqala ngo Ikhona lePsychology.
