Ukwehla kuyindlela evamile yokuzivikela okungenzeka ukuthi uke wayibona ngezikhathi ezithile noma waze wazilolonga. Ngokwesibonelo, ingabe wake wabhekana nomuntu omdala oziphatha njengengane? Ingabe umlingani wakho uphendula ngokufutheka okugcwele lapho ezizwa ecindezelekile? Ingabe uke wazizwa usengozini enkulu esimweni esibuhlungu, noma ngabe ubungenjalo? Noma mhlawumbe usabela njengengane ngaphansi kwengcindezi? Kuzo zonke lezi zimo, isizathu sokuziphatha okunjalo kungenzeka kube ukuhlehla.
Kuyini ukuhlehla futhi kungani kwenzeka?
Ngokuka-Sigmund Freud, ukuhlehla kuyindlela yokuzivikela equlekile eyenza i-ego ibuyele okwesikhashana noma isikhathi eside esigabeni sangaphambili sokukhula. Empeleni, esikhundleni sokubhekana nemibono engamukeleki ngendlela evuthiwe, sibuyela ezigabeni zangaphambili zokuphila.
Eqinisweni, ukuhlehla kuwukuziphatha okuvamile ebuntwaneni, ngokuvamile okubangelwa ukucindezeleka, ukukhungatheka, noma isenzakalo esibuhlungu. Izingane zivame ukubonisa ukuziphatha okuhlehlisayo ukuze zikhulume ngokuphatheka kabi kwazo. Ngenxa yalokhu, bangase babuyele ekuchameni embhedeni ngenxa yedivosi yabazali babo noma balahlekelwe amazwi abo ngenxa yokuxhashazwa. Uma inkinga ewumsuka kubhekwana nayo, ukuziphatha okubuyisela emuva kuvame ukulungiswa.
Kodwa-ke, kubantu abadala, ukwehla kungase kwenzeke kunoma ibuphi ubudala futhi kuhilela ukubuyela esigabeni sokukhula sangaphambili, kungaba ngokomzwelo, kwezenhlalo, noma ukuziphatha. Njengasebuntwaneni, imizwa efana nokungazethembi, ukwesaba noma intukuthelo ingabangela indlela yokuhlehla lapho umuntu esemdala.
Ngokuyisisekelo, sibuyela ezingeni lokuthuthuka lapho sazizwa silondeke kakhulu futhi sinethezekile ngenxa yokuthi kwakungekho ukukhathazeka noma ingcindezi, isigaba lapho sasingenazo izibopho futhi abazali bethu "bengakwazi ukusihlenga" - noma siyakukhumbula. Ngakho-ke, ukuhlehla kwezingane kuwumzamo we-ego ukuzivikela eqinisweni elidlulayo, ukufuna ukulondeka okulahlekile kwesinye isigaba sokuphila kwayo. Ukuhlehla kumnika indawo yokubambelela.
Ungahlukanisa kanjani i-pathological regressive yokuziphatha okuwusizo?
Ukubonakaliswa kokuhlehla ngokuyisisekelo kuncike esigabeni somqondo lapho umuntu elungiswa khona. Isibonelo, umuntu angase abe nolaka kakhulu ngokomzimba noma athukuthele uma ebuyela esiteji lapho engakwazi khona ukubeka imizwa yakhe ngamazwi, cishe iminyaka engu-3. Kunalokho, angase abe yisihlava, aphaphatheke, futhi angabi nandaba uma ebuyela eminyakeni yakhe yobusha.
Eqinisweni, ukuziphatha okubuyisela emuva kungase kube lula noma kube nzima, kube yingozi noma kungabi yingozi, kokubili kumuntu ohlehlisiwe kanye nalabo abaseduze kwakhe. Ngokwesibonelo, uCarl Jung wayenombono omuhle ngokwengeziwe wokuhlehla kwezingane. Wayecabanga ukuthi ukuhlehla akukona nje ukubuyela ebuntwaneni, kodwa umzamo wokufinyelela isimo esingokomzwelo esisidingayo njengamanje ukuze sibhekane nenkinga ethile noma isithiyo, esinjengomuzwa wokwaneliseka, uthando esaluthola ebuntwaneni , ebuntwaneni. ubumsulwa noma ukwethenjwa esakuzwa kuleso sigaba sokuphila.
Ukuma kombungu esikuthathayo lapho sizizwa sigula noma sikhala ngokungaduduzeki yisibonelo sokuhlehla njengokuthi indlela yokuzivikela. Iphinde ibambelele kuleso silwane esigxishiwe esinaso kusukela sisebancane. Lezi zindlela zokuziphatha ezihlehlayo azikho i-pathological noma ezimbi. Kwesinye isikhathi ukuhlehla kwesikhashana kungaba usizo ukusisiza ukuthi sinqobe ukungakhululeki futhi siphinde sithole ukuzola, ukuzethemba kanye nokuzethemba.
Kodwa kwezinye izikhathi, ukuziphatha okubuyisela emuva kuwukubonakaliswa kwesitayela sokubhekana nokungenele noma esingalungile sokulawula ukucindezeleka, ngakho akusixazululi isimo, kodwa ngokuvamile sisenza sibe sibi nakakhulu. Umuntu obhekene nenkinga yobudlelwano futhi okhombisa ukuziphatha okuhlehlayo, ngokwesibonelo, ngeke akwazi ukuxazulula inkinga izingxabano ezifihliwe.
Ukuhlehla kuba yinkinga ikakhulukazi ezindaweni lapho izinqumo ezibalulekile zidinga ukwenziwa ngoba kufanele sibhekane namaqiniso, kunokuba sibalekele. Kulezi zimo, ukubalekela esikhathini esedlule akusona isixazululo, ikakhulukazi uma sinamathuluzi ambalwa okusebenza kwengqondo ngaleso sikhathi.
Eqinisweni, ucwaningo olwenziwa e-I-Instituto Universitário de Lisboa ibonise ukuthi ukwehla kungase kuhlotshaniswe kakhulu nezimo zokungaqiniseki okuphezulu ezidala ukungabaza. Kulokhu kungaba umzamo womuntu ukushiyela izinqumo ezandleni zabanye, ebalekela umthwalo angawufuni, angeke akwazi ukuwuthwala.
Ungavala kanjani indlela yokuvikela ukuhlehla?
Kwesinye isikhathi impilo ayihambi ngokohlelo. Izinqumo zamasu, umnyakazo obaliwe kanye nemicimbi ecatshangelwe kusengaphambili kungathatha izinkomba ezihluke kakhulu kunalokho ebesikulindele, kusishiye sikhungathekile, sikhungathekile futhi simangale. Indlela esisingatha ngayo ingcindezi izoncika ebuntwini bethu, ukuqina, namandla ezindlela zethu zokubhekana nesimo.
Noma ngabe yikuphi, ukuvuma ukuthi izinto azihambanga ngokohlelo nokuthi sizizwa sigajwe yizimo kuyindawo enhle yokuqala. Uma sibona okwenzekayo, sishiya indawo encane yokuthi abaqulekile "basilawulele" izinkinga ngoba siyazilawula.
Uma siqaphela ukuziphatha okubuyisela emuva, esikhundleni sokuzijezisa, kungcono ukuzwelana nalowo mntwana wangaphakathi ozama ukusivikela. Ukuziphatha ngothando nangomusa kungcono kunokuzishaya ezimweni ezicindezelayo nezinzima ngokwanele.
Kuyasiza futhi ukuphenya ukuthi sizizwa kanjani, ukusho lezo imizwa nemizwa usola ukuthi singazama. Lokhu kuzosisiza ukuthi singene kuleyo ngxenye yemizwa esethusayo futhi kuzosishukumisela ukuba samukele ukuziphatha okuhlehlayo.
Ngakho kufanele sisebenzele ukuthuthukisa ukwethembana. Uma sizizwa sivikelekile futhi siqiniseka ngamakhono ethu okuqhubekela phambili kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwenzekani, ngeke sibe khona isidingo sokuvula izindlela zokuvikela ezifana nokuhlehla.
Ukuphetha, kufanele sikhumbule ukuthi nakuba ukuhlehla kungasisiza ukuthi sinciphise futhi silawule ukucindezeleka nganoma isiphi isikhathi, ukusetshenziswa kwayo okuhlelekile kungaba nomthelela omubi endleleni esisabela ngayo ekushintsheni kokuphila, okuthinta impilo yethu yengqondo isikhathi eside. .
Imithombo
I-Costa, RM (2020) Ukwehla (Indlela Yokuzivikela) I-Encyclopedia of Personality kanye nokwehluka komuntu ngamunye; 10.1007: 4346-4348.
I-Lokko, HN & Stern, TA (2015) Ukwehla: Ukuxilongwa, Ukuhlola, Nokuphatha. I-Prim Care Companion CNS Disorder; 17 (3): 10.4088.
Segal, DL et. Al. (2007). Umehluko wendlela yokuzivikela phakathi kwabantu abadala abancane nabadala: Uphenyo oluhlanganisa izingxenye eziningi. Ukuguga nempilo Yengqondo; 11(4): 415-422.
Umnyango Ukwehla Njengendlela Yezokuvikela: Ukubuyela Ebuntwaneni Ukuze Uzizwe Uphephile yashicilelwa okokuqala ngo Ikhona lePsychology.
