Amacala okubulala ngababulali. Abenzi bokuphulwa komthetho ngabadlwenguli. Izigebengu zamasela ngamasela. I-corny. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi imigqa iyafiphala futhi omunye awele endaweni ewuxhaphozi yokusola isisulu.
Izinga lecala, yiqiniso, liyahlukahluka. Ukusola izisulu kuthatha izilinganiso eziningi kanye nama-nuances amaningi. Kunalabo ababeka wonke umthwalo wemfanelo walokho okwenzeka kulowo ohlukunyeziwe nalabo abasola ingxenye encane nje yecala. Kukhona abacabanga ukuthi isisulu besingenza ngenye indlela ukugwema ukuhlaselwa, kube sengathi une-crystal ball ebikezela ukuthi kuzokwenzekani.
Yiqiniso, akunakwenzeka ngaso sonke isikhathi ukusola isisulu ngokucacile ngokwenza izimangalo eziqinile mayelana nesibopho sakhe emaqinisweni, ngoba umphakathi uvame ukugxeka izikhundla ezinjalo. Kulezi zimo abantu basebenzisa amasu okusola acashile, njengocwaningo olwenziwa endaweni Brock University, echaza isenzo ekuziphatheni izisulu ezingalawuleka. Bese kuba khona abasola umufi ngezinsolo zokuthi “ubudedengu” nabamsola ngokungazi.
Kungani sisola abahlukumezekile esikhundleni sokubaseka?
Ukuthambekela kokusola isisulu kuvela ukukholelwa ezweni elinobulungiswa. Eqinisweni, kuye kwaboniswa ukuthi ukukholelwa ezweni elinobulungisa kungasenza singakunaki ukuhlupheka kwabanye.
Naphezu kweqiniso lokuthi ubulungisa abukho emhlabeni wezilwane noma endalweni, sikholelwa ukuthi umhlaba nalokho okwenzeka kithi kuyayithobela imithetho ethile yobulungisa bendawo yonke. Sonke sinombono onganakile wokuthi abantu bafanelwe okwenzeka kubo, okuhle nokubi. Ukucabanga ukuthi izinto ezimbi zenzeka kubantu abalungile inselele le nkolelo futhi kusibangela ukungakhululeki okukhulu.
Ukuze sigweme ukungezwani kwengqondo, sikhetha ukubheka enye incazelo, incazelo enengqondo yalokho okwenzekile, okungcono kakhulu eduduzayo nehambisana nombono wethu ngalowo mhlaba onobulungisa. Sikhetha ukungacabangi ukuthi ezinye izinto zenzeka ngengozi futhi sibheka isizathu esanelisa inkolelo yethu yokuthi izinto ezimbi, ngomqondo othile, ziwuhlobo lwesijeziso.
Uma besicabanga ukuthi umhlaba uyindawo enesiphithiphithi futhi engenabulungisa, kufanele sivume ukuthi kungenzeka noma ubani angaba isisulu senhlekelele. Abazali bethu, izingane zethu, umlingani wethu noma thina. Ukukholelwa kulokho ubulungisa bendawo yonke kunikeza umuzwa wokulondeka oyiphutha. Kuyasisiza ukuthi sicabange ukuthi lezi zinto ezimbi ngeke zenzeke kithi, ngoba siyazi ukuthi sithatha kanjani izinyathelo ezifanele, sihlakaniphe kakhulu noma siqaphe kakhulu.
Ngokwesibonelo, singacabanga: “ukube akazange asikhiphe isikhwama sakhe semali, bebengeke basihlwithe ezandleni zakhe”, “ukube wayekhethe indlela ephephile, ubengeke ahlaselwe” noma “ukuba ubeyifakile i-alamu, bebengeke bantshontshe indlu yakhe”.
Ukusola isisulu kusenza sizizwe siphephile ngoba sikholelwa ukuthi yithi esilawula isimo. Idlulisela inkolelo yokuthi uma singenzi okufanayo noma singafani nalowo muntu, okufanayo ngeke kwenzeke nakithi. Yingakho sivame ukucabanga ukuthi umthwalo wemfanelo ukulowo ohlaselwe.
Ekugcineni, konke kuphelela embonweni wokuthi uma senza “okulungile,” sizophepha. Ngakho-ke, lapho sisola isisulu, esikwenzayo ngempela ukufuna ukuphepha ezweni esilibona ngokungazi njengelinesiphithiphithi kakhulu, elinobutha noma elingenabulungiswa.
Ubuhlungu obubangelwa ukuvuselelwa
Futhi okubi kakhulu ukuthi lapho isenzo sinonya kakhulu, kuyanda ukuthambekela kokusola isisulu ngoba sinesidingo esikhulu sokufuna izimpendulo futhi sizizwe siphephile. Eqinisweni, ucwaningo olwenziwa e- IFranklin Pierce University yembula ukuthi imizwa yokungabi nalusizo kwabesifazane ivame ukwandisa imikhuba yokusola izisulu zobudlova obungokobulili.
Ngaphandle kokuqaphela, le micabango yokusola, ikakhulukazi lapho yabiwa esidlangalaleni, ingenye indlela yokwenza isisulu siphendule. Ngakho-ke, baba isenzo sesibili sobudlova.
Ngempela, ukungabaza ubugebengu noma izinga lomonakalo ngokuvamile kuyisithiyo ekwelapheni. Umphakathi osola umuntu ohlukumezekile kaningi uyamgxeka, okwenza kube nzima ukuthi anqobe lesi simo esibuhlungu.
Lokhu kuhlukunyezwa kabusha kuvimbela izinkulungwane zabantu ekubikeni ngokuhlukunyezwa abahlangabezane nakho noma baze balokothe batshele abantu abasondelene nabo ngoba abazi noma bazothola ukwesekwa nokuqinisekiswa ngokomzwelo abakudingayo. Yingakho abantu abaningi behlupheka ngokuthula ukuhlukumezeka kwengqondo.
Lapho isisulu sisolwa, akukhona nje ukuthi imizwa yakhe ayisebenzi, kodwa kanye nolwazi lwaso, ngokuqondile ngesikhathi sokuba sengozini okukhulu, lapho bedinga khona ukwesekwa okukhulu. Ukugxila kulowo ohlukunyeziwe akugcini nje ngokususa icala kumhlukumezi, kodwa kungabangela ngisho isisulu ukuba sizingabaze futhi sicabange ukuthi kwakuyiphutha laso. Ngakho-ke, singahlosile, singagcina sithethelela izinto ezingenabulungiswa.
Kodwa-ke, into embi kakhulu engenzeka kumuntu ohlaselwe ukuzizwa ehlulelwa, egxekwa, esolwa futhi engafaneleki. Kungakho sonke, singafuni lutho, sidinga ukungabaza izisusa zethu futhi sinake amazwi ethu, ukuze siqiniseke ukuthi asidali ubuhlungu obuningi futhi esikhundleni salokho sibe yindawo ephephile edingwa yizisulu.
Imithombo
Hafer, CL et. Al. (2019) Ubufakazi bokuhlola bokusola isisulu esicashile ngaphandle kokusolwa okuyingcaca. PLoS One; 14 (12): e0227229.
Gravelin, C. et. Al. (2017) Umthelela wamandla nokungabi namandla ekusoleni isisulu sokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi. Izinqubo Zeqembu Nobudlelwano Beqembu; 22 (1): 10.1177.
Umnyango Ukusola isisulu, isenzo sesibili sodlame yashicilelwa okokuqala ngo Ikhona lePsychology.
