Ukuthomba ngokuvamile kuyisigaba esiyinkimbinkimbi. Yinkathi yezinguquko phakathi kobuntwana nokukhula okuphawulwa izinguquko zomzimba, imizwa nezenhlalo eziletha izinselele ezinkulu. Intsha iqala ukuthuthukisa ubunjalo bayo, ifisa ukuzimela futhi izame ukuthola indawo yayo emhlabeni, kodwa isantula ukuvuthwa futhi ikuthola kunzima ukuphatha kahle imizwa yayo. Ngakho-ke akumangazi ukuthi ingxenye yakho konke ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo impilo yonke ikhula lapho ineminyaka engu-14, okusho ukuthi ubusha buyinkathi ebucayi kakhulu yokuvimbela nokwelashwa kwezinkinga zempilo yengqondo.
Impilo yengqondo yentsha ayikaze ibe sengozini
Ekwindla ka-2021, i-American Academy of Pediatrics futhi iI-American Academy of Child kanye Nezingane Zengqondo Zengqondo Yengane Enesibindi bajoyine amazwi abo ukuze bamemezele isimo esiphuthumayo sikazwelonke sezempilo yengqondo ezinganeni kanye nentsha. ESpain, isimo esiphuthumayo asikamenyezelwa ngokusemthethweni, kodwa sisazwakala.
Umbiko wakamuva mayelana nokuziphatha kokuzibulala kanye nempilo yengqondo ebuntwaneni nasebusheni obuvela ku-ANAR Foundation uyakhathaza. Isibalo samacala anokuziphatha kokuzibulala sikhule ngo-1.921,3% kule minyaka eyishumi edlule, ikakhulukazi ngemuva kwalolu bhubhane, lapho imizamo yokuzibulala inyuke ngo-128%.
I-Spanish Association of Pediatrics iphinde yaxwayisa ngokuthi impilo yengqondo yezingane nentsha iye yawohloka kakhulu eminyakeni yamuva nje. Ngaphambi kwalolu bhubhane, kwakulinganiselwa ukuthi cishe u-20% wentsha yayinenkinga yokuphazamiseka kwengqondo okungaba umphumela wayo impilo yonke.
Kodwa-ke, eminyakeni emibili edlule, ukuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla kukhuphuke ngo-40%, ukucindezeleka ngo-19% kanye nolaka ngo-10%. Ngaphezu kwalokho, amacala anzima kakhulu, iziguli zincane futhi zidinga ukulaliswa esibhedlela. Ngalesi sizathu, kubalulekile ukuthi abazali bakuqaphele ukubaluleka kwempilo yengqondo entsheni.
Uma ingane yakho inomkhuhlane, cishe uzosabela ngokushesha ekufuneni usizo lwezokwelapha, ngakho uma uthola ingane yakho idabukile, icasuka, noma ingenaso isithakazelo emisebenzini eyayikade iyijabulela, ungacabangi ukuthi kuyisigaba nje noma into engabalulekile leyo. ungakwazi ukuziba ngaphandle kwemiphumela emikhulu. Uma kukhulunywa ngempilo yengqondo yezingane zethu, kubalulekile ukuthi singakuyeki ukuqaphela kwethu.
Izinkinga zempilo yengqondo ezingalashiwe ziphazamisa ukufunda, ukuhlalisana kwabantu, ukuzethemba, nezinye izici ezibalulekile zokuthuthuka, ngakho intsha ingakwazi ukuthwala imiphumela empilweni yayo yonke. Ezimweni ezimbi kakhulu, ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo kungaholela ngisho nasekuzibulaleni.
Indlela yokunakekela impilo yengqondo yentsha ekhaya?
Abazali bayesaba ukuqala kokuthomba ngoba balindele ukushintsha kwemizwa yayo, ukuziphatha okubeka engozini, nezingxabano ezingapheli, kodwa empeleni futhi kuyithuba lokusungula izibopho eziqinile. Eqinisweni, kulesi sigaba abazali bangaba izibonelo zokukhula ngokomzwelo futhi basize izingane zabo ezisakhula zisebenzise amasu okubhekana nezimo eziphumelelayo azivumela ukuba zibe abantu abazethembayo. Kwenziwa kanjani?
• Misa amaphethini anempilo okuphila komndeni
Isakhiwo nokuvikeleka kuyizinsika ezibalulekile zokuzinza kwengqondo, kodwa zidlala indima ebaluleke nakakhulu ekuphileni kwentsha eqhubeka nokudinga imingcele ecacile neziqondiso ukuze ikhule futhi ifunde ukuzinakekela njengabantu abadala. Ngenxa yalesi sizathu, impilo yengqondo iqala ngokuphila komndeni okuhlelekile okusekelwe emikhubeni enempilo.
Zama ukwenza wonke umuntu ekhaya adle ukudla okunempilo nokunomsoco, ubeke kuqala imikhuba emihle yokulala, futhi usungule isimiso sokulala nokunqamula ubuchwepheshe esiza wonke umuntu ukuba aphumule futhi agcwalise amandla. Le mikhuba izosiza ukuletha ukuhleleka nokulinganisela empilweni yengane yakho futhi izosekela inhlalakahle yabo engokwengqondo.
• Chithani isikhathi sekhwalithi ndawonye
Isikhathi sokuthomba yisikhathi sokufuna nokuqinisekisa kabusha, ngakho kuvamile ukuba ingane yakho ifune ukuchitha isikhathi esengeziwe neqembu labo labangane noma iyodwa. Njengomzali, udinga ukuhlonipha indawo yakhe futhi umnikeze inkululeko ethile yokuthola nokuhlola umhlaba, kodwa futhi kudingeka uqiniseke ukuthi isikhathi enisichitha ndawonye siyikhwalithi enhle.
Ukuthola uthando olufanayo nokwabelana ngalo kuzoba yithuba lokuba ndawonye ngaphandle kwengcindezi, ukuze nje nijabulele ukuba ndawonye futhi nazane kangcono. Lezi zinhlobo zokuzizwisa ziphinde zidale izindawo eziphephile namathuba amasha okuthi ingane yakho ivuleke futhi yabelane ngezinkinga zayo nezinkathazo nawe.
• Mkhuthaze ukuba aveze imizwa yakhe
Lapho abazali besiza intsha ukuba ivume futhi iveze imizwa yayo, baqinisa ingqondo yayo. Ngakho-ke, kufanele uthole izindlela zokuxhumana nengane yakho. Ungamcela ukuthi akusize ekulungiseni isidlo sakusihlwa noma akusize ensimini ukuze nixoxe ndawonye. Thatha ithuba umbuze ukuthi luhambe kanjani usuku lwakhe nokuthi wenzeni.
Uma umbona edabukile, ekhungathekile, noma ekhathazekile, mbuze ukuthi kwenzekeni kuye futhi umsize abhekane naleyo mizwa. Kubalulekile ukuthi ingane yakho iqonde ukuthi asikho isidingo sokubalekela imizwa engemihle nokuthi isisombululo akukhona ngisho ukuyiziba, kodwa ukufunda ukuyilawula. Imisebenzi efana nokudweba, ukuvocavoca umzimba, ukugcina ijenali, noma ukukhuluma ngokwenzeka kuye kuyizindlela eziphumelela kakhulu zokukhulula ukungezwani futhi bathole umbono omusha ngezinkinga.
• Guqula ikhaya lakho libe yindawo ephephile engenakwahlulela
Esinye sezihluthulelo zokuthuthukisa ukukhulumisana ngokukhululekile ukukhululeka ekwahluleleni. Ingane yakho kufanele yazi ukuthi uyayithanda ngaphandle kwemibandela futhi uyohlale uyisekela. Kudingeka abe nomuzwa wokuthi abazali bakhe bawukusekelwa okuqinile angathembela kukho lapho izinto zingahambi kahle.
Ukufeza lokhu, kubalulekile ukuzijayeza ukuqinisekiswa ngokomzwelo; okungukuthi, ukugwema ukuthambekela ekunciphiseni imizwa yakhe, ukwesaba, noma ukukhungatheka. Ingane yakho kufanele ibe nomuzwa wokuthi ingakhuluma nawe nganoma yiluphi udaba oluyithintayo noma icele iseluleko sakho, yazi ukuthi ngeke uyihlulele. Lokhu akusho ukuthi kufanele uvumelane nayo yonke into, kodwa ukuthi uzothatha isimo esinozwela nokuqonda ukuze ukhulume nesihloko ngendlela evuthiwe, ngaphandle kokuklabalasa noma ukugxeka phakathi.
• Mfundise ukusebenzisa ubuchwepheshe ngokuhlakanipha
Cishe akunakwenzeka ukulindela ukuthi ingane yakho iphile ngaphandle kobuchwepheshe, kodwa ibeka usongo olukhulu empilweni yengqondo yentsha, ngakho kudingeka ifunde ukuthi ingayisebenzisa kanjani ngendlela efanele kuyilapho izivikela ezingozini ezibangelwayo. Misa izikhathi ezinqanyuliwe ekhaya futhi uhlele imisebenzi engenabuchwepheshe ukuze ingane yakho iqonde ukuthi kunomhlaba omuhle ngale kwezikrini.
Kubalulekile ukuthi umchazele ukuthi yonke into ayenzayo ku-inthanethi izoba nemiphumela, evame ukudlulela empilweni yangempela, nokuthi kufanele aqaphele ukuthi uthumela ini ngoba kuzoba nzima ukuyisusa kunethiwekhi. Futhi mfundise ukusebenzisa izihlungi zobumfihlo, akhulume nezihloko ezifana nobuxhwanguxhwangu base-inthanethi, ukuthumela imiyalezo ngocansi nokuzilungisa futhi umsize ahlukanise ukuzethemba kwakhe kanye nenani lakhe njengomuntu enanini "lokuthandwa" noma ukubukwa angakuthola ezinkundleni zokuxhumana .
• Thuthukisa ukuzethemba okuqinile
Cishe isipho esikhulu kunazo zonke ongasinika ingane yakho ukuyisiza yakhe ukuzethemba, ikakhulukazi esigabeni sokuphila lapho imizwa ngabo incike kakhulu ekwamukelweni kweqembu nasekudumeni ezinkundleni zokuxhumana.
Ungamane uyithethise ingane yakho uma yenza into embi, mncome nangokuziphatha kwayo okuhle. Ukuze lokho kudumisa kube umanyolo wokuzethemba, gxila kakhulu emizamweni kunomphumela. Khona-ke ingane yakho izoqonda ukuthi inenani elingaphakathi. Ukumfaka ezinqumweni ezibalulekile zomndeni nakho kuzomenza azizwe ezwiwa futhi aziswa, kumnike ukuzethemba kokusebenzisa izwi lakhe nokuvikela amalungelo akhe kwezinye izimo ezingaphandle kwekhaya.
• Ukuxazulula izingxabano ndawonye
Ebudlelwaneni nengane esemusha, abazali kufanele bazilungiselele ukubhekana nokungezwani, izingxabano kanye nokubanga amandla okuzovela. Khumbula ukuthi nawe usudlule kuleyo minyaka, ngakho-ke kungcono uthembeke futhi uphumele obala ngengane yakho. Mlalele ngomoya ophansi futhi uzwelane nezidingo zakhe ezintsha, ngisho noma lokho akusho ukuthi kufanele uvume.
Kunoma ikuphi, gwema umbango wamandla ngokumodela ukuxhumana okunenhlonipho ngaphandle kokuzama ukulawula ukusabela kwakhe noma umbono wakhe. Osemusha akuvamile ukuba avume ububi lapho ecasukile, ngakho kungcono kakhulu ukukhuluma lapho isimo sesehlile. Zama ukuthola izixazululo ze-win-win futhi, uma kunesidingo, ufinyelele ekuvumelaneni lapho ingane yakho yamukela izimo ezithile nezibopho ukuze ithole ukuzimela okwengeziwe.
• Yiba isibonelo sokuphatha imizwa
Ukunakekela impilo yengqondo yentsha kusho ukuyifundisa ukulawula imizwa engemihle. Lokhu kusho ukuthi abazali kufanele futhi bathathe uhambo lokufunda ngokomzwelo olubaholela ekubeni bagweme ukulwa lapho bethukuthele kakhulu noma babe nozwela nokuqonda okwengeziwe ezimweni lapho ngokuvamile bengethuka khona noma bathukuthele.
Ukwabelana ngemizwa yakho nengane yakho nakho kuyoba kuhle kuyo. Uma ucindezelekile, bazise. Akukona ukumehlula ngezinkinga zakho, kodwa ukumenza aqonde ukuthi sonke sinobunzima. Lapho ingane yakho ibona ukuthi ulawula kanjani le mizwelo eyinkimbinkimbi, uzoqonda ukuthi akudingekile ukubaleka le mizwa, kodwa ukufunda ukuyilawula, ngaleyo ndlela unciphise ingozi yokuzilimaza noma ukuhlupheka ngenxa yokukhathazeka noma ukucindezeleka.
• Mboza umhlane
Ngisho noma wenza konke okusemandleni akho ukuze unakekele impilo yengqondo yengane yakho futhi uyivikele, ziningi izimo ongeke ukwazi ukuzilawula. Ubusha yisigaba sokuba sengozini enkulu, izimo eziningi zingashiya uphawu olujulile lwengqondo oluholela ekulimaleni noma ekuphazamisekeni kwengqondo.
Njengomzali, kubalulekile ukuthi ungakuyeki ukuqapha futhi ufune usizo kudokotela wezengqondo noma udokotela wengqondo ngokushesha nje lapho ubona izimpawu zokuqala eziyisixwayiso. Khumbula ukuthi ukuthola ukwelashwa ngesikhathi kubalulekile ukuze uvimbele ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo ukuthi kungabi kubi kakhulu.
Imithombo
(2021) Isimemezelo se-AAP-AACAP-CHA Sesimo Esiphuthumayo Sikazwelonke Empilweni Yengqondo Yengane Nentsha. Ku: I-American Academic of Pediatrics.
(2022) I-Fundación ANAR yethula ku-Estudio sobre Conducta Suicida y Salud Mental en la Infancia y la Adolescencia en España (2012-2022). Ku: Fundación ANAR.
(2022) Lo bhubhane udale ukwanda okungama-47% kwezinkinga zempilo yengqondo ezinganeni. Ku: Inhlangano yaseSpain Yezingane.
Kessler, RC et. Al. (2005) Ukusabalala kwempilo yonke kanye nokusatshalaliswa kweminyaka yobudala kwezinkinga ze-DSM-IV ku-National Comorbidity Survey Replication. Arch Gen Psychiatry; 62(6):593-602 .
Umnyango Bazali, ungayinakekela kanjani impilo yengqondo yentsha? yashicilelwa okokuqala ngo Ikhona lePsychology.
