Wonke umuntu unombono. Esimweni esibekezelayo, esizwelayo nesihlakaniphile, imibono ehlukene akufanele ibe yinkinga. Kunalokho, ayacebisa. Nokho, ezweni lapho abantu bematasa kakhulu, bethukuthele noma bekhungathekile, imibono iba umthombo wokungqubuzana futhi imibono engemihle ithatha indawo ukugxeka okwakhayo.
Ukuphawula okungekuhle kusinkwa sansuku zonke, esihlala sikhona empilweni yethu futhi sigcwele izinkundla zokuxhumana. Bangavela kokubili kubantu abaseduze nakubantu abangabazi ngokuphelele. Angase ahluke ngokuphelele ukuphawula noma ukugxeka okuyinhlamba.
Le abantu abane-hypersensitive, labo abathatha izinto ngokungathi sína ngokweqile noma abakuthola kunzima ukulawula izifiso zabo zakuqala bangase bakhungathekiswe ithonya elingokomzwelo lamazwi angakhi. Kulezi zimo, ukufunda ukuphendula kumazwana angemuhle ngaphandle kokucasuka kuba yikhono lokusinda.
Gwema ukuthelelana ngokomzwelo
Imizwa iyathathelana futhi engemihle njengentukuthelo noma ukudabuka ingaphezulu kakhulu. Ukudelela, ukukhahlaza nokuzikhukhumeza nakho kuyathelelana. Ucwaningo olwenziwa eNyuvesi yaseFlorida lwembula ukuthi lapho sibona noma siyizisulu zesigameko sokwedelela, amathuba okuba siziphatha ngendlela ebonisa indelelo kwabanye.
“Imikhuba engemihle esezingeni eliphansi njengokudelela ingase itheleleke. Lo mphumela ungenzeka ngesisekelo seziqephu eziyingqayizivele, noma ubani angaba umthwali wale mizwelo futhi, ngokusobala, lokhu kuphazamiseka kunemiphumela kubantu esizoxhumana nabo esikhathini esizayo ", baphetha abacwaningi.
Olunye ucwaningo olwenziwe e- eGeorgetown University uveze ukuthi ngisho nokuphawula kabi kabi kugcina kuphazamise ukusebenza kwethu. Abantu abaye babhekana nezimo ezinobutha baye baqaphela ukwehla ekusebenzeni kwabo emisebenzini yansuku zonke neyokudala.
Incazelo ilula: lapho siphathwa kabi noma ngokungafanele, ubuchopho bethu obungokomzwelo buthatha amandla futhi busivimbele ekucabangeni ngokucacile. Singakhathazeka ngokwenzekile futhi siqhubeke nokucabanga ngakho, okususa izinsiza zokucabanga ebesingazabela eminye, imisebenzi efaneleke kakhulu futhi eyanelisayo.
Ngakho-ke, umthetho wegolide wokuphendula ukuphawula okungekuhle ukugwema ukuthelelana ngokomzwelo. Uma omunye umuntu ekuthelela ngentukuthelo noma ukukhungatheka kwakhe, ukulethe enkundleni yakhe yokudlala. Enye indlela yokugwema ukutheleleka iwukuba ume kancane futhi uphefumule ngaphambi kokuphendula. Sidinga ukuthatha imizuzwana embalwa ukumisa umfutho wokuqala. Kumayelana nokufunda ukwenza esikhundleni sokusabela nje.
Lapho sisabela, sizivumela ukuba sisetshenziswe imibono nemizwelo yomkhulumeli wethu. Lapho sinquma ukuthi senze kanjani, sihlala silawula. Indlela elula yokuqasha eyodwa ibanga ngokwengqondo kulokho okwenzekayo ukuzama ukuthola imizwa umkhulumeli wethu ayivezayo. Lokhu kuvivinya kwengqondo, okumelwe sikwenze ngelukuluku, kuyosiguqula sibe isibukeli sangaphandle futhi kusisize sihlale sizolile.
Ukuphendula noma ukungaphenduli? Lona umbuzo
Umbuzo awuhlali njalo "ungayiphendula kanjani imibono engalungile?" kodwa kunalokho “kufanele yini siphendule kuzo zonke izinkulumo ezingezinhle?
Impendulo emfushane ithi CHA.
Kukhona ukuphawula okungafanelekile nje ukuzikhandla ngokomzwelo, umsebenzi wokuqonda, noma isikhathi esisithathayo ukuphendula. Lapho omunye engafuni ukuxoxisana kodwa emane egxeka noma ebeka umbono wakhe, akufaneleki ukuphendula imibono yakhe.
Futhi akufanele ukuphendula kumazwana angalungile uma singafuni ukutshala kulobo budlelwano. Ekugcineni, impendulo ngokuvamile ihilela ingxoxo, futhi kungase kube nezikhathi lapho singenasithakazelo ekubeni nengxoxo engeke isize ndawo.
Umqondo uwukuthi sizibuze ukuthi kuwufanele ngempela yini ukudela okunye okwethu ukuthula kwangaphakathi ukulwa leyo mpi. Kuzoba nezikhathi lapho kuzofaneleka khona, kwesinye isikhathi ngeke. Phela kuwukuhlakanipha ukwazi ukuthi yiziphi izimpi ezinenzuzo nezingafaneleki.
Ngezinye izikhathi, indlela engcono kakhulu yokuphendula imibono engalungile iwukukhombisa imingcele yethu, sikwenza kucace ukuthi ngeke sivumele noma ubani ukuba ephule imingcele yethu. amalungelo agomela noma ukusiphatha kabi. Isibonelo sempendulo kumazwana angemuhle yilesi: "Uyaphakamisa izwi uyadelela futhi uyangigxeka futhi angizimisele ukuphathwa kanje."
Futhi singaphendula ngendlela ecashile, ngombuzo oshintsha amandla futhi uphoqelele omunye ukuthi acabange kabusha akushoyo kanye nemiphumela yako. Singaphendula ngombuzo ogqamisa ukungabi nangqondo, inzondo noma ukungacunuli kwamazwi akhe. Ngokwesibonelo, ezinye izimpendulo zamazwana angemuhle ngendlela yombuzo zingase zibe: Ingabe uqaphele ukuthi amazwi akho angilimaza? o Uyaqonda ukuthi awukwazi ukugxeka into ongayazi?
Imithombo
Foulk, T. et. Al. (2016) Ukubamba ukudelela kufana nokubanjwa umkhuhlane: Imiphumela yokutheleleka yokuziphatha okungekuhle okunamandla aphansi. J Appl Psychol; 101 (1): 50-67.
I-Porath, CL & Erez, A. (2009) Akunakwa kodwa okungakathintwa: Ukudelela kunciphisa kanjani ukusebenza kwezibukeli emisebenzini evamile kanye nemisebenzi yokudala. Izinqubo Zokuziphatha kwenhlangano kanye nezinqubo Zesinqumo Somuntu; 109 (1), 29–44.
Umnyango Ungaphendula kanjani kumazwana angalungile ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa intukuthelo yakho? yashicilelwa okokuqala ngo Ikhona lePsychology.
