Unamandla, uhlala isikhathi eside futhi uyathandeka kunalokho okubizwa ngokuthi thanda ekuqaleni kokubona futhi weukukhanga ngokomzimba, nakanjani kukhonaukukhanga kwengqondo. Kungenzeka kanjani ukudala lokhu kuzwana phakathi kwabantu ababili ngokumane ngokusebenzisa i- inkhulumomphendvulwano kwembulwe ngokwengxenye, yize kungahle kube nokwehluka kuye ngamacala. Yinye into, nokho, eqinisekile: ukuheha nokuqonda kwengqondo kubalulekile ukukhulisa inhlansi ye-uthando lweqiniso nolweqiniso, okwaziwa yilezi amasiginali:
Ukuheha ngokomzimba vs ukuheha kwengqondo
“Amanye amadoda abona ubuhle kuwe obuzonyamalala ngokushesha kuneminyaka yabo. Kepha ngibona kuwe ubuhle obungabuni, nasekwindla kwezinsuku zakho lobo buhle abuyikwesaba ukubuka esibukweni, futhi bungacasulwa. Kuphela ngithanda kuwe okungabonwayo ».
Khalil Gibran
Iningi labantu liyayibona i-ukukhanga ngokomzimba. Kungukuqonda okwakhiwa phakathi kwabantu ababili kusuka kuphela bheka. Ucwaningo oluningi lwembule ukuthi ingqondo yethu ithatha cishe Imizuzwana engama-90 ukuqonda ukuthi ngubani esibhekene naye siyayithanda kusuka endaweni yokubuka yobuhle. Bonke labo "izimpawu" lokuthatheka kanyethanda ekuqaleni kokubona. Isukela ezimvemvane esiswini kuye ekugodleni nenhliziyo eshaya ngamandla. Kodwa-ke, manje sekuyaziwa ukuthi imizwa ingaba kanjani - futhi kaningi kakhulu - okwesikhashana kuphela. Ukuheha okuningi ngokomzimba kuyakwazi ukuzisungula ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka ukudlula.
Ukuheha kwengqondo, ngakolunye uhlangothi, akusho kuphela ukushintshana ngokubheka. Idalwe kufayela le- isigaba somzwelo nengqondo ngiyabonga, ngaphezu kwakho konke, ukuze inkhulumomphendvulwano. Ungacabangi ukuthi izihloko eziphathwe ekuqaleni ngabantu ababili abathola lolu hlobo lokukhanga empeleni zibucayi futhi zifuna ngenkani. Eqinisweni, lokhu kuxhumana kwengqondo kungadalwa ngendlela ethile ngokuthinta izingqikithi ezibonakala zingasho lutho, kodwa kunjalo othandekayo kulaba bobabili abakhulumayo. Ngokusobala, kukhona izandulela maqondana nezihloko kwabesilisa nabesifazane, kodwa okubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi bakhuluma kanjani ngakho.
Ngakho-ke, ukukhanga kwengqondo esinye sezisekelo ezibaluleke kakhulu ukwakha indaba yothando yangempela. Akushiyi ngaphandle leyo ebonakalayo, kunalokho. Imvamisa ngababili hlala ndawonye. Okungeke kuhlale, noma kunjalo, ukuheha ngokomzimba kukodwa: ngaphandle kokuqonda ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo akunakubakhona ngokuhamba kwesikhathi bese kunyamalala, njengalowo muhle wesikhashana uKhalil Gibran ukhulume ngaye kusilinganiso sakhe.
Izici zokuheha kwengqondo
Njengoba lokhu kuvumelana kungenakukhonjiswa "ngokusobala" njengokwenyama, ngoba akunandaba nengaphandle lalabo abathintekayo, kungokwemvelo ukubuza ukuthi lingabona kanjani. Ngenkathi ezinye izimpawu zokuheha kwengqondo zingashintsha kusuka kumuntu ziye komunye umuntu, kukhona okuqinisekile izici ezisobala kuyo yonke imibhangqwana ehlangabezana nakho.
1. Ukuheha kwengqondo kudlulela ngaphezu kokuba ngumphefumulo
Ukuheha kwengqondo kuvame ukudideka nalowo mqondo owaziwa ngokuthi "abalingani bomphefumulo". Emcabangweni ohlangene, abalingani bomphefumulo bangaba abantu ababili okuthi ngesiphetho noma ngabaphezulu bacishe babe ngumoya omiselwe ukuba ndawonye. Uthando lwabo luqondiswa kakhulu ukufana kwabo, uma bengalingani, ezicini eziningi zempilo.
Konke lokhu kwehlukanisa abalingani bomphefumulo bezingqondo ezithandana kakhulu nokuheha kwengqondo okwenzeka empeleni. Ubudlelwano obutholwe kulokhu kuhlangana yikhona ukukhetha okuvuthiwe hhayi izithelo zokudalelwa. Ngaphezu kwalokho, owesifazane nowesilisa abaxhunywe ngale ndlela abazizwa bekhethiwe, kodwa onkulunkulu abangane bokuhamba ngempilo yansuku zonke.
2. Ingxenye engokomzwelo ibalulekile
Akulungile ukukholelwa ukuthi ukukhanga kwengqondo kwenzeka kuphela ngokombono wengqondo. Ukufakazela lokhu kuqonda kudinga ukuthi kusebenze imizwa. Konke okuzwayo ngokwemizwa, kufaka phakathi ukuba sengozini nokungavikeleki, akusabisi ngoba uyazi ukuthi ngakolunye uhlangothi kukhona umuntu okwazi ukuqonda nokuqonda lesi sici esisondele kakhulu kithi.
3. Ukukhanga kwengqondo akusho ukufana
Njengoba nje kungafanele kudidaniswe nabalingani bomphefumulo, ngakho-ke, ukuzwa ukukhanga kwengqondo okuqinile akufani nokufana. Ngokusobala, kunezintshisekelo ezijwayelekile ngemuva kwabo futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, kunonkulunkulu izibambiso kanye nonkulunkulu izimiso okwabelwana ngazo. Kodwa-ke, lokhu akusho ukuthi labo ababambisene naye esikhathini esizayo bangamakhophi womunye nomunye. Phakathi kwazo kukhona ezinye umehluko kodwa, zivuselele ubudlelwano bazo nokuthi zabelane ngokusobala.
Ekuhehweni kwengqondo, iphuzu lokubuka kwabanye lihlala njalo yamukelwa futhi yaziswa, ngaphandle kokubukelwa phansi. Le nqubo ikhombisa ubudlelwano obunempilo - kungaba wuthando noma ubungani - ngoba kuphela ngenxa yokungezwani umbhangqwana ongakwazi ukukwenza ukukhula futhi of ukuceba, ukwamukela imibono emisha.
Ungakakha kanjani ukuheha kwengqondo phakathi kwabantu ababili
Ngaphandle kokungabaza, i-chemistry enamandla futhi nalezi zici ingumphumela owodwa ulwazi olunzulu. Noma kunjalo, kungenzeka beka izisekelo ukwakha okusalungiswa kokuqala kokuheha kwengqondo, okuzobe kulinywa futhi kuthuthukiswe ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
- Naka omunye umuntu ngokugcwele: lesi simiso sisebenza kubo bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane. Uma ufuna ukuthi athathe leso sinyathelo esengeziwe ngokuhambisana nomuntu othile, kuzodingeka ukhombise intshisekelo yakho esikhathini enisichitha ndawonye.
- Hlala ukhumbula ukubaluleka kokuxhumana ngamehlo: ukubheka emehlweni alabo abaphambi kwakho akusona nje isenzo esenzelwe "ukunqoba" othile, kodwa ukudala ukuqonda nokukubonisa ukuthi unentshisekelo ngobuqotho kumxhumanisi wakho.
- Ungazikhombisi ngalokho ongekho: njengoba kushiwo ngaphambili, ukukhanga kwengqondo nakho kunikeza ukuxhumana okungokomzwelo. Ngakho-ke, ungazenzeli uhlobo oluthile lwe-ego eguqukayo ezinsukwini zokuqala, kepha ungesabi ukuziveza usengozini. Ukuba sengozini kubathakazisa bobabili owesilisa nowesifazane ngoba kusho ukukhombisa umuntu ojule kakhulu ngaphandle kwamaski.
