Ukubaluleka kokulalela ngenkuthalo kukhulu kakhulu, kodwa ngokuxhamazela kwethu sikukhohliwe. Silalela singekho, ngakho amagama aba umsindo ongemuva esingaxhumani nawo ngokomzwelo. Noma senza i-ukulalela okuphendulayo, bese silalela ukuphikisa izingxabano zomkhulumeli wethu, siphendule ingxoxo ibe inkundla yempi.
Ngakho-ke sigwema ukulalela okuzwelayo futhi sinqamule amabhuloho ezingxoxo nokuqonda njengoba wonke umuntu eba nokuzithanda kakhulu emhlabeni wabo, esondla izinkolelo zakhe ngalokho afuna ukukuzwa ngoba akukhiqizi noma yikuphi ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo futhi akusho umzamo wokubeka. ngokwabo endaweni 'yomunye.
Amandla okwelapha okulalela
Sonke sizizwa sinesidingo sokulalelwa. Sinesidingo somhlaba wonke sokuxhunywa nokuba yingxenye. Kudingeka sixhumane nabanye ukuze sizizwe sigunyaziwe futhi samukelwe. Lapho lezi zidingo zingahlangatshezwana nazo, ingaphakathi lethu liphenduka isizinda sokungabaza, ukucasuka nokukhungatheka. Singazizwa sinqanyuliwe ngokujulile, sisodwa futhi singaqondwa kahle.
Ukulalela ngomdlandla kuyikhambi lokuzihlukanisa. Akukhona nje ukuqondana ukuthi lolu wuhlobo lokulalela olwaholela ekwelashweni ngokwengqondo. Ekuqaleni kwawo-1880 u-Josef Breuer welapha isiguli u-Anna O, icala lakhe lalizothonya umsebenzi kaSigmund Freud kamuva. Isiguli sabiza lokhu kwelashwa ngokuthi "ikhambi lokukhuluma".
Kusukela lapho, ukulalela okusebenzayo nokuzwelayo kube nendawo evelele kuPsychology, kodwa kufanele futhi kube ingqikithi yempilo yethu yansuku zonke. Lapho sima ukuze silalele umuntu futhi sinake amazwi akhe kuphela kodwa nemizwelo yakhe, singaxhuma ezingeni elijulile. Lokho kulalela kunamandla okwelapha.
Eqinisweni, noma ubani angalalela. Ukulalela ngenkuthalo nangokuzwela kungenye into. Kuyisimo sengqondo komunye, isimo sangaphakathi kumuntu ophambi kwakho. Kulokhu uCarl Rogers wayeqiniseka ngokubaluleka okukhulu kokulalela okukhuthele nokuzwelayo ekwelashweni kwengqondo futhi wayekholelwa ukuthi kwakuyimfihlo yamandla ako okuphulukisa. Uthe ukwelapha akubandakanyi ukunquma noma ukuqondisa impilo yomuntu, kodwa kunalokho ukuvuleleka, ukuzwelana, okuhambisanayo, nokungachemi ukwamukela ukwesaba, ukungazethembi, imizwa nezinkathazo zabo.
Ukubaluleka kokulalela okusebenzayo nokuzwelayo empilweni
“Uma ngicela ungilalele bese uqala ukungiluleka, awukakwenzi ebengikucelile.
Uma ngicela ungilalele bese uqala ukungitshela ukuthi kungani kungafanele ngizizwe ngale ndlela, awuyihloniphi imizwa yami.
Uma ngicela ukuthi ungilalele futhi uzizwa unesidingo sokwenza okuthile ukuxazulula inkinga yami, awuphenduli ezidingweni zami.
Ngilalele! Engikucelayo kuwe ukuthi ungilalele, hhayi ukuthi ukhulume noma wenze okuthile. Ngilalele nje. Iseluleko silula. Kodwa angikwazi.
Ngingase ngidangele noma ngisenkingeni, kodwa angilona ize. Uma ungenzela lokho mina ngokwami engangingakwenza engingakudingi, ufaka isandla kuphela ekungazethembini kwami.
Lapho wamukela nje ukuthi enginomuzwa wokuthi kungokwami, noma kungenangqondo, asikho isidingo sokuthi ngizame ukukwenza ukuqonde, kodwa ngiqale ngithole ukuthi yini engaphakathi kimina ", wabhala uR. O'Donnell ngo-1989.
Ukulalela okungahluleli, okuzwelayo kuvumela abantu ababili ukuthi baxhumane ngokulinganayo. Akusho nje ukuqonda umkhulumeli wethu, kodwa ukubuyisela imizwa yethu kuye. Kuwukulalela okwamukela nokwanga, nokwenza umuntu akhululeke futhi amukeleke, ukuze akwazi ukukhosela futhi akhule kuleso simo. Ngokulalela lowo muntu ngomzimba wethu wonke, ngokuba khona ngokugcwele, sakha isibopho futhi kukulokho kuhlobana lapho kwenzeka khona ushintsho.
Ngalokhu kulungiswa kabusha, lapho sibuyisela ukwamukelwa nokuqinisekiswa, senza lowo muntu azizwe ezwiwa, eqondwa futhi emukelwa. Kodwa-ke, umlingo wokulalela ngokuzimisela ukuthi usebenza ezinhlangothini ezimbili ngoba awukhuthazi nje kuphela ushintsho kumlaleli kodwa nakulowo olalele.
Lalela ngeqiniso uzwela kuhilela ukwehlisa izivikeli zethu. Sibonise ukuthi siyakwamukela futhi sikubeke eceleni ubandlululo lwethu. Lapho sibalalela ngempela abanye, singayiqonda kangcono imibono nemizwa yabo, okungasisiza sisuse imibono yethu engokwenkolo futhi kusivumele ukuba sisuse ukungabekezelelani nokuba lukhuni.
Ukulalela - ngempela - kusenza abantu. Kusivula ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo kwabanye. Kusenza siqonde futhi sibe nozwela. Futhi kusisiza ukuthi sidale umhlaba ongcono wawo wonke umuntu. Isinqumo, vele, sisezandleni zethu. Singaqhubeka nokuvala iminyango yezingxoxo noma singayivula sisuka endaweni evulekile, enozwela nengenakwahlulela.
Imithombo
UJackson, SW (1992) Umelaphi Olalelayo Emlandweni Wokuphulukisa Ngokwengqondo. Am J Psychiatry; 149 (12): 1623-1632.
O'Donnell, R. (1989) La escucha. E-Pangrazzi, A [ed], El mosaic de la misericordia, Sal Terrae, Santander.
Umnyango Sidinga ukuzwa okwengeziwe, kodwa ngempela futhi wonke umuntu yashicilelwa okokuqala ngo Ikhona lePsychology.
