“Awuzikhathazi ngalutho”
“Uminza engilazini yamanzi”
“Unehaba”
“Uyithatha ngokungathi sína”
Kungenzeka ukuthi izikhathi ezingaphezu kwesisodwa uke wezwa la mazwi noma uphume emlonyeni wakho. Ngezinye izikhathi le mishwana inomgomo wokusiza, ukukhuthaza umuntu ukuba abe namandla, kodwa ngokuvamile anomphumela ophambene njengoba efihla imbewuukungasebenzi ngokomzwelo.
Ukungavumeleki ngokomzwelo kwenzeka lapho othile enqaba, eziba, noma enqaba i imizwa nemizwelo womuntu. Ithumela umlayezo wokuthi lokho okuzwayo akufanelekile, akunandawo, noma akufanele ukucatshangelwa.
Eqinisweni, sonke singase sikhubaze ngezinye izikhathi, mhlawumbe ngenxa yokuthi simatasa kakhulu ngezinkinga zethu noma ngenxa yokuthi asazi ukuthi singabhekana kanjani nemizwelo eqine kakhulu esingaphezu kwamandla ethu. Inkinga yilapho ukungasebenzi ngokomzwelo kuba yiphethini eqhubekayo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kulokhu, kungaba uhlobo ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo lokho okudinga ukuhlonzwa ukuze kuqedwe ngokushesha.
Izinhlobo ezivame kakhulu zokungasebenzi kwemizwa ebudlelwaneni
1. Nciphisa izimo ezithintekayo
Indlela ejwayeleke kakhulu yokungasebenzi ngokomzwelo ukunciphisa imizwa, imizwa, nokukhathazeka kwabanye. Uma sibona othile edabukile, enganakiwe, edabukile noma ekhathazekile, esikhundleni sokuzama ukuzifaka ezicathulweni zakhe ukuze siqonde ukuthi kwenzekani kuye nokuthi uzizwa kanjani, simane sithi: “akulutho”, “akufanele ukhathazeke”, “angiboni ukuthi inkinga ikuphi” noma “wenza isiphepho enkomishini yetiye”.
Lezi zinkulumo zidlulisela umqondo wokuthi izinkinga zomunye azibalulekile kangako noma akufanele zicatshangelwe. Ngokuvamile, lolu hlobo lokungasebenzi ngokomzwelo luvame ukuzibonakalisa ngobuvila obulula ngoba kulula kakhulu ukunciphisa izimo ezithintekayo zabanye kunokwenza umzamo wengqondo odingekayo ukuze uzibeke endaweni yabo. Impela, umuntu “angaminza enkomishini yetiye,” kodwa ukunciphisa izinkinga zabo ngeke kumsize ukuthi ahlale emanzini.
2. Ukwenqatshwa ngokomzwelo
Ukwenqatshwa ngokomzwelo kungenye yezindlela ezivame kakhulu zokungavumelekile. Eqinisweni, kwenzeka kaningi ezinganeni. Uma sitshela izingane lokho "amadoda musani ukukhala", isibonelo, sivimbela imizwa ngemuva kokukhala. Kuyenzeka futhi uma sitshela umuntu "Ukhala ngalembudane?" noma “akufanele uzizwe ngale ndlela”.
Ukwenqatshwa ngokomzwelo kuvame ukubangelwa ukungakwazi kwethu ukulawula izimo zethu ezithintekayo nezabanye. Uma singakujabuleli ukuboniswa okungokomzwelo, siyoba nokuthambekela kokukulahla khona kanye ukuba khona kwazo. Ngempela, ukuhlupheka, ubuhlungu noma usizi lomunye ngokuvamile kubangela ukungakhululeki okukhulu kulabo abakubonayo, kangangokuthi izikhathi eziningi asikwazi ukucabanga enye indlela yokukhipha lowomuzwa ngaphandle kokuphikisa imizwa yomunye.
3. Ukwahlulela umuntu ngemizwa yakhe
Imizwa ikhona. Ziyimpendulo ezenzakalelayo ezimeni ezibalulekile. Ayikho imizwelo “emihle” noma “emibi,” kodwa ukubonakaliswa kwayo okunganele. Ukuze lokhu kwahlulele izimo ezithintekayo zomunye, ngemishwana efana “uzwela kakhulu”, “ungabi isilima, akumele usabele kanjalo” noma “ubuthakathaka kakhulu” ingenye yezinhlobo ezimbi kakhulu zokungasebenzi kwemizwa.
Ngale ndlela asimsizi omunye umuntu, kodwa sivame ukukhulisa ukungakhululeki kwakhe ngoba abazizwa beqondwa noma abasekelwa. Kunalokho, ubona ukuthi uyahlulelwa ngisho nokugxekwa ngendlela azizwa ngayo. Uma sizama ukuzifaka ezicathulweni zakhe, singase sikwazi ukuthola ukuthi unesizathu esingaphezu kokwanele sokukhathazeka, ukuthukuthela, ukudabuka noma ukukhungatheka. Imizwa ayikona ukubonakaliswa kobuthakathaka kodwa kobuntu.
4. Ukushintsha umuzwa wemizwa
Enye yezinhlobo ezicashile zokungavumeleki ngokomzwelo ukwenza umuntu akholelwe ukuthi akazizwa lokho abhekana nakho ngempela. Kuvamile lapho imizwa evezwayo ihlukaniswa ngokuthi "emibi" futhi ingamukeleki emphakathini. Izinkulumo like "Awunantukuthelo, ucasukile nje" ziphazamisa umzwelo wokuqala, zehlise ukushuba kwawo.
Ngisho imishwana efana "woza ungadabuki zidonsele phezulu qina" bafihla umzamo wokwenza ungasebenzi, njengoba umuntu ezama ukuguqula lokho akuzwayo ngomzwelo owamukelekayo. Impela, kunezimo lapho kudingeka silawule khona imizwa yethu futhi siqhubekele phambili ukuze sisebenze ngokuguquguqukayo, kodwa lapho imizwa isikhukhumeza, ukuzama ukuyicindezela ngokufaka enye esikhundleni sayo kuholela ekucindezelekeni okwengeziwe nakakhulu.
5. Ukwenqaba ilungelo lokuzwa
Kulokhu akukho mzamo wokunciphisa umzwelo, kodwa unqatshelwe ngokuqondile. Isisho "Awunalo ilungelo lokuzizwa kanjalo" kuwumfanekiso walolu hlobo lokuqinisekisa ngokomzwelo ngoba kwenza kucace kumuntu ukuthi ukusabela kwakhe akwamukeleki nhlobo. Ngisho imishwana efana “Bekungaba kubi kakhulu”, “akulutho” noma “ukube ubuwazi lokho engidlule kukho” basikisela ukwenqaba okumbozwe kakhudlwana kwalowo mzwelo.
Umlayezo oyisisekelo otholwa ngumuntu owokuthi akufanele azizwe ngendlela ethile ngoba akanalo ilungelo, umqondo ongadluliseli nje ukudelela kodwa nobugovu nokuphakama. Khulumani ngokungangabazeki ukuthi okuhlangenwe nakho okungokomzwelo kwalowo muntu akuvumelekile ngoba omunye umuntu uthathe igunya lokunquma ukuthi kufanele azizwe kanjani.
Ukungasebenzi ngokomzwelo, ngezindlela zakho ezihlukahlukene, kugcina kwenza omunye azizwe eyedwa, engaqondakali, engabonakali futhi emncane. Lapho silulaza, silulaza noma siphika imizwa yabanye, sisuke sinomthelela ekukhuleni kwabo. Leyo mizwa izohlala ithola indlela yokuziveza futhi ngokuvamile izophuma ngendlela embi kakhulu, ngokusebenzisa ukuhlangana noma ukuqhuma kwemizwelo.
Ngokuyisisekelo, lolu hlobo lwenkulumo luwumzamo wokuqondisa kabusha umuntu ezifundeni ezithintekayo okulula ukuthi sizilawule. Inkinga iwukuthi ngokuvamile ziqala ekuphikisweni kwesimo sokuqala, zenza lokho lowo muntu akuzwayo kungabi semthethweni. Ngalesi sizathu kubalulekile ukuthi sifunde ukukhululeka kakhulu ngezinkulumo ezithinta imizwa, ikakhulukazi lezo esizihlukanisa ngokuthi "ezimbi".
Lokhu akusho ukuthi akufanele sizame ukududuza abanye noma ukuthi ngeke sisasho lutho, kodwa kufanele sicabange ngaphambi kokuba sikhulume futhi sikwenze ngozwela olujulile, siqiniseke ukuthi sishukunyiswa isifiso sangempela sokusiza omunye. .
Lapho sizibeka othandweni, siyeka ukwahlulela, ukunciphisa noma ukucindezela imizwa yabanye futhi, esikhundleni sokubanikeza iseluleko esingacelwanga, sibanikeza ihlombe elinobungane futhi simane sithi: "Ngiyabona ukuthi uyagula, ngingakusiza ngani?"
Umnyango Izinhlobo ezi-5 zokungasebenzi kwemizwa ezenza umonakalo omkhulu yashicilelwa okokuqala ngo Ikhona lePsychology.
