Amehlo e-narcissist
Ukuba amehlo ayisipili somphefumlo, kweli nqaku siza kujongana nesipili esiqhekekileyo.
Ukubuyela kulowo uyi-narcissist ye-pathological kunye nento akwaziyo ukuyenza, siya kumkhumbula ngokufutshane ekrwela imiba ephambili.
Sithetha nge-narcissism yezifo xa sidibene nabantu abaphazamisekileyo abangamadoda okanye ababhinqileyo, njengophawu lwabo oluphambili lokuba ngabantu abangenalo uvelwano kwabanye, enyanisweni babona abanye njengezinto nje ezilula nabazisebenzisayo. bafezekise iinjongo zabo.
Ukufikelela kubo, i oonokresa basebenzisa nayiphi na indlela kwaye abanasikhalazo okanye ukungqubana malunga nendlela yokwandisa nokunyusa imbonakalo yabo abayibona ngendlela egqwethekileyo, eguqulweyo nenobungangamsha, bezinika ilungelo lokuzikhohlisa ukuze bakwazi ukulawula ngokupheleleyo abanye abantu.
Iindawo abanokufumana kuzo uninzi lokutya okubalulekileyo zezi zinxulumene nobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu ezimele indawo entle yokuzingela rhoqo yabantu ababuthathaka zihlala zinotyekelo lokuzithemba okuphantsi okanye abo banexesha elinzima ebomini abakuyo ngakumbi abasesichengeni.
Ezi ziimeko ezintle ze oonokresa ukuba, njengezilwanyana ezingayekiyo, bayakwazi ukujoja nokuchonga la maxhoba naphina apho bakhoyo, kwaye kwangoko xa ithuba elilungileyo lizivelisa ukuba lixhoba.
I oonokresa bathatha ithuba kwaye bafunda iindawo ezifanelekileyo ukuze bathande ubuchule babo bokutya, umzekelo njengeedisko, iikonsathi, amaqela, izikwere, amaziko okuthenga, kwaye ngeli xesha likaxakeka kwezempilo kwi-covid-19, apho siba namaxesha okuba sisizungu ngenxa yokuzahlula Ukunyanzeliswa nokutshintsha kwezinto, kulula kakhulu kubo ukuba bafumane inani elikhulu lamaxhoba afumanekayo kwiwebhu ngakumbi besebenzisa uthungelwano lwasentlalweni apho bafihlwe khona kwaye bazifihle ngasemva komfanekiso wamatakane alungileyo nabasindisi ngelixa inyani ikukuba singene Ingcuka eqwengayo.
Nokuba kwenzeka njani, phi okanye nini, zizisulu zokwenyani zihlala zilumkile kwaye zizingela amaxhoba amatsha ngakumbi naxa sele zibambe abanye, ezi narcissists azidinwa.
Ngoomatshini abangayekeleliyo nabagqibeleleyo njengookrebe abakwaziyo ukufumana ixhoba ngokunuka igazi lalo nokuba likude ngeekhilomitha.
Obu buchule bukhethekileyo bababeka phakathi kweendidi zezifo zengqondo yengqondo yanamhlanje, njengabantu abanengxaki yokuphazamiseka kubuntu.
Ezi ngxaki zinokuba kumanqanaba ngamanqanaba ahlukeneyo nangaphantsi kuxhomekeke kubukrakra, ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba loluntu kunye neengqondo zengqondo ezinje ngeeprofayili zokubulala.
Kodwa zeziphi izakhono zokuqala ezisetyenzisiweyo ngaba bantu baphazamisekileyo ukubamba ixhoba abalichongileyo kwaye abalisebenzisayo kwimizuzu yokuqala yokusondela?
Siyazi ukuba amaxhoba aba bantu banezodwa "ezizodwa" kunye neempawu ezintle kwaye ngelishwa abo bangalunganga bachazwe apha ngasentla kwaye ngokubhekisele kwicala lokuba semngciphekweni.
Ezi zinto zikhethekileyo zenza ukuba ixhoba le-narcissist libe yinto enqwenelekayo nexabisekileyo. Umzekelo, ndikhangela abantu abanobuhle obuthile bobukrelekrele okanye ubukrelekrele obuphawuliweyo, uvelwano, ubuntununtunu kwaye ngaphezu kwako konke oko kusilela kwe-narcissist kwisiseko kwaye kumenza abe njalo: uvelwano. La ngamaxhoba afanelekileyo e-narcissist yezifo.
Ezi zinto zibalulekileyo kubalulekile ukuba zikhethwe yi-sociopath kwaye zibe yinxalenye yamadoda nabafazi (kuxhomekeke kumfazi we-narcissist okanye indoda) eyakongezwa kunye nezinye iindebe.
Imodeli esebenzayo kunye necwangcisiweyo yokunyusa i-ego yabo, umfanekiso wabo wobungangamsha obomeleza ngakumbi mihla le ngendlela abazakhela ngayo besebancinci ukuba bajongane kwaye bakhulelwe indlela yabo yobomi.
Ukubuyela kwesinye sezixhobo ezibulalayo kwezi zinto zinendalo ngokungathandabuzekiyo kukujonga kwabo.
Nje ukuba udibane ne- umhlobo ukusukela kwimizuzu yokuqala, ukusuka kwindlela yokuqala, indlela akujonga ngayo uyakuthakatha kwaye uyangena kodwa uhlala ehamba kunye neemvakalelo ezingachazekiyo zokungonwabi.
Amehlo e-narcissist
Inkangeleko yokuba, ukuba yamkelwe ngaphandle kokujonga, inokuba yenye yeendlela ezimbalwa zokuzikhusela nokuzikhusela kwimbandezelo enkulu umntu anokujamelana nayo ukuba ngelishwa umntu ewele kumnatha we-narcissist.
Amehlo akhe anika okomzuzu wokuqala isiphumo ngokungathi sesinye se-daze, umntu uziva ephantsi kweziphumo ngokungathi umntu ulaliswe ngomlingo, kungekudala siza kubhala malunga nenyani eyenzekileyo ngokubhekisele kwibali likagqirha wezifo zengqondo owasebenzisa ubuchule bokulalisa ngomlingo. yeminyaka yezigulana zakhe ezingazi nto zokuyisebenzisa kakubi.
Ngokukhawuleza nje ukuba udibane nobunye baba bantu, kulula ukuba uzive ungaqhelekanga kwaye uphazamise iimvakalelo ngaphakathi kwakho, zikhatshwa yingqele ebandayo enyuka umqolo.
Ukungonwabi okungaqhelekanga kunye nokungathandeki kodwa ngelishwa ngaphandle kwale miqondiso ivakalayo, umntu utsala umdla kolo jongo lungaqhelekanga oluza kuthi ngelixa i-narcissist ichaza ukuba iyathetha nathi ngaye kwaye ihamba ngendlela enkulu.
Amehlo angenanto kwaye engenamphefumlo, athe ntsho kuthi kodwa angaqondi ukuba singoobani kunye nendlela umntu onomdla kuthi angayenza ngayo, benza ukunyanzela ubukhosi babo ngaphakathi komphefumlo wethu onzulu, bayayazi indlela yokukhawuleza ukufumanisa amanqaku abuthathaka wexhoba kwaye basebenzise ngaphandle kokuchitha ixesha, ngalo mzuzu amandla obuthongo obubi obukhohlakeleyo asebenze.
Umzuzu oza kulandela inkcazo yabo yoloyiso uya kuba ngowona ubalulekileyo ekubambiseni ixhoba, ukuba ungonyuliweyo okanye onyuliweyo ngumnxibelelanisi uya kuqonda ukuba kwimizuzu yokuqala yokunxibelelana uyakufumana izincomo kwaye ujolise indumiso, uyakuva yonke into ekwenza ube lolona lonwabo kwaye oko kuya kunika ioksijini kukuzithemba okuphantsi, ngelishwa eli nqanaba libizwa ngokuba "yibhombu yothando" liza kuhlala lincinci, enyanisweni uyakuqonda kwangoko ukuba ngoncumo olungenalwazi kwaye uhlala ngamehlo athe ntsho emehlweni akho, uya kuqwalaselwa, isindululo okanye enye into malunga nento ayibonileyo ingalunganga okanye imbi ngawe, etshabalalisa kwaye ebuyisa ezo zincomo ebekunike zona umzuzwana ngaphambi kokuba akubambe. , kodwa awuyi kuba nakho ukuyichasa kuba le mvakalelo ingathandekiyo iza kuza kuwe njengengozi yobuntu obungenamsebenzi ukuze uthetheleleke ngaphandle kokukunika ubunzima obukhulu.
Olu luphawu lokuba uwele kumgibe wakhe kwaye udibene nobubi, obakho okanye obakho wenarcissist.
Ezo mvakalelo zingathandekiyo kunye nokungonwabi esikuvayo yayilikhondo lethu elasicebisa ukuba sibaleke kwangoko ngaphandle kokujonga ngasemva, kukuzikhusela kwethu okusilumkisa ngengozi enkulu kwaye singayimamelanga iyakuba yimpazamo enkulu. Okukhona uqhubeka ukuthakathwa ngamehlo womntu obhala into ekuthiwa yi-narcissist kokukhona uya kuwela kwilimbo lakhe ngaphandle kokubuya, iziphumo ziya kuba zintle, emnatheni uya kufumana izinto ezininzi ezinobungqina obubi obunokunceda ukunqanda ukubaleka ujonge bubi.
NguLoris Valentine
