Ubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu bubugcisa obuntsonkothileyo obubandakanya ukulungelelanisa ukunika kunye nokwamkela. Sinika uthando. Siyalalanisa. Siyazincama. Sityala ixesha lethu. Saziveza iimvakalelo zethu. Sizama. Kwaye sinethemba lokufumana okufanayo ekubuyiseni.
Olu lindelo lokuphindaphinda lusekwe ngokusisiseko kwinkolelo kuhlobo lobulungisa kwindalo yonke. Siyakholelwa ukuba, kungekudala okanye kamva, yonke into esiyinikileyo iya kubuyiselwa kuthi. Siqinisekile ukuba indalo iphela igcina uhlobo loovimba apho kugcinwa khona imisebenzi yethu elungileyo kwaye, kungekudala okanye kamva, iya kukhathalela ukuyibuyisela kuthi.
Kodwa i-transactional mindset iya kukhokelela kukukhathazeka kunye nokudana kuba ubomi abunabulungisaIndalo iphela ayigcini irekhodi kwaye abantu abasoloko besibuyisela oko sibapha kona.
Imigaqo esisiseko yengqondo yentengiselwano
Abantu abaninzi ngokungazi bakhula ngengqondo yentengiselwano. Olu hlobo lwengqondo lusekwe kwimigaqo emibini esisiseko:
1. Vavanya intengiselwano ngokuchasene nolwalamano. Umntu onengqondo wentengiselwano ugxila ngakumbi kwinto abaya kuyifumana kunoko kulwalamano abalakhayo. Unika uthando kuba elindele ukufumana uthando. Unceda omnye kuba elindele ukuba omnye amncede. Usebenza nzima kuba enethemba lokuba abayi kumshiya yedwa. Guqula ubudlelwane bube luhlobo lwe "akhawunti yotyalo-mali" apho ebeka khona kuphela ingqalelo, inkathalo kunye nexesha kuba elindele ukufumana imbuyekezo efanayo ngokufanayo.
2. Beka kuqala iimfuno zakho kwezabanye. Nangona abantu abanengqondo yentengiselwano banokubonakala ngathi bayacekiseka, bazinikele kwaye abazideli, eyona njongo yabo iphambili "yeyorhwebo". Benza ubudlelwane benethemba lokuba abanye baya kuhlangabezana neemfuno zabo kwaye, ukuba kunyanzelekile, bathathe isihlalo esingasemva ukubanika kuqala. Indlela yabo yokwenza izinto icacile kuba bazama ukusebenzisa abanye njengeziqwenga zechess abanokuhamba ngazo ngendlela abafuna ngayo.
Aba bantu bakholelwa ukuba ukunceda kunye nothando luhlobo lokujonga okungenanto abanye kufuneka bazimisele ukuhlawula ngalo naliphi na ixesha. Ingqondo yabo yentengiselwano ibathintela ekuqondeni ukuba uncedo kunye nothando azithethi ngeetshipsi kwaye banikwa ngaphandle kokucela okanye ukulindela nantoni na ukuba ibuye.
Umgibe wengqondo yentengiselwano
Eyona ngxaki iphambili kwintengiselwano yengqondo kukuba umntu ongaphantsi kobudlelwane nezibonelelo anokuzifumana. Jonga ubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu njengotshintshiselwano onokuthi uzuze kulo, ngesiqhelo ngokweemvakalelo. Nangona kunjalo, akunakulindeleka ukuba aziqonde iinjongo zakhe zangasemva njengoko imeko yengqondo igxile kangangokuba ukholelwa ukuba yinto eqhelekileyo kwaye iyaxelwa kwangaphambili.
Ngokwenyani ngabantu abangakwaziyo ukwanelisa iimfuno zabo kwaye bazame ukubanelisa abanye. Babuthiyile ubulolo kwaye bakhangela umntu oza kubagcina kunye. Abathandani ngokwaneleyo kwaye bafuna umntu obathandayo. Abayithatheli ingqalelo into yokuba omnye naye unezinto eziphambili kuye, iimfuno zakhe kunye neenjongo zakhe ebomini, ezingasoloko zingqamana nezakhe.
Ekuhambeni kwexesha, ukuthengiselana kwengqondo kuthambekele ekwenzeni ukuba aba bantu bafune kakhulu. Baziingcali ekwenzeni abanye bazive bengalunganga ukuba abayifumani into abayifunayo ngokubhenela kwiindlela ezahlukeneyo zokunyanzelisa.
Ngapha koko, ukunxibelelana nomntu onolu hlobo lwengqondo kunokudideka kwaye kuphazamise. Ithuku lethu linokusenza singabuthembi ububele, ukuzinikela kunye nokuzincama. Nangona kunjalo, le nto yokungathembani inokusenza sizive sinetyala, ngokungathi asinambulelo, emva kwayo "yonke into abasenzele yona".
Ngokwenyani, kwenzeka ntoni kukuba aba bantu "basibambe" kwiminatha yabo. Nangona singasoloko siyiqonda ngokupheleleyo loo nto, ngandlela ithile siyaziva ukuba senza isivumelwano namatyala obudlelane ekuya kufuneka sihlawule kakhulu ngawo.
Sukulindela ukufumana oko ukunikelayo, nika oko ukuko
Enye into enokubakho kwitransekshini yengqondo kukuhlakulela isimo sengqondo esinovakalelo. Xa sithatha isimo sengqondo esinobuthathaka siyakwazi ukuzibeka ezicathulweni zomnye, endaweni yokuthatha isikhundla sokuma. Siyayeka ukubopha abanye ngamatyala obudlelwane ukuze sitshintshe izinto esizithandayo. Siyaqonda ukuba akukho mntu unetyala kuthi.
Siqala ukuqonda ukuba ngelixa singafumani yonke into esiyinikayo, sinika into esiyiyo, kwaye yeyona nto ibalulekileyo. Ke masiyeke ukukhangela uthando kwaye sinike uthando. Siyeka ukukhangela inkampani kwaye sibonelela ngenkampani. Siyeka ukukhangela inkxaso kwaye sinika inkxaso.
Ingqondo ebuthathaka inceda enye kuba eso senzo siyenza ukuba izive ilungile, hayi kuba ilindele ukufumana into njengembuyekezo. Masiyeke "ukuthengisa" ubudlelwane kunye nokubala okuhle. Emva koko sinokubhiyozela njengesipho esihle sonke isenzo sothando, onke amadini amancinci kunye nakho konke ukuzibophelela ekubuyiselweni.
Umnyango Phuma kwingqondo yentengiselwano: sukulindela ukufumana into oyinikayo, unike into oyiyo yaqala ukupapashwa ngo Ikhonkco lePsychology.
