Palibe choipa kuposa kudziletsa wekha monga munthu. Munthu amene amadziimitsa yekha amakhulupirira kuti sioyenera chikondi ndi ulemu chifukwa samadzipatsa yekha chikondi ndi ulemu zomwe amafunikira. Sakhulupirira maluso ake.
Munthu amene amadziletsa amadzicepetsa, amakhulupirira kuti alibe chilichonse choti angapatse ena kapena kudziko lapansi. Alibe mphamvu zomenyera yekha chifukwa adadzipereka msanga. Akuganiza kuti siwofunika kwenikweni.
Munthu amene amaletsa sangathe kunena zawo ufulu wotsimikizira, kotero amamaliza kukodwa mu maubale kudalira kwamalingaliro momwe amagwiritsidwira ntchito kapena kuzunzidwa. Ndikudzidalira kofooka kwambiri komanso wotsutsa wankhanza wamkati, munthu ameneyo sangakhale moyo wathunthu wokhutira ndi zomwe ali nazo.
Chiyambi cha wosatsutsa wamkati wamunthu yemwe wachotsedwa
Munthu amene amadziletsa amadzidalira. Kudzidalira kumawonetsera momwe timadzikondera ndi kudziona kuti ndife amtengo wapatali. Komabe, si mapangidwe osasintha, koma amatha kusinthasintha pamoyo wonse komanso tsiku lonse. Tikachita bwino timamva kuti tingathe kuchita chilichonse, tikalakwitsa timadziona ngati opanda ntchito.
Kudzidalira kwathu kumasintha chifukwa momwe timadzionera tokha zimatengera momwe zinthu zilili ndi magwiridwe athu. Kudzidalira kumadalira kwakukulu pamachitidwe athu wotsutsa wamkati amaganiza kugonjetsedwa ndi zolephera. Kwa anthu ena liwu lamkati limakhala ngati lolimbikitsa lomwe limawathandiza kukhalabe odzidalira ngakhale atalakwitsa, pomwe ena amakhala ngati wotsutsa mwankhanza yemwe amawaphimba ndi kuwakalipira ndi kuwanyoza.
Mawu ovuta amkati ndi njira yolumikizana komanso yolumikizana kwa ife eni ndi ena. Wotsutsa wamkatiyu amayamba kuwoneka m'moyo wathu wachinyamata. M'malo mwake, zimatha kukhudza chizindikiritso chathu. Monga momwe zokumana nazo zachikondi, kutentha ndi chitetezo zimathandizira kukulitsa chithunzithunzi chathu; zokumana nazo zoyipa pakudzudzulidwa, kulangidwa, ndikudzudzulidwa zimalimbikitsa wosatsutsika wamkati.
Mtundu woganiza wovutawu ndikuyesera kumvetsetsa zopweteketsa zomwe tidakumana nazo, zovuta zathu zolephera. Kuchokera pazobwerera m'mbuyo izi timapeza zomwe tili, kuchuluka kwathu komanso momwe ena amationera. Munthu amene amadziimitsa yekha amaganiza kuti cholakwacho ndi chake, mosasamala kanthu zazomwe zikuchitika. Chifukwa chake, amakhala ndi malingaliro osaganizira ena komanso odzidalira omwe amadzipeputsa.
Chodabwitsa ndichakuti malingaliro ambiri ovuta omwe timaganiza amachokera pamalingaliro olakwika omwe makolo athu, aphunzitsi athu ndi / kapena olamulira, komanso chifukwa chakuyimbirana mlandu ndi abale kapena anzawo. Makolo onyoza angatipangitse kukhala omtopetsa ndipo osadziwa momwe tingachitire chilichonse, pomwe makolo osuliza mopitilira muyeso angatipangitse kudzimva opanda ungwiro ndikutipangitsa kuganiza kuti palibe chomwe tingachite chomwe chingakhale chokwanira.
Tikamakula, malingalirowa amakhalabe m'malingaliro athu, ndikupanga kutsutsa kwathu kwamkati. Timayambitsa nkhani zopanda chiyembekezo komanso zofooketsa za ena, poganiza kuti ndi zathu. M'malo mwake, zikuwoneka kuti mawu ambiri omwe timabwereza tokha tikadandaula za cholakwika kapena kulephera si athu, koma amachokera kuubwana wathu kapena unyamata.
Wotsutsa wamkati wankhanza nthawi zambiri amakhala kudzikundikira kwa kuwunika koyipa komwe talandira m'moyo wathu. Kuvomereza kuyankhula koizoni ndikuganiza kuti ndizowona kumatha kupangitsa kuti wina adziwononga monga munthu.
Msampha wa wotsutsa wamkati: bwalo lokayikira lazikaiko ndi kusatetezeka
Munthu amene amadziletsa amadzipatsa mphamvu pakudzudzula kwamkati. Nthawi iliyonse pamene mawu ovutawo atsegulidwa amadzutsa kukayikira, amaponya mivi yakupha, ndikupanga mayeso owopsa omwe angagwedeze kudzidalira kwamphamvu kwambiri.
Mwachitsanzo, munthu wopupuluma akadziyang'ana pagalasi asanatuluke mnyumbamo, wotsutsa wamkati angawauze kuti: "Ukuwoneka woipa, wavala bwanji!?" Asanatumize projekiti adzati: “Osadzikakamiza, zidzakhala zopanda ntchito. Simungathe kuchita bwino ”.
Zachidziwikire, chiyembekezo chakulephera nthawi zambiri chimakhala ulosi wokwaniritsa. Wosutsa wamkati amayambitsa kukayikira, kusatetezeka komanso nkhawa, chifukwa chake munthuyo akalakwitsa, amapitilizabe kumuukira: "Ndakuuzani! Simukuyenera chilichonse. "
Zokambirana zamkati izi, zomwe zimabwerezedwa tsiku ndi tsiku, zotsatsa, zitha kupangitsa wina kuti adziononge ngati munthu, kuwapangitsa kukhulupirira kuti alibe phindu lililonse kapena kuti sayenera kukondedwa. Liwu laphokoso m'mutu mwake limangokhala chowonadi chokha, chifukwa chake pamabwera mfundo yoti munthu yemwe sanasinthidwe sakayikira ngakhale zowona za zomwe akunenazo kapena kuganizira zosintha.
M'malo mwake, msampha wa wotsutsa wamkati ndikumubwezera munthuyo, mwanjira inayake, kuubwana wake kapena nthawi zina zolephera, kusatetezeka komanso kusowa thandizo komwe analibe zida zamaganizidwe zodzitetezera ndipo adangovomereza zoyipa za olamulira.
Mwachizolowezi, wotsutsa wamkati amamupangitsa kuyambiranso kukanidwa ndi kutsutsidwa, kuyambitsa malingaliro omwe amamulepheretsa kuti asanthule mozama komanso mozama zomwe zikuchitika. Izi zimatseka munthu yemwe amadziyimitsa mozungulira zomwe zimamupangitsa kuti adziletse yekha.
Kodi mungaleke bwanji kudziwononga nokha monga munthu?
Njira zonse zomwe zimayambitsa kutsutsa kwamkati zimapangitsa munthu kuti adziletse okha nthawi zambiri samadziwa. Munthuyo sakudziwa kuti kudzudzula komwe amadzilankhulira sikuli kwa iye, komanso samazindikira zomwe zimayambitsa zomwe zimayambitsa. Chifukwa chake bwalolo loyipa limapitilizidwa.
Nkhani yabwino ndiyakuti kumvetsetsa makinawo ndi gawo loyamba lakuswa. Pali njira zingapo za kuzindikira kuzindikira kuti atimasule ku "wolamulira mwankhanza wamkati" wathu. Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi bwino ndikuyang'ana komwe kumadzudzula ife molakwika kapena kubwerera kuti tipeze yemwe adatipangitsa kumva choncho. Sifunso kufunafuna olakwa omwe amayang'anira kusowa kwathu chitetezo, koma kuti athane ndi zomwe olamulira ankhanzawa akupitilirabe pamaganizidwe athu, zisankho zathu ndi machitidwe athu.
Kuyambira pamenepo titha kuyamba kumanganso zokambirana zathu zamkati. Gawo lachiwiri ndikukhazikitsa zitsimikizo zomwe zimatithandiza kukwaniritsa zolinga zathu m'moyo ndikudziyang'ana tokha, m'malo mongotiwononga ngati anthu. Kuti tichite izi, gawo limodzi ndikuwunika mosamala zomwe timakonda kunena ndikudzifunsa: Kodi izi zikundithandiza kukwaniritsa zolinga zanga? Ngati yankho ndi ayi, tiyenera kusintha m'malo mwake ndi mawu omwe amatithandiza kukula, omwe amatilimbikitsa kukwaniritsa maloto athu.
Pomaliza, tiyenera kupitiriza ntchito yokonzanso wotsutsa wamkati kuyambira ndi chifundo. Kuti muchepetse wotsutsa wamkati wankhanza, sikoyenera kulimbana nawo, koma kungodziwa kuti ikangoyambitsa, kumvetsetsa komwe akuchokera, kulekana ndikuthana ndi zomwe zimachitika. Ndipo sitingathe kuchita zonsezi popanda gawo lachitatu:kudzimvera chisoni.
Kuzitulutsa ndi mawu omwe amatitsutsa kulibe tanthauzo lililonse. M'malo mwake, zimathandiza kwambiri kudziwona ngati mwana wamng'ono yemwe amafunikira kumvetsetsa komanso kukondedwa. Kudzimvera chisoni kumatanthauza kudzichitira tokha, makamaka tikalakwitsa. Zimaphatikizapo kumvetsetsa, kulumikizana ndi zowawa zathu, ndikuwongolera zabwino zathu.
Kudzimvera chisoni kumatipangitsa kuti tizilumikizana ndi otitsutsa amkati mwachifundo chifukwa zimatithandiza kumvetsetsa kuti si mdani, koma amafuna "kutithandiza", kungoti sakudziwa kapena sanaphunzire kuchita moyenera. Chifukwa chake titha kudziwana ndikukhala omwe tikufuna komanso momwe tingakhalire.
Pakhomo Kudziwononga nokha monga munthu: kodi malingaliro awa amachokera kuti ndipo angathane nawo bwanji? idasindikizidwa koyamba mu Pakona ya Psychology.
