Yiba yinto eqhelekileyo. Yenza oko kwenziwa ngabanye. Ukufuna into efunwa ngabanye. Zibekele usukelo olusukelwa ngabanye. Cinga njengabanye ...
Zimbini izinto ezinamandla ezichaseneyo kuye wonke umntu: enye ekhokelela ekuzikhetheni kunye nomnye okhuthaza intlalontle. Sonke sifuna ukuzenza njengabantu abahlukileyo nabayinyani, kodwa kwangaxeshanye kufuneka sibe lilungu leqela kwaye siziva samkelwe kwaye sixatyisiwe.
Nangona kunjalo, kukho abantu apho amandla akhokelela kwintlalontle esoyisa. Isidingo sokwamkelwa koluntu somelele kangangokuba sikhulisa oko uChristopher Bollas we-psychoanalyst akubiza ngokuba sisiqhelo.
Yintoni i-normopathy?
Ingqondo eqhelekileyo "Impembelelo engaqhelekanga malunga nokuqheleka okucingelwayo", ngokweBollas. Yinto eqhelekileyo yesiqhelo. Aba bantu abaqhelisi ukuzazisa, bangakhulisi ulwazi lwabo kwaye bangaziva benomdla ngobomi babo bangaphakathi, endaweni yoko bazama ukufuna ukuqinisekiswa kwentlalo.
I-normopath ihlupheka luhlobo oluthile loxinzelelo: uyoyika ukujonga ngaphakathi kwaye ujonge umxholo wayo wengqondo. Endaweni yokujonga inkxalabo yakhe, iminqweno kunye nenkuthazo, ugxila kakhulu ekudibaniseni eluntwini nasekuziqhelaniseni nemikhwa ethi ibe yinto ethambekisayo ethi iphele ichaphazela impilo yakhe.
Uyazi njani i-normopath?
Umntu onomdla wokuqheleka kwengqondo unqwenela-ngakumbi kunayo nayiphi na enye into ehlabathini-ukuvunywa kunye nokuqinisekiswa kwentlalo, nangaphandle kokuchaphazela ubuqu babo kunye nokunyaniseka. Ewe woyika ukuzimela. Uyoyika ukungavumelani nokuba wahlukile.
Kungenxa yoko le nto uhlala ezama ukungena ukuze afane nabanye. I-normopath inokucela umhlobo ukuba bacinga ntoni ngengoma entsha, isinxibo okanye iinwele ngaphambi kokwenza uluvo. Ngokusisiseko, ujonge kwabanye ukuba bamxelele ukuba makacinge ntoni okanye akholelwe ntoni.
Ukuxhomekeka kwakhe ekuqinisekisweni kwangaphandle kukhulu kangangokuba ugqibela ekhulisa "ubuxoki". Obu bungqina bobuxoki bujolise ngaphandle, buqeqeshelwe ukuphendula kwiimfuno zangaphandle kunye nokuvala iimvakalelo zakho kunye neminqweno yakho.
Oku kukhangelwa kwesiqhelo kuya kuba kokungaqhelekanga, kumenze aphulukane nokunxibelelana naye. I-normopath ilahlekelwe kukudibana okubalulekileyo neemvakalelo zayo kunye namazwe angaphakathi, ahlala ezibonakalisa ngolwimi oluhlwempuzekileyo. Kunzima kwi-normopath ukubeka ngamava amava abo ngenxa yokuba belahlekelwe luqhakamshelwano lobuqu babo obunzulu.
I-Bollas ifumanise ukuba aba bantu bayasilela ukwenza unxibelelwano phakathi kweemvakalelo zabo, umbono wabo kunye namava, kodwa batshintshele kwangoko kwindlela yokuziphatha. Ingathi banoluhlobo oluthile lokucinga olusebenzayo olujika ngokukhawuleza umbono ube sisenzo.
Ukuziqhelanisa, umntu oqhelekileyo akahlali "evulekile" ixesha elaneleyo ukuba umbono ovelayo uvele. "Inkqubo yokuhlola umhlaba wangaphakathi kunye nokucinga okubonisa ukutyhila ukungazi nto kunye neengxabano ngokucacileyo zicotha kakhulu", Utsho uBollas.
Ngenxa yoko, ubonakalisa ubungqongqo ekusebenzisaneni nabanye. Nangona kunjalo, ukuswela ubuntununtunu obufunekayo kunye novelwano, akanako ukunxibelelana nabantu kwinqanaba elinzulu, ngenxa yoko ubudlelwane bakhe abukho. Ngabantu abaqhelekileyo abasoloko bezama ukusikholisa kwaye banobubele, kodwa asikwazi ukunxibelelana nabo.
Kwezinye iimeko, xa i-normopathy ifikelela kumanqanaba agqithisileyo, ugqirha wengqondo uThomas H. Ogden ubhekisa "ekufeni kwengqondo" yokwenyani kuba kukho onke amalungu e-psyche apho kuchaphazela khona kwaye neentsingiselo ziyeke ukucutshungulwa. Ngapha koko, uninzi lwee-normopath ziziva zililize ngaphakathi. Kwaye okukhona beziva bengenanto ngaphakathi, kokukhona bephumela ngaphandle.
Ayimangalisi ke into yokuba ii-normopaths zisebenza kakuhle xa kukho umthetho olandelwayo ngokungqongqo ekufuneka ulandelwe. Bangabantu abamkela nantoni na inkcubeko yabo ibonisa ukuba ilungile, ichanekile okanye iyinyani. Abazibuzi ezo nkolelo, izimvo okanye amaxabiso. Bayoyika ukungavumelani. Bahamba nje ngokuthatha isimo sengqondo, ngaloo ndlela bavumela ubunzima ukuba bukhokele ubomi babo.
Indlela ekhokelela kwi-normopathy
Ummi ofanelekileyo ofunwa ziinkampani ezininzi yi-normopath, umntu olungelelanisa imigaqo kwaye alandele isihlwele ngaphandle kokubuza nantoni na. Ewe, sihlala sicinga-ngokungalunganga-olo luvo luqhelekileyo alunakuba luphosakele. Sicinga ukuba okuqhelekileyo kuchanekile kwaye kulungile. Lo mbono usikhokelela ekucingeni ukuba konke okwenziwa ngumntu kwamkelekile kwezopolitiko kwaye kuyanqweneleka. Ngelo xesha, izimvo kunye nokuphendula kwesininzi kuyaqala ukumisela okuqhelekileyo kwaye kuvelise uxinzelelo olucekeceke ngakumbi okanye oluncinci kwabo basukayo kuyo.
Oku kuthetha ukuba sonke, ngandlela thile, siyifakile intsholongwane yesiqhelo se-normopathy.
Ke ngoko, ugqirha weengqondo uHans-Joachim Maaz uthe imeko yesiqhelo yile "Inyaniso eyamkelweyo ngokwasentlalweni yokwala ngokudibeneyo kwe-neurotic kunye nokuzikhusela kumonakalo weemvakalelo, okhoyo kwinxalenye enkulu yabemi".
Kodwa lonke olu xinzelelo lwasentlalweni alwanele ukukhulisa isimilo sokuziphatha. Kwiimeko ezininzi, lo mnqweno wokuziqhelanisa nazo zonke iindleko unxulunyaniswa namava abuhlungu. Isazi ngengqondo, uBarbara Mattsson, umzekelo, wafumanisa ukuba abantu abanamava emfazwe banotyekelo olukhulu lokuqheleka. Aba bantu bazamela ukuba "ngabantu abaqhelekileyo" njengoko benqwenela inqanaba elithile eliqhelekileyo ebomini babo, elibanika imvakalelo yokuziva benqabisekile.
I-Normopathy ikwanxulunyaniswa namava abuhlungu avelise iintloni. Ukaliwa okanye ukuthotywa isidima kunokubangela ihlazo elikhulu, amava anokushiya inxeba linzulu kangangokuba lityhale umntu ukuba aqhawuke ku "I"
Ngapha koko, ugqirha wezengqondo uJoyce McDougall ukholelwa ekubeni "umntu obubuxoki" owakhiwa zii-normopaths sisiphumo sesidingo sokuphila kwihlabathi labanye, kodwa ngaphandle kolwazi olwaneleyo ngamaqhina emphefumlo, imiqondiso kunye neempawu ezibenza ubudlelwane babantu bunentsingiselo. .
Nangona kunjalo, le meko ye-pathological ayisiyiyo nje kuphela isiphumo soxinzelelo lwentlalo kunye noxinzelelo okanye amava obunzima, kodwa ixhaswa luloyiko olunzulu lokujonga ngaphakathi.
Aba bantu banamaxhala abukhali kuba bengaziqondi ezona mpembelelo zabo zinzulu kunye neminqweno yabo, ngakumbi xa ezi ziye zahlolisiswa ekuhlaleni. Bayoyika ukujonga ngaphakathi kuba abayazi into abaza kuyifumana kwinkqubo yokungena ngaphakathi kwaye abazi ukuba bajongane njani nezithunzi zabo.
Kungenxa yoko le nto kunzima kubo ukuba babonakalise iinyani, bame kwaye bacinge. Bahamba ebomini ngezixhobo ezimbalwa, zihlala zibolekwe kwabanye, ukuze zingalahleki okanye zijongane nomngcipheko ongalindelekanga kunye nemimangaliso.
Itekhnoloji ngokuqinisekileyo ayincedi. Ukuchitha ixesha elininzi phambi kwezikrini kusithathela ixesha kunye nendawo efunekayo yokucamngca, ngexesha apho ubuchopho bethu bunokwenza unxibelelwano olubanzi phakathi kweziganeko kunye nokuphendula kwethu ngokweemvakalelo.
"Ndomelele", iyeza eliqhelekileyo
Kwi-normopathy intlalo iphakanyisiwe kwaye umntu akahoywa. Kodwa i-normopath ayisoloko ilandela imigaqo okanye iziphatha njenge robhothi elungiselelwe ukulandela abanye. Ngapha koko, ukuqheleka okuqhelekileyo kugqitywa ngekhefu elisisiqhelo.
Abanye abantu be-normopathic baphela beqhuma phantsi koxinzelelo lokuhambelana okubathintela i-oxygen yengqondo. Kwezo meko, kunokwenzeka ukuba basabele ngogonyamelo, bajike kwiipateni okanye kumaqela abawalandeleyo, ngakumbi ukuba baziva belahliwe okanye bedanile.
Ukuphuma kwi-normopathy ayikho enye into enokuyenza ngaphandle kokuphuhlisa "ukomelela" kwaye wamkele izithunzi esinazo ngaphakathi. Kuya kufuneka sizivulele iziqu zethu, siphonononge kwaye sakhe kwakhona. Ngomdla onomdla nonovelwano.
Ukwenza oku, kufuneka silahle umbono wokuba ubungakanani banele, buchanekile okanye bunqweneleka. Kuya kufuneka siyiqonde into yokuba ngamanye amaxesha ukuqheleka-kuqondwa njengesiqhelo, kulawulwa kwaye uninzi-ngamanye amaxesha kunokwenza umonakalo omkhulu. Kufuneka sibuyele ekubalulekeni kokuchasana, siqwalasele okusingqongileyo kwaye siqinisekise umohluko wethu.
Kodwa ngaphezulu kwayo yonke into kufuneka siyeke ukukholelwa ekubeni sikhuselekile kwi-normopathy, kuba njengoko uMcDougall esitsho bonke abantu abaqhelekileyo, ubuncinci ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba elithile, “Bajikeleza kwihlabathi liphela njengeerobhothi, basebenze njengeerobhothi ezicwangcisiweyo, bazivakalise ngolwimi olucwangcisiweyo nolungafaniyo, banezimvo zebanal kwaye basebenzise ii-clichés kunye neefikshi.
“Batyekele ekuthobeleni ngokuthobekileyo inkqubo engaguqukiyo yemigaqo yokuziphatha engaqhelekanga kubani kwaye ilahle unxibelelwano kunye nabo ngokunciphisa umgama phakathi kwabo nabanye ukuya ku-zero. Bangabantu abalungelelaniswe nelizwe lokwenyani, abalungelelaniswe nobomi, abaphulukana nayo yonke iminqweno yabo yokuphonononga, ukuqonda nokwazi, kwaye ngokuthe ngcembe banciphise ukucinga kwabo ekusebenzeni "kokusebenza" kwaye bayeke ukuyisebenzisa ukwazi okwenzekayo ngaphakathi kubo. okanye kwihlabathi lemilingo labanye ".
Umda:
IBollas, C. (2018) Intsingiselo kunye neMelancholia: Ubomi kwiXesha loKwakhiwa. ENew York: Iroutledge.
UMattsson B. (2018) Ixesha lokuPhila ekuthinjweni: Imfazwe yaseFinland yaBantwana eSweden emva kweMfazwe. Inqaku lomhleli uNoona Kiuru: iUniversidad de Jyväskylä, eFinland.
UMaaz, H. (2014) uNormopathy eNtlalontle- iNarcissism kunye noPhilonotherapy. I-14th yaseYurophu kunye ne-10 yeNkomfa yaMazwe ngaMazwe yeMpilo yoMzimba: Libhon.
I-Ogden, T. (1992) Umda wokuqala wamava. ILondres: Ithala leencwadi laseMaresfield.
I-Bollas, C. (1987) Isithunzi seNjongo: I-Psychoanalysis yaBantu abangaziwayo. Icandelo leendaba laseColumbia.
McDougall. UJ. (1985) Iithiyetha zengqondo. Ukukhohlisa kunye nenyaniso kwinqanaba lokuphazamiseka kwengqondo. ILondon: iiNcwadi zamaHlabathi zamahhala
Umnyango I-Normopathy: umnqweno ongaqhelekanga wokufana nabanye yaqala ukupapashwa ngo Ikhonkco lePsychology.
