Sesiqhelile ukuva malunga nobundlobongela obujoliswe kwabasetyhini, malunga nenyani yokuba kufuneka sinike ingxelo kwaye sicele uncedo endaweni yoko mangaphi amaxesha esiva malunga nokuzikhusela, oko kukuthi, indlela yokuzikhusela?
Ubundlobongela obenziwa kwabasetyhini ngoyena nobangela uphambili wokusweleka kunye nokukhubazeka kwabasetyhini abaneminyaka eli-16 ukuya kwengama-44, ngokophando olwenziwe kwiYunivesithi yaseHarvard.
Khumbula ukuba ukucela uncedo kubalulekile, kodwa kufuneka ube nguwe othabatha inyathelo lokuqala lokuzihlangula. Utshintsho luhlala luqala ngaphakathi.
Ukubhalisa kwiikhosi zokuzikhusela sisigqibo esiluncedo kakhulu. Ngokufunda iindlela zokuzikhusela, abasetyhini banokufumana ukuzithemba kunye nenkuthazo eya kuthi ivumele ukuba bahlonitshwe kwaye bazikhwebule kwabo bafuna ukubenzakalisa.
Ukuzikhusela kukunceda ukuba wazi amandla akho kunye nobuthathaka bakho kwaye emva koko ubusebenzise kwinzuzo yakho kwimeko yohlaselo. Yintoni etshintsha sisimo sengqondo somntu kwimeko ezinobungozi nakwabahlaseli.
Uqala ukukholelwa kubuchule bakho kwakhona kwaye awusoyiki ukwaliwa. Le ntembeko ikwabonelela ngeziphumo emsebenzini nakubudlelwane nabanye: ukuma kuphuculwe, ithoni yelizwi iya kuba nesigqibo kwaye izithembe ngenxa yentlonipho elandelayo kubo bonke.
Kubudlelwane bezothando isiphumo siyafana, ekugqibeleni ufumana isibindi sokukwazi ukuveza uluvo lwakho, uxelele omnye ukuba ukhona kwaye uneemfuno zakho, ngakumbi kwimeko yobundlobongela obuphathekayo, bunokubusindisa ubomi bakho!
Ubundlobongela bezengqondo:
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthatha uhambo lwangaphakathi ngaxeshanye nokuzikhusela ngoncedo lwe-psychologist okanye i-psychotherapist eya kuthi ibonelele ngenkxaso efanelekileyo ukuze kufezekiswe utshintsho oluhlala luhleli,ubuwena, ukuzithemba kunye nelungelo lokuba khona.
Ubundlobongela bukhula, ngaphambi kokufika kubundlobongela ngokwasemzimbeni buhlala buqala ngogonyamelo lwengqondo kwaye yingcali kuphela enokukunceda.
Uhlaselo lokuqala lwengqondo luphezu kwesazisi somntu: ixhoba lichazwa ngokutsha ngumxhomi walo "njengobudenge, ubudenge, ubugeza kunye namagama ahlukeneyo ahlukeneyo"; Elinye iqhinga kukonyusa ixhoba ukuba lingasazithembi izimvo kunye neemvakalelo zabo "ubuyicinga, khange yenzeke".
Uqikelelo lulandela, oko kukuthi, ukubonakaliswa kweempawu zomxhomi kwixhoba, umzekelo ixoki liyakulixelela ixhoba lalo ukuba lixoki.
Ukusetyenziswa kweemvakalelo zokuziva unetyala, izoyikiso, izithuko kunye nokujongela phantsi izakhono zomnye de kube kurhoxisiwe. Bayalihlambela kwaye balihlukanise ixhoba kubahlobo nakwintsapho. Balawula ixhoba ngokumenza abe neentloni ngeenkolelo zakhe kunye neenkanuko zakhe, bamjongela phantsi kwaye bamngcungcuthekise.
Zonke ezi ndlela zokuziphatha zikhokelela ekubeni ixhoba liphulukane nokuzithemba, lingalixeli okanye livukele kwaye likholelwe ukuba alinakho, yintlekele ekhoyo!
Kule meko kubalulekile ukuba uxele iimeko ezinamava kugqirha wezengqondo ukuze ubuyele kunxibelelwano kunye nenyani kwaye uphinde uzazi ubuyena.
Ukuthomalalisa ukuhlaselwa ngokwengqondo kolu hlobo kubalulekile ukuba ukholelwe kuwe kwaye ubambelele kwinyaniso yakho.
Khumbula ukuba ukufunda ukuzikhusela kuyimfuneko!
Abo bangamaxhoba obundlobongela ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwasemzimbeni badla ngokuba ngamaxhoba obundlobongela kwezoqoqosho, oko kukuthi, abanayo imali ekhoyo yokubaleka kwimeko abazifumana bekuyo, kubalulekile ukuba wazi ukuba kukwakho nokuzimela simahla izifundo zokuzikhusela (fumana malunga nezixeko zakho!) kunye nenkxaso yasimahla yengqondo kwiikhawuntari nakumaziko okuphulaphula abafazi!
Inqaku elimnandi Ilaria, Siyavuyisana!
Enkosi Angie!