Incwadi kaRuss Harris ethi "The Happiness Trap" mhlawumbi yenye yezona zinto zi-5 zibalaseleyo endizifundileyo kule minyaka mi-2 idlulileyo. Ilula, inzululwazi, iyasebenziseka kwaye iyonwabisa. Thetha malunga nolonwabo, kunye neempazamo abantu abaninzi - ngokholo oluhle - benza ukuzama ukuyisukela.
Isitayile esimanzi kunye nesinomtsalane ngokwenene esenza ukuba uthathe umngcipheko wokusifunda ngokukhawuleza. Incwadi endaweni ekufuneka ijongwe, izahluko ezingama-33 zokufunda ibe nye yonke imihla ngenxa yokuba nganye yazo iluncedo kakhulu kwaye ilula kakhulu (oko akuthethi ukuba kulula) ukubonakaliswa kunye nokuzilolonga ukwetyisa, zama kwaye uzame kwakhona ukubona ukuba ubudlelwane bethu iimvakalelo kunye neengcinga.
Ngoku makhe sijonge ezi-3 zezinto endizishiyileyo encwadini:
1. Umgibe wolonwabo
Wonke umntu uyakuthanda ukuziva onwabile, yaye ngokungathandabuzekiyo sifanele senze kangangoko sinako ukuziva kamnandi xa kuvela. Kodwa ukuba sizama ukuhlala sinazo, silahlekelwe ekuqaleni kwaye singena kumgibe wolonwabo. Kuba ubomi bukwabandakanya i ubuhlungu, yaye akukho ndlela yakukuphepha: eneneni, bekuya kuthetha ukuphepha inxalenye yethu.
Kunoko, simele siqonde ukuba kungekudala sonke siya kuba buthathaka, sigule size sife. Kungekudala okanye kamva sonke siya kuphulukana nobudlelwane obubalulekileyo ngenxa yokulahlwa, ukwahlukana okanye ukufelwa; kungekudala okanye kamva sonke siya kujongana neengxaki, ukuphoxeka kunye nokusilela. Sonke siya kuba neemvakalelo ezibuhlungu ngendlela enye okanye enye kwaye umgibe wolonwabo wakhiwe xa uzama ukuphepha okanye ukulawula le ntlungu kwaye ngokubanzi ukuba yintoni engathandekiyo ovakalelwa ngayo.
Inyaniso ikukuba, okukhona sizama ukuphepha okanye ukuphelisa iimvakalelo ezingathandekiyo, kokukhona sivelisa iimvakalelo ezingakhiyo, kokukhona sisondela ngakumbi kuzo. Into eseleyo kuwe kukuba ufunde ukujongana nabo ngcono, ukubenzela indawo. Kwaye yonke into iqala ngokwamkelwa ...
2. Yamkela
Le ncwadi iqulethe iindlela ezininzi zokwamkela iingcinga kunye neemvakalelo, nathi esihlala sizama ngempazamo ukuzilungisa, ukuziphelisa kunye nokuziphikisa. Ukwamkela akuthethi ukuba kufuneka ubathande, khumbula, kodwa ukuba uyeke ukulwa nabo, ukuchitha amandla akho, ukuzibophelela kwinto eluncedo ngakumbi.
Jonga ngapha nangapha undixelele ... benza ntoni abantu? Uzibhokoxa aze azidinise kwilinge lokulawula nokuzabalaza ngezandi ezisentloko (ekwabizwa ngokuba ziingcinga) kunye neemvakalelo ezisemzimbeni wakhe (iimvakalelo), ngoxa engayiboni ngokupheleleyo into anokuyilawula. Into? Izenzo. Sifanele sigxininise koku, kwizenzo ezisivumela ukuba siqhubele phambili ubomi bethu ngendlela enexabiso kuthi. Emva kokuba wamkele, ke ngoko, ungaqala ngesenzo. Hayi nje nasiphi na isenzo, kodwa enye ehambelana neenqobo zakho. Zintoni ii?
3. Imilinganiselo VS Iinjongo
Inxalenye ebaluleke kakhulu yale ncwadi sisifundo esinzulu kumxholo wexabiso kunye nendlela esinokubeka ngayo ubomi bethu ezantsi ngokunxibelelana nabo. Inkcazo yexabiso idla ngokubhidaniswa naleyo yenjongo. Ixabiso lisalathiso apho sisoloko sifuna ukuqhubeka, inkqubo engade ifike esiphelweni sayo. Ngokomzekelo, umnqweno wokufuna ukuba liqabane elinothando nelikhathalayo lixabiso, nto leyo eqhubekayo kubo bonke ubomi.
Injongo, ngakolunye uhlangothi, isiphumo esinqwenelekayo esinokufezekiswa okanye sigqitywe. Ukutshata lusukelo kwaye wakuba ulufikelele ungaluwela kuluhlu. Kubalulekile ukugxila kumaxabiso ethu kwaye uqhagamshelane nawo, kuba iinjongo kufuneka zichazwe ukusuka apha: ukusuka kwinto exabisekileyo kuwe, ukusuka kwinto ebonelela ngexabiso kubomi bakho. Noko ke, amaxesha amaninzi abantu bachaza usukelo lwabo ngaphandle kokuphulaphula imilinganiselo yabo, yaye oku kubangela ukuba emva kwethuba bazive bebaleka bejikeleza, bedanile yaye bengakhuthazwa.
Incwadi endimele ndiyifunde, indenze ndafumanisa UMTHETHO, indlela entsha yonyango esekwe kwingqondo, ejolise ekuphuhliseni ukuguquguquka kwengqondo ekuvumela ukuba woyise amaxesha anzima kwaye uphile ngoku ngokupheleleyo kwaye ngendlela eyanelisayo.
IINKCUKACHA EZILUNCEDO:
-Ukuthenga incwadi kaRuss Harris ethi "The Happiness Trap", cofa apha kwikhonkco: http://amzn.to/2y7adkQ
- Joyina iqela lam likaFacebook "Iincwadi Zengqondo" apho sitshintshiselana ngeengcebiso, amava kunye nokuphononongwa kwiPsychology nakwiincwadi zokukhula komntu: http://bit.ly/2tpdFaX
L'articolo Umgibe wolonwabo - Iincwadi zengqondo kubonakala ngathi yeyokuqala Isayikholojisti yaseMilan.
