Amatyala okubulala ngababulali. Abenzi bolu lwaphulo-mthetho ngabadlwenguli. Abenzi bobusela ngamasela. Yicorny. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha imigca iba mfiliba aze omnye awele kumgxobhozo wexhoba elityholayo.
Inqanaba letyala, ngokuqinisekileyo, liyahluka. Ukutyholwa kwexhoba kuthatha imilinganiselo emininzi kunye neendidi ezininzi. Kukho abo babeka lonke uxanduva ngoko kwenzekayo kwixhoba nabo bathi babeke ityala nje elincinane. Kukho abo bacinga ukuba ixhoba lalinokwenza ngenye indlela ukuze liphephe uhlaselo, ngokungathi linebhola ekhatywayo elibonisa oko kwakuza kwenzeka.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, akusoloko kunokwenzeka ukugxeka ngokucacileyo ixhoba ngokwenza amabango aqinileyo malunga noxanduva lwakhe kwiinyani, kuba uluntu luvame ukugxeka izikhundla ezinjalo. Kwezi meko abantu babhenela kwiindlela ezichuliweyo zokugxeka, njengophononongo oluqhutywe kwi University of Brock, esibalela isenzo kwiindlela zokuziphatha ezinokulawulwa ngamaxhoba. Bakho ke abatyhola ixhoba ngesityholo sokungabi nankathalo kwanabo balityhola ngobugeza bakhe.
Kutheni sityhola amaxhoba endaweni yokuba sibaxhase?
Utyekelo lokutyhola ixhoba luvela ukukholelwa kwihlabathi elinobulungisa. Enyanisweni, kuye kwaboniswa ukuba ukukholelwa kwihlabathi elisesikweni kunokusenza singakukhathaleli ngakumbi ukubandezeleka kwabanye.
Phezu kwayo nje into yokuba okusesikweni abukho kwizilwanyana okanye kwindalo, sikholelwa kwelokuba ihlabathi noko kwenzekayo kuthi lithobela imithetho ethile yobulungisa bendalo iphela. Sonke sinombono ongekho ngqondweni wokuba abantu bafanelwe yinto eyenzekayo kubo, kokubini okulungileyo nokubi. Ukucinga ukuba izinto ezimbi zenzeka kubantu abalungileyo zicela umngeni kule nkolelo kwaye zisibangela ukuba singonwabi kakhulu.
Ukunqanda ukungazinzi kwengqondo, sikhetha ukukhangela enye ingcaciso, intsingiselo esengqiqweni koko kwenzekileyo, ngokukhethekileyo leyo ithuthuzelayo nehambelana nembono yethu yelo hlabathi lisesikweni. Sikhetha ukungacingi ukuba ezinye izinto zenzeka ngamabona-ndenzile yaye sikhangela isizathu esanelisa inkolelo yethu yokuba izinto ezimbi, ngandlel’ ithile, luhlobo oluthile lwesohlwayo.
Ukuba besicinga ukuba ihlabathi liyindawo enesiphithiphithi nengekho sikweni, sifanele sivume ukuba kunokwenzeka nabani na abe lixhoba lentlekele. Abazali bethu, abantwana bethu, iqabane lethu okanye thina. Ukukholelwa koko kusesikweni kwendalo iphela kusenza sizive sikhuselekile. Isinceda ukuba sicinge ukuba ezi zinto zoyikekayo azinakwenzeka kuthi, kuba siyayazi indlela yokuthatha amanyathelo afanelekileyo, silumke ngakumbi okanye silumke ngakumbi.
Umzekelo, sinokucinga: “ukuba wayengasikhuphanga isipaji sakhe, ngengazange asihluthe esandleni sakhe”, “ukuba wayekhethe indlela ekhuselekileyo, ngewayengazange ahlaselwe” okanye “ukuba wayefake i-alam, ngebengazange bayibe indlu yakhe”.
Ukutyhola ixhoba kusenza sizive sikhuselekile kuba sikholelwa ukuba silawula imeko. Idlulisela inkolelo yokuba ukuba asenzi ngendlela efanayo okanye asifani naloo mntu, okufanayo akuyi kwenzeka nakuthi. Yiyo loo nto sidla ngokucinga ukuba uxanduva lukuloo mntu uhlaselweyo.
Ekugqibeleni, konke kubilisa kwingcamango yokuba ukuba senza "into elungileyo," siya kukhuseleka. Ke ngoko, xa sityhola ixhoba, eyona nto siyenzayo kukufuna ukhuseleko kwihlabathi esilibona njengesiphithiphithi kakhulu, linobutshaba okanye alinabulungisa.
Intlungu ebangelwa kukuvuselelwa
Kwaye eyona nto imbi kakhulu kukuba okukhona isenzo sikhohlakele, kokukhona sityekela ekubekeni ityala ixhoba kuba sinesidingo esikhulu sokufuna iimpendulo kwaye sizive sikhuselekile. Enyanisweni, kwaqhutywa isifundo kwi- IYunivesithi yaseFranklin Pierce ibonise ukuba iimvakalelo zokungabi nakuzinceda kumabhinqa zidla ngokuwandisa umbandela wokutyhola amaxhoba obundlobongela obuphathelele kwezesondo.
Ngaphandle kokuqaphela, ezi ngcinga zokugxeka, ngakumbi xa kwabelwana esidlangalaleni, yenye indlela yokubeka ixhoba uxanduva. Ngoko ke, baba sisenzo sesibini sobundlobongela.
Eneneni, ukuthandabuza ulwaphulo-mthetho okanye ubungakanani balo monakalo kudla ngokuba ngumqobo ekunyangeni. Uluntu olugxeka umntu oye wabandezeleka ngokuphindaphindiweyo luyamgxeka, lusenza kube nzima ngakumbi ukuba boyise imeko ebuhlungu.
Oku kuphathwa kakubi kwakhona kunqanda amawaka-waka abantu ekuxeleni uxhatshazo abathe balufumana okanye bade babe nobuganga bokuxelela abantu abasondeleyo kubo kuba bengazi nokuba baya kuyifumana na inkxaso kunye nokuqinisekiswa ngokweemvakalelo abakufunayo. Yiyo loo nto abantu abaninzi bebandezeleka okwabo bethe cwaka ukwenzakala ngokwasengqondweni.
Xa ixhoba lityholwa, kungekuphela nje iimvakalelo zabo ezingasebenziyo, kodwa namava abo, kanye ngexesha lobuthathaka obukhulu, xa befuna eyona nkxaso. Ukujolisa kwixhoba akugcini nje ngokushenxisa ityala kumxhaphazi, kodwa kusenokubangela ukuba ixhoba lithandabuze kwaye licinge ukuba yayilityala labo. Ngaloo ndlela, singenzanga ngabom, sinokugqiba ekubeni sithethelela izinto ezingathethelelekiyo.
Nangona kunjalo, eyona nto imbi kakhulu enokwenzeka kumntu othe wahlaselwa kukuziva egwetyiwe, egxekwa, etyholwa kwaye engafanelekanga. Yiyo loo nto sonke, singathinteli nanye, kufuneka sibuze iinjongo zethu kwaye sinikele ingqalelo ngakumbi kumazwi ethu, ukuqinisekisa ukuba asidali ntlungu ngakumbi kwaye endaweni yoko sibe yindawo ekhuselekileyo efunwa ngamaxhoba.
Umda:
Hafer, CL et. Al. (2019) Ubungqina bovavanyo lokutyholwa kwexhoba elifihlakeleyo ngokungabikho kwetyala elicacileyo. PLoS One; 14 (12): e0227229.
Gravelin, C. et. Al. (2017) Impembelelo yamandla kunye nokungabi namandla ekumangaleleni ixhoba lokuhlaselwa ngokwesondo. Iinkqubo zeQela kunye noBudlelwane beQela; Ingxelo: 22 (1): 10.1177.
Umnyango Ukubeka ityala ixhoba, isenzo sesibini sobundlobongela yaqala ukupapashwa ngo Ikhonkco lePsychology.
