Ukufikisa kudla ngokuba sisigaba esinzima. Lixesha leenguqu phakathi kobuntwana kunye nobudala obuphawulwa lutshintsho lomzimba, lweemvakalelo kunye nezentlalo olumele umngeni omkhulu. Abakwishumi elivisayo baqala ukuphuhlisa isazisi sabo, banqwenela ukuzimela kwaye bazame ukufumana indawo yabo emhlabeni, kodwa basaswele ukukhula kwaye banobunzima bokulawula iimvakalelo zabo ngokuchanekileyo. Akumangalisi ke ngoko ukuba isiqingatha sazo zonke izifo zengqondo zobomi zikhula kwiminyaka eyi-14, oku kuthetha ukuba ixesha lokufikisa lixesha elinobuthathaka kakhulu lokuthintela kunye nonyango lweengxaki zempilo yengqondo.
Impilo yengqondo yabakwishumi elivisayo ayizange ibe sengozini kangako
Ekwindla ka-2021, iAmerican Academy of iPediatrics kunyeI-American Academy yabantwana kunye ne-Adolescent Psychiatry baye bajoyina amazwi abo ukubhengeza imeko engxamisekileyo yesizwe yempilo yengqondo yomntwana kunye nolutsha olufikisayo. Imeko kaxakeka ayikabhengezwa ngokusemthethweni eSpain, kodwa isavakala.
Ingxelo yakutshanje malunga nokuziphatha kokuzibulala kunye nempilo yengqondo ebuntwaneni kunye nokufikisa yi-ANAR Foundation iyaxhalabisa. Inani lamatyala anokuziphatha kokuzibulala likhule nge-1.921,3% kule minyaka ilishumi idlulileyo, ngakumbi emva kobhubhane, xa iinzame zokuzibulala zonyuka nge-128%.
Umbutho waBantwana baseSpain uphinde walumkisa ukuba impilo yengqondo yabantwana kunye nabafikisayo iye yaba mandundu kakhulu kwiminyaka yakutshanje. Phambi kobhubhane, kwaqikelelwa ukuba malunga ne-20% yolutsha olufikisayo lunengxaki yokuphazamiseka kwengqondo okunokuthi iziphumo zayo zihlale ubomi bonke.
Nangona kunjalo, kule minyaka mibini idlulileyo, ukuphazamiseka kokutya kuye kwanda ngama-40%, ukudakumba nge-19% kunye nobundlobongela nge-10%. Ngaphaya koko, iimeko zinzima kakhulu, abaguli bancinci kwaye bafuna ukulaliswa ngakumbi esibhedlele. Ngenxa yesi sizathu, kubalulekile ukuba abazali baqaphele ukubaluleka kwempilo yengqondo kubantwana abafikisayo.
Ukuba umntwana wakho unomkhuhlane, mhlawumbi uya kusabela ngoko nangoko ngokufuna uncedo lukagqirha, ngoko ukuba umfumanisa edakumbile, ecaphuka okanye engenamdla kangako kwizinto awayekade ezonwabela, akufanele ucinge ukuba sisigaba nje okanye into engabalulekanga ukuba ucinge ukuba uziva ebuhlungu. inokungahoyi ngaphandle kweziphumo ezinkulu. Xa kuziwa kwimpilo yengqondo yabantwana bethu, kubalulekile ukuba singaze siyeke ukulinda kwethu.
Iingxaki zempilo yengqondo ezinganyangwayo ziphazamisa ukufunda, ukuhlalisana, ukuzithemba kunye neminye imiba ebalulekileyo yophuhliso, ngoko ke ulutsha lunokuthwala iziphumo kubomi babo bonke. Kwiimeko ezinzima kakhulu, ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo kunokukhokelela ekuzibulaleni.
Indlela yokunyamekela impilo yengqondo yolutsha ekhaya?
Abazali bayesaba ukuqala kokufikisa ngenxa yokuba balindele ukuguquka kwemizwelo, ukuziphatha okuyingozi kunye neengxabano ezingapheliyo, kodwa ngokwenene lithuba lokuseka amabhondi aqinileyo. Ngapha koko, kweli nqanaba abazali banokuba yimizekelo yophuhliso lweemvakalelo kwaye bancede abantwana babo abafikisayo baphumeze izicwangciso ezisebenzayo neziguqukayo zokuhlangabezana nezibavumela ukuba babe ngabantu abazithembileyo. Ukwenza njani?
• Misela iipatheni ezisempilweni kubomi bosapho
Isakhiwo kunye nokhuseleko ziintsika ezibalulekileyo zokuzinza kwengqondo, kodwa zidlala indima ebaluleke ngakumbi kubomi bolutsha oluqhubeka lufuna imida ecacileyo kunye nezikhokelo njengoko zikhula kwaye zifunde ukuzinyamekela njengabantu abadala. Ngenxa yesi sizathu, impilo yengqondo iqala ngobomi bentsapho obulungelelanisiweyo obusekelwe kwimikhwa ephilileyo.
Zama ukufumana wonke umntu ekhaya ukuba atye ukutya okunempilo, okunesondlo, ukubeka phambili imikhwa elungileyo yokulala, kunye nokuseka inkqubo yokuphumla kunye nokuqhawula kwi-teknoloji enceda wonke umntu ukuba aphumle kwaye azalise amandla. Le mikhwa iya kunceda ukuzisa ucwangco kunye nokulinganisela kubomi bomntwana wakho kwaye ikhuthaze impilo-ntle yabo ngokwasengqondweni.
• Chitha ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye
Ukufikisa linqanaba lophando kunye nokuqinisekiswa kwakhona, ngoko kuqhelekile ukuba umntwana wakho afune ukuchitha ixesha elingakumbi neqela lakhe labahlobo okanye yedwa. Njengomzali, kufuneka uhloniphe indawo yakhe kwaye umnike inkululeko yokufumanisa kunye nokuhlola ihlabathi, kodwa kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba ixesha enilichitha kunye lisemgangathweni.
Ukufumana uthando olufanayo kunye nokwabelana ngalo kuya kuba lithuba lokuba kunye ngaphandle koxinzelelo, nje ukonwabela ukuba kunye kunye nokwazana ngcono. Ezi ntlobo zamava zikwadala iindawo ezikhuselekileyo kunye namathuba amatsha okuba umntwana wakho avuleleke kwaye abelane nawe ngeengxaki neenkxalabo zakhe.
• Mkhuthaze ukuba abelane ngeemvakalelo zakhe
Xa abazali benceda abakwishumi elivisayo ukuba babone baze bachaze indlela abavakalelwa ngayo, bomeleza ingqondo yabo. Ngoko ke, kufuneka ufumane iindlela zokunxibelelana nomntwana wakho. Unokumcela ukuba akuncede ekulungiseleleni isidlo sangokuhlwa okanye akuncede egadini, ukuze nincokole kunye. Thatha ithuba lokumbuza ukuba luhambe njani usuku lwakhe kwaye wenze ntoni.
Ukuba uyambona eziva edakumbile, ekhathazekile, okanye exhalabile, mbuze ukuba kwenzeke ntoni kwaye umncede alawule ezo mvakalelo. Kubalulekile ukuba umntwana wakho aqonde ukuba akukho mfuneko yokubaleka iimvakalelo ezingakhiyo kwaye isisombululo asikokuzihoya, kodwa kukufunda ukuzilawula. Imisebenzi efana nokupeyinta, ukuzilolonga, ukugcina ijenali, okanye ukuthetha ngento eyenzekayo kuwe ziindawo ezisebenzayo zokukhulula uxinzelelo kunye nokufumana imbono entsha kwiingxaki.
• Guqula ikhaya lakho libe yindawo ekhuselekileyo engenazigwebo
Esinye sezitshixo zokukhuthaza unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo kukukhululeka ekugwebeni. Umntwana wakho ufanele azi ukuba umthanda ngokungagungqiyo kwaye uya kuhlala umxhasa. Umele avakalelwe kukuba abazali bakhe bamele inkxaso eqinileyo anokuthembela kuyo xa izinto zingahambi kakuhle.
Ukufezekisa oku, kubalulekile ukuziqhelanisa ukuqinisekiswa ngokweemvakalelo; oko kukuthi, luphephe utyekelo lokunciphisa iimvakalelo, uloyiko okanye ukuphoxeka kwakhe. Umntwana wakho kufuneka azive enokuthetha nawe ngawo nawuphi na umba omkhathazayo okanye acele icebiso lakho, esazi ukuba awuzukumgweba. Oku akuthethi ukuba kufuneka uvumelane nayo yonke into, kodwa uya kuthatha isimo sovelwano kunye nokuqonda ukulungisa isihloko ngokuqolileyo, ngaphandle kokukhala okanye ukugxeka phakathi.
• Bafundise ukusebenzisa iteknoloji ngokusengqiqweni
Phantse akunakwenzeka ukulindela ukuba umntwana wakho aphile ngaphandle kweteknoloji, kodwa ibeka ingozi enkulu kwimpilo yengqondo efikisayo, ngoko ke kufuneka afunde ukuyisebenzisa ngokuchanekileyo ngelixa ezikhusela kwiingozi ezibangelwayo. Cwangcisa amaxesha okuqhawula unxibelelwano ekhaya kwaye ulungiselele imisebenzi engenatekhnoloji ukuze umntwana wakho aqonde ukuba kukho ilizwe elimangalisayo elingaphaya kwezikrini.
Kubalulekile ukuba umchazele ukuba yonke into ayenzayo kwi-Intanethi iya kuba neziphumo, eziya kuthi zihlale zifikelela kubomi bokwenyani, kwaye kufuneka ayilumkele into ayipapashayo kuba kuya kuba nzima ukuyicima kwi-Intanethi. Kwakhona mfundise ukusebenzisa izihluzi zabucala, ulungise izihloko ezifana nobuxhaphazi be-intanethi, ukuthumela imiyalezo ngemiyalezo ngemiyalezo ethunyelwa ngefowuni kunye nokuzilungisa kwaye umncede ukuba ahlule ukuzithemba kwakhe kunye nexabiso njengomntu osuka kwinani "lokuthandayo" okanye iimbono anokuzifumana kwiintanethi zentlalo .
• Khuthaza ukuzithemba ngamandla
Mhlawumbi esona sipho sikhulu unokusinika umntwana wakho kukumnceda akwazi ukuzikhusela, ingakumbi kwinqanaba lobomi apho iimvakalelo ngawe zixhomekeke kakhulu ekwamkelweni kweqela nasekudumeni kwiiwebhsayithi zokuncokola.
Musa ukuvele umngxolise umntwana wakho xa enze into engalunganga, mncome nangesimilo sakhe esihle. Ukuze loo ndumiso ibe sisichumisi sokuzithemba kwakhe, gxila kakhulu kumzamo kunesiphumo. Uya kwandula ke umntwana wakho aqonde ukuba uxabisekile kuye. Ukumbandakanya kwizigqibo ezibalulekileyo zosapho nako kuya kumenza aviwe kwaye axatyiswe, kumnika ukuzithemba ekusebenziseni ilizwi lakhe nokukhusela amalungelo akhe kwezinye iimeko ezingaphandle kwekhaya.
• Sombulula iingxabano kunye
Kulwalamano lwabo nomntwana ofikisayo, abazali bamele bazilungiselele ukuhlangabezana neeyantlukwano, iingxabano, nokruthakruthwano oluya kuvela. Khumbula ukuba nawe udlule kule minyaka, ngoko kungcono unyaniseke kwaye ucace kumntwana wakho. Mphulaphule ngokuzolileyo uze ube novelwano kwiimfuno zakhe ezintsha, nangona oku kungathethi ukuba ufanele unikezele.
Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, kuphephe ukulwa amandla ngokumisela unxibelelwano ngembeko ngaphandle kokuzama ukulawula indlela asabela ngayo okanye imbono yakhe. Umntu okwishumi elivisayo akanakufane avume ukuba wenze impazamo xa ecaphukile, ngoko kuhle ukuthetha xa izinto zizolile. Zama ukufumana izisombululo ze-win-win kwaye, ukuba kuyimfuneko, ufikelele kwiindlela zokulala apho umntwana wakho amkela iimeko ezithile kunye noxanduva ngokutshintshiselana nokuzimela ngakumbi.
• Yiba ngumzekelo wolawulo lweemvakalelo
Ukukhathalela impilo yengqondo yolutsha kuthetha ukubafundisa ukulawula iimvakalelo ezingalunganga. Oku kuthetha ukuba abazali bamele bathabathe uhambo lokufunda ngokweemvakalelo olukhokelela ekuphepheni ukuxambulisana xa benomsindo kakhulu okanye babe novelwano ngakumbi nokuqonda kwiimeko apho ngokuqhelekileyo benokoyika okanye bacaphuke.
Ukwabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho nomntwana wakho nako kuya kuba kuhle kuye. Ukuba unestresi, bazise. Ayikokumoyisa ngeengxaki zakho, kodwa ukumenza aqonde ukuba sonke sinobunzima. Xa umntwana wakho ebona indlela olawula ngayo ezi mvakalelo zinzima, uya kuqonda ukuba akuyomfuneko ukubaleka ezi mvakalelo, kodwa ufunde ukuzilawula, ngoko uya kunciphisa umngcipheko wokuzenzakalisa okanye ukubandezeleka ngenxa yokukhathazeka okanye ukudandatheka.
• Zogquma umqolo wakho
Kwanokuba wenza konke okusemandleni akho ukunyamekela nokukhusela impilo yengqondo yomntwana wakho, zininzi iimeko ezingaphaya kwamandla akho. Ubutsha sisigaba sobuthathaka obukhulu, iimeko ezininzi zinokushiya uphawu olunzulu lwengqondo olukhokelela kumonzakalo okanye ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo.
Njengomzali, kubalulekile ukuba ungavumeli ukulinda kwakho kwaye ufune uncedo kwi-psychologist okanye i-psychiatrist ngokukhawuleza xa ubona iimpawu zokuqala zesilumkiso. Khumbula ukuba ukufumana unyango kwangexesha kubalulekile ukunqanda ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo ekubeni kubi.
Umda:
(2021) Isibhengezo se-AAP-AACAP-CHA seSizwe esiNgxamisekileyo kwiMpilo yeNgqondo yoMntwana kunye noLutsha. Kwi: I-American Academic of Pediatrics.
(2022) Fundación ANAR presents on Estudio sobre Conducta Suicida y Salud Mental en la Infancia y la Adolescencia en España (2012-2022). Kwi: Fundación ANAR.
(2022) Lo bhubhani ubangele ukwanda ukuya kuthi ga kwi-47% kwiingxaki zempilo yengqondo yabahluphekayo. Kwi: Umbutho waseSpain wezonyango lwabantwana.
Kessler, R. C. et. Al. (2005) Ukuxhaphaka kwexesha lokuphila kunye nokuhanjiswa kweminyaka yobudala beengxaki ze-DSM-IV kwi-National Comorbidity Survey Replication. Arch Gen Psychiatry; 62(6):593-602.
Umnyango Bazali, ungayikhathalela njani impilo yengqondo yolutsha? yaqala ukupapashwa ngo Ikhonkco lePsychology.
