Nabani na owakhe wathandana uyazi ukuba kwimizuzu yokuqala owabelana ngayo neqabane lakho ungathanda ukuba yiyo iziko elinye. Izama ukuseka ubudlelwane obuhle be ubunzima nemvisiswano, ukuziva unamathele kulwalamano olusandul 'ukuzalwa. Le frenzy kunye nomdla uyaphela ngokuhamba kwexesha, yinto eqhelekileyo. Nangona kunjalo, xa oku kungenzeki kwaye, ngokuqinisekileyo, kukonyusa ukuxhomekeka kwelinye lamaqabane kwelinye, ke sijamelene nelo lizwe lichazwe njenge ukungasebenzi kakuhle kokuxhomekeka.
Ke ngoko, ukuba ekuqaleni kwebali lothando uhlobo lweziyobisi luthathelwa ingqalelo ngaphezu kwesiqhelo, emva kwenqanaba lothando idyll iba yimeko apho kuya kufuneka unikele ingqalelo. Konke oku kunokwenzeka ingakumbi kubukho bento ebizwa ngokuba yi "umhlobo", Ewe umntu othanda uku Yoyisa enye kunye neenkanuko kunye neemfuno zayo, ukwenza umthambo a ukulawula ngakumbi okanye ngaphantsi kubonakala kwingqondo yabo bamngqongileyo.
Kungenxa yoko le nto kubalulekile ukuba ukwazi ukubona ukuba ubudlelwane bakho buwela kwicandelo le "ubudlelwane obunetyhefuKwaye ukuba uhlangabezana nolwalamano olukhokelele kwikhoboka lokwenyani. Kukholelwa ukuba iyafana iziyobisi okanye iziyobisi, kuba abo banengxaki kuyo bayifumana njani Isizathu sokuphila nje loo "nto", kule meko "uthando lobuxoki" lweqabane.
Unobangela wokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo
Masiqale ngokuthetha ukuba akukho mntu unokukhuseleka ngokupheleleyo ekubeni likhoboka leemvakalelo kwaye asithethi nje ngento eyenzekayo ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, kodwa zeziphi iingcali ezichaza njenge "ezingasebenziyo". Nje, Iimbonakalo kwabo baneengxaki zokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo ngokungqinelana nezo zangoku Ukuphazamiseka kubuntu obuxhomekekileyo. Aba bantu, enyanisweni, ukuzithemba kwabo, ubuntu babo kunye nokuzithemba kwabo kunxulunyaniswa nobukho bento enye ubudlelwane obomeleleyo nobuzinzileyo.
Emva kwezi ngxaki, kukho oonobangela abanokukhokelela kule meko ngokulula ngakumbi kunabanye. Uninzi lwezinto ezibangela ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo umhla ubuya kwixesha le iubuntwana lomntu oxhomekeke kuye.
- Abantwana (bangaphambili) abakhuseleke ngokugqithisileyo: nanamhlanje, abazali abaninzi benza impazamo endaweni yabantwana babo ekwenzeni izigqibo. Yonke le nto ineziphumo ebudaleni. Ke, uninzi lweziyobisi ezichaphazelekayo ziyavela ukungakwazi ukwenza ngokuzimeleyo kwaye kufuneka babonisane nomntu othi, baxelele into amabayenze.
- Abo baye bafumana ubunzima bokushiywa: ukuqonda ukuqonda kwenokushiywa ukusukela ebuntwaneni kukhokelela kwiindlela ezimbini zokuziphatha ezahlukeneyo. Eyokuqala yile ukungathembani kwabanye kwaye ayinakuphepheka ukwala ubudlelwane, ngelixa eyesibini yilephantse ukunamathela ngokulusizi kwiqabane, ukwamkela nantoni na ukuze ungaphinde uphile ngokwahlukana.
- Abo bangenakuba bodwa: olu phawu lunokuzimela ukusuka ebuntwaneni bomqeshwa ovakalelo. Ngapha koko, abantu abaninzi ebudaleni baneengxaki ezinzima zokuba bodwa kwaye, ke, bathambekele ekwenzeni ukuthembela okukodwa kwaye unamathele kwiqabane ngaphandle kwemingcipheko oku kubandakanya. Ukwazi ukuba usebudlelwaneni - nangona oku kungathiwa kuyityhefu kwaye kuzisa ulonwabo oluncinci okanye kungonwabi kwaphela - kwanele ukuphelisa uloyiko yeziyobisi ezichaphazelayo zokuphila ngaphandle komntu ecaleni kwabo.
Yazi ukuba unengxaki yokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo: iimpawu
Ukuxhomekeka kokuchaphazeleka kunokuba yimeko ye-semi-pathological xa ubudlelwane obuqhubayo bujongwa njenge esona sizathu sasemva kobomi bomntu. Ukwazi ukuba uyasokola kule meko yezengqondo ezahlukahlukeneyo iimpawu onokuyifumana.
- Iimvakalelo zeqabane zibekwa phambili, zishiya ezazo: kuyinyani ukuba xa ukonwaba kweqabane lakho nako kuba kokwethu, emva koko singathetha ngothando lokwenene. Nangona kunjalo, awusoze ulahlekelwe ziimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo zakho, kuba xa oku kusenzeka kuthetha ukuba uzirhoxisa ngokupheleleyo ngenxa yomnye umntu.
- Awunakho ukwenza izigqibo ngokuzimeleyoUkwenza ukhetho lonke, ukusukela kweyona nto ibalulekileyo ukuya kweyona incinci, akunakwenzeka ukuba awunayo imvume yeqabane lakho.
- Xa ukude neqabane lakho, unomdla wokulahlekaUmntu oxhomekeke kwimbono yeemvakalelo uthatha iqabane lakhe kubalulekile ukugcina ulungelelwaniso lwengqondo kwaye akunyamezeli umgama, kuba oku kubangela uloyiko lokulahlwa.
- Awusazinikeli ixesha lakho ngokwakhoLe nyani inxibelelene ngqo nokungawunyamezeli umgama kwiqabane. Ke, ixesha elichithwe lodwa, elibalulekileyo kubudlelwane obusempilweni kunye obungenabungozi, lincitshiswe kakhulu okanye lacinywa ngokupheleleyo, kwaye iimfuno zomntu azisaxoli, malunga nokuzonwabisa okanye ukuphuma nabahlobo.
- Ukuzithemba kwakho kuxhomekeke kwisigwebo somnye: ubuntu babo banengxaki yokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo bufihliwe ngokubhekisele kwiparter kwaye ke nokuzithemba kwabo kunjalo.
- Soloko uthatha ityala: xa isigqibo senziwe ngaphandle kokubonisana nomnye, omnye uhlaselwa kukuziva enetyala. Ngokufanayo, umntu ubeka uxanduva lwaso nasiphi na isiganeko esibi okanye imeko.
- Ukusilela ukungavumelani nabanyeKungenxa yokuba umntu olikhoboka aliziva libalulekile ngokwaneleyo ukuba azenzele esakhe isigwebo.
Ungaphuma njani kwimeko yokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo
Kuxhomekeka kwimeko kunye nobukhali boxinzelelo olufunyenwe ngexesha lobomi besi sibini, ukuphuma kwimeko yokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo, kufuneka indlela Ukujongisiswa eyedwa ngokuyinxalenye kwaye ngokukhatshwa yingcali, ngokusebenzisa Unyango lwengqondo.
1. Qaphela kwaye wamkele oko kuye kwenzeka kuye
Njengazo zonke iziyobisi, inyathelo lokuqala ekufuneka ulithathile ukuphuma kuloo nto loop ibandakanya ukwamkelwa kwabo. Ukuqonda kunye nokuvuma ukuba ulixhoba lomlutha, kule meko ichaphazelekayo, kubalulekile ukuqala umsebenzi kunye nawe kwaye ucele uncedo. Umlutha weemvakalelo unokuphantse afune ngokwendalo ubudlelwane nabantu abangamoyikiyo nabangamphathiyo njengoko kufanelekile. Ke, kufuneka iqale ukuqonda le meko, yamkele kwaye iqale uphando lokuba kutheni oku kusenzeka.
2. Funda ukuba wedwa
Nokuba zeziphi izizathu ezingunobangela wokukhokelela kwimeko yokulutha, kuyacaca ukuba abo banayo bafumana ubunzima obuthile hlala uwedwa. Ukuba wedwa kubangela aba bantu uhlobo lokuphazamiseka, olunokuthi lube uloyiko, ixhala kunye noxinzelelo. Konke oku kubenza bazive benesidingo "sokuzibandakanya" komnye umntu, kunye nemingcipheko oku kubandakanya. Ukuphuma kuyo, umntu olikhoboka leemvakalelo kufuneka afunde hayi ukuba siphile ngokukhanya okubonisiweyo, kodwa kukuzimisela ngokwakho. Ukwenza oku, kuya kufuneka achithe ixesha kunye yedwa kwaye angaboni ubulolo kungengobusuku obubi, kodwa njenge ithuba lokuzazi ngokupheleleyo ngaphakathi.
3. Phanda oonobangela abakhokelele ekubeni likhoboka
Ngaphezulu kwako konke, eli nqanaba lokugqibela akufuneki lijongane lodwa kodwa ngoncedo lwengcali kwindlela yonyango lwengqondo. Mhlawumbi siye sawela ekuxhomekekeni ngokweemvakalelo kuba sinako umbono ongalunganga wothando, ngenxa yeenkolelo ezikhoyo ukususela ebuntwaneni. Okanye, yenzekile ngenxa ukulahlwa okanye kutheni ungakwazi balawule iimvakalelo zabo ngokuchanekileyo. Nje ukuba siziveze ezi ndlela zokuziphatha, kuya kuba lula ukuzisebenzela ubuwena kwaye uqhubekeUkuqinisekisa ubuntu e iingcinga zabo, kunye nokulungisa iingcinga eziphosakeleyo zothando kunye nobudlelwane.
