Siphila kuluntu olujikeleza ngokukhawuleza, ngoko ngamanye amaxesha isantya sethu siyasibhida. Ukubaleka ukusuka kwenye indawo ukuya kwenye, ukusuka kwesinye isibophelelo ukuya kwenye, asinalo ixesha lokuba nathi. Ngenxa yoko, akumangalisi ukuba iimvakalelo ziphela zifumba kwaye ziqhume.
Xa siziqhawula kwiziqu zethu kwaye singazibonakalisi izinto ezisikhathazayo okanye ezisikhathazayo, sinokuba namava okwenene. ukudinwa ngokweemvakalelo ephela ichaphazela impilo yethu kunye nokubeka ibhalansi yethu yengqondo. Ngoko ke, ngamaxesha athile kufuneka sijonge ngaphakathi kwaye senze izenzo zokuthomalalisa ngokweemvakalelo ezisivumela ukuba sikhulule uxinezeleko kwaye sithomalalise umthwalo esiwuthweleyo.
Uyisebenzisa njani indlela "yokuphazamisa" ukukhulula iimvakalelo zakho?
Eyona njongo iphambili yendlela yokuthomalalisa kukukhulula kwiimvakalelo ezingathandekiyo ezithintela ulungelelwaniso lwakho lwengqondo, ukuvelisa imeko yokuzola kwangaphakathi kunye nokuzola okukunceda ukuba ujongane nemiceli mngeni yemihla ngemihla.
Ukusebenzisa obu buchule, kufuneka uqale udale unxulumano olukhululekile. Vala amehlo akho kwaye ugxile kwingxaki ekukhathazayo, oko kukukhathazayo, okanye into ofuna ukuyisusa. Vumela ingqondo yakho ikhululeke, mayihambe ngokungalawulekiyo, yamkele nantoni na evelayo, naluphi na uvakalelo, ingcinga okanye inkumbulo. Ingcamango kukwenza imibutho yamahhala, ngokufanelekileyo ukukhangela i-analogies kunye nemifanekiso. Kuya kukunceda ukuba ucinge ngezi mvakalelo usebenzisa ibinzana "iyafana ...".
Emva kwemizuzu embalwa, xa ucinga ukuba unezinto ezaneleyo zokuqhubeka, vula amehlo akho.
Kwinqanaba lesibini kuya kufuneka uhlalutye kwaye uchaze ukungangqinelani usebenzisa izinto ezikhutshiweyo. Injongo kweli nqanaba kukuqonda ukuba kutheni ucinga kwaye uvakalelwe ngolo hlobo. Kwakutheni ukuze kuthi qatha le mifanekiso? Ezi mpendulo ziya kukunceda ufumane izizathu ezinokwenzeka kunye neenkcazo zokungonwabi kwakho kunye nokwakha kwakhona umfanekiso opheleleyo wengxaki kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Inokukunceda ukuba uzicingele njengengcali yezengqondo, ungazixelela ntoni?
Kwinqanaba lesithathu kufuneka uqhube uxinzelelo olugqithisileyo lomthwalo wengqondo-ngokweemvakalelo. Ngamanye amazwi, qokelela zonke iingcamango ezingalunganga, imifanekiso, iipatheni kunye neemvakalelo ofuna ukuzitshintsha, njengokungathi ziyipakethe, njengoko uthatha umoya ojulile, ubophe amanqindi akho kwaye ubonakale ukhwele phezulu kwintaba ephakamileyo. Qiniseka nje ukuba ugcina yonke loo ntlawulo ye-ideo-emotional isebenza, ngelixa ubambe umoya kwaye ubambe isisu sakho, isifuba ngaphandle.
Emva koko, injongo kukucima, ukuphelisa okanye ukuqhuma yonke isethi yeenkumbulo ezimbi, iingcamango, imifanekiso, iipatheni kunye neemvakalelo oye wazenza ngaphambili kwaye ufuna ukutshintsha. Ngoko khawufane ucinge ukuba ipakethe ohamba nayo iqhuma, njengebhombu okanye intaba-mlilo.
Kwinqanaba lesine, zama nje ukuphumla. Yiba nombono wakho njengoko usehla entabeni ngokuzolileyo de ufikelele kwindawo epholileyo. Inokuba lunxweme, apho iphinda iphinda iphinde ihambe ngokuthambileyo kwamaza, ivumba le-saltpetre yolwandle, i-caress yelanga eluswini kunye nokukhanya okujikelezileyo. Enye indlela ngumlambo ohlaziyayo okanye ingca eluhlaza epholileyo. Into ebalulekileyo kukuba uzive ngathi ujoyina indalo ngelixa uphumle.
Kufanelekile ukucacisa ukuba ukuba sele uqhuba iimvakalelo ezithile ezimbi ixesha elide, ezifana inzondo nengqumbo, kuya kufuneka uphindaphinde le ndlela yoxinzelelo lweemvakalelo izihlandlo ezininzi, ude ulahle ezo meko zeemvakalelo kwaye unokuzalisa ngokwenene ngokuzola, amandla kunye / okanye ukuzithemba. Ukuba awuzange uziqhelanise nomboniso, kusenokwenzeka ukuba unobunzima bokucinga ngeemeko ezahlukeneyo. Kufuneka nje uziqhelanise nomonde omncinci.
Umthombo:
Hernández, P. (2002) Los Moldes de la Mente: Ngakumbi allá de la inteligencia emocional. La Laguna: Tafor Publicaciones.
Umnyango Ukunciphisa, "indlela yokudakumba ngokweemvakalelo" ukuhambisa iimvakalelo zakho yaqala ukupapashwa ngo Ikhonkco lePsychology.
