Singabantu bentlalontle. Kwaye oku kuthetha ukuba kufuneka siphathe i-ballast eninzi. Ubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu buqulathe indida: okukhona sithembela ngakumbi kuthungelwano lwethu lwenkxaso, kokukhona lunoxinzelelo olungakumbi olunokusenza silungelelanise nemigangatho yabo yentlalo.
Usapho, abahlobo, kunye nemekobume yobungcali zizinto ezinokubakho zengcinezelo ezinokusiqhubela ekubeni sithobele izithethe, imikhwa, kunye neendlela zokwenza izinto esingaziva sikhululekile kuzo. Iimvakalelo ezingathandekiyo, ezinjengokwesaba ukukhutshelwa ngaphandle kwentlalontle okanye iimvakalelo zokuhlazeka kunye netyala lokubamba iimbono ezahlukeneyo, zizinto eziphambili eziqhuba oku kuhambelana.
Ewe, ukuthobelana kunokusinika iingenelo ezithile, ezinjengokwandisa ezethu izangqa zokuthembana, isenza sizive sinqabisekile. Ngaphezu koko, kuyasithintela ekubeni senze izigqibo ezininzi ngenxa yokuba ngokuqhelekileyo zisenziwa ngabanye abantu, ngaloo ndlela kushenxisa umthwalo wembopheleleko. Kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha, ukuthobela abanye kuya kutshabalalisa ukunyaniseka kwethu kuze kusithintele ekubeni siphile ubomi obonwabisayo.
Ukunyaniseka kuwe kufuna inkalipho eninzi, kodwa kunika ulwaneliseko lokulawula ubomi bakho kunye nokubuhambisa kwicala olifunayo.
Iimpembelelo ezi-5 ezibuhlungu kakhulu zokuhambelana nentlalo ebomini bakho
Sonke, ngaxa lithile, siye sawela kumgibe wokuthotyelwa kwentlalontle. Sonke siye saluva uxinzelelo loontanga ngaxa lithile ebomini bethu kwaye uninzi lwethu lugqibe ekubeni lunikezele.
Ukuthotyelwa kwentlalo kwenzeka xa sitshintsha indlela esiziphatha ngayo ngenxa yoxinzelelo lwangaphandle, olunokuthi luvele kubahlobo, kusapho okanye kuluntu. Ukuthotyelwa kwentlalo akuthethi kuthi utshintsho lwangaphakathi lokwenyani, kodwa uhlengahlengiso lokuziphatha ukuze luhambelane neemfuno zangaphandle. Akukho ntshukumisa yangaphakathi, kodwa umnqweno wokungena.
Kambe ke, xa sinikezela kwabanye, loo maleko anqabileyo okwamkelwa anokwenza ubomi bethu bube lula ngokuphepha ungquzulwano nokungavisisani. Nangona kunjalo, ingxaki yokuthotyelwa kwentlalo kukuba iyasithintela ekuphileni ngokunyanisekileyo, ekubeni sinyanisekile kuthi, into eyimfuneko kakhulu ukufumana indlela yethu ebomini. Iindleko zokuthobela zincama ubunyani bethu.
Ukuhlala emthunzini wabanye, ukuhambelana nendlela yabo yokubona ihlabathi, akuphili. Xa sizama ukufana nabanye abantu, asiyazi eyona nto siyiyo.
1. Udandatheko olukhulu. Xa silandela ngokumfamekileyo oko kulindelwe luluntu, sinokuphela siphulukana nentsingiselo yobomi bethu. I-Conformism iyasikhupha kuthi, kwiimvakalelo zethu, inkohliso kunye neminqweno, ukwenzela ukuba ekuhambeni kwexesha sinokuhlakulela ukudakumba, umphumo wokungakwazi ukuqonda into esiyifunayo nesiyifunayo.
2. Ukuphulukana nesiqu sakho. Ukuthotyelwa kwentlalontle kunokuthuthuzela njengoko kuvelisa imvakalelo yokhuseleko njengolwandle oluzolileyo, kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha siya kufumanisa imida yokusoloko sivumelana nabanye. Okukhona sinamathela ixesha elide kwabanye kwaye sibukhanyela ubuntu bethu, kokukhona sinyanzelwa ukuba sahlukane nobuntu bethu. Oku kukhokelela kwimvakalelo yokuzimela kunye nokungabi nabuntu. Sinokuba neengcamango ezicacileyo kuphela xa sijonge ngaphakathi kwethu ukuba sinikele ingqalelo kwizinto esizidingayo kunye nesikufunayo.
3. Ithintela ukukhula komntu. Ukunikezela kwiminqweno yabanye kusenokuba sisihendo kuba kusithintela ekwenzeni izigqibo, kodwa ukunikezela kwiintambo zobomi bethu kuya kusigcina singakhuli. Ukuthotyelwa kwentlalontle kuyasithintela ekufumaneni ilizwi lethu. Kufana nokuba sibeka ubomi bethu ebumnyameni kuba akukho zigqibo sizenzayo, kodwa sanelisekile yile meko ikhoyo.
4. Ukuxhomekeka kwabanye. Ukuthobela, enyanisweni, kukuphila ngokwendlela abanye abasicwangcisele yona. Kuhlala kukho umntu osixelela into emasiyenze, sicinge okanye sivakalelwe, kwimeko yokuhambelana ngokweemvakalelo. Xa singaqhelanga ukwenza izigqibo, sixhomekeke kwabo basingqongileyo, sinciphisa ukuzimela kwethu, ukuzimela kunye nenkululeko.
5. Ukungahambelani okubalulekileyo. Kunzima ukuhlala singaguquguquki xa kufuneka sihlengahlengise rhoqo into efunwa ngabanye abantu. Ukuthotyelwa kwezentlalo kusithintela ekuphuhliseni iprojekthi yethu yobomi kwaye siyilandele. Enyanisweni, kusenza sihlale sisukela iingcamango, izicwangciso nosukelo lwabanye, nto leyo ebangela ukuba ubomi bethu bube nexabiso elincinane okanye ulwaneliseko. Endaweni yoko, uzinzo lokwenene luvela xa silawula ikamva lethu, sizibekele usukelo lwethu, kwaye siyila isicwangciso sokulufikelela.
Ukuvumelana kuthetha ukurhoxa kwiingcamango zabanye, nto leyo eshiya indawo encinane kakhulu yokuzibonakalisa kunye nenkululeko yobuqu. Ukugqiba ukufuna imvume kunye nokuqinisekiswa kwabanye kuyasithintela ekubeni sinyaniseke kuthi. Ukuthotyelwa kwezentlalo kushiya indawo encinci yokucinga ngokuzimela kwaye kunciphisa inkqubo yokwenza izigqibo. Xa sixakeke kakhulu sicinga ngezinto ezifunwa ngabanye abantu, asiyihoyi kakhulu into esiyifunayo.
Ngenxa yesi sizathu, ukunyaniseka kwiziqu zethu kuthetha ukuchasa umsinga nokukulungela ukujamelana neengxabano. Ukuze silawule ubomi bethu kufuneka sifumane indlela yokuzibonakalisa kwaye silandele oko sikudingayo nesikufunayo. Ulonwabo lokwenyani luvela ekudibaniseni nengaphakathi lethu. Kufuneka sizithembe ngakumbi kwaye siqale ukuziphulaphula, endaweni yokuxhomekeka ekuqinisekiseni kwangaphandle. Landela iminqweno yethu, uthulile amaphupha ethu kwaye ufumane isibindi sokulandela iinjongo zethu.
Umthombo:
Stallen, M. & Sanfey, AG (2015) I-neuroscience ye-social conformity: iimpembelelo zophando olusisiseko kunye nolusetyenziswayo. Umphambili. Neurosci.; 9:10.3389.
Umnyango Ukuhambelana kwentlalo, iindleko zokuhambelana nabanye yaqala ukupapashwa ngo Ikhonkco lePsychology.
