Wonke umntu unoluvo lwakhe. Kwimeko yonyamezelo, enovelwano nekrelekrele, izimvo ezahlukeneyo akufuneki zibe yingxaki. Ngokwahlukileyo koko, ziyatyebisa. Noko ke, kwihlabathi apho abantu baxakeke kakhulu, benomsindo okanye bedanile, iimbono ziba ngumthombo wengxabano yaye amagqabaza athabatha indawo kabani. ukugxeka okwakhayo.
Amagqabantshintshi angalunganga sisonka semihla ngemihla, sihlala sikhona ebomini bethu kwaye sigquma kwiinethiwekhi zentlalo. Banokuvela kubantu abasondeleyo kunye nabantu abangabazi ngokupheleleyo. Zingajika zibe zingekho ndawo kwaphela izimvo okanye izigxeko ezithukayo.
Le abantu abane-hypersensitive, abo bazithabatha nzulu izinto okanye abakufumanisa kunzima ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo zangaphambili basenokonganyelwa yimpembelelo engokweemvakalelo yamagqabaza angakhiyo. Kwezi meko, ukufunda ukuphendula kwingxelo engakhiyo ngaphandle kokucaphuka kuba bubuchule bokuphila.
Kuphephe ukosuleleka ngokweemvakalelo
Iimvakalelo ziyosulela kwaye ezimbi ezinjengomsindo okanye usizi zingaphezulu. Ubukrwada, uburhalarhume nokuzigwagwisa nazo ziyosulela. Uhlolisiso olwenziwa kwiYunivesithi yaseFlorida lubonise ukuba xa sinikela ubungqina okanye singamaxhoba esiganeko esikrwada, kusenokwenzeka ukuba asibahloneli abanye.
“Iindlela zokuziphatha ezingafanelekanga ezifana nokuba krwada zinokosulela. Esi siphumo singenzeka ngesiseko seziqendu ezizodwa, nabani na unokuba ngumthwali wezi mvakalelo kwaye, ngokucacileyo, olu sulelo luneziphumo kubantu esiza kusebenzisana nabo kwixesha elizayo ", baqukumbele abaphandi.
Olunye uphando olwenziwe kwi Georgetown University ibonakalise ukuba nezimvo ezimbi kakhulu ziphela zichaphazela ukusebenza kwethu. Abantu abaye babonakaliswa kwiimeko ezinobutshaba baye baqaphela ukuncipha ekusebenzeni kwabo kwimihla ngemihla kunye nemisebenzi yokudala.
Ingcaciso ilula: xa siphathwa kakubi okanye ngokungafanelekanga, ingqondo yethu yeemvakalelo ithatha indawo kwaye isithintele ukuba sicinge ngokucacileyo. Singakwazi ukuxakeke kakhulu koko kwenzekileyo kwaye siqhubeke sicinga ngako, nto leyo ethatha izibonelelo zokuqonda esinokuzabela ezinye, ezibaluleke ngakumbi kunye nemisebenzi eyanelisayo.
Ke ngoko, umthetho wegolide wokuphendula kwingxelo embi kukuphepha ukosuleleka ngokweemvakalelo. Ukuba omnye umntu ukosulele ngomsindo okanye ukuphoxeka kwakhe, bakuzise kwindawo yabo yokudlala. Enye indlela yokuphepha ukosuleleka kukunqumama kwaye uphefumle phambi kokuba uphendule. Kufuneka sithathe imizuzwana embalwa ukumisa impembelelo yokuqala. Kukufunda ukwenza izinto endaweni yokusabela nje.
Xa sisabela, sizivumela ukuba silawulwe ziimbono kunye neemvakalelo zomntu onxibelelana naye. Xa sithatha isigqibo sokuba senze njani, sihlala silawula. Indlela elula yokuqesha umntu umgama ngokwengqondo ukusuka kwinto eyenzekayo kukuzama ukufumanisa iimvakalelo ezivezwa ngumthetheleli wethu. Lo msebenzi wengqondo, ekufuneka siwenze ngokufun' ukwazi, uya kusiguqula sibe ngumntu obukeleyo wangaphandle kwaye usincede sihlale sizolile.
Ukuphendula okanye ukungaphenduli? Lo ngumbuzo
Umbuzo akusoloko "indlela yokuphendula kwizimvo ezimbi?" kodwa endaweni yoko “ingaba sifanele siphendule kuzo zonke izimvo ezingalunganga?
Impendulo emfutshane nguHAYI.
Kukho amagqabantshintshi angafanelekanga umgudu weemvakalelo, umsebenzi wokuqonda, okanye ixesha elithathayo ukuphendula. Xa omnye engafuni ukuthetha kodwa egxeka okanye enyanzelisa uluvo lwakhe, akuyomfuneko ukuphendula kumagqabaza akhe.
Kwaye akufanelekanga ukuphendula kwizimvo ezingalunganga ukuba asifuni ukutyalomali kobo budlelwane. Ekugqibeleni, impendulo idla ngokubandakanya incoko, yaye kusenokubakho amaxesha apho singenamdla wokuba nencoko engayi kusikhokelela ndawo.
Ingcamango yeyokuba sizibuze ukuba ngokwenene kufanelekile ukuncama ezinye zethu uxolo lwangaphakathi ukulwa elo dabi. Kuya kubakho amaxesha apho kuya kuba nexabiso, ngamanye amaxesha akuyi kuba. Ngapha koko, kububulumko ukwazi ukuba ngawaphi amadabi afanelekileyo nangafanelekanga.
Ngamanye amaxesha, eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuphendula kwizimvo ezingakhiyo kukubonisa imida yethu, sisenza kucace ukuba asiyi kuvumela nabani na ukuba aphule imithetho yethu. amalungelo okuqinisekisa okanye ukusiphatha kakubi. Umzekelo wempendulo kuluvo olubi ngulo: "Uyandinyusela, uyandinyelisa kwaye uyandigxeka kwaye andizimiselanga ukuphathwa ngolu hlobo."
Kwakhona sinokuphendula ngendlela echubekileyo, ngombuzo otshintsha amandla kwaye unyanzelise omnye ukuba acinge kwakhona oko akuthethileyo kunye nemiphumo yako. Sinokuphendula ngombuzo obalaselisa ukungabi nangqiqo, ubungendawo okanye ukungabi nabuchule kwamazwi akhe. Ngokomzekelo, ezinye iimpendulo kwiingxelo ezingakhiyo zisenokuba ngumbuzo othi: Ngaba uye waphawula ukuba amazwi akho ayandikhathaza? o Uyaqonda ukuba awukwazi ukugxeka into ongayaziyo?
Umda:
Foulk, T. et. Al. (2016) Ukubamba ubukrwada kufana nokubamba umkhuhlane: Iziphumo zokosuleleka zokuziphatha okubi okuphantsi. J Appl ngokwengqondo; 101 (1): 50-67.
I-Porath, CL & Erez, A. (2009) Ayinanzwanga kodwa ingaphathwanga: Indlela ubukrwada obuyinciphisa ngayo intsebenzo yababukeli kwimisebenzi yesiqhelo nakwimisebenzi yokuyila. Iinkqubo zokuziPhatha zoMbutho kunye neZigqibo zoBuntu; 109 (1), 29–44.
Umnyango Indlela yokuphendula kumazwana angalunganga ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa ngumsindo wakho? yaqala ukupapashwa ngo Ikhonkco lePsychology.
