Kodi psyche imakhudza motani kugonana? Zambiri kuposa momwe timaganizira. Timalankhula za izi ndi katswiri wazama psychology
Zowonjezera: OIycom
Choyamba chiwalo chogonana ndi ubongo: ndizochokera kwa "iye" zomwe zimapangitsa chidwi, chikhumbo kapena chibadwa chogonana, tiyeni tizitchule zomwe zili zabwino kwambiri kwa ife. Koma ndi dongosolo lamanjenje lomwe "limasankha" - nthawi zambiri osadziwa - momwe angakhalire ndi msonkhano pansi pamapepala. Zabwino kapena zoyipa.
Ndipo ichi ndi chidziwitso choyamba chokhudzana ndi kugonana chomwe Freud anali atazindikira kale ku Eros ndi Tanathos koyambirira kwa zaka za makumi awiri. Kwa ena asanu ndi mmodziwo, tsegulani tsamba, kuti tiwadziwe pamodzi ndi psychotherapist komanso katswiri wazakugonana Prof. Roberto Pani, pulofesa wa psychology psychology ku University of Bologna.
Zowonjezera: OIycom
Tsankho ndilolakwika pa kugonana
Pali ambiri omwe athu amatha kupanga fantasia (kapena chikhalidwe chomwe tikukhalamo). Mawu monga: "Mwamunayo ayenera kuyamba" - "Kugonana ndibwino kuchita payekha amene mumakonda komanso amene mumakukondani "-" Ngati palibe kugonana, chibwenzicho sichigwira ntchito "-" Ngati ali ndi vuto ndiye vuto lake, komanso lanu (?) "-" Pogonana, chilichonse imaperekedwa malinga ngati onse akufuna (chisoni kuti kusamvana kuli pafupi) - "Unamwali ndi cholemetsa kuti muchotse mwachangu" - "Omwe amagonana pang'ono amakhala ndi zovuta zawo" - "Ngati Ine ' m not (and immediately), he / she leaving me ”-" Kuchita usiku woyamba ndikofanana ndi kusamuwonanso "; ndi zina zambiri zofanana ndi zotsutsana ndi izi zimapanga milungu zabodza kumangodzitchinjiriza.
"M'mavuto akulu kwambiri, i chikhalidwe atha kupanga phobias zenizeni zakugonana (= mantha ogonana) zomwe zimapangitsa kuti chiwerewere chikhale moipa kwambiri, ndikuziyika ndi nkhawa komanso zokokomeza - akufotokoza katswiriyo - Komanso munthawi imeneyi, ndi psyche yomwe imakhala ngati "jenereta" wamphamvu wamizimu zomwe zimakupangitsani kutaya kukongola kwa kugonana ".
Zowonjezera: OIycom
Kugonana maliseche sikusangalatsa nthawi zonse
Pezani zosangalatsa zokha Itha kukhala njira ina yodziwira zogonana chimodzimodzi kusowa bwenzi kapena njira yodziwira thupi lanu kapena ngakhale limodzi Njira yoletsa kupsinjika… «Tanthauzo lake lomwe timapereka kwa maliseche ndizofanana ndi zomwe takumana nazo, osati zomwe zimagwirizanitsidwa ndi kumva liwongo, yomwe yakhala ikuchitika kwazaka zambiri chifukwa chazikhalidwe zamakhalidwe - amafotokoza a dokotala Pani - koma ndi ochepa omwe amadziwa kuti anthu ena amatha kuphatikiza maliseche ndi kukhala wekha, zomwe zingachitike, kusungulumwa komwe kungakupangitseni kuti mumve kuti mulibe anthu ambiri ndikukhala nokha kuposa kale (kuti muyambe kuchita). Apa, ngakhale ngati chiwonongeko chikafika, izi sizokwanira kuthana ndi nkhawa, itha kubweretsa chisangalalo chokha.
Izi zitha kukhala chifukwa mosazindikira kuseweretsa maliseche kumalumikizidwa ndi zokumana nazo zakusiyidwa, kulephera "kukondedwa ndikukondedwa" kapena kukhala wofunika ».
Zowonjezera: OIycom
Kudzidalira
La kugonana ali ndi kudzidalira komwe kumatchedwa "kudzidalira", zomwe zimatanthawuza kuthekera kogonana moyenera. Ndikokwera kwambiri, chisangalalo chachikulu (osati chakuthupi chokha) chomwe chimadza chifukwa chogonana.
Chilichonse chimayambira likukula ameneyo ali ndi za iyemwini ndi zake thupi, zomwe siziyenera kukhala zokongola kuti zikope amuna kapena akazi anzawo. Koma ndi njira yomwe amawonekera yomwe imapangitsa kusiyana. «Kukulitsa kudzidalira kwamunthu ndikofunika kuganizira za iwe ngati zikanakhala chimodzi khalidwe "Wogonana", wokhoza kukopa, kupeza malingaliro komanso kukondedwa - akufotokoza katswiriyo - Podzilingalira kuti ndiwe "wokonda zachiwerewere", wina amakhala chimodzimodzi. Dziwani wina ndi mnzake, dziwani ena, dziwani za kugonana mbali zonse zakuthupi ndi zamaganizidwe ake kumangowonjezera kuzindikira kwa munthu kuthekera kogonana, zomwe zimatanthauzira motsimikiza kuti kukhala ndi mwayi wokhutira ndi zogonana ».
M'malo mwake, iwo omwe amadziona kuti ndi opanda chidwi amatha kukhala ndi moyo wopepuka komanso wopanda ulemu, monga kugona ndi iwo omwe sakonda 100% kapena zoyipa amazunzidwa.
Zowonjezera: OIycom
Kuganiza kuti mukugonana ndikuletsa
Apomalingaliro Ndizabwino kugonana, zowona, koma zikafika pokha zosangalatsa zomwe zingakulitse chisangalalo ndi chisangalalo. Nkhani "yodziyerekeza" pomwe mukugonana ndiyosiyana: ndiye kuti, kudziyesa m'maganizo anu mukusuntha m'malo osiyanasiyana pamodzi ndi ena. "Ndi chizolowezi chofala kwambiri kuposa momwe mumaganizira, chomwe chimayambitsa zododometsa, mwinanso ngakhale chopinga, chifukwa chimakupangitsani kukhala achabechabe - akufotokoza Dr. Pani - pangani chikondi, malingaliro "amaganiza" za thupi ngati kuti linali kutsogolo kwa kalilole, ndipo izi zimabweretsa mavuto ». Ngati mukuyenera kutero kulingalira winawake kapena china chake, ndibwino kuti malingaliro anu azitha kuwonera zochitika zosangalatsa zomwe nthawi zonse siziyenera "kuchitidwa".
Zowonjezera: OIycom
Maganizo olakwika amatha kulepheretsa chilakolako chogonana
I zinthu zamaganizidwe Amakhala ndi gawo lalikulu pakukweza, zomwe zimakhudza kukomoka kwa amuna ndi mafuta achikazi. Maganizo olakwika monga maganizo, mkwiyo, kuipidwa, makamakankhawa zingayambitse zovuta zogonana. Kuchita zinthu mogwirizana ndi kusapeza bwino ndikuopa kulephera, komwe kumachitika pamene akumuyang'anitsitsa.
«Ngati m'modzi kapena onse awiri ayamba kukumana ndi kugonana ngati mayeso oti adutse, atha kuyamba kukhala ndi nkhawa yowonjezeka, yotchedwa "nkhawa yantchito", yomwe ndi mantha amphamvu osakwanitsa kukwaniritsa kapena kusunga erection (kwa amuna) ndikuwonetsetsa kuti buku likuyenda azimayi »amafotokoza prof. Mkate.
Zowonjezera: OIycom
Kugonana, ngakhale kanthawi kochepa, nthawi zonse kumakhala kufunafuna chikondi
Nthawi zambiri ndi abwenzi amatsimikiziridwa (komanso ngakhale olimba mtima pang'ono) kuti njira yopezera chisangalalo pachibale ndiyo kugonana osamva ndipo popanda zovuta. Mawuwo amagwiranso ntchito kwa akazi, inde. Koma kodi tili otsimikiza kuti kugonana kwanthawi zonse kumakhala kopanda tanthauzo lililonse?
"M'malo mwake, owerengeka ndi omwe amavomereza kuti ndikufunafuna chikondi, osakhudzanso munthu ameneyo, komwe kumalimbikitsa kugona ndi munthu amene mwakumana naye posachedwa kapena amene mumangocheza naye. Sizingatheke kukhala chabe Chibadwa chogonana, ngati kuti kukumanako kumayang'aniridwa ndi zikhumbo zathupi. Apa kupeŵa kukhudzika kumakhala chinyengo chazotheka kuchita popanda ena, koma ndikofunikira kwenikweni "kumva kuti timakondedwa" (ziribe kanthu ndi ndani) zomwe zimatikakamiza kuti tizigonana »akufotokoza katswiriyo.
ndi Alessandra Montelli
Gwero la Nkhani: donnamoderna.com
