Ubale ndi wovuta. Ngakhale tapeza munthu woyenera, nthawi zambiri zimakhala zovuta kuti tipeze malire pakati pa kuyandikana ndi malo omwe tonsefe timafunikira. Kudutsa mzere wabwino kwambiri ndikosavuta. Ndipo tikachita izi, timayamba kukulitsa chidwi chomwe chimatipweteka. Chifukwa chake, kumamatira kwa munthu kumavulaza koposa zabwino.
Chifukwa chiyani munthu amakakamira munthu?
Kukonda sikumangirira. Chikondi sichimakhazikitsa malire, sichikakamira komanso sichimanga. M'malo mwake, kuphatikana kosayenera kumakhala ndi chizolowezi chowongolera ndikupondereza winayo. Izi zimapanga ubale wa kudalira kwamalingaliro yomwe imachotsa mpweya wamaganizidwe kuchokera kwa mamembala ake. Choseketsa ndichakuti munthu m'modzi akagwiritsabe, pomwe winayo amatayika posaka ufulu womwe akuyenera kukhala. Ichi ndichifukwa chake kulumikizana kopanda thanzi nthawi zambiri kumabweretsa kutayika kwa munthu amene timamamatira.
Kufunika kogwiritsitsa nthawi zambiri kumachokera ku kusatetezeka kwakukulu. Timamamatira munthu chifukwa, mwanjira ina, akhala gwero la chitetezo chamalingaliro. Kukhalapo kwake kapena kukumbukira kwake kumatipatsa bata ndikulimba mtima komwe timafunikira podzaza nkhawa zathu. M'malo mofuna chitetezo mkati, timayifunafuna panja, ndikupangitsa kuti winayo akhale ndi vuto lathu.
Momwe mungalekerere kumamatira munthu m'masitepe 7?
1. Vomerezani kuledzera. Kunyalanyaza vutoli ndiye njira yosavuta, koma siyankho. Kotero sitepe yoyamba ndiyo kuvomereza kuti tili ndi vuto lodziphatika. Kodi tayamba kudalira wokondedwa wathu? Kapena mwina ubale wokhazikika pakati pa makolo ndi mwana? Kapena sitilola kusiya munthu yemwe salinso mbali ya moyo wathu?
2. Mvetsetsani chifukwa chophatikizira izi. Nthawi zonse pamakhala chifukwa chochitira zomwe timachita, kungoti nthawi zambiri timakonda kuzinyalanyaza. Tikamamamatira kwa munthu ndikupanga mawonekedwe owongolera, pali chifukwa. Mwina mwina gawo lathu silingaganize zamoyo popanda munthu ameneyo. Kapenanso timakhala osatetezeka kwambiri ndikuwopa kusungulumwa. Kapena mwina tikutsutsana ndi kusintha. Kaya chifukwa chake, ndikofunika kuchipeza.
3. Siyani kufunika kokhala ndi zinthu. Nthawi zina, mopanda chidziwitso, timamvetsetsa maubale pakati pa anthu ngati kuti ndi katundu. Timakhulupirira kuti mnzathu kapena ana athu ndi athu. Chikhulupiriro ichi chimatha kubweretsa kulumikizana kosayenera. Chifukwa chake, tiyenera kumvetsetsa izi m'moyo palibe amene ali wathu kwenikweni. Tiyenera kuphunzira kukonda popanda kukhala ndikuperekeza popanda kuwukira.
4. Muzikhala ndi nthawi yambiri yokhala panokha. Zomwe sizidziwika zimabweretsa malingaliro osalimbikitsa. Mwachitsanzo, ngati takhala tikukhala ndi anthu nthawi zonse, titha kuopa kusungulumwa. Chifukwa chake nthawi zina, njira yabwino yolekera kumamatira wina ndikuphunzira kukhala wekha. Sikuti timangokhala ziweto koma kuphunzira kuphunzira kusangalala nanu kuti chisangalalo chathu chisadalire ena. Ndizodabwitsa kuti zambiri zomwe tingaphunzire za ife eni komanso momwe timamvera tikakhala ndi nthawi yokuziganizira.
5. Tidzisamalire tokha. Tikamamatira kwa munthu wina, moyo wathu umayamba kumuzungulira. Nthawi zambiri izi zimatanthawuza kuti timadzipereka kuti titukule ndikubwezeretsa zosowa zathu kumbuyo. Kuti tisiye kumamatira tiyenera kusintha zamphamvuzi ndikudziyang'anira tokha. Tiyenera kukumbukira kuti ifenso ndife oyenera kukhala patsogolo. Chifukwa chake, tiyenera kuyamba kuchitirana wina ndi mnzake mokoma mtima ndi mwachifundo, kuwonetsa chikondi chofanana ndi chomwe timachionetsera panja.
6. Perekani malo kwa ena. Anthu onse, ngakhale omwe amakondana kwambiri, amafunikira malo. Ngakhale kuli bwino kugawana mphindi, malingaliro ndi momwe mukumvera, sizabwino kuti winayo azimva kuti atsekerezedwa ndikudzipanikiza. Chifukwa chake, tiyenera kuyesetsa kuti tiipeze malo ake ndikugwiritsa ntchito nthawi imeneyo kukulitsa zokonda zathu. Munthu wodzidalira yemwe amadzikonda yekha ndipo wakula umunthu wapadera amatha kupereka chikondi chokhwima chomwe chimasiya chipinda cha munthu aliyense kukula.
7. Kudzidalira. Kudzidalira kumatha kuthandiza kwambiri pakusunga ubale wabwino. Anthu omwe amadzidalira kwambiri pamaluso awo sangatengere ena ngati njira yodzitsimikizira. Tikamakondana ndi kulemekezana, zidzakhala zosavuta kuti tizikondana mwaulemu, osapanikizika kapena kuchita zinthu mopitirira malire.
Pomaliza, tiyenera kukumbukira kuti munthu amene timam'mamatira asanabwere m'moyo wathu, tinalipo kale ndipo mwina tinali osangalala. Izi zikutanthauza kuti mbewu yachimwemwe ili mwa ife, sitifunikira kuyiyang'ana panja. Kuchotsa cholumikizira choipa ichi kudzatithandiza kuyang'ana pazinthu zonse zomwe timayamikira ndipo zomwe zingatipangitse kukhala achimwemwe, kupitilira ubalewo.
Pakhomo Kodi mungatani kuti musamamatire munthu? idasindikizidwa koyamba mu Pakona ya Psychology.
