Timakonda kuganiza kuti zochitika zambiri sizimangochitika mwangozi, koma zimakhala ndi tanthauzo lomveka. Ichi ndichifukwa chake timayang'ana zifukwa zomwe zimafotokozera zochita za ena komanso zathu. Timayesetsa kupeza zomwe zimayambitsa machitidwe awo. Kusaka komwe kumachitika chifukwa chazovuta kumatichotsera mwayi ndipo kumatipatsa mwayi, kumbali ina, kuti timvetsetse za dziko lapansi, komano, kuwoneratu zamtsogolo.
Kugawa zoyambitsa kuchitapo kanthu ndichinthu chodziwika kuti "kupatsa". Zowonadi, katswiri wama psychology a Lee Ross adati tonsefe timakhala ngati "akatswiri anzeru zamaganizidwe" chifukwa timayesa kufotokoza momwe timakhalira ndikupanga malingaliro okhudza anthu ndi madera omwe amagwirako ntchito.
Komabe, sitimakhala "akatswiri azamisala osakondera", koma timakhala ndi chizolowezi chowerengera anthu ena mlandu, ndikuchepetsa tanthauzo lazomwe tikukambirana. Kenako timapanga cholakwika chachikulu kapena cholakwika.
Kodi cholakwika chachikulu ndi chiyani?
Tikamayesa kufotokoza momwe titha kukhalira titha kukumbukira zinthu zamkati mwa munthuyo komanso zakunja kwa zomwe zikuchitikazo. Chifukwa chake, titha kunena kuti machitidwe amunthu chifukwa cha zomwe amamuyembekezera, zolinga zake, mikhalidwe yake komanso mawonekedwe ake, monga: "Afika mochedwa chifukwa ndi waulesi", kapena titha kuganizira nkhaniyo ndikuganiza: "Adafika mochedwa chifukwa panali magalimoto ambiri".
Popeza palibe munthu amene amakhala motalikirana ndi malo okhala, chinthu chanzeru kwambiri kuchita pofotokozera machitidwe ndikuphatikiza zomwe zimachitika mkati ndi kunja. Mwanjira iyi tokha titha kupeza lingaliro ngati lothekera pazinthu zonse zomwe zimakakamiza wina kuti achitepo kanthu mwanjira inayake.
Mulimonsemo, anthu ambiri amakhala ndi tsankho ndipo amakonda kukokomeza zomwe zimapangitsa kapena zomwe zimapangitsa kuti achepetse zomwe zikukhudzidwa, izi zimadziwika kuti ndi vuto lalikulu.
Mwachitsanzo, talingalirani mkhalidwe womwe mwina munakumanapo nawo: mukuyendetsa mwakachetechete pamene mwadzidzidzi muwona galimoto pa liwiro lalikulu likupeza aliyense mwanjira yonyalanyaza. Chinthu choyamba chomwe chimadutsa m'maganizo mwanu mwina sichosangalatsa kwenikweni. Mutha kuganiza kuti ndiwoyendetsa kapena wosokoneza bongo. Koma atha kukhala munthu amene ali ndi vuto ladzidzidzi la moyo kapena imfa. Komabe, zoyambitsa zoyambirira nthawi zambiri zimapanga ziwonetsero zamakhalidwe ake, ndikuchepetsa zosintha zachilengedwe zomwe zitha kudziwa momwe zimakhalira.
Nchifukwa chiyani timaimba ena mlandu?
Ross amakhulupirira kuti timapereka mphamvu pazinthu zamkati chifukwa ndizosavuta kwa ife. Ngati sitikudziwa munthu kapena momwe zinthu ziliri, zimakhala zosavuta kupereka malingaliro kapena mikhalidwe ina yamakhalidwe ake kuposa kuwunika zonse zomwe zitha kumukopa. Izi zimatitsogolera kuti tikukuyimbani mlandu.
Komabe, malongosoledwe ake ndiovuta kwambiri. Pamapeto pake, timawaimba mlandu ena chifukwa timakhulupirira kuti zizolowezi zimadalira chifuniro chathu. Chikhulupiriro choti tili ndi udindo pazomwe timachita chimatilola kuganiza kuti ndife oyang'anira miyoyo yathu, m'malo mongokhala masamba osunthidwa ndi mphepo yazomwe zikuchitika. Izi zimatipatsa mphamvu yakulamulira yomwe sitikufuna kusiya. Kwenikweni, timadzudzula ena chifukwa tikufuna kukhulupirira kuti tili ndi ulamuliro wathunthu pamoyo wathu.
M'malo mwake, cholakwika choyambirira chimakhalanso mu kukhulupirira dziko lolungama. Kuganiza kuti aliyense apeza zomwe akuyenera kulandira ndikuti ngati atakumana ndi zovuta chifukwa choti "adazifunafuna" kapena sanayesere zolimba, zimachepetsa chilengedwe komanso zimakulitsa zinthu zamkati. Mwanjira imeneyi, ofufuza ku Yunivesite ya Texas adapeza kuti madera akumadzulo amakonda kuchititsa anthu kuwayankha mlandu chifukwa cha zomwe amachita, pomwe zikhalidwe zakum'mawa zimatsindika kwambiri momwe zinthu zilili kapena chikhalidwe chawo.
Zikhulupiriro zomwe zimayambitsa cholakwikacho zitha kukhala zowopsa chifukwa, mwachitsanzo, titha kuimba mlandu omwe achitiridwa nkhanza kapena titha kuganiza kuti anthu omwe amasalidwa ndi anthu ndiwo amachititsa zolakwazo. Chifukwa chakulakwitsa kwakupereka zinthu, titha kuganiza kuti iwo omwe amachita "zoyipa" ndi anthu oyipa chifukwa sitivuta kuganizira momwe zinthu zilili kapena kapangidwe kake.
Chifukwa chake sizomwe zachitika mwangozi kuti cholakwika chachikulu chofotokozera chimakwezedwa pakamafotokozedwa zamakhalidwe oyipa. Chochitika chikatiwopseza ndi kutisowetsa mtendere, timaganiza kuti mwanjira ina, wozunzidwayo ndi amene amachititsa. Chiyembekezo choganizira dziko lapansi ndichopanda chilungamo ndipo zinthu zina zomwe zimachitika mosasamala ndizoopsa kwambiri, monga kafukufuku wochokera ku Yunivesite ya Ohio akuwonetsa. Kwenikweni, timadzudzula omwe achitiridwa nkhanza potithandizira kuti tikhale otetezeka ndikutsimikiziranso malingaliro athu.
Izi zikutsimikiziridwa ndi kafukufuku wopangidwa ndi gulu la akatswiri amisala ochokera kumayunivesite aku Washington ndi Illinois. Ofufuzawa adapempha anthu 380 kuti awerenge nkhaniyo ndikufotokozera kuti mutuwo udasankhidwa mwachisawawa pongoponya ndalama, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti wolemba sanayenera kuvomereza zomwe zalembedwazo.
Ophunzira ena adawerenga nkhaniyo mokomera mfundo zophatikizira ena pomwe ena amatsutsa. Kenako amayenera kufotokoza malingaliro a wolemba nkhaniyo. 53% ya omwe akutenga nawo mbali akuti mlembiyo anali ndi malingaliro ofanana ndi nkhaniyo: malingaliro ophatikizira ngati nkhaniyo inali yovomereza komanso yotsutsana ndi kuphatikizika pomwe nkhaniyo inali yotsutsana ndi ndondomekoyi.
Ndi 27% yokha mwa omwe adatenga nawo gawo omwe adawonetsa kuti sangadziwe malo a wolemba kafukufukuyo. Kuyesaku kumawulula kusawona bwino kwakanthawi komanso kuweruza mwachangu, komwe kumatipangitsa kuti tiziimba mlandu ena osaganizira zomwe zikuwononga.
Vuto ndi lanu, osati langa
Chosangalatsa ndichakuti, cholakwika chachikulu chodziwika chimakonda kuwonekera kwa ena, makamaka tokha. Izi ndichifukwa choti timazunzidwa ndi zomwe zimadziwika kuti "kukondera owonera".
Tikawona zomwe munthu amachita, timakonda kunena kuti zochita zawo zimachokera ku umunthu wawo kapena zolinga zawo, osati chifukwa cha momwe zinthu ziliri, koma tikakhala otsogola, timakonda kunena kuti zochita zathu ndizomwe zimachitika. Mwanjira ina, ngati wina akuchita zosayenera, timaganiza kuti ndi munthu woyipa; koma ngati sitilakwitsa, ndichifukwa cha momwe zinthu zilili.
Izi zimangokhala chifukwa choti timayesera kudzilungamitsa tokha ndikusunga egos yathu, komanso chifukwa choti timadziwa bwino momwe mikhalidwe yomwe ikufunsidwayo idachitikira.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati munthu atigwera m'chipilala chodzaza anthu, timaganiza kuti ndi osamvera kapena amwano, koma ngati titakankhira wina, timaganiza kuti panali chifukwa panalibe malo okwanira chifukwa sitimadziona ngati osasamala munthu kapena wamwano. Ngati munthu aterereka pakhungu la nthochi, timaganiza kuti ndi lopanda pake, koma tikaterera titha kuimba mlandu. Zili choncho.
Zachidziwikire, nthawi zina titha kukhalanso ozunzidwa chifukwa chofananako. Mwachitsanzo, ofufuza ochokera ku Perelman Sukulu ya Zamankhwala anapeza kuti opulumutsa ena amadziimba mlandu kwambiri chifukwa cha imfa zambiri zomwe zimachitika pambuyo pangozi. Zomwe zimachitika ndikuti anthu awa amapitilira mphamvu zawo ndi zomwe amachita, kuyiwala zosintha zonse zomwe sangathe kuzilamulira pakagwa zoopsa.
Momwemonso, titha kudziimba mlandu pazovuta zomwe zimachitika kwa anthu otseka, ngakhale zowona kuti kuwongolera kwathu pazosankha zawo ndizochepa. Komabe, kukondera komwe kumatipatsa kumatipangitsa kuganiza kuti tikadatha kuchita zambiri kuti tipewe zovuta, pomwe sitinatero.
Kodi tingathawe bwanji cholakwika chofunikira?
Kuti muchepetse mavuto obwera chifukwa cha kupatsidwa ulemu tiyenera kuyambitsa kumvera chisoni ndikudzifunsa tokha: "Ndikadakhala kuti ndili m'mavuto a munthu ameneyo, ndikadawafotokozera bwanji?"
Kusintha kwamalingaliro uku kudzatilola kusintha kwathunthu momwe zinthu ziliri ndi zomwe timapanga zokhudzana ndi machitidwe. M'malo mwake, kuyesa komwe kunachitika ku Yunivesite ya West of England kunapeza kuti kusintha mawu pamaganizidwe kumatithandiza kuthana ndi tsankho.
Akatswiriwa adafunsa ophunzira mafunso omwe adawakakamiza kuti asinthe malingaliro awo mosiyanasiyana (ine-inu, apa, pamenepo). Chifukwa chake adapeza kuti anthu omwe adalandira maphunzirowa kuti asinthe malingaliro awo sangaimbe mlandu ena ndipo amalingalira zachilengedwe kuti afotokoze zomwe zidachitika.
Chifukwa chake, tiyenera kungowona machitidwe kutengera kumvera ena chisoni, ndikudziyika tokha munsapato za ena kuti timvetse kudzera m'maso mwake.
Zikutanthauza kuti nthawi yotsatira tikatsala pang'ono kuweruza wina, tiyenera kukumbukira kuti titha kukhala ndi vuto lalikulu. M'malo mongomuimba mlandu kapena kuganiza kuti ndi "woyipa", tiyenera kudzifunsa kuti: "Ndikadakhala munthu ameneyo, ndichifukwa chiyani ndingachite chinthu chotere?"
Kusintha kwamalingaliro uku kudzatilola kukhala anthu omvera ndi omvetsetsa, anthu omwe sakhala kuweruza anzawo, koma omwe ali ndi kukhwima m'maganizo zokwanira kumvetsetsa kuti palibe chakuda kapena choyera.
Malire:
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Ross, L. & Anderson, C. (1982) Zofooka pakuwunikira: Pazoyambira ndikusungidwa kwamayeso olakwika pagulu. Msonkhano: Chiweruzo chosatsimikizika: Zolimbitsa thupi komanso zokondera.
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Pakhomo Cholakwika choyambira: kudzudzula anthu powayiwala nkhaniyo idasindikizidwa koyamba mu Pakona ya Psychology.
