M'moyo, zinthu zoipa zimatigwera tonsefe. Mavuto amagogoda pazitseko zonse. Koma pali anthu omwe amayankha molimba mtima ndikuyesera kudzipangira okha tsogolo lawo poyang'ana pazomwe angasinthe ena akamayamba njira yochitiridwa nkhanza.
Vuto ndiloti kusewera gawo la wovutikayo kumabweretsa malingaliro osangokhala othandizidwa ndi a locus of control kunja. Kukhulupirira kuti tilibe mphamvu ndikudandaula pazomwe zidachitika kudzatisiya kwathunthu pamikhalidwe, zomwe zingatipangitse kutaya chikhulupiriro kuti tingathe kupita patsogolo.
Akatswiri a zamaganizo ku yunivesite ya Tel Aviv amaona kuti kuzunzidwa ndi khalidwe lomwe limakhudza momwe anthu amamvera za dziko. Adatcha kuti Tendency to Interpersonal Victimism (Chizoloŵezi cha Kukhudzidwa Kwawo-TIV).
Kodi ndi chizolowezi chotani chochitiridwa nkhanza pakati pa anthu?
Tonsefe titha kumva kuzunzidwa munthawi zina, makamaka tikakumana ndi zinthu zomwe timaona kuti sizabwino. Komabe, zikafika pomasulira mobwerezabwereza, nthawi zambiri osagwirizana ndi zomwe zidachitikadi, zitha kutanthauza lingaliro kapena umunthu.
Ofufuzawa amatanthauzira chizolowezi chochitira nkhanza anthu monga "Kumverera kosalekeza kokhala wovutitsidwa, komwe kumalumikizidwa ku mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya maubwenzi", ndichifukwa chake zimatha kudziwa momwe timayankhira padziko lapansi, koposa zonse, kulumikizana pakati pa anthu.
Khalidwe ili limakhudza kwambiri malingaliro, malingaliro ndi machitidwe omwe timakumana nawo tikakumana ndi zovuta m'moyo. Munthu amene amakonda kuzunzidwa amadzimva kuti alibe mphamvu zothetsera mavuto ndipo amakhala ndi chizolowezi chofunafuna olakwira akunja.
Kodi anthu omwe amakonda kuzunzidwa ndi otani?
Mosakayikira, zolakwa za ena zimakhala zosasangalatsa ndipo nthawi zina zimakhala zosayenera. Koma anthu ena amatha kunyalanyaza ndikuwasintha ndikupitilira pomwe ena amaganiza za izo nthawi zonse, poganiza za omwe akukhudzidwa.
Kudzera m'maphunziro angapo, akatswiriwa amapeza kuti chizolowezi chozunza chimakhudzana ndi mikhalidwe ina:
1. Kusowa chifundo. Ngakhale anthu omwe ali ndi chizolowezi chodzizunza amadzinenera kuti amazindikira kupwetekedwa ndi kuvutika kwawo, zimawavuta kudziyika okha m'mavuto a ena. Kupanda kumvera chisoni kumawathandiza kuti asazindikire kuti si okhawo omwe akuvutika ndikumvetsetsa zifukwa zomwe ena angakhalire m'njira inayake.
2. Kufunikira kuzindikira. Wovutitsidwayo amafunika kuti azindikire ntchito yake. Ichi ndichifukwa chake nthawi zambiri limakhala funso la anthu omwe amalengeza zowawa zawo ndi zovuta zawo m'moyo, ali ndi cholinga chosazindikira kutsimikizira chithunzi chomwe adapanga.
3. Zowonjezera. Anthu omwe amakonda kuzunza anzawo amangoganizira mavuto awo. Amaganizira za izo nthawi zonse, m'njira yoti sangazigonjetse, m'malo mwake zimawonjezera ululu ndikudzisunga m'masautso oyipa.
4. Kuda nkhawa. Amadziwika ndikuti munthuyo amadzimva wosatetezeka muubwenzi wapakati pa anthu, womwe ungakhale chizindikiro kuti chizolowezi chozunzidwa chimayamba adakali mwana, kuyambira ubale ndi makolo.
5. Kutengera kwamakhalidwe. Anthu omwe amakonda kuzunza amakonda kukhulupirira kuti kusapeza bwino kwawo kumawapangitsa kukhala apamwamba kuposa ena, kuti athe kukhala ndi makhalidwe abwino.
Mwa kuyesaku, omwe adatenga nawo mbali amayenera kuwunika zochitika zomwe munthu wina angawachitire zosasangalatsa, powerenga chojambula chomwe mnzake wam'kalasi adanenedwa ngati wonyoza, kapena powatenga nawo gawo pamasewera omwe wotsutsana naye amapambana nthawi zonse.
Chosangalatsa ndichakuti, poyesa konseku, anthu omwe ali ndi chizolowezi chochitira nkhanza anzawo amatha kufunsa wobwezera aliyense amene wawapweteka. Pankhani ya kutchova juga, kufunitsitsa kubwezera kunadzetsa mkwiyo chifukwa anthu amatha kutenga ndalama kuchokera kwa wotsutsana naye akapeza mpata, ngakhale adadziwa kuti lingaliro ili silikulitsa phindu lawo.
Omwe atenga nawo mbali omwe ali ndi chizolowezi chomazunza anzawo adanenanso zakukhumudwa kwambiri, kuwulula kuti amakonda kukumana ndi mavuto kwambiri kuposa ena. Kuphatikiza apo, amakhulupirira kuti ali ndi ufulu wokulirapo. Pochita izi, pomwe amakhala ndi chizolowezi chozunza, amakhumudwa kwambiri ndipo amadzimva kuti ali ndi ufulu wochita zachiwerewere ndi ena.
Mwachidziwikire, anthuwa amakhala ndi chizolowezi chomasulira zochitika zina ngati kuti ndi cholakwa kapena kuwukira. Amavutika ndi zomwe zimatchedwa kutanthauzira kutanthauzira (kutanthauzira kutanthauzira), zomwe zimakhalanso ndi mawonekedwe chifukwa amazigwiritsa ntchito zinthu zisanachitike, zomwe zimadzetsa uneneri wokhutiritsa. Pochita izi, amaganiza pasadakhale kuti ena adzawachitira zoipa, zomwe zimawatsogolera kuti azichita zodzitchinjiriza zomwe zimatha, moyenera, zomwe zimayambitsa mikangano yomwe ingayambitse mabala am'maganizo.
Zachidziwikire kuti kutuluka mgulu loyipa ndikofunikira ngati tikufuna kuyambiranso moyo wathu. Tonsefe timakumana ndi zovuta ndipo timakumana ndi zopanda chilungamo, koma ngati titagwera Kuzunzidwa kwamatenda, sitingathe kuthana ndi zokumana nazozi ndipo apitilizabe kutisokoneza. Kusiya kukhala ozunzidwa, ndiponsotu, ndi njira yopezera mphamvu ndikutipatsa mwayi watsopano wogonjetsera zomwe zakhala moyo wathu mpaka pano.
Chitsime:
Gabay, R. ndi ena. Al. (2020) Chizolowezi chachitetezo chamunthu: Umunthu umakhala ndi zotsatirapo zake. Makhalidwe ndi Kusiyana Kwaumodzi; 165:110134.
Pakhomo Chizoloŵezi chochitira nkhanza anthu ena: kudziona kuti ndinu wozunzidwa idasindikizidwa koyamba mu Pakona ya Psychology.
