"Chinthu Chimodzi" lolemba Gary Keller ndi Jay Pasan ndi buku lomwe ndidayamikira chifukwa limakonza vuto lomwe lilipo: anthu ambiri amafuna kuchita bwino koma kukhala ndi chithunzi cholakwika cha zomwe zimawalola kuti akwaniritse. Ndipotu, tikamaganizira za chitsanzo cha munthu wopambana, timakumbutsidwa zithunzi za wogwira ntchito wotanganidwa, nthawi zonse mofulumira, mwinamwake akugogomezedwa mosalekeza ndi malonjezano ake ambiri.
Ndipo chimachitika ndi chiyani ngati tifunafuna kupambana kwathu potengera chitsanzo ichi?
Tidzadzaza masiku athu ndi ntchito, tidzayesa kulemba mndandanda wochulukira woti tichite, kenako tidzazindikira kuti zotsatira zomwe timapeza sizikugwirizana ndi zomwe tidagwiritsa ntchito.
Komabe, ngati tonsefe tili ndi maola 24 tsiku lililonse, n’chifukwa chiyani anthu ena amapeza zotulukapo zooneka bwino kuposa za ena?
Tikuwona mu mfundo zitatu zomwe zandisangalatsa kwambiri powerenga bukhuli:
1. Kupambana kumatheka pochotsa
Chepetsani. Ngati mumaganizira za kupambana kwanu, mwinamwake mudzapeza kuti madera omwe mwawakwaniritsa ndi omwe mwachepetsa kukhazikika kwanu pa chinthu chimodzi chokha. Monga mawu akuti "komwe mumayika chidwi chanu, mumapeza zotsatira", Kupambana kumakhala kosalekeza komwe kumayang'ana kwanu kulinso.
Tikazindikira kuti sitingathe kupirira chilichonse, kwenikweni, timayamba kuchepetsa zomwe tikuyembekezera, chifukwa timatanthauzira kuti kupambana ndi chinthu chovuta kwambiri kuti tikwaniritse, kotero kuti timatha kusintha pang'onopang'ono moyo wathu popanda. powona kuti pali njira, yosavuta komanso yothandiza kwambiri: chitani chinthu chimodzi ndi kuchichita bwino .
Choncho, kulingalira mwa kuchotsa kumatanthauza kuyambira pa chinthu chimodzi choyamba, kuchotsa zochitika zina zonse.
Ndiye ngati kupambana kumapangidwa pokhazikitsa chidutswa chimodzi panthawi imodzi, mungapitirire bwanji? Kudzera mu zomwe Gary Keller amatcha ...
2. Funso lofunika kwambiri
"Ndi chiyani chokhacho chomwe ndikachita china chilichonse chimakhala chosavuta kapena chosafunikira?"
Funsoli limatikakamiza kupeza chinthu choyamba ndipo limafuna kuti tiyang'ane kwambiri mpaka titamaliza.
Ili ndi mphamvu yoyambitsa zomwe zimatchedwa "Mphamvu ya Domino"M'mbali iliyonse ya moyo wathu. M'malo mwake, projekiti iliyonse yomwe tili nayo m'malingaliro, ngati titha kupeza matailosi oyamba ndikudzipereka mpaka itagwa, tidzangopeza mzere wa matailosi ena, oyikidwa kumbuyo kwa woyamba, okonzeka kugwa motsatizana.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati cholinga chanu chaka chino ndi kukonza ubale wanu ndi munthu wina wofunika kwa inu, dzifunseni funso lofunika kwambiri. "Chinthu chimodzi chokha chomwe ndingachite pamsonkhano wathu ndi chiyani, kuti pochita izi china chilichonse chimakhala chosavuta komanso chosafunikira "
Kotero ndiye mudzasankha, mwachitsanzo, kuganizira samalani kwambiri zolankhula za interlocutor wanu. Chifukwa cha tile yoyamba iyi, mudzagwetsa ina: lemekezani kusintha kwa mawu mkati mwa zolankhula zanu . Kenako khadi lina lidzagwa: ndi CNV yanu - ndiko kuti, mawonekedwe ndi mawonekedwe a nkhope yanu - mudzalankhulana chidwi ndi kumasuka kwa interlocutor wanu . Pa pa: udzapangitsa munthu winayo kumva kuti walandiridwa zomwe, kupeza kuvomereza ndi kumvetsetsa mwa inu, zidzawonjezera chidaliro ndi chithunzi chabwino chomwe ali nacho pa inu, pang'onopang'ono kukwanitsa kutsegula mosavuta.
Mwachidule, abwenzi, mukumvetsa, mphamvu ya domino idapangidwa kuyambira pafunso lofunikira.
3. Chinthu chimodzi: cholinga, kuika patsogolo ndi zokolola
Mfundo yomaliza ndi kufunikira kwa kulumikizana cholinga, patsogolo ndi zokolola pa mfundo ya "chinthu chimodzi".
Tangoganizani magawo atatuwa ngati zigawo za thambi la madzi oundana lomwe kachigawo kakang'ono kamene kamakhala kowoneka pamwamba pa nyanja.
Mwachindunji, m'munsi mwa madzi oundana, obisika pansi pa nyanja, timapeza cholinga (cholinga chomwe timachita zomwe timachita, guluu lomwe limatithandiza kupirira panjira yomwe yatengedwa ngakhale panthawi zovuta kwambiri). Cholinga chimakhazikitsa patsogolo, omwe ndi mlingo wa 2 wa madzi oundana, omira pansi koma pafupi ndi pamwamba, omwe amaimira seti ya zochita zomwe timapereka patsogolo komanso zomwe timakonzekera pazifukwa zomwe tafotokoza. Pomaliza tili ndi zokolola: gawo lowoneka la iceberg lomwe limatikumbutsa kuti sikokwanira kudzipereka chifukwa tiyenera kudzifunsa tokha zomwe tadzipereka, podziwa kuti kukhala opindulitsa kumatanthauza kupeza zabwino kwambiri pa zomwe timachita pamene zomwe timachita ndizofunikira.
Anthu ochita bwino samalakalaka nsonga ya madzi oundana (zopanga) popanda choyamba kupanga ulalo pakati pa maziko (cholinga + choyambirira) chomwe chimathandizira misa yonse. Ndipo izi ndi zomwe tiyenera kuchita komanso kuyesetsa kukwaniritsa zolinga zathu.
Maulalo Ogwiritsa:
- Lowani pagulu langa la Facebook "Books for the Mind" komwe timasinthana maupangiri, malingaliro ndi kuwunika pa Psychology ndi mabuku okula: http://bit.ly/2tpdFaX
- Gulani buku lanu la "Chinthu Chimodzi" lolemba Gary Keller ndi Jay Pasan apa ulalo: https://amzn.to/30bzUTZ
L'articolo Chinthu chimodzi chokha: momwe mungayikitsire patsogolo - Mabuku amalingaliro zikuwoneka kuti ndizoyamba Katswiri wazamisala waku Milan.
