Pfungwa yedu yehukama hwerudo iri kuchinja. Zvose zvinoita sezvinoratidza kuti pfungwa yekuva nemunhu mumwe chete "kusvikira rufu rwatiparadzana" haichanyanyi kunakidza. Zvakwana kutaura kuti muna 2021 maive ne86.851 kurambana muSpain, 12,5% kupfuura gore rapfuura.
Avhareji urefu hwewanano iri kudererawo, zvichireva kuti kwete chete kune kurambana kwakawanda, asi vakaroorana vari kugara zvishoma nezvishoma. Muchirevo chechinyorwa ichi, polyamory inova imwe nzira yekunzwisisa uye kurarama hukama. Uye haisi seyakajairika sarudzo sekufunga kunoita munhu. Ongororo yakaitwa paIndiana University inoratidza kuti munhu mumwe chete pavashanu vakamboita zvekubvumirana vasina murume mumwe chete pane imwe nguva muhupenyu hwavo. Asi kuchine ngano dzakawanda uye kusaziva kwakapoteredza rudzi urwu rwehukama.
Kusavimbika uye kutengesa muhukama hwepolyamorous
Polyamory iukama husina kunaka uye hwehukama hwehunhu hwakagadzikana pakati pevanhu vakati wandei, asi nemvumo yevose. Iro hukama hwehukama umo vaviri vanosarudza kusave pabonde uye mupfungwa chete, kuitira kuchengetedza hukama hwakavhurika hunogamuchira vamwe vanhu.
Pakutanga, zvingaita sekuti polyamory haisiyi nzvimbo yekusavimbika kana kubiridzira nekuti ihukama hwekubvumirana. Zvisinei, sezvinoratidzwa naWoody Allen's romantic comedy "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" polyamory inogona kuve yakaoma kwazvo, kunyanya kana uchitanga kubva mukurerwa uine murume mumwe chete uye pfungwa yehukama yehukama hwerudo.
Muhukama hwepolyamorous kunewo miganhu uye kuvimbika zvibvumirano, kunyange kana zvisiri izvo zvepabonde chete. Kutaura zvazviri, kusiyana nehukama hwakazaruka, mu polyamory vanhu vanobatana nezvisungo zvakakosha kune mumwe nemumwe, vachigadzira kuvimbika kwakakwana. Kutyora zvibvumirano izvi, zviri pachena kana pachena, zvinogona kusanganisira kutengesa kana kusavimbika kunokuvadza zvakanyanya sehukama hwemurume mumwe chete.
Hazvisi zvese ndezvechokwadi mu polyamory. Hukama hwese hunovakwa pakuvimba uye kuutyora kunoreva kurasika. Dzimwe nguva, kusavimbika kunogona kungoreva kutyora chibvumirano chisina kubvumirana, icho chinowanzoenderana nekududzirwa kwemunhu wese. Ndiko kuti, zvinokwanisika kuti mitsetse mitsvuku yakasiyana kune imwe neimwe nhengo yehukama.
Nokuda kwechikonzero ichi, muhukama hwe polyamorous zvakakosha kujekesa miganhu, nokuti zvinhu zvose zvisina kuitwa zvakajeka zvinotungamirirwa nekududzirwa. Iwe unofanirwa kupedza nguva yakawanda uchitaura nezvemitemo, uchijekesa izvo zvinonzi kusatendeseka uye zvaunoda kugovera.
Polyamory, manyuko echengeteko yendangariro?
Mumagariro evanhu, hukama hwemunhu mumwe chete hunowanzoenderana nekuchengetedza nepo polyamory inowanzoonekwa seyakafanana nekusagadzikana. Pasina kupokana, monogamy inotsvaga kudzoreredza mamiriro ekunze ekunamatira akachengeteka kana vanhu vasina mukati mekugadzira yakachengeteka yekunamatira maitiro.
Kuroora, kutenga imba, kuchengetedza bonde chete kana kuita vana zvinhu zvinounza vanhu pamwe chete uye, neimwe nzira, zvinovapa midzi. Asi kuchengeteka muukama hakusi "kuva muridzi" munhu zvachose kana kugovera zvimwe zvinhu nemunhu uyu.
Chimiro cherondedzero ichi chinongopa fungidziro yechengeteko yemanzwiro iyo inogona kuratidza kusasimba zvakanyanya kana mhepo ichingovhuvhuta ichirwisa. Chiyero chekugadzikana uye chengetedzo iyo hukama hwerudo hunopa haibvi pakuva, asi kubva mukugona kwenhengo yega yega kuvaka yakachengeteka yakabatana.
Kubatana kwakachengeteka kunogadzirwa kuburikidza nemhando yeruzivo rwatinarwo nemumwe munhu, kwete nekungochata, kugovana imba, kana kuita mwana pamwechete. Kuchengeteka ikoko kunovakwa apo vanhu vanenge vachiwanika mupfungwa, vachiteererana, vachibatana, uye vachikwanisa kutaura vakasununguka manzwiro avo akadzama.
Hukama hwakachengeteka hunovakwa nekuzvipira, ruremekedzo, kushamwaridzana, kushamwaridzana uye kubatana. Zvose izvi zvinogadzira kuvimba uye kuchengeteka. Uye rudzi urwu rwekunamatira runogona kukura muhukama hwemurume mumwe chete uye polyamorous, kunyangwe kuedza kwakanyanya kwemoyo kunodiwa mune yekupedzisira nekuti yakanyanya kuoma.
Zvechokwadi, zvinofanira kuonekwa kuti mune chero hukama hunokosha kuchengetedza kuenzana pakati pekuchengeteka uye kusachengeteka, izvo munhu "anazvo" uye izvo zvisingawaniki kuchengetedza chido, chimwe chikamu chinokosha cheSternberg's triangular theory ye rudo maererano neicho. hukama hwakavakirwa pahukama hwepedyo, shungu uye kuzvipira zvinowanzopona nekufamba kwenguva kuzadzisa.
A polyamorous relationship inogona kushanda mukufamba kwenguva here?
Rudo haruna miganhu. Miganhu inotarwa nesu, isu takagadzirirwa kusvika pamwero mukuru netsika dzemagariro. Tinogona kuda zvikuru munhu mumwe chete, vaviri kana vatatu. Izvi zvinoreva kuti hukama hwemurume mumwe chete uye hweporiyamorous hunogona kutadza kana kusimba nekuti kiyi haizi muhukama hwehukama asi mumabatiro anoita vanhu vanoiumba nematambudziko.
Muchokwadi, vaongorori veYunivhesiti yeGuelph vakawana kuti hapana misiyano yakakosha padanho rekugutsikana kwevanhu vari muhukama hwemurume mumwe chete kana kuti vasiri vehukama.
Zvisinei, tinofanira kuyeuka kuti hukama hwepolyamorous hunowanzoputsa magungano evanhu anotipa kugadzikana, saka vanogona kufumura kusachengeteka kwedu, zvinetso zvekubatanidza uye maronda epfungwa. Nokuda kweizvi, kutya kusiyiwa kana godo kunogona kuwedzera apo mumwe munhu akapinda muukama.
Kuchengetedza hukama hwepolyamorous zvakakosha kuporesa marwadzo ekare uye kubvisa zvitendero zvemumwe mukadzi zvakadzika midzi mupfungwa dzedu uye zvine chekuita nekuva nazvo. Izvo zvakakoshawo kuti munyatsozivana, kuve neruzivo rwakajeka rwezvaunoda uye kukudziridza kugona kuratidza manzwiro ako uye zvaunoda. Izvi zvinoreva kuti kuti hukama husiri hwemurume mumwe chete hushande, zvakakosha kuita rimwe basa rakaoma remukati.
Chokwadika, unofanirawo kuchengeta kurukurirano ichiyerera. Tinofanira kutaura zvakawanda pamusoro pemiganhu, kusachengeteka, zvido, zvinotarisirwa uye zvishuwo zveumwe neumwe. Zvakakosha kupa simba mukugadzira chisungo chine hutano uye chiri kusimukira umo bato rega rega rinonzwisisa uye rinonzwa kugutsikana ne "kondirakiti" yavanenge vapinda.
Kana chimwe chezviyo izvi chisipo, hukama hwepolyamorous, pamwe neaya ane murume mumwe chete, anogona kuve sosi yekushungurudzika uye kurwadza kwekurambana.
Zvinyorwa:
(2022) Estadística de Nulidades, Separaciones y Divorcios (ENSD) Año 2021. In: INE.
Wood, J. et. Al. (2018) Zvikonzero zvekusangana pabonde uye hukama muhukama husina murume uye hukama hwemurume mumwe: Maitiro ekuzvisarudzira dzidziso. Zvinyorwa zveHindu neHumano hwehukama; 35 (4): 10.1177.
Haupert, ML nevamwe. Al. (2017) Kuwanda Kwezviitiko Nekubvumirana Nonmonogamous Relationships: Zvakawanikwa Kubva Kumasamples maviri eNyika evamwechete vekuAmerica. J Bonde Marital Ther; 43(5): 424-440.
Eleno, A. (2013) Las ideas del amor de RJ Sternberg: dzidziso yetriangular uye rondedzero yedzidziso yerudo. Family; 46:57-86.
Kupinda Polyamory inogoneka here? yakatanga kubudiswa muna Kona yePsychology.
