"Ndani adakondapo yemwe sanakonde pomwe adamuwona koyamba?" Adalemba Christopher Marlowe. Kwazaka zambiri, zimaganiziridwa kuti chikondi chitha kudzera m'maso ndikuti idagwirizanitsa anthu awiri kwa moyo wawo wonse. Komabe, ilipo njira yozindikira mphindi ino kuposa chikondi chenicheni? Chotsimikizika ndichoti lilipo zochitika zingapo zomwe zimatipangitsa kumvetsetsa ngati tikukondana kapena ayi. Zidzagwiranso ntchito kwa omwe amatchedwa "chikondi powonana koyamba"?
Mu 1999, kanema wophiphiritsa wa sewero lanthabwala waku Italiya wokhala ndi Vincenzo Salemme, wotchedwa Chikondi powonana koyamba. Pambuyo pamavuto osiyanasiyana chikondi chachikulu chomwe chidabuka pakati pa anthu awiri akulu chimakhala loto, chifukwa chake, chinyengo. Apanso funso lalikulu limabuka: chikondi powonana koyamba, chikondi chapanthawi yomweyo chomwe chimangodutsa mwa kungowona kamodzi, kodi chilipo?
Chikondi pakuwonana koyamba: kodi zilipodi?
Ponena za kumverera konse, ngakhale chikondi ndi kusinthika kwake konse kumatha kutanthauzira tanthauzo limodzi, kotero ngakhale pachikondi chopatsa chiyembekezo pakuwonana koyamba pali zosiyanasiyana malingaliro otsutsana ndi malingaliro. Mosiyana ndi "kuphwanya" kosavuta, ili ndi imodzi kukopa kwakukulu zomwe zimachitika modzidzimutsa pakati pa anthu awiri. Zimakhudzanso osati gawo lathupi ndi zikhumbo zakugonana, koma nazonso maganizo ed zotengeka.
Chifukwa chake, chachiwiri Stephanie Cacioppo ya University of Chicago njira "zotumizira" za chikondi pakuwonana koyamba ndizo mawonekedwe. Zitha kugwira ntchito, chifukwa chake, monga andakatulo a stilnovist adanena kale ku Middle Ages: chilichonse chimayamba kuchokera m'maso. Chithunzicho chimafalikira kupita ku ubongo Ndipo pokhapo pamene chidwi chimafika pamtima. Zikumveka zosadabwitsa, koma ndi zoona ubongo kuyamba kukondana!
Kenako, malinga ndi bukulo Kulingalira Kwachikondi di Stephanie Ortigue, mphunzitsi ku Yunivesite ya Syracuse, zonsezi zitha kutenga nthawi yaying'ono kwambiri, yofanana ndi ochepera theka la sekondimonga kuphethira kwa diso! Pakadali pano, zopangira zamankhwala zimayamba kugwira ntchito mongaadrenalina, zomwe zimatipatsa moyo wabwino komanso chisangalalo, dopamine, kapena hormone ya chisangalalo ndi mphotho,oxytocin, aka uja wachikondi.
Kodi mumazindikira bwanji chikondi mukangowaona koyamba?
Zikuwoneka kuti okhudzidwa kwambiri ndi "mantha" awa ndi gli uomini. Osachepera 1 mwa anayi akuti adakumana ndi chikondi pakuwonana koyamba kamodzi m'moyo wawo. Komabe, palibe akazi sali opanda chidwi ndi izo, koma ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa zomwe "zizindikiro”Za chikondi pakuwonana koyamba. Zachikhalidwe kwambiri ndi zomwe zimawonetsedwa m'mafilimu achikondi a cinema, mwachitsanzo:
- Dziwani zambiri za omwe amatchedwa "agulugufe m'mimba".
- Mukamuwona munthuyo, zimakhala ngati mtima wanu kuphonya kumenyedwa.
- Kungokuwonani akupangitsa manja anu kunjenjemera ndi thukuta.
- Muzimva chimodzi nthawi zonse kumverera kwakukulu kwa chisangalalo .
- Mukuwoneka kumudziwa munthuyo kwazaka zambiri, ngakhale zitangolowa m'moyo wanu mphindi zochepa zapitazo.
- Kodi mungatero fuulirani ku dziko lonse lapansi zomwe mumamva ndikukhumba ndi mtima wanu wonse nkhani yachikondi yoona ndi iye.
- Zikuwoneka pakati pa malingaliro anu onse ndipo mumaganizira / ngakhale simunayembekezere.
Chikondi powonana koyamba? Umu ndi momwe mungakhalire!
Popeza kuti chikondi pakuwonana koyambirira chikhoza kukhalapo komanso kuti anthu ambiri adachitapo kamodzi kamodzi m'moyo wawo, sizachilendo kudabwa kakhalidwe zikachitika. Ndi kangati pomwe tawonapo wina mumsewu, pagalimoto kapena pagulu lomwe timakonda kungomuyang'ana? Zimachitika nthawi zambiri, koma vuto ndiloti simukuchitapo kanthu. Mumamva kukopa kumeneko mukuyembekeza kuti, monga m'makanema, amayandikira ndipo fchoyamba. M'malo mwake, zikhalidwe zina zitha kukhazikitsidwa kuti tisonyeze chidwi chathu mwa munthuyo ndikuwona ngati pali yankho lililonse kuchokera mbali inayo.
- Ganizirani za kumwetulira: ngati mungobwera kudzamvetsetsa mawonekedwe, ndikofunikira kuti chidwi chanu chizikhala pa inu. Pachifukwa ichi, musakhale opanda chidwi, koma onetsani kumwetulira kwanu kopambana. Mukamwetulira, muwonetseratu kuti pali chidwi komanso chidwi kwa inunso.
- Mudzisunge: ngati munthu amene mumamukonda mukangomuwona akuyandikira, musatengeke nazo manyazi kapena kuchokerankhawa. Khalani nokha ndikuyesera kuti mudziwe bwino.
- Nthawi zonse yang'anani maso: Chidwi chikapitirira pazokambirana koyamba, ndikofunikira kuti muziyang'ana zanu nthawi zonse chikondi powonana koyamba. Maonekedwewa, atha kunena zambiri kuposa mawu, zotsatira zake chowunikira zotengeka komanso nthawi yomweyo zozizwitsa komanso zosangalatsa.
Chikondi pakuwonana koyamba ndi chikondi chenicheni
Monga tanenera, chikondi pakuwonana koyamba chimakhala ndi izi kukopa kwakukulu kuti anthu awiri osadziwika amamvana. Ndi zamankhwala amachitira, Komanso chifukwa chakuyendetsa zachiwerewere, at maganizo et al mpikisano komwe kukumana koyamba kuja kumachitikira. Pachifukwa ichi timakonda tanthauzo la "chikondi powonana koyamba", Chikondi pakuwonana koyamba, chifukwa chikuwonetsa nthawi yomweyo zodabwitsazo osati momwe zimamvekera.
Chikondi chowonam'malo mwake, zimaposa chabe nzeru zachilengedwe zoyera komanso umagwirira. Kukhala mchikondi kumafunikira zinthu zingapo monga zovuta, kukondana, kugawana ndikudzipereka, zonse zomwe zimafunikira nthawi ndi chisamaliro kuti athe kulengedwa. Chikondi pakuwonana koyamba chili pafupi kwambiri ndi kutengeka kuposa kuyamba kukondana. Kuti mukhale chikondi, pamafunika chikhumbo chofuna kutenga nawo mbali mwa awiri omwe angakhale othandizana nawo komanso awo kudzipereka. Mwa njira iyi mokha momwe kukopa kwadzidzidzi kungasandukire chikondi chachikulu cha makanema, wokhoza kutsogolera kuubwenzi womwe ungakhale zaka zambiri ngakhale m'banja.
