La ʻāpana hōʻoluʻolu ʻo ia ka wahi a mākou e ʻoluʻolu ai a palekana. ʻAʻole ia he wahi kino wale nō, aia pū kekahi noʻonoʻo a, ʻoiaʻiʻo, he ʻano manaʻo. No laila, loaʻa iā mākou kahi wahi hōʻoluʻolu manaʻo kahi e hoʻolilo ai mākou i ka hapa nui o ko mākou manawa.
He aha ka hōʻoluʻolu manaʻo?
ʻO ka hōʻoluʻolu o ka naʻau he manaʻo maikaʻi, ʻoluʻolu i ke kaiapuni a me ʻoe iho. Hōʻike ia i ka laha ʻana o nā manaʻo ʻoluʻolu a maʻamau, akā me ka hāʻule ʻole ʻana i loko o nā mea koʻikoʻi e like me ka euphoria, ʻoiai aia kekahi mau manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole a mākou i maʻa ai, no laila e hoʻemi ʻia ko lākou hopena hoʻopilikia.
ʻO ka ʻike ʻana i kēlā hōʻoluʻolu manaʻo ke kī i ka hoʻokumu ʻana i nā pilina me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. I ka wā wale nō e ʻike ai mākou i ka palekana a hauʻoli i kahi kaulike o ka naʻau e hiki ai iā mākou ke wehe a hoʻokumu i nā pilina ʻoiaʻiʻo me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe.
ʻO ka hōʻoluʻolu o ka naʻau ke kumu o ko mākou hiki. ʻO ka mālama ʻana i kahi kūlana manaʻo kumu e hiki ai iā mākou ke nānā aku i nā hana a mākou e hana ai, i ʻole e lilo nā manaʻo i mea keakea akā i mea hoʻoikaika i ka hana. Akā ʻaʻole maikaʻi loa. ʻO ka noho ʻana i kahi ʻoluʻolu o ka naʻau he mau drawbacks.
ʻO ka nui o nā manaʻo a mākou e manaʻo ai, ʻoi aku ka ikaika o mākou
Hoʻokumu ʻia ka wahi hōʻoluʻolu o ka naʻau me kahi ʻano o nā mokuʻāina affective e noho mau a ʻoi aku ka paʻa. ʻO ia hoʻi ʻaʻole ia e hoʻonui i ka granularity manaʻo, ʻo ia ka hiki ke ʻike a ʻike i kahi ākea o nā manaʻo a me nā manaʻo.
ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻo ka ʻike ʻana i nā ʻano ʻano like ʻole, a me nā mea ʻoluʻolu ʻole, hiki iā mākou ke ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi i ka hoʻokele ʻana i ko mākou mau manaʻo a pale iā mākou mai ka hoʻohana ʻana i nā hoʻolālā luku e hoʻoponopono ai i nā kūlana e hoʻokaumaha iā mākou, e like me ka hōʻoia ʻana e nā psychologists o ka ʻO George Mason University. I kā lākou aʻo ʻana, ʻike lākou ʻaʻole hiki i nā poʻe i hiki ke ʻike a hoʻomaopopo i ko lākou mau manaʻo i ka lāʻau lapaʻau, ka waiʻona, a i ʻole nā meaʻai keu, e hoʻohana ana iā lākou i mau pahu hoʻomaha e hoʻokuʻu i ka ʻeha.
ʻO nā haʻawina ʻē aʻe i hana ʻia ma ke Kulanui o Kentucky ua hōʻoia i ka poʻe me ka granularity naʻau i hōʻike i ka ʻoi aku ka hoʻomalu iā lākou iho a ʻaʻole hiki ke pane ikaika i nā kūlana paʻakikī, ʻoiai inā ua huhū loa lākou. Basically, hiki ke ho'āʻo i ka laulā o naʻau a me nā manaʻo he hōʻailona koʻikoʻi ia o ke kūpaʻa a me ka hoʻomalu ʻana i ka naʻau e kōkua iā mākou e pale aku i nā pilikia me ka hāʻule ʻole.
ʻO ka pahele i mālama ʻia e ka ʻona ʻoluʻolu no mākou
Hoʻokumu pū ka wahi hōʻoluʻolu manaʻo i kahi pahele ʻē aʻe no mākou: kaʻalo ʻike. Ke ʻoluʻolu loa mākou i kekahi mau mokuʻāina pili, hiki iā mākou ke hoʻomaka e pale i nā kūlana e hoʻoulu ai i nā manaʻo "ʻino" i loko o mākou, i mea e lilo ai i "kauā" i nā manaʻo, nā kūlana a i ʻole nā manaʻo a mākou e hoʻāʻo e pale i nā koina āpau.
ʻO ka mea hoʻohenehene, ʻo ka pale ʻana i ka ʻike e hoʻopau ai i ka hopohopo i manaʻo ʻia e hoʻopau ʻia no ka mea ke hoʻāʻo mākou e pakele, hōʻole, a hoʻopaʻa paha i nā manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole a i ʻole nā manaʻo, ʻo kā mākou e hana nei ʻo ke kūkulu ʻana i kahi kahua kaua i loko. Me he mea lā ke haʻi nei mākou i ke kaua iā mākou iho. Hoʻoulu mākou i ka ʻeha o loko. A i loko o ia pōʻaiapili ʻaʻohe mea lanakila, hoʻokahi wale nō nalo: ʻo mākou iho.
ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻo ka hoʻohana ʻana i ka hōʻalo ʻike e hoʻokō i nā kūlana ola koʻikoʻi ua pili pū me nā pilikia olakino, ma ke kino a me ka noʻonoʻo. ʻO nā psychologists o ka Ke Kulanuiʻo Stanford ua hōʻike ʻia ua hoʻopau kēia mau hoʻolālā i ka hōʻemi ʻana i nā hopena maikaʻi ma o ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa ʻana i kahi ʻano maikaʻi ʻole, ke hoʻohālikelike ʻia me ka loiloi assertive a me nā hoʻolālā hoʻoponopono.
E hele i waho o kou wahi hōʻoluʻolu noʻonoʻo me ka nalowale ʻole o kāu kaulike
ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻole ia e pili ana i ka masochistic, akā pono mākou e ʻae i ke ʻano o ke ola e pono ai mākou e hele i nā ʻike like ʻole e ulu ai. E ʻoluʻolu kekahi, ʻaʻole kekahi. ʻO ka hoʻopili ʻana i kā mākou wahi hōʻoluʻolu manaʻo ʻaʻole ia e ʻae iā mākou e ʻike piha i kēlā mau ʻike, e aʻo mai iā lākou a puka i waho o lākou me ka ikaika.
Hiki ke hoʻomaopopo ʻia, i ka wā e kū ai i kahi kūlana maikaʻi ʻole, e hoʻāʻo mākou e hōʻole a pakele paha ma ka hilinaʻi ʻana i ko mākou wahi hōʻoluʻolu o ka naʻau, akā ʻo kēia hoʻolālā pale ʻana e hoʻolilo iā mākou i ka poʻe ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī a me ka hoʻomanawanui ʻole, ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi o ka hiki ke alo. ka mea i manaʻo ʻole ʻia i ke ola.
I ʻole e hoʻomaʻamaʻa nui i ka ʻoluʻolu o ka naʻau, hiki iā mākou ke hele i waho mai ia manawa i kēlā me kēia manawa ma ka ʻaʻa ʻana e kū i nā pilikia hou. ʻO ka hoʻolaha nui ʻana iā mākou iho, i nā kaiapuni i hoʻomalu ʻia, i nā ʻike e hoʻoulu ai i ka makaʻu, ka maopopo ʻole a i ʻole ka hopohopo ʻaʻole maikaʻi. Akā, e kōkua ia iā mākou e hoʻomaʻamaʻa iā mākou iho me kēlā mau manaʻo a me nā hopena physiological i hiki ai ke hana maikaʻi iā lākou i ka wā e hiki mai ana.
ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, aia ka mea huna i ka hoʻonui ʻana i ka wahi hōʻoluʻolu o ka naʻau, i ʻole e hōʻoluʻolu nui ʻia me nā ʻano affective states i hōʻike mua ʻia he maikaʻi ʻole, akā e ʻae iā lākou a hoʻomaopopo he pono lākou e like me nā manaʻo maikaʻi a mākou e hoʻāʻo nei. .e hopu iā mākou.
Kumuwaiwai:
Feldman, L. et. Al. (2015) Unpacking Emotion Differentiation Transforming Unpleasant Experience by Perceiving Distinctions in Negativity. Nā mea e pili ana i nāʻikeʻepekema; 24 (1): 10-16.
Pond, RS et. Al. (2012) Emotion differentiation moderates aggressive tendencies in angry people: A daily diary analysis. Hō'ike; 12 (2): 326-337.
Gross, JJ & John, OP (2003) Nā ʻokoʻa o kēlā me kēia kanaka i ʻelua kaʻina hoʻoponopono manaʻo: nā hopena no ka hopena, ka pilina, a me ka maikaʻi. ʻO J Pers Soc Psychol; 85 (2): 348-362.
ʻO ka puka komo Wahi hōʻoluʻolu manaʻo, kēlā wahi ʻoluʻolu kahi i hiki ʻole ai hoopuka mua ia Kihi o ka Psychology.
