Da "Harry, e launa me Sally" hele "Lula hoaaloha" o 883, ka nīnau kahiko oka launa ma waena o nā kāne a me nā wahine ʻo ia ka protagonist mau i nā huahana moʻomeheu lehulehu. ʻAʻole ia he mea mau, i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ke ʻike maka kahi loli aloha o ka pilina aloha, evolution e hiki nō naʻe ihu i ka ʻōpuʻu mai kēlā huaʻōlelo hauʻoli ʻole a mākou āpau i hoʻopuka ai, a i ka hihia ʻoi loa paha, i haʻi ʻia i hoʻokahi manawa i ko mākou ola. "ʻIke hou wau iā ʻoe he hoaaloha". A mai kēia huaʻōlelo a, ʻoi aku ka kikoʻī, mai kahi ʻāpana o ka Pūnaewele tv hoaaloha, i hoʻolele ʻia i ka makahiki 1994, ka mea i hoʻokumu ʻia i ka ʻōlelo Anglo-Sakona "Hoaaloha", A i ʻole ka "ʻĀpana o ke hoa", he wahi hapa ma waena o ke aloha a me ka pili aloha, kahi kala i, ma waena o keʻokeʻo a me kaʻeleʻele, e mae i ka hina antracite. Aia ma kēia wahi a mākou i hoʻokuʻu ʻia ai ke kiʻi ʻole ʻia ko mākou mau manaʻo e ka hoaaloha a mākou i hōʻike aku ai iā lākou. A, ʻoiai nā naʻau haʻihaʻi e kēia kūlana, akā, ke ulu nei, no laila ua hana lākou i kahi ʻaoʻao kaiaulu i kapa ʻia "Boomfriendzoned" e hōʻiliʻili i nā hōʻike, ua kākau mākou nāu i kahi ʻatikala i hiki ke kikoʻī ʻia nā mea āpau āu e ʻike ai e pili ana i ka hanana Friendzone: kāna uane, le kumu, akā ʻo ka hapanui o nā mea āpau, pehea e hele ai i waho.
Akā ma mua o ka hoʻomau ʻana, e nānā i kēia wikiō a ʻike i nā hōʻailona 5 e hoʻomaopopo ai inā he aloha maoli ʻoe me kekahi.
Friendzone: ka manaʻo
O ka ʻōlelo Hoaaloha he hōʻaiʻē mai ka ʻōlelo Pelekania, a hiki ke unuhi ʻia i ka ʻōlelo Italia me ka manaʻo "Keona hoaaloha" o "Kahi hoalohaloha". ʻO kēia hua ʻōlelo Anglo-Sakona e pili ana i kēlā kulana pohihihi ka mea hiki ke hana i ka launa aloha ke hoʻomaka kekahi o nā hoaaloha ʻelua e hoʻāʻo manaʻo hohonu loa no ka mea ʻē aʻe, me ka uku ʻole ʻia a no kēia, relegated to the "aloha ʻāina". ʻO Friendzone e pili ana nā kāne a me nā wahine pono ʻole a me ka nānā ʻole i kekahi ʻano o ka moekolohe. Ma hope o ka manawa, ua lawe ʻo ia he manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole, ke manaʻo ʻia nei he mea maoli hoʻohoka aloha me nā hopena destabilizing no ka hilinaʻi a me ka hilinaʻi iā ia iho o ka mea nāna ia e ʻeha. E hoʻopau i loko o ka "zona hoaaloha", ʻaʻole pono ia e haʻi ke kanaka i kona aloha a i kāna mea hoihoi i ka mea e pili ana, e loaʻa ana kahi hōʻole a maopopo loa mai ka hope: he mea maoli paha ia he koho manawaleʻa a pale ʻana, hana ʻia e ka mea makaʻu i ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa a i ʻole ka hopena ʻike ʻole o ka pilina a, no laila, makemake pinepine e hūnā i ko lākou mau manaʻo maoli, ka mālama ʻana i ke kūlana o ka pilina.
Aia ke aloha ma waena o nā kāne a me nā wahine?
ʻO kēlā oaloha ma waena o ke kāne a me ka wahine he kumumanaʻo mau ia paʻakikī a ma muli o ka paʻakikī loa o ke kanaka. A puni ka manaʻo o kahi pilina aloha ma waena o ka poʻe o ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe, a i ʻole o ka ʻekahi kāne i ke kumu o ka moekolohe, kahi pau ʻole o stereotypes no ka mea ʻaʻole ʻae ʻia ma waena o nā poʻe ʻelua e pili ana aia kahi hemo loa o ʻume mākenēki. I ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, he ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻike, a i ʻole nā loina unconscious, hoʻoulu ʻia i loko o mākou e ke kaiāulu kahi, alakaʻi pinepine ʻia iā mākou loiloi i ke kanaka ʻē aʻe ma ke ʻano he hoa hele aʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi loa ma ke ʻano he hoaaloha maʻalahi. No nā kumu maopopo, no laila, kēia ʻano ālaina ka hoʻomau kūlohelohe a me ka mālie o he launa aloha ʻole. Le kumu o kēia ʻano e pili pū kekahi i kēlā ʻano maʻa mau i ka manawa kamaliʻi, pani hermetically i loko o dnā hui o nā hoaaloha kahi e hiki ai ke hele wale a wale nō pnā kānaka o ka like kāne. ʻO kēia maʻamau, ʻo ka mea maʻamau, maʻa mau i waena o nā keiki, kāohi he aha kā lākou hiki i ka wā e hiki mai ana e pili i nā poʻe o ka wahine ʻē aʻe, ʻoiai hoʻohana ʻia lākou i kēia manawa i ka pigeonholing i kā lākou pilina ma loko o nā keʻena wai ʻole i wehewehe ʻia.
I nā makahiki i hala iho nei, ka manaʻo o Hoaaloha Loaʻa iā ia hoʻokahi ʻoi aku ka leo o ka moʻomeheu lehulehu a ʻo ia hoʻi ka manaʻo ua mālama ka ʻepekema iā ia, e hoʻāʻo nei e maopopo inā hiki ke loaʻa kahi aloha aloha maoli ma waena o ke kāne a me ka wahine. Ua hōʻike ʻia nā noiʻi i mālama ʻia i ka ʻepekema ʻepekema i kēia manawa, pinepine, ka poʻe o ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe e hakakā e hoʻokumu i kahi aloha aloha me ka ʻole o ke aloha kāne e hoʻonui i ka hoihoi i hōʻike ʻia iā lākou e nā wahinea, ʻoiai e hoʻowahāwahā ka mea hope iā ia. Ma ke ʻano laulā, hiki ke hiki ke pili aloha ma ka wā aia hoʻokahi ka nele loa o ka moekolohe ma waena o nā ʻaoʻao ʻelua, akā, he kūlana kēia e hiki ke hoʻololi a hoʻololi i ka manawa, e hoʻonāukiuki ana i ka dinamika i hoʻokumu ʻia a hiki i kēlā manawa i loko o ka pilina aloha. Eia nō naʻe, ʻaʻole pono kēia hanana e kāohi iā mākou mai ka noʻonoʻo ʻana i kahi kanaka o ka moekolohe ʻē aʻe ma ke ʻano he hoa aloha wale.
Hiki paha ke haʻalele i ka friendzone?
ʻOiai hōʻole ka hapa nui iā ia, hiki ke puka i waho o Friendzone. ʻOiaʻiʻo, pono ʻoe e mākaukau iā ʻoe iho me ke ahonui a me kahi mahele lāʻau maikaʻi o ka ʻae ʻia, akā ʻaʻole kēia kahi hana hiki ʻole. Ma mua o ka hāʻawi ʻana aku i kā mākou (a ʻaʻole wale) ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo e haʻalele i kēia kūlana me ka makaʻu ʻole, maikaʻi e hana i kahi kuhi: inā haʻalele ʻia kekahi i kahi o ka hoa me kahi alapine, a i ʻole, e like me kā lākou e ʻōlelo nei, ua aloha ʻia e ka hapa nui o ka poʻe āna e hoʻāʻo ai i kahi ala, maikaʻi e hoʻokūpaʻa i ka ʻO ka minamina no ʻoe iho ʻaʻole ia ma waena o nā hāʻina hiki i ke kūlana. I ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, pono ka mea i nīnau ʻia e hoʻomaka i kahi ala o ʻike pono iā ʻoe iho, haʻohaʻo e pili ana i ka kumu hūnā ʻia ma hope o kēia propensity i ka zona hoaaloha, i ka hope loa i ka ʻike ʻana, pinepine, inā ʻaʻole i hana kahi pilina ʻo ia no ka mea ʻaʻole ia e hana a ʻaʻole no ka mea ua hewa kekahi iā ia a i ʻole i kekahi. .
No laila, ʻo ka ʻolelo aʻoaʻo mua a mākou e manaʻo ai hiki iā mākou ke hāʻawi, ʻo ia ka mea aʻe: ma hope o ke kuhi hewa ʻana, makehewa ka koi ʻana, akā e ʻae i ka hōʻole ʻia ma ke ʻano hanohano a hanohano. I kēia manawa, hōʻike ke kanaka "friendzoned" iā lākou iho ʻelua koho ʻē aʻe i hiki: waiho i nā manaʻo o ke aloha, hoʻomau i noho hoa e mālama i ka pilina, i ke kali a me ka lana o ka manaʻo, i kekahi manawa lapuwale a i kekahi manawa hoʻokumu ʻia, i ka hala ʻana o ka manawa hiki i kekahi kanaka ʻē aʻe ke hoʻomohala i kahi ʻumeʻa aloha aloha, a i ʻole inā ʻaʻole hiki ke hoʻomanawanui ʻia ka ʻeha. e ʻōlelo maikaʻi a haʻalele, ʻoiai inā he manawa pōkole wale nō, aloha, e hana maikaʻi i ka hōʻole.
Other nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo maikaʻi e pili pono ana i ka Friendzone a, i nā hihia maikaʻi loa, ʻo nā mea lanakila a ʻaʻole nā mea eo, mai mākou mai ʻO Jeremy Nicholson, ʻAmelika noiʻi o ka psychology kaiaulu. I ka mea kikoʻī, ua ʻike ka haumana i kahi alakaʻi ola pōkole i ka ciia hoaaloha ma ka inoa o ka makasina ʻo Psychology Today, e hōʻike ana i nā ana aʻe i hiki ke loaʻa nā hāʻina:
- Hōʻike i ka hoihoi ʻole: i kēia ala, ʻaʻole e lawe ka hoa aloha āu e ʻoliʻoli nei a ʻo ʻoe, ma ka hōʻemi ʻana i kāu hōʻike "sentimental", e maʻalahi ia.
- E hōʻike liʻiliʻi iā ʻoe iho: no ka mea, e like me kā lākou e ʻōlelo nei, "maopopo ʻoe i ka waiwai o nā mea (poʻe) ke nalowale ʻoe iā lākou".
- Hana i ka hoʻokūkū, ʻo ia hoʻi, hoʻāʻo hana lili i kekahi kanaka cno laila, i ka hopena, hiki iā ia ke nīnau iā ia iho e pili ana i kona mau manaʻo a hoʻomaopopo e ʻike ʻo ia i kahi mea i ʻoi aku ma mua o ka launa aloha
- ʻO Ben Franklin hopena: ma loko o nā palena o ke aʻo ʻana, aʻoaʻo ʻo Nicholson i ka "friendzoned" e ulu nui i loko nā noi no nā makemake i ke kanaka āna i manaʻo ai. Ma ka hana ʻana pēlā, e ʻike ka hope i ke koʻikoʻi o ke kanaka āna e ʻae ai e hāʻawi i kāna kōkua, ʻoiai e hoʻokuʻu ka mea mua iā ia iho mai ke kūlana subordination a Friendzone i hāʻawi ai iā ia.
- Hoʻoikaika: ʻo ka ʻoluʻolu he mea kaua lanakila mau. ʻOkoʻa, pili i nā mea āpau ma ka noʻonoʻo ʻole.
I ka hopena, ke pili i nā manaʻo, paʻakikī e mālama i nā lula a me nā ʻōlelo aʻo no ka mea, ʻike ʻoe, "ʻaʻole kauoha ʻia ka puʻuwai". Eia nō naʻe, no ka pili hea ia, hoʻokahi wale nō hoʻolālā e holo pono ana a uku ʻia hoʻi mālamalama. Ke akāka nei mai ka hoʻomaka e pili ana i kou manaʻo e pili ana i kahi kanaka ʻē aʻe ka hopena lanakila e hōʻalo ai i nā kuhi hewa pinepine ʻole a me nā kaumaha kaumaha. No laila, e ʻoiaʻiʻo mau iā ʻoe iho, mai kāohi i kou mau manaʻo a mai kāohi i ka hilinaʻi i ka nani o ke aloha, ʻoiai a ʻoiai nā mea hoʻohoka.
Kumuhana ʻatikala Alfeminile
