"ʻO wai ka mea aloha ʻole i aloha ʻole i ka ʻike mua?" Kākau ʻo Christopher Marlowe. No nā makahiki, i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, manaʻo ʻia e hala ke aloha ma o nā maka a hoʻohui pono ʻole ʻia i ʻelua mau kānaka no ke koena o ko lākou ola. Eia nō naʻe kahi ala e ʻike ai i kēia manawa i mua o ke aloha ʻoiaʻiʻo? ʻO ka mea maopopo he ola ia kahi moʻo o nā manaʻo ka mea e hoʻomaopopo ai iā mākou inā e hina ana mākou i ke aloha ʻaʻole paha. Pili lākou i ka mea i kapa ʻia "aloha i ka maka mua"?
I ka makahiki 1999, he kiʻi ʻoniʻoni o ka pāʻaka Italia i hoʻokani ʻia e Vincenzo Salemme, kuleana Aloha i ka ʻike mua. Ma hope o nā hoʻololi like ʻole a kēlā aloha nui i haki ma waena o ʻelua mau mea nui i lilo i moeʻuhane a, no laila, he kuhi hewa. Kū hou kahi nīnau nui: aloha i ka maka mua, kēlā aloha koke e pua ma o ka nānā hoʻokahi, aia paha?
Aloha i ka ʻike mua: aia maoli nō?
E pili ana i nā manaʻo āpau, ʻo ke aloha a me kāna evolution āpau e pakele i hoʻokahi wehewehe, no laila ma ke aloha hopena i ka ʻike mua aia he mau nā manaʻo hakakā a me nā kuhiakau. ʻAʻole like me ka "crush" maʻalahi, he hoʻokahi ia ʻumeume ikaika i kū koke ma waena o nā kānaka ʻelua. ʻAʻole pili wale i ka ʻāpana kino ʻo ia nā hoʻowalewale moekolohe, akā ʻo ia kekahi ka noʻonoʻo ' ed manaʻo.
No laila, ʻelua ʻO Stephanie Cacioppo o ke Kulanui o Kikako ke ʻano o ka "transmission" o ke aloha i ka ʻike mua ʻia ka nana aku. E holo nō ia, no laila, e like me ka mea a nā haku mele stilnovist i ʻōlelo ai i ka wā waena: e hoʻomaka nā mea āpau mai nā maka. Hoʻouna ʻia ke kiʻi i ka lolo a laila hiki wale ka manaʻo i ka puʻuwai. ʻAʻole hiki ke hilinaʻi ʻia, akā ʻo ia ʻo ka lolo e aloha aloha!
A laila, e like me ka puke ʻO ka Neuroimaging o ke aloha di Stephanie Ortigue, he polofesa ma ke Kulanui ʻo Syracuse, hiki i kēia mau mea āpau ke lawe i kahi manawa liʻiliʻi liʻiliʻi, like ia ma lalo o ka ʻelima o kekonae like me ka ʻimo o ka maka! I loko o kēia manawa, hele mai nā hana kemika i nā mea e like meadrenalina, ka mea e hāʻawi iā mākou i kēlā manaʻo o ka maikaʻi a me ka hauʻoli, ka dopamine, a i 'ole ka hōmona o ka leʻaleʻa a me ka uku, kaʻoxytocin, aka kēlā o ke aloha.
Pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai i ke aloha i ka maka mua?
Me he mea lā ʻo ka mea makaʻu loa i kēia "haʻalulu" nā nā kāne. Ma ka liʻiliʻi 1 o 4 i ʻōlelo ua ʻike lākou i ke aloha i ka maka mua i hoʻokahi manawa i ko lākou ola. Eia nō naʻe, ʻaʻole nānā ʻole nā wahine iā ia, akā pono e maopopo he aha ka "hōʻailona”O ke aloha i ka ʻike mua. ʻO nā kuʻuna maʻamau nā mea i ʻike pinepine ʻia i nā kiʻi ʻoniʻoni aloha nui o ke kinima, e laʻa me:
- ʻIke i ka manaʻo o ka mea i kapa ʻia "butterflies i loko o ka ʻōpū".
- Ke ʻike ʻoe i kēlā kanaka, ʻano like kou puʻuwai haʻo i kahi kuʻi.
- ʻO ka ʻike wale ʻana iā ʻoe haʻalulu i kou mau lima a hou.
- Manaʻo hoʻokahi i nā manawa āpau manaʻo ikaika o ka euphoria .
- Kohu mea ʻoe ʻike i kēlā kanaka i mau makahiki, inā paha i komo wale i kou ola i kekahi mau minuke i hala.
- Makemake ʻoe e hoʻōho i ko ke ao holoʻokoʻa he aha kou manaʻo a makemake me kou puʻuwai āpau i kahi moʻolelo aloha maoli me ia.
- Kohu mea lā ma waenakonu o kou mau manaʻo āpau a manaʻo ʻoe iā ia / ʻoiai ʻaʻole ʻoe i manaʻo.
Aloha i ka maka mua? Eia pehea e hana ai!
Hāʻawi ʻia ke aloha i ka ʻike mua hiki ke kū a ua ʻike ka poʻe he nui ma hoʻokahi manawa i ko lākou ola, he kūlohelohe ke kahaha pehea e hana ai ke hiki mai. Ehia mau manawa a mākou i ʻike ai i kekahi ma ke alanui, i ka lawe kaʻa lehulehu a i ʻole i kahi lāʻau a mākou e makemake ai e nānā wale i kona mau maka. Hana pinepine ia, akā ʻo ka pilikia hana ʻole ʻoe. Manaʻo ʻoe i kēlā mea hoihoi e lana nei, e like me nā kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, kokoke ʻo ia a fneʻe mua. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, hiki ke hoʻokau i kekahi ʻano e hōʻike ai i ko mākou hoihoi i kēlā kanaka a ʻike inā he pane mai kekahi ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe.
- E kia i ka minoʻaka: inā ʻoe e hele mai e hana i ka ʻike i nā hiʻohiʻona, pono ia e hoʻomau i ka nānā iā ʻoe. No kēia, mai noho impassive, akā hōʻike kou minoʻaka maikaʻi loa. Ma ka minoʻaka ʻana, e wehewehe ʻoe i ka hoihoi a me ka ʻumeʻume o kāu ʻaoʻao pū kekahi.
- O' oe iho nō: inā kokoke ke kāne āu e aloha ai i ka ʻike mua, a laila ʻaʻole e paʻa i loko hilahila a i ʻoleka iini. ʻO ʻoe iho a hoʻāʻo e kamaʻāina.
- Mālama mau i ka maka maka ʻana: Ke hoʻomau ka hoihoi i ke kamaʻilio mua, he mea nui e nānā mau iā ʻoe aloha i ka maka mua. ʻO ka nānā, i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, hiki ke ʻōlelo i nā mea i ʻoi aku ma mua o nā huaʻōlelo, ka hopena mea ʻike nā manaʻo a i ka manawa like pohihihi a kupaianaha hoʻi.
ʻO ke aloha i ka ʻike mua a me ke aloha maoli
E like me ka mea i ʻōlelo ʻia, ʻo ke aloha i ka ʻike mua ke ʻano o kēia ʻumeume ikaika manaʻo kekahi mau mea ʻike ʻole ʻia kekahi i kekahi. He a hopena biokimia, ma muli hoʻi okalaiwa hoʻoipoipo, i i naʻau et al pōʻaiapili kahi o kēlā hālāwai mua. No kēia kumu ua ʻoi aku ka makemake i ka wehewehe o "aloha i ka maka mua", ʻO ke aloha i ka ʻike mua, no ka mea, kahakaha ia ka wikiwiki o ka hanana a ʻaʻole ka manaʻo iā ia iho.
Aloha 'oiaʻiʻoma kahi o, hele ʻoi aku ma mua o ka naʻau maoli a me ka kemika. Pono i ke aloha he mau koi e like me ka launa ʻana, ka pilina, kaʻana like ʻana a me ka hoʻokō ʻana, nā hiʻohiʻona āpau e koi ai manawa a me ka mālama i hiki ai iā lākou ke hana. ʻO ke aloha i ka ʻike mua kokoke loa i ka infatuation ma mua o ka hāʻule maoli ʻana i ke aloha. No ka lilo ʻana i aloha, pono ia i ka makemake e komo pū o nā hoa hana ʻelua a me kā lāua hoʻolaʻa ʻana. Ma kēia ala wale nō e huli ai ia hoʻohālua hikiwawe aloha nui i nā kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, hiki ke alakaʻi i kahi pilina i hiki ke mau no nā makahiki a me ka male.
