Ukuphila okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu akusiqinisi ngaso sonke isikhathi

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- Isikhangiso -

esperienze traumatiche

Kunensumansumane esabalele esike siyizwe sonke, ikakhulukazi uma sibhekene nobunzima: okungakubulali kuyakuqinisa. Ngaphandle kokungabaza i ukuqina yakhelwe phezu kwezinsika zokuhlangenwe nakho okunzima, lezo ezisiphoqa ukuba sithuthukise amandla ebesicabanga ukuthi asinawo noma asiqhube ngaphezu kwemingcele.

Kodwa ukuqina okuvela ezimeni ezinzima kungenye into, enye umthelela wengqondo izenzakalo ezibuhlungu ezingaba nazo. Eqinisweni, ucwaningo olusha luveze ukuthi izigameko ezibuhlungu azisenzi siqine ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ngezinye izikhathi kwenzeka okuphambene.

Okungakubulali akukuqinisi njalo

Ucwaningo olwenziwa eNyuvesi yaseTexas lwahlaziya idatha kubantu abangaphezu kuka-1.200 abasinde ekushintsheni kwesimo sezulu phakathi neminyaka engamashumi amabili. Wathola ukuthi amandla abantu engqondo ayancipha ngemva kokubhekana nezinhlekelele zemvelo nesimo sezulu esibi esikushintsha kakhulu ukuphila kwabo.

Lezi zazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zilandelele abantu abahlangabezane neziphepho, izikhukhula, isomiso, ubusika obudlulele, nezimo eziphuthumayo zezimboni endaweni yaseHouston phakathi kuka-2000 no-2020. Baphethe ngokuthi isisho sakudala esithi "okungabulali kwenza uqine" asisho ukuthi ilungile impela. Ngempela, impilo yengqondo ihlushwa nakakhulu umthelela okhulayo wezenzakalo ezibuhlungu. Kulezi zimo, inhlalakahle yengqondo yehla kakhulu.

- Isikhangiso -

Ucwaningo olufanayo olwenziwe e- Brown University bafinyelela esiphethweni esifanayo. Ngemva kokuhlaziya okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu kwabantu ngaphambi nangemva kokubhekana nokuzamazama komhlaba kwesithupha okunamandla kunawo wonke okurekhodiwe eChile, abacwaningi bathola ukuthi labo abake babhekana nezenzakalo ezibuhlungu zangaphambilini, njengokushonelwa othandekayo, maningi amathuba okuba babe nezinkinga zempilo.

Ezimweni eziningi, izimo ezibuhlungu zidala umuzwa we wafunda ukungabi namandla okwenza abantu babe sengozini enkulu yesehlakalo esilandelayo esibi. Ukudlula esehlakalweni esibuhlungu akusona isiqinisekiso sokuthi into efana nalena ngeke iphinde yenzeke. Uma lezi zimo ezicindezelayo zivela kaningi futhi sihluleka ukuzithola noma ukunqoba umthelela wazo, cishe zenza impilo yethu yengqondo ibe buthaka. Ukuhlukumezeka okuphindaphindiwe kuyahlanganisa futhi kuthuntubeze ukulinganisela kwethu ngokomzwelo.

Kafushane, izimo ezicindezela kakhulu zesikhathi esidlule, ezihlangatshezwa ngabanye noma ngokuhlanganyela, zingasenza sibe sengcupheni yokuhlukumezeka futhi zandise amathuba okuthuthukisa ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo, njengokucindezeleka, ukukhathazeka, ukucindezeleka kwangemva kokuhlukumezeka noma ukulutheka.

Singazivikela kanjani emthelela wezenzakalo ezibuhlungu?

Ngaphezu kwakho konke, kubalulekile ukuhlukanisa izimo ezicindezelayo ezilawulekayo nezinto ezibuhlungu esingakwazi ukuzisingatha. Izingcindezi ezilawulekayo ngokuvamile azibi kakhulu, okusivumela ukuthi sisebenzise amasu ahlukene okubhekana nesimo ukuze silawule isimo, ngaphandle kokweqa amakhono ethu. Lezi zimo zingaba namandla amakhulu okukhula ngoba ziyasiphoqa phuma endaweni yokunethezeka futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo abakhiqizi isimo sosizi olukhulu.

- Isikhangiso -

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, izimo ezihlukumezayo esingakwazi ukuzilawula zivame ukuba ngokwedlulele, njengokudlwengula, impi noma izinhlekelele zemvelo. Lezi zenzakalo azimane nje zisimangaze, kodwa zingase zisinqobe, zikhiqize izinga eliphezulu lokucindezeleka ngokomzwelo okusongela impilo yethu yengqondo futhi kuphazamise umbono wethu wezwe kanye nesistimu yenkolelo. Lezi zinhlobo zezehlakalo ezibuhlungu zinamandla amakhulu okubhubhisa, sizodinga isikhathi esengeziwe sokululama futhi singase sidinge usizo olungokwengqondo.

Kunoma yikuphi, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi lapho izinto zingahambi kahle, sivame ukukholelwa ukuthi okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu ngandlela-thile kuzokhuthaza ukuqina futhi kusisize sibe ngcono noma sibe namandla. Ngonyaka wokuqala walolu bhubhane, ngokwesibonelo, sasicabanga ukuthi "sizophuma sinamandla", kodwa akunjalo.

Kumele siqaphele ukuthi akuzona izimo ezihlukumezanayo ezishintshayo futhi zisiqinise, kodwa yindlela esibhekana ngayo nazo. Ukuhlupheka ngokwakho akulona uhlobo oluthile lokukhanyiselwa. Uma sifuna ubuhlungu bethu bube nomqondo, ukuthi bungakhuthaza ngandlela thize, sidinga ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi siyayithola incazelo futhi singazinikeli ekuhluphekeni silindele isambulo esiyimfihlakalo.

Asikwazi ukubalekela izehlakalo ezithile ezibuhlungu futhi izikhathi eziningi asikwazi ukuzivikela ekuhlukumezekeni ngokomzwelo, kodwa singazama njalo ukuthola incazelo kuzo ukuze sizifake ekulandiseni kwethu kwempilo futhi sikuvikele ekulimazini impilo yethu yengqondo.

Imithombo

Sansom, GT et. Al. (2022) Imithelela ehlanganisayo yokuchayeka kwezingozi empilweni yengqondo e-Houston, TX. Izingozi Zemvelo; 111: 2809-2818.

UFernandez, CA et. Al. (2020) Ukuhlola ubudlelwano phakathi kwezicindezelo zengqondo nokuqina kwengqondo phakathi kwabasinde enhlekeleleni yase-Chile. I-BJ Psych; 217 (5).


Umnyango Ukuphila okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu akusiqinisi ngaso sonke isikhathi yashicilelwa okokuqala ngo Ikhona lePsychology.

- Isikhangiso -