Kushushikana kwepamoyo, apo vamwe vanoderedza kana kufuratira manzwiro edu

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- Kushambadzira -

"Hazvina kushata", "haufanire kunzwa seizvi" o "Yasvika nguva yekuvhura peji". Aya ndiwo mamwe mazwi akajairwa anoitirwa kurerutsa kutambura asi ari kutadza kushanda. Kana vanhu vakakosha kwatiri vasingatinzwisise, asi vachideredza kana kutombozvidza manzwiro edu, isu hatisi chete kuwana rutsigiro rwepamoyo rwatinoda, asi tinokwanisa zvakare kunzwa setisingakwanise uye kana kubvunza kukosha kwemanzwiro edu.

Chii chinonzi kusagadzikana kwepamoyo?

Kushushikana kwepamoyo chiito chekuramba, kufuratira, kana kuramba pfungwa dzemunhu, manzwiro, kana maitiro. Inotumira meseji yekuti manzwiro ako haana basa kana haana kukodzera.

Kushushikana kwepamoyo kunogona kuzviratidza nenzira dzakasiyana. Vamwe vanhu vanoishandisa nemaune kushandisa vamwe nekuti vanoisa pasi pekufunga kwavo uye rudo kune iko kutumirwa kweumwe. Vamwe vanokanganisa vamwe mupfungwa vasingazvizivi.

Muchokwadi, pane dzakawanda nguva kusagadzikana kwepamoyo mhedzisiro yekuyedza kutifadza. Mitsara yakaita "Usazvidya moyo", "inguva yekuti ndizvigadzirise", "chokwadi yanga isiri iyo yakaipa", "uri kuwedzeredza", "Ini handione pane dambudziko" kana "haufanire unzwe saizvozvo " vane vavariro dzakanaka, asi mukati pasi vanokanganisa manzwiro ari kuita mumwe munhu.

- Kushambadzira -

Zviripachena, iyi haisi nzira yakanaka yekudzikamisa imwe pasi. Chaizvoizvo zvakapesana. Chidzidzo chakaitwa paHarvard University chakaratidza kuti vadzidzi vakaremara mushure mekuburitsa manzwiro avo panguva yekushushikana vakanzwa zvakanyanya uye vakaratidza kudavirira kwehukama.

Kune vamwe zvakare vanopomera mumwe nemumwe nekunzwa imwe nzira. Mitsara yakaita "You are too sensitive", "unotora zvese zvega" kana "unozvipa kukosha zvakanyanya" iwo mienzaniso yekusanzwisisika kwepfungwa umo munhu ari kutsvaga kunzwisisa uye rutsigiro anotsoropodzwa nekurambwa.

Ehezve, kusagadzikana kwepamoyo hakusi kungotaura chete. Kusava nehanya nemarwadzo emumwe kana kunetseka iri zvakare nzira yekumisa manzwiro ake. Kusaterera kana munhu achitaura nezvenyaya yakakosha kana kuzvideredza nemasaini kana maitiro ndiyo imwe nzira yekukanganisa.

Sei vanhu vachikanganisa manzwiro?

Kusagadzikana kwepfungwa kunowanzoitika kana tichitaura manzwiro edu kana kutaura nezve chiitiko. Ichokwadi ndechekuti vanhu vazhinji vanove vakaremara nekuti havakwanise kugadzirisa manzwiro avari kupiwa nemumwe.

Kusimbiswa kwepfungwa kunosanganisira imwe nhanho yekunzwira tsitsi kana empathic resonance. Zvinoreva kuziva nzira yekuzviisa iwe mune shangu dzemumwe munhu, kumunzwisisa uye kurarama manzwiro ake. Pane dzakawanda nguva, manzwiro aya anogona kunge akakurisa kumunhu kana kungoita seusingafadzi, nenzira inozviramba uye, pamwe nazvo, kuita kuti munhu ari kusangana navo asabatike.

Muchokwadi, hazvigone kufuratirwa kuti isu tinorarama munharaunda yakasakadza zvakadzama kubva kune yekunzwa maonero umo nyika dzakashata dzinoonekwa se "chipingamupinyi" apo chikonzero chinonamatwa. Mune nzanga inokurudzira kufambira mberi nekukasira, uko hedonism inonamatwa uye kutambura kunotsvakwa kuvanda nekuti kunounza kushungurudzika kwakanyanya, hazvishamise kuti vanhu vazhinji vari kutadza kubata kwavo kwakashata uye vasingakwanise kurarama.


Mune zvimwe zviitiko, kushomeka kunoguma kubva kumunhu ari kunyanya kubatikana nematambudziko avo kuti abve pamaonero avo vozviisa mune dzimwe shangu. Zvinogona kunge kuti munhu uyu ari kunyatso kuva nenguva yakaoma uye akaneta zvekuti haakwanise kupa kugutsikana kwepamoyo. Kana ivo vanogona kungova ivo vanozvida zvakanyanya vanhu kuti vatarise pamanzwiro eumwe neumwe.

Migumisiro yekusagadzikana kwepfungwa

• Zvinetso mukugadzirisa manzwiro

Kusagadzikana kwepfungwa kunowanzo gadzira kuvhiringidzika, kusahadzika uye kusavimba nemanzwiro edu. Kana tikataura zvatinonzwa, munhu wepedyo uye ane chinangwa anotiudza kuti hatifanire kuzvinzwa, tinogona kutanga kusavimba chokwadi chezviitiko zvedu. Nekudaro, kubvunza manzwiro edu hakuzoite kuti anyangarike, zvinongoita kuti zviome isu kuti tizvidzore zvine mutsindo.

Chokwadi, zvakawanikwa kuti kana kushomeka kuchitadzisa kutaura kwekutanga manzwiro, senge kusuwa, zvinowanzo kutungamira mukuwedzera kwemamwe manzwiro senge kutsamwa uye kunyara. Chidzidzo chakaitwa paUniversity yeWashington chakaratidza kuti vanhu vatova neyakaoma kudzora manzwiro avo vanowanzoita nehasha kana vasingagamuchire kushushikana kwekusuruvara.

• Kuonekwa kwekushushikana kwepfungwa

Kushushikana kwepfungwa kunogona kupa kune munhu akafanotarisirwa kuve nezvinetso zvehutano hwepfungwa senge kushushikana kana kuwedzera zviratidzo. Kana kushomeka kwacho kukauya kubva padenderedzwa repedyo uye iri maitiro anozvidzokorora nekufamba kwenguva, munhu iyeye anodzidza kudzvinyirira manzwiro avo, anozopedzisira avakanganisa. Iwe zvakare unogona kunge uchinzwa zvakanyanya kusurukirwa uye kusanzwisiswa. Muchokwadi, chidzidzo chakaitwa ku Wayne State University yakaratidza kuti kusagadzikana kwemumwe wako nenzira yakarongeka kunogona kufanotaura kutaridzika kwemufananidzo unoshungurudza.

- Kushambadzira -

Nyanzvi yezvepfungwa Marsha M. Linehan anotenda kuti kukanganisika kwepfungwa kunogona kunyanya kukuvadza vanhu vanotambura mupfungwa. Ndokunge, avo vakanyanya kubata vanoita nekusimba kwakanyanya uye vanoona zvichinetsa kuwana zvakajairika. Muzviitiko izvi, kuudzwa kuti mhinduro dzemanzwiro hadzisi idzo uye hadzina kufanira kunogona kukonzera kushushikana kwepfungwa.

Muchokwadi, zvakawanikwa zvakare kuti vanhu vakatambura nekuremara kwepamoyo muhudiki hwavo vanowanzo shungurudzika kubva kumuganhu hunhu kusagadzikana, kunozivikanwa nekushushikana, kushushikana kwekushushikana, kusingaperi kwekunzwa kwekusakosha, uye matambudziko ekugadzirisa manzwiro. Muvachiri kuyaruka, kukanganisika kwepfungwa kwakabatanidzwa nenjodzi yakawedzera yekuzvikuvadza.

Maitiro ekugadzirisa manzwiro?

Isu tinofanirwa kugara tichifunga kuti maitiro emanzwiro kuzviitiko haana kumbobvira akajeka kana kushata. Chingave chisina kukodzera kutaura kwavo, asi kwete chitarisiko chavo. Naizvozvo, hapana chikonzero chekushora, kufuratira kana kuramba manzwiro, chero akakosha zvakadii.

Kuti tione manzwiro emumwe munhu, isu tinofanirwa kutanga tavhura isu kuzviitiko zvavo. Izvi zvinoreva kuve anoda kunyatsoteerera uye kuvapo zvizere. Tinofanira kuisa parutivi zvese zvinokanganisa uye kuyedza kubatana nemanzwiro.

Zvinoreva zvakare kuve takagadzirira kuisa matambudziko edu parutivi panguva iyoyo kuti tikwanise kuyedza kunzwira tsitsi yemunhu ari pamberi pedu.

Chekupedzisira, zvinosanganisira kushandisa kusimbisa uye kunzwisisa mutauro mune mitsara yakafanana "Zvingave zvakaipisisa" kunyangarika kugadzira nzira ye "Ndine urombo nezvakaitika kwauri", zvinoreva "Zvinotaridza kuodza moyo" panzvimbo ye "Uri kuwedzeredza" o "Chii chandingaite kuti ndikubatsire?" panzvimbo ye "unofanira kuzvikunda ”.

Kusimbisa kwepamoyo hunyanzvi hwekudzidza. Isu tinongoda kuve vanoshivirira uye vanonzwisisa.

Zvinyorwa:

Adrian, M. et. Al. (2019) Yekusimbisa Yevabereki uye Invalidation Kufanotaura Kwevachidiki Kuzvikuvadza. Prof Psychol Res Pr; 49 (4): 274-281.

Keng, S. & Sho, C. (2018) Sangano pakati pekusagadzikana kwehucheche uye muganhu hunhu hunhu: kuzvibata pamwe nekuenderana sezvinhu zvinoyera. Borderline Hunhu Dambudziko uye Emotion Dysregulation; 5: 19.

Leong, LEM, Cano, A. & Johansen, AB (2011) Sequential uye yepasi chiyero ongororo yekushushikana kwepfungwa uye kusagadzikana mune kusingaperi kwevakaroora vane kurwadziwa: Varwere vevakadzi vane hutano. Journal of Pain; 12: 1140 -1148.

Fruzzetti, AE & Shenk, C. (2008) Kukurudzira kugadzirisa mhinduro mumhuri. Basa Rezvemagariro muhutano hwepfungwa; 6: 215-227.

Fruzzetti, AE, Shenk, C. & Hoffman, PD (2005) Kufambidzana kwemhuri uye kusimudzira kwemuganhu hunhu kusagadzikana: Iyo transactional modhi. Kuvandudza uye Psychopathology; 17: 1007-1030.

Linehan, MM (1993) Kufungisisa-maitiro ekurapa emuganho hunhu kusagadzikana. New York: Guilford Press.

Kupinda Kushushikana kwepamoyo, apo vamwe vanoderedza kana kufuratira manzwiro edu yakatanga kubudiswa muna Kona yePsychology.

- Kushambadzira -
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