Udindo wokhudzidwa, sikulakwa kwanu kapena kwanga koma tonse tili ndi udindo

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- Kutsatsa -

Mgulu lodzikweza komanso lodzikonda, maubwenzi amadzimadzi akuwopseza kuti akhale muyeso watsopano, mulingo wazomangira zosalimba zomwe zimalimbikitsa chizolowezi chothawa zinthu zikalakwika. M'malo amenewo, kukhudzidwa mtima sikupezeka kawirikawiri. Komabe, ngati tikufuna kukhazikitsa maubwenzi okhwima, okwaniritsa komanso okwaniritsa, tiyenera kukhala ndi malingaliro okhudzidwa.


Kodi udindo wamalingaliro ndi chiyani?

Udindo wokhudzidwa ndi kuzindikira kwathunthu za zomwe mawu athu ndi zochita zathu zimakhudza ena. Zimaphatikizaponso kuzindikira kuti mayendedwe athu ali ndi zotsatirapo pamalingaliro a ena, ngakhale ali abwino kapena olakwika.

Chifukwa chake, lingaliro ili limatipangitsa kuti titenge ubale womwe timakhazikitsa ngati malo omwe aliyense amatengera zochita ndi zosankha za mnzake. Izi zimatitsogolera ku ubale waulemu komanso wachifundo ndi zomwe ena angamve, m'malo mongonyalanyaza momwe timakhudzira omwe atizungulira.

Lingaliro lazakukhudzidwa silimangotanthauza kusintha kwa ena kapena kuyika zosowa zawo patsogolo pazathu, koma kumangoyesetsa kukhazikitsa ubale wofanana, wolemekezeka komanso wowonekera, kutengera kuzindikira kuti tonse tili ndi kuthekera kopatsa chidwi mwa ena, komanso monga ena, amatha kutipangitsa kutengeka.

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Kuzindikira kumeneku ndi komwe kumatilola kuti tizilumikizana modekha, kulemekeza enawo, ndikukula kuti tikwaniritse udindo wathu ndikukonza zolakwika zathu.

Kusiyanitsa kwakukulu pakati pamaudindo amalingaliro ndi malingaliro amalingaliro

Udindo wothandiza ndiwotsutsana ndi kuyerekezera kwamaganizidwe. Tikamapanga projekiti timaganizira motere: "Ndinu amene mumayang'anira momwe ndimamvera" o "Ndili ndi udindo wamomwe mukumvera". Zotsatira zake, izi zimabweretsa kudzimva waliwongo, kulumikizana kopanda thanzi, kudalira kwamalingaliro ndi machitidwe owongolera.

Kuyerekeza kwamaganizidwe ndi lupanga lakuthwa konsekonse. Titha kuchigwiritsa ntchito kudziimba tokha chifukwa cha momwe ena akumvera kapena kudzudzula ena momwe timamvera.

Tikaganiza zamalingaliro am'maganizo, timakhala ndiudindo wamomwe ena akumvera, mpaka pomwe timaganiza kuti cholinga chathu ndikuwapangitsa kukhala achimwemwe ndi kuthetsa ululu wawo. Kumbali inayi, tikamaganiza zakukhudzidwa ndi nkhawa, timada nkhawa za chisangalalo cha winayo ndikuyesera kuchepetsa mavuto ake momwe tingathere, koma tikudziwa kuti kulemera kumeneku sikugwera kwathunthu pamapewa athu.

Tikhozanso kulakwitsa kufotokoza malingaliro athu kwa ena, kuwayankha chifukwa cha momwe timamvera. Chifukwa chake timalipira udindo wawo kuti atisangalatse ndipo timawaimba mlandu pazotipweteka. Mbali inayi, ngati tili ndi chidwi ndi malingaliro, timamvetsetsa momwe ena amatikhudzira, koma timazindikira kuti tili ndi mphamvu yosintha malingaliro amenewo. Chifukwa chake tichotse zolakwazo pa equation.

Sitingathe kuwongolera zochitika, koma titha kuwongolera momwe tikumvera

Wafilosofi Aaron Ben-Zeev adalongosola kuti nthawi zambiri zomwe zimangokhalapo zokha zimatipangitsa kukhulupirira kuti siife amene tili nawo. Koma chowonadi ndichakuti, tili ndi mphamvu pamalingaliro athu ndipo titha kuzigwiritsa ntchito kukonza ubale wathu ndi ena komanso ndi ife eni.

Kukhumudwa sikungapeweke, koma titha kudziwa tikakumana nako ndikuwona momwe zimakhudzira anthu omwe timacheza nawo. Kusazindikira kuwonongeka komwe timayambitsa sikuchotsa. Tikhozanso kumvetsetsa momwe ena amakhudzira malingaliro athu.

Izi zikutanthawuza kuvomereza kukumana ndi zochitika zina zomwe zimatha kubweretsa malingaliro osasangalatsa, kotero kuti m'malo modzipereka kuti tipeze olakwa kapena kudandaula, tiyenera kudziwonetsera tokha mtsogolo ndikudzifunsa zomwe tingachite kuti tisinthe. Kodi tingayankhe bwanji molimbika? Kodi tingatani kuti tichepetse kuwonongeka? Ndizokhudza kukhazikitsa njira yolimbikitsira.

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Pamapeto pake, tili ndi mphamvu zosankha maudindo omwe tikufuna kuchita. Tiyenera kupewa malingaliro otere "si vuto langa", pamene makamaka titha kukhala othandizira ndi malingaliro "Ndiyenera kuchita kena kake" pomwe sitingathe kuthandiza.

Udindo wokhudzidwa sikungokhala gawo limodzi

Popeza udindo wamalingaliro umaphatikizapo kumvetsetsa zomwe wina aliyense akuchita, pamafunika kudzipereka mbali zonse. Mukakumana ndi zovuta kapena zosemphana, ndikofunikira kukwaniritsa mgwirizano womwe mbali iliyonse imachita udindo wawo.

Pachifukwa ichi, ndikofunikira kukhazikitsa kulumikizana modekha. Tiyenera kufotokoza momwe timamvera, zomwe tikufuna, zomwe zimativuta, komanso zomwe tikuyembekezera komanso malingaliro athu. Kulankhula momveka bwino za momwe timamvera kumakhazikika kwambiri ndikupanga milatho yothetsera kusamvana.

Kuyankhulana molimbika kumeneku komwe kumayang'ana pakupanga mapangano kuyenera kukhala kowonekera, koma nthawi zonse kumaganizira malingaliro ndi zofuna za winayo. Tiyenera kumvetsetsa kuti ubale umapangidwa ndi anthu opitilira m'modzi, zomwe zitha kuwoneka ngati zowona, koma zitha kupewa mikangano yambiri. Tiyenera kukumbukira kuti siife tokha omwe tikukhala padziko lapansi ndikuyamba kukhala achifundo mwa kudziyikira tokha.

Inde, udindo wamalingaliro sikutanthauza kuchita bwino, zomwe sizingatheke. M'malo mwake, ndizokhudza kuchita zinthu mwachidwi komanso mwaulemu, kugwiritsa ntchito zokambirana, kulingalira tisanalankhule kapena kuchitapo kanthu ndikutenga zotsatira zamomwe tikumvera.

Sichithandizo chozizwitsa chakumva kupweteka komanso kusamvana pakati pa anthu. Kuthekera kovulaza ena kapena kupwetekedwa nthawi zonse kumachitika. Ngakhale kusamvana sikudzatha ngati matsenga.

Udindo wothandiza umangotithandiza kuti tisiye kuthana ndi mavuto potenga mlandu kapena kuwunena. Udindo umabwera m'malo mwa kulakwa, kuti mikangano ikhale mwayi woti timvetsetse bwino, kuchokera pamalo ovuta kwambiri.

Malire:

Johns, N. ndi. Al. (2016) Kukula Kwamaganizidwe ndi Kusungulumwa Monga Maubwenzi Okhutiritsa Moyo Pakati pa Achinyamata. IRA-International Journal of Management & Sayansi Yachikhalidwe; 3 (3): 558-567.

Roberts, T. (2015) Kukhudzika Mtima ndi Udindo. Makhalidwe Abwino ndi Makhalidwe Abwino; 18: 487-500.

Pakhomo Udindo wokhudzidwa, sikulakwa kwanu kapena kwanga koma tonse tili ndi udindo idasindikizidwa koyamba mu Pakona ya Psychology.

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