“Wamalonda wachichepere wa ku Boston akuti anagwidwa ndi kutentha kwa kuthamangitsidwa kwa golidi ku California. Pofunitsitsa kuti apeze ndalama zambiri, anagulitsa zinthu zonse zimene anali nazo n’kupita ku mitsinje imene amati munali miyala yagolide yaikulu kwambiri moti munthu wina analephera kunyamula.
Tsiku lina, atatha tsiku lotopetsa komanso losatha, mnyamatayo analowetsa msefe wake mumtsinje ndipo anatuluka wopanda kanthu. Mphotho yake yokha inali mulu wa miyala.
Atalefulidwa kwambiri pambuyo pa kufunafuna kosaphula kanthu kwa milungu ingapo, anali wokonzeka kugonja, koma nthaŵi yomweyo munthu wodziŵa kukumba golide anafika ndi kuloza mulu wa miyala umene anaunjika.
Mnyamatayo anayankha mwaukali kuti: ‘Ndi mulu chabe wa miyala, palibe golide pano. Anandinyenga. Ndikupita kunyumba.'
Munthu wachikulireyo anayandikira mulu wa miyalayo n’kumwetulira kuti: ‘Pali golide wambiri pano, mungofunika kudziwa kumene mungamupeze. Iye anagwada n’kutenga miyala iwiri n’kuiphwanya. Imodzi inatsegulidwa kuti iwonetse madontho ochepa a golide mkati mwake.
Mnyamatayo anayang’ana chikwama chachikopa chotupa chimene mwamuna wokalambayo ananyamula n’kunena mowawidwa mtima kuti: ‘Ndikuyang’ana timadontho tating’ono ting’onoting’ono ngati ta m’thumba mwako, osati timadontho tating’ono.
Mkuluyo adamwetuliranso, natsegula chikwama chake ndikumuwonetsa mnyamatayo. Atayang'ana m'katimo, sanaone timadontho tating'ono ting'ono koma masauzande a golide.
'Mwana wanga, zikuwoneka kwa ine kuti watanganidwa kufunafuna ma nuggets akulu, kotero kuti sunazindikire kuti mutha kudzaza kale chikwama chanu ndi timitengo tamtengo wapatali tagolide' - ndipo adachokapo.
Msampha wa kugonjera chisangalalo ku zotsatira zazikulu
M'moyo, nthawi zambiri timakhala ngati wachinyamata wokumba golide. Timayang'ana kwambiri pakusintha kwakukulu, kupambana kwakukulu, kapena kusintha kosokoneza kotero kuti timanyalanyaza zinthu zazing'ono m'moyo, zomwe ndi maziko olimba omanga chimwemwe.
M'malo mwake, nthawi zambiri timayika chisangalalo "pa pause". Tikuganiza kuti tidzakhala osangalala tikafika kukwezedwa komwe tikufuna, ntchito yamaloto athu, kukhala ndi bwenzi labwino kapena nyumba yabwino. Izi zikufanana ndi kubweza chimwemwe chathu pamene tikuchipereka ku maloto omwe angachitike - kapena ayi.
Nthawi zambiri timathera nthawi yochuluka ndi khama kukonzekera ndikugwira ntchito kuti tikwaniritse zolinga zazikulu zomwe timayiwala kuti chimwemwe chimakhala muzinthu zazing'ono zomwe zili panjira. Ngati tilephera kusangalala ndi ulendowo, n’zoonekeratu kuti tikafika kumene tikupita ndi kukwaniritsa zimene tagwira ntchito mwakhama, tidzasangalala kwa kanthaŵi kochepa chabe kotsatiridwa ndi kudzimva kukhala opanda kanthu kumene kumatisonkhezera kuyambiranso njira yopita ku ulendowo. kukwaniritsa cholinga chatsopano chomwe - tikukhulupirira kuti nthawi ino zikhala choncho - zidzatisangalatsa.
Vuto ndilakuti maganizo amenewa amatitsekera m’mavuto. Motero timasandutsa chisangalalo kukhala mtundu wa mirage; zikuwoneka zenizeni, koma tikayandikira ndikumaganiza kuti tafika, zimakhala zachidule ndikuzimiririka. Pachifukwachi, m'malo mothamangitsa mirage kuti mbali yabwino ya moyo, ndi bwino kuyamba kuganizira zazing'ono. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti tisakhale ndi zolinga ndi maloto, koma tiyenera kuonetsetsa kuti timayesetsa kukhala osangalala pamene tikuyesetsa kukwaniritsa.
Pachifukwa ichi, kafukufuku yemwe adachitika ku California State University anamaliza kuti ngakhale "Kutsata zolinga kumakwaniritsa kufunikira kwathu kuti tikwaniritse tokha ngati munthu", m'malo moti "Kuti tiyang'ane kwambiri pa zotsatira zomwe tikutsatira, ndizopindulitsa kwambiri kukhala ndi chidwi chokwanira komanso kuzindikira nthawi yomwe ilipo, ndikuganizira za njira yokwaniritsira zolingazo." M’mawu ena, tisaiwale kusangalala ndi zimene tili nazo panopa.
Makiyi atatu opezera chisangalalo muzinthu zazing'ono m'moyo
Zambiri za moyo wathu zimakhala ndi zochitika zosavuta zomwe sizidziwika, mwina chifukwa cha zochitika zawo za tsiku ndi tsiku kapena chifukwa, kuzitenga mopepuka, timakhulupirira kuti zidzakhalapo kwamuyaya, zomwe zimatilepheretsa kuzindikira kufunika kwake. Momwe mungapezerenso chisangalalo muzinthu zazing'ono m'moyo?
1. Kumva ndi kuzindikira dziko ndi maso a mwana
Pambuyo pazaka zambiri za chikhalidwe cha anthu komanso zaka za moyo zomwe zimayang'ana kwambiri kukwaniritsa zolinga zathu, ndizovuta kupezanso chisangalalo muzinthu zazing'ono. Pachifukwachi, malo abwino oyambira ndikutenga chitsanzo kuchokera kwa ana chifukwa ali ndi luso lapadera lopeza chisangalalo m'zinthu zosavuta.
Ndikofunikira kuti tidzipatse tokha chilolezo chokhalanso ndi moyo monga momwe tinalili ana, kulola zodabwitsa ndi chidwi kubwerera kusefukira chilichonse m'njira yawo. Mwacitsandzo, tinakwanisa kucita pinafuna ife kupfundza ife tikhali ang’ono.
2. Chotsani kulumikizana ndi zomwe zili zofunika
Tikukhala mofulumira kwambiri. Chifukwa chokhazikika mu chipwirikitichi, timasowa nthawi yoyang'ana uku ndi uku. Komabe, kuti tiyamikire tinthu tating'ono m'moyo tiyenera kuphunzira kukanikiza batani la "pause". Tiyenera kuima ndikuvomereza kukhalapo kwa mphindi ino, pano ndi pano.
Mwachitsanzo, pamene tikugwira ntchito, tingapume kuti timvetsere dzuwa, malo amene timaona, kapena kafungo ka khofi kapena tiyi. Izi zimatithandiza kubwezeretsa mphamvu ndi kutidzaza ndi positivity. Momwemonso, ndikofunikira kusiya kulumikizana pang'ono ndiukadaulo kuti tilumikizane ndi dziko lotizungulira komanso tokha. Kenako “chozizwitsa” chimachitika: tikamadula kwambiri, ndipamene timatha kulumikizana ndi zomwe zimatisangalatsa.
3. Sungani buku lothokoza
Kuyamikira ndi chimodzi mwa malingaliro omwe amatsegula chitseko cha chisangalalo. Pachifukwa ichi, ndikofunikira kuti musatenge chilichonse mopepuka ndikupeza nthawi yoyang'ana pozungulira ndikukuthokozani. Zotsatira za kuthokoza akhoza kusintha kwambiri moyo wathu, kutithandiza kuzindikira zonse zomwe tachita kapena zozizwitsa zazing'ono zomwe timasangalala nazo tsiku ndi tsiku.
Pali zinthu zambiri zoyamikirira, kuyambira kungopuma wekha mpaka kutha kuyenda, kuwona, kumva, kapena kudzuka tsiku lililonse. Kutha kupanga nthawi zosaiŵalika ndi abwenzi ndi abale, kukonda ndi kukondedwa, kusangalala ndi tsiku ladzuwa komanso kusangalala ndi usiku wowala mwezi; zonsezi ndi zinthu zatsiku ndi tsiku zomwe, komabe, zimatilola ife kudzimasula tokha ku kusakhutira ndi kutaya mtima, zomwe zimatithandiza kudyetsa maganizo athu ndi kuyang'anizana ndi moyo ndi mtima woyembekezera.
Pamene tizolowera kuyamika tinthu tating'ono m'moyo, timakhala tikuyesetsa kukhala ndi chizolowezi chopeza chisangalalo mwatsatanetsatane, ndipo ndiko kusintha kothandiza.
Chitsime:
Teranishi, C. et. Al. (2020) Kutsata Zolinga Posaka Chimwemwe: Phunziro Lophatikiza-Njira Yosiyanasiyana ya Ubwino. Psi Chi Journal ya Psychological Research; 25:245-259 .
Pakhomo Nkhaniyi ikutiphunzitsa kuti chimwemwe chili m’zinthu zazing’ono idasindikizidwa koyamba mu Pakona ya Psychology.
