Zinthu zoipa zikatichitikira m'moyo wathu watsiku ndi tsiku, kuyambira chindapusa mpaka kukangana ndi mnzathu, sichachilendo kuti tizikhumudwa, kukwiya kapena kukwiya. Ngati sitingathe kulimbana ndi malingaliro amenewo, amatha kulimbikitsana, kotero kuti tikafika kunyumba, tidzakhala mtolo wa malingaliro olakwika ndi okhazikika. Izi, ndithudi, zingasokoneze ubale wa okwatiranawo. Komabe, pali njira yothetsera vutoli: kunena zomwe zidatichitikira.
Kugawana zokumana nazo zoipa kumabweretsa okondedwa wanu pafupi
Akatswiri a zamaganizo ochokera ku yunivesite ya Jena adalemba anthu okwatirana 100 azaka zapakati pa 20 ndi 80. Aliyense wa banjali poyamba adavotera kuti ubale wawo unali woyandikana bwanji kenako adachita nawo kafukufuku watsiku ndi tsiku kwa milungu itatu.
Munthu aliyense adalandira zidziwitso kuti amalize kafukufuku pa foni yake yam'manja, kasanu ndi kamodzi patsiku kwa masiku 15. Pakafukufukuyu, adayenera kuwonetsa ngati adakumana ndi chochitika "chosasangalatsa kwambiri" komanso ngati adalankhulapo ndi wokondedwa wawo.
Anasonyezanso mmene analili okwiya, okhumudwa, ogwiritsidwa mwala, komanso amantha ndipo anasonyezanso mmene ankamvera mumtima mwawo ndi mnzawoyo panthawiyo. M’milungu itatu imeneyo, anthu anavomereza kuti 57 peresenti ya nthaŵiyo amauza wokondedwa wawo za mavuto awo.
Ofufuzawa adapeza kuti amuna adapeza phindu lalikulu pouza okondedwa awo za chochitika chosasangalatsa, chifukwa pambuyo pake adanenanso kuti alibe vuto lililonse. Ponseponse, otenga nawo mbali adanenanso kuti ali pafupi kwambiri ndi mnzawoyo atawauza za chochitika chosasangalatsa kapena kumvetsera zomwe adakumana nazo.
Patatha zaka ziwiri ndi theka, ofufuzawo adalumikizananso ndi maanjawa kuti aunikenso ubale wawo. Choncho, adapeza kuti kugawana zovuta zazing'ono za tsiku ndi tsiku ndi mnzanu zimakhala ndi zotsatira zabwino kwa nthawi yaitali: omwe nthawi zonse amafotokozerana zoipa zomwe akumana nazo adanena kuti akuwonjezeka kuyandikana panthawiyo, koma maanja omwe sanagawanepo zochitikazi. kuchepa kwa kuyandikana kwamalingaliro.
Kodi mungalimbikitse bwanji ubale wa banja? Chinsinsi chake ndi chakuti onse amagawana mavuto awo
Kunena za mavuto athu, m’malo mongowaganizira mwakachetechete, kuli ndi ubwino wambiri. Kumbali ina, imatithandiza kumasula mikangano pochita ngati potulukira. Kugawana zomwe takumana nazo kumatithandiza kumasula mkwiyo, chisoni kapena kusapeza bwino komwe kwabwera chifukwa cha zochitikazi, kotero kuti malingaliro athu amasintha. Ili ndi mphamvu ya cathartic.
Izi zidzateteza kusagwirizana kwamaganizo kuti zisapitirire kukula, motero kuchepetsa kwambiri mwayi wotsutsana ndi wokondedwa wathu kapena kupitirira kusagwirizana pang'ono.
Kumbali ina, kugawana zokumana nazo zoyipa za tsiku ndi tsiku ndi mnzanu ndi chizindikiro cha kukhulupirirana, kotero ndizomveka kuti pakapita nthawi izi zidzatsogolera kuyandikana kwambiri. Tikamauza wokondedwa wathu za mavuto athu, momwe amatikhudzira ndi zomwe timaganiza za iwo, timawalola kuti alowe m'dziko lathu lamkati. Timawalola kuti atidziwe bwino. M'kupita kwa nthawi, izi zimapanga mgwirizano waukulu ndikulimbitsa mgwirizano wamaganizo.
Koma kuti zitheke, onse awiri ayenera kumasuka. Ofufuzawo anapeza kuti kuyandikana kunachepetsedwa pamene m’modzi yekha wa anthuwo anasimba zowawa zawo zoipa.
Choncho, ndikofunika kugawana mavuto, nkhani zoipa kapena nkhawa ndi wokondedwa wathu. Ngati munthu ameneyo samatimvera kapena nthawi zonse amanyoza zomwe takumana nazo, amaganiza kuti ali ndi maganizo kulephera kwamalingaliro kuti, posachedwa kapena mtsogolo, adzamanga khoma pakati pa ife awiri.
Kumbali ina, ngati onse aŵiri aŵiriwo ali okhoza kumvetserana, kumvera chisoni mavuto awo, kuwathandiza kupeza njira zothetsera mavuto awo kapena kungowachirikiza, ubwenziwo ukhoza kukhala wolimba.
"Kugawana mavuto a tsiku ndi tsiku kumathandiza maanja kukonza njira zawo zothandizirana ndikukhala ndi chidziwitso chogawana chomwe chimathandizira kulumikizana kwa wina ndi mnzake pamalingaliro, zolinga, ndi zochita pakukambirana mtsogolo," malinga ndi ofufuzawa. Chotsatira chake, zotsatira za kusinthanitsa kumeneko zimatha kukula pakapita nthawi, kulimbikitsa ubale wabwino.
Chitsime:
Rauers, A. et. Al. (2022) Kumasuka M'malingaliro Kapena Zomangira Zomwe Zimamanga? Mtengo ndi Ubwino Wowulula Zovuta Zatsiku ndi Tsiku mu Mgwirizano. Psychological Social and Personality Science; 10.1177.
Pakhomo Kodi mukufuna kulimbikitsa ubale wanu ngati banja? Uzani mnzanu za tsiku lanu loipa idasindikizidwa koyamba mu Pakona ya Psychology.
