Tonsefe tidadzimva osatetezeka nthawi ina m'moyo wathu. Mwinanso mwakhala mukumva kuti mulibe nkhawa kangapo. Mwina mumadzimva kuti ndinu wopanda nkhawa nthawi yoyamba yomwe munayendetsa galimoto, mukamakhoza mayeso osaphunzira mokwanira, kapena musanapange chisankho chachikulu pamoyo wanu.
Kusatetezeka ndikumverera komwe kumatichenjeza kuti titha kulakwitsa. Tikakayikira za njira yomwe tingatsatire, tikhoza kukhala ndi nkhawa zina. Kusatetezeka kumeneku nthawi zambiri kumatsagana ndi kudzimva kukhala wopanda nkhawa komanso kupsinjika komwe kumatha kufikira kwakukulu.
Ngati sitingathe kuthana ndi kudzikayikira, zipitilira kukula mkati mwathu, kutifooketsa. Anthu ambiri amakhala osatetezeka kwazaka zambiri, kuwalola kuwongolera zisankho zawo, kuchepetsa zomwe angathe, ndikuwadzetsera kukhumudwa, kudziimba mlandu komanso nkhawa.
Mitundu 5 yosavomerezeka
Kusatetezeka ndichinthu chomwe chimakhudza kwambiri munthu, chifukwa chake pali mitundu yambiri yazodzikika monga pali anthu. Kusatetezeka kumatha kubwera kuchokera kumagulu osiyanasiyana ndikufalikira kumadera angapo amoyo wathu kapena kungofalikira kwathunthu. Koma pali mitundu yodziwika bwino yachitetezo chaumwini yomwe imakhala maziko omwe kukayika konse, mikangano komanso kusatsimikizika kumayamba.
1. Kusatetezeka mu ubale wapakati
Kusatetezeka kotere kumadza chifukwa choopa kuti ena atipweteka kapena kutikhumudwitsa, chifukwa chake sitimalola kupita kwathunthu muubwenzi, koma timangokhala patali. Mtunda umenewo umakhala ngati chishango chomwe chimatiteteza "otetezedwa", koma chimasunganso ena kukhala kutali.
Anthu omwe ali osatetezeka mu ubale wawo sakufuna kuwonetsa zovuta zawo ndipo samakhulupirira ena kwathunthu. Zotsatira zake, amakhala ndiubwenzi wopitilira muyeso momwe samalola winayo - kaya ndi mnzake, mnzake wapamtima, kapena ana kapena makolo - kuti ayandikire kwambiri kuti miyoyo iwiri ichitike.
Kusatetezeka mu ubale wapakati kumadza chifukwa chodzipewera. Munthuyo amavutika kufotokoza zomwe akumva ndipo amawopa kukondana, choncho akawona kuti mnzake akuyandikira kwambiri, amachoka. Kusatekeseka komanso kusakhulupiriraku kumatha kubweretsa kusungika ndi kusakhulupilirananso, kulepheretsa kukhazikitsa maziko olimba oti ubale ubala zipatso.
2. Kusatetezeka pagulu
Munthu amene akukumana ndi kusungulumwa kotere alibe vuto pokhudzana ndi omwe ali mgulu lawo bwalo la kudalirana, koma nthawi zambiri amapewa zochitika pagulu. Amakhala womangika m'magulu akulu kapena akamacheza ndi mlendo.
Kusatetezeka pagulu nthawi zambiri kumachitika chifukwa chosowa chidaliro pakukwanitsa kwathu kuchita bwino kapena kukhala ndi mwayi wopambana m'malo ochezera. Pansi pake imadyetsa kuopa kutsutsidwa komanso kukanidwa pagulu. Tikakhala ndi nkhawa kwambiri ndi zomwe ena amaganiza za ife, timakhala ndi nkhawa komanso nkhawa ndipo sitidziwa zoyenera kuchita.
Munthu amene akuvutika ndi kusungika kotere amapewa zochitika pagulu chifukwa izi zimabweretsa mavuto ndipo zimalepheretsa. Amawopa kulakwitsa, kudzipusitsa, kusadziwa choti anene kapena kudzionetsera molakwika. Zotsatira zake, amamaliza kuchepa kwa moyo wake wamakhalidwe abwino ndipo amataya mwayi wopewa kuwonekera pagulu.
3. Kusatetezeka m'thupi
Maonekedwe athu, kaya timakonda kapena ayi, ndi gawo la khadi lathu la bizinesi. Thupi lathu ndi nkhope zathu zimawonjezera kapena zimachotsera zomwe zimakopa chidwi chathu pa ena. Kuphatikiza apo, pagulu longa lathu, lotanganidwa ndi mawonekedwe ndi malingaliro ena okongoletsa, mawonekedwe athu amakhala patsogolo.
Chifukwa chake pamene anthu samakhala omasuka ndi matupi awo, atha kukhala ndi nkhawa yayikulu yomwe imafikira gawo lililonse la moyo. Kusatetezeka kwa thupi kumabwera chifukwa chosakhala womasuka pakhungu lako, chifukwa chokana ziwalo zathupi lomwe sitimakonda.
Kupatula apo, anthu omwe amakumana ndi kusungulumwa kotere samakhala ndi malingaliro owoneka bwino, koma amakhala ndi chidwi ndi gawo la thupi lomwe sakonda ndikukweza kufunika kwake. Amakhulupirira kuti ena amawaweruza potengera chithunzi chawo, motero amatha kukhala oweruza awo oyipitsitsa.
4. Kusowa chitetezo pantchito
Nthawi zina, nkhawa imangokhudza malo ogwirira ntchito. Popeza timakhala nthawi yayitali tikugwira ntchito, kusatetezeka kotereku kumatha kukhala kopweteka, kukhudza gawo lathu la "ine" lomwe likugwirizana ndi ntchitoyi.
Ngati munthu akumva kuti alibe chidziwitso kapena maluso oti agwire bwino ntchito yawo, atha kudzimva osatetezeka. Zinthu zikafika poipa kwambiri, iye amadzimva ngati wonyenga; mwanjira ina, kusowa chitetezo kumamupangitsa kuganiza kuti sangakwanitse kugwira ntchitoyi.
Pomwe pachimake, kusatetezeka kwamaphunziro kumaphatikizapo kukayikira luntha lathu ndi kuthekera kwathu, komanso mantha obisika otsutsa komanso osavomerezeka ndi anthu omwe timawawona kuti ndi anzeru kapena otha kuchita bwino. M'malo mwake, kafukufuku yemwe adachitika ku University of Hong Kong adawonetsa kuti kusowa kwa ntchito sikugwirizana kwenikweni ndi magwiridwe antchito, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti titha kukhala ndi magwiridwe antchito okwanira kapena abwino komabe timadzimva osatetezeka. Izi ndichifukwa choti kusakhazikika, mukakhazikitsa, kumatsutsana ndi umboni wotsutsana.
5. Kudzidalira
Mwa mitundu yonse yazachitetezo, kusatetezeka kwaumwini mwina ndiye kobisika kwambiri komanso kovuta kuthana chifukwa sikulumikizana ndi zochitika zina monga kusakhazikika pagulu kapena akatswiri, koma kumafalikira ngati moto wamtchire kuzinthu zonse zamoyo.
Ndikusatetezeka kwakukulu, komwe kumayambitsidwa muubwana kapena unyamata, komwe kumakhudza kuwopa zomwe ena angaganize za ife, kusachita zomwe takwaniritsa ndikukhumudwitsa zomwe ena akuyembekezera. Zimakonda kudyetsa kudzidalira komanso kusadzidalira.
Pansi pake pali kusagwirizana kwakukulu ndi "I" wathu. Kusatetezeka kwaumwini ndikuwonetsa kusamvana kwamkati kosathetsedwa, kwa "I" yemwe samadziwa zomwe akufuna komanso osayerekeza kusankha mbali ina. Zotsatira zake, munthu amene ali ndi nkhawa yotere amatha kukhala nthawi yayitali ali wopuwala, ndikupanga zisankho pokhapokha akakakamizidwa.
Kodi mungathane bwanji ndi mitundu yosiyanasiyana yazosatetezeka?
Kafukufuku wopangidwa ku Brigham Young University adapeza kuti anthu opondereza, omwe amafuna kuwongolera chilichonse, amakhala osatetezeka. M'malo mwake, pansi pamtima, mitundu yosiyanasiyana yazachitetezo imabisa mantha akulu osatsimikizika, zomwe sitingathe kuzilamulira komanso zotsatirapo zake. Ichi ndichifukwa chake kusatetezeka kumamenyedwa ndikupanga malo osatsimikizika.
• Khalani osatetezeka. Zitha kuwoneka ngati zotsutsana m'mawu, koma popeza simungathe kuthawa nokha, simungathe kuthawa kusatetezeka kwanu. Kuwakana kumangowapangitsa kukula kuchokera muyeso yonse. M'malo mwake, onani momwe mumamvera mukamadzidera nkhawa. Osatengera malingaliro anu, mongotengeka ndi momwe mumamvera. Dzipangeni nokha ndi chidwi, ngati kuti ndinu mwana kwa nthawi yoyamba. Osayesa kumenya nkhondo, osaweruza kapena kudandaula, khalani ndi moyo momwe imadzionetsera.
• Pewani chilakolako chofuna kuchitapo kanthu. Mulimonse momwe mungakhalire osatetezeka, kusapeza komwe kumabweretsa kumatha kukhala kwakukulu kotero kuti kumakulimbikitsani kuchitapo kanthu. Osachitapo kanthu ndikulola kuti muzitsogoleredwa ndi kudzimva kosadzidalira. Musalole kuti kusakhazikika kutengeke. Khalani odekha ndipo mverani zomwe mungachite poyamba. Kodi mukufuna kutani? Zitha kukhala kuchedwetsa chisankho, kuthawa malo, kusiya china chake ... Osachichita! Khalani osatetezeka kwakanthawi. Popanda kuchitapo kanthu.
• Muzikhala omasuka. Zitha kuwoneka zosatheka, koma sichoncho. Zida zakusatetezeka, zomwe zimadzilimbitsa zokha ndikukukakamizani kuti muchitepo kanthu, ndizovuta zamkati ndi nkhawa. Chifukwa chake, muyenera kuphunzira kuthana ndi malingaliro amenewo ndi kupumula. Mutha kuphunzira a kupuma ndi zakulera kuti mukhale omasuka ndi malingaliro amenewo, mpaka mutazindikira kuti sangakupwetekeni ndipo alibe mphamvu pa inu kuposa momwe mumawapatsira.
• Dzazani ndi kuthokoza. Kusatetezeka sikungalimbane ndi chitetezo. Chitetezo ndikulota kwamoto. Moyo ndi chitetezo, kusadalirika komanso kusatsimikizika. Ndipo zili bwino! Chifukwa chake, tsopano popeza muli munyanjayi, mukuyesetsa kuti mupumule, yesani kumayamika mkati mwanu. Mverani kuyamikiranso chifukwa cha kusatetezeka kumeneku, chifukwa ndi chizindikiro kuti muli ndi moyo, mukuganiza komanso mukumva.
Mwanjira imeneyi mupeza ndalama zofunikira kuti mupite patsogolo. Simungathetse kusakhazikika. Palibe chifukwa. Koma izi zisiya kukuvutitsani kapena kukulepheretsani. Monga yogi Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev akufotokozera “Mukamadzikayikira mumayesetsa kupewa moyo, ndipo izi zimabweretsa mavuto. Koma m'moyo uno tikungodutsamo. Palibe chomwe tingataye chifukwa timafika opanda chilichonse ndipo timachoka opanda chilichonse. Timasankha ngati tikufuna kukhala ndi nkhawa zake zonse kapena kudzilola tokha ziwalo ".
Malire:
Wamkulu, HL et. Al. (2008) Ndani Akuvutika Kwambiri Ndi Kusatetezeka kwa Yobu? Kubwereza kwa Meta-Analytic. Ntchito Psychology; 57 (2): 272-303.
Larsen, KS & Schwendiman, G. (1969) Authoritarianism, Kudzidalira komanso Kusatetezeka. Maphunziro a Psychological; 25 (1): 229-230.
Pakhomo Mitundu 5 yopunduka kwambiri yazodzitetezera m'moyo idasindikizidwa koyamba mu Pakona ya Psychology.
