Ndife anthu ocheza nawo. Ndipo izi zikutanthauza kuti tiyenera kunyamula mpira wambiri. Maubwenzi apakati pa anthu ali ndi chododometsa: pamene tidalira kwambiri maukonde athu othandizira, m'pamenenso amatha kukakamiza kuti tigwirizane ndi chikhalidwe chawo.
Banja, mabwenzi, ndi malo ogwira ntchito ndi malo omwe angathe kutikakamiza kuti tigwirizane ndi zizolowezi, zizolowezi, ndi njira zochitira zinthu zomwe sitimasuka nazo. Kutengeka maganizo, monga kuopa kudzipatula kapena kuchita manyazi komanso kudziimba mlandu chifukwa chokhala ndi maganizo osiyanasiyana, ndizomwe zimayambitsa kugwirizana kumeneku.
Zachidziwikire, kuvomereza kungatipatsenso zabwino zina, monga kukulitsa zathu mabwalo odalirana, kumatipangitsa kukhala otetezeka. Ndiponso, kumatilepheretsa kupanga zosankha zambiri chifukwa kaŵirikaŵiri zimatipanga ndi ena, motero zimachotsa mtolo wa udindo. Koma m’kupita kwa nthaŵi, kutsanzira ena m’kupita kwa nthaŵi kudzawononga kukhulupirika kwathu ndi kutilepheretsa kukhala ndi moyo wachimwemwe.
Kukhala woona kwa wekha kumafuna kulimba mtima kochuluka, koma kumapereka chikhutiro chotenga ulamuliro wa moyo wanu ndikuwuyendetsa momwe mukufunira.
Zotsatira 5 zowononga kwambiri za chikhalidwe cha anthu pa moyo wanu
Tonsefe, nthawi ina, tagwa mumsampha wofanana ndi anthu. Tonse takhala tikuvutitsidwa ndi anzathu nthawi ina m'miyoyo yathu ndipo ambiri aife tasankha kugonja.
Kugwirizana kwa anthu kumachitika pamene tisintha khalidwe lathu chifukwa cha zovuta zakunja, zomwe zingabwere kuchokera kwa anzathu, banja kapena gulu. Kugwirizana kwa chikhalidwe cha anthu sikutanthauza kusintha kwenikweni kwa mkati, koma kusintha kwa khalidwe kuti ligwirizane ndi zosowa zakunja. Palibe chilimbikitso chamkati, koma chikhumbo chofuna kulowamo.
Zoonadi, pamene tigonjera ena, kuvomereza kwachiphamaso kumeneku kungapangitse moyo wathu kukhala wosavuta mwa kupeŵa mikangano ndi kusagwirizana. Komabe, vuto lofanana ndi anthu ndi loti kumatilepheretsa kukhala owona mtima, chinthu chofunikira kwambiri kuti tipeze njira yathu m'moyo. Mtengo wotsatira ndikutaya kutsimikizika kwathu.
Kukhala mumthunzi wa ena, kutengera njira yawo yowonera dziko lapansi, sikukhala moyo. Tikamatengera makhalidwe a anthu ena, timaiwala kuti ndife anthu otani.
1. Kuvutika maganizo kwambiri. Tikamatsatira mwachimbulimbuli zimene anthu amayembekezera, tingathe kutaya cholinga cha moyo wathu. Conformism imatichotsa kwa ife tokha, kuchokera kumalingaliro athu, zonyenga ndi zilakolako zathu, kotero kuti pakapita nthawi tikhoza kukhala ndi kuvutika maganizo, zotsatira za kulephera kumvetsa zomwe tikufuna ndi zomwe tikufuna.
2. Kudzitaya. Kugwirizana kwa anthu kumakhala kotonthoza chifukwa kumapangitsa munthu kukhala wotetezeka ngati nyanja yabata, koma m'kupita kwanthawi tidzazindikira malire akukhala ogwirizana ndi ena. Tikamamatirira kwa nthawi yaitali kwa ena ndi kukana umunthu wathu, m’pamenenso timakakamizika kudzipatula kwa ife. Izi zimadzetsa kumverera kwa kudzipatula komanso kudzipatula. Titha kukhala ndi malingaliro omveka bwino pamene tiyang'ana mkati mwathu kuti tisamalire zomwe tikufuna ndi zomwe tikufuna.
3. Zimalepheretsa munthu kukula. Kugonjera zofuna za ena kungakhale koyesa chifukwa kumatilepheretsa kupanga zosankha, koma kugonjera ku zizolowezi zathu kudzatilepheretsa kukula. Kugwirizana ndi anthu kumatilepheretsa kupeza mawu athu. Zili ngati timayika moyo wathu pachiwopsezo chifukwa sitipanga chisankho, koma timakhutira ndi momwe zinthu zilili.
4. Kudalira ena. Kugwirizana ndiko, kwenikweni, kukhala molingana ndi zomwe ena atikonzera. Nthawi zonse pamakhala wina amene amatiuza zomwe tiyenera kuchita, kuganiza kapena kumva, pankhani yofanana ndi malingaliro. Pamene sitinazolowere kupanga zisankho, timakhala odalira omwe ali pafupi nafe, ndikuchepetsa kwambiri kudziyimira kwathu, kudziyimira pawokha komanso ufulu.
5. Kusagwirizana kofunikira. Zimakhala zovuta kukhala osasinthasintha pamene tikuyenera kusintha nthawi zonse ndi zomwe anthu ena akufuna. Kugwirizana kwa chikhalidwe cha anthu kumatilepheretsa kukulitsa projekiti yathu yamoyo ndikuitsatira. Ndipotu kumatipangitsa nthawi zonse kuthamangira malingaliro, zolinga, ndi zolinga za ena, zomwe siziwonjezera phindu kapena chikhutiro m'moyo wathu. M’malo mwake, kukhazikika kwenikweni kumadza pamene tilamulira tsogolo lathu, kuika zolinga zathu, ndi kupanga dongosolo loti tikwaniritse zimenezo.
Kugwirizana kumatanthauza kudzipereka ku malingaliro a ena, zomwe zimasiya mpata wochepa wodziwonetsera nokha ndi ufulu wanu. Kusankha kufunafuna chivomerezo ndi chitsimikiziro kwa ena kumatilepheretsa kukhala owona kwa ife tokha. Kugwirizana ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu kumasiya mwayi woganiza zodziyimira pawokha ndikuchepetsa kupanga zisankho. Tikakhala otanganidwa kwambiri poganizira zomwe anthu ena akufuna, sitisamala kwambiri zomwe tikufuna.
Pachifukwa ichi, kukhala wowona kwa ife tokha kumatanthauza kulimbana ndi mafunde ndi kulolera kulimbana ndi mikangano. Kuti tikhale ndi ulamuliro pa moyo wathu tiyenera kupeza njira yodziwonetsera tokha ndikutsata zomwe tikufuna komanso zomwe tikufuna. Chisangalalo chenicheni chimabwera chifukwa cholumikizana ndi mkati mwathu. Tiyenera kudzidalira tokha kwambiri ndikuyamba kumvera tokha, m'malo modalira kutsimikizira kwakunja. Tsatirani zokonda zathu, chotsa maloto athu ndikupeza kulimba mtima kuti mukwaniritse zolinga zathu.
Chitsime:
Stallen, M. & Sanfey, AG (2015) The neuroscience of social conformity: zotsatira za kafukufuku wofunikira komanso wogwiritsidwa ntchito. Kutsogolo. Neurosci.; 9:10.3389.
Pakhomo Kugwirizana kwa anthu, mtengo wogwirizana ndi ena idasindikizidwa koyamba mu Pakona ya Psychology.
