Kulumikizana kwamaganizidwe komwe timapanga ndi anthu otizungulira ndikofunikira kwambiri pamiyoyo. Tonsefe timafunikira kumvetsetsa ndi kutsimikizika. Kumva kuti pali, mwina munthu m'modzi m'chilengedwe chonse, yemwe amatimvetsetsa ndikutithandiza.
Komabe, mgulu lolumikizana kwambiri, timalumikizidwa kwambiri, komanso kulibe komanso chifukwa chake, tili tokha. Anthu ambiri amapezeka mwakuthupi, koma m'maganizo ndi m'maganizo amakhala kutali. Amagwedezera mitu yawo kwinaku akuyang'ana mafoni awo. Iwo amaiwala zokambiranazo chifukwa sanalowerere nawo.
Zachidziwikire, sitingathe kulumikizana ndi malingaliro pomwe mitu yathu ili kwina. Kumva kwamphamvu, kumbali ina, kumaphatikizapo kulumikizana ndi dziko lamkati kuti mumuthandize kuthana ndi mavuto kapena kungomupatsa thandizo lomwe angafunike.
Kodi kumveketsa bwino tanthauzo kwenikweni ndi chiyani?
Lingaliro lakumvera kwamphamvu lidayambira mu Humanistic Psychology. Pankhani ya psychotherapy ya Rogersian, kumveketsa bwino kumatanthauza njira yozama yolumikizirana ndi ena chifukwa imaganizira zomwe winayo akunena - zonse zomwe akunena, zomwe amakhala chete, zomwe amalankhula ndi mawu komanso zomwe amalankhula ndi thupi .
Mosiyana ndi kumvera ena chisoni, kumvera ena chisoni sikutanthauza kupatuka kuti udziyese wekha, koma kuti tigwiritse ntchito "I" wathu kulumikizana ndi munthuyo, kukhala wolandila momwe angathere pazomwe akumana nazo, momwe akumvera komanso malingaliro awo, koma osawona za omwe malingaliro a aliyense ali ake.
Kuthandiza ena posalola mavuto awo kutikoka nawo
Thekumvera ena chisoni adatchuka pomwe lingaliro lakumvera kwamphamvu lidatsalira. Komabe, ndikofunikira kuthandiza ena osakokoloka ndi mkuntho.
Kumvera ena chisoni ndi kuyesa kuthana ndi zokumana nazo komanso momwe ena akumvera. Ndikudziika wekha m'malo mwake. Koma nthawi zambiri kumvera ena chisoni kumatha ndipo kumangokhala kwachisoni kapena nkhawa zomwe zingativulaze ifeyo ndi ena, kutilepheretsa kuchita zofunika mtunda wamaganizidwe kukhala othandiza.
Kumveka kwamphamvu sikutanthauza "kukhala ofanana" ndi enawo, koma kukhalabe opatukana. Mtunda umenewo ndi womwe umatilola ife kupereka chithandizo choyenera. Kumvera kwamphamvu kumatithandiza kuti tikumane ndi momwe zinthu ziliri, koma mosiyana, nthawi zambiri kokwanira. Chifukwa chake mitengo siyimatitchinjiriza kuwona nkhalango. Titha kudziwa mavuto akulu ndi mikangano ya ena kapena njira zomwe akugwiritsa ntchito.
Kumveka kwachisoni kumatanthauza kukumana ndi mavuto ndi momwe timamvera mumtima, koma popanda izi kuphimba kulingalira kwathu chifukwa malire a "I" athu sanachotsedwe, koma amangokhala ngati gawo lodzitchinjiriza lomwe limatilola kupereka thandizo loyenera.
Kodi mungapangire bwanji kumveka kwachifundo? Maluso ofunikira
• Kuzindikira ndi chidwi chonse. Ndi gawo loyamba lomwe popanda kuthekera kulumikizana ndi mzake. Zimakhala kupezeka kwathunthu pano komanso tsopano, kumvetsera wolankhulira wathu. Zimatanthauza kupezeka zenizeni komanso chidwi chenicheni pazovuta za winayo.
• Kafukufuku wambiri. Zimaphatikizapo kusaka mwachangu zochitika zokumana nazo zovuta kwambiri za zinazo. Zimatanthawuza kupitirira zomwe mukuwona osakhutitsidwa ndi zachiphamaso, koma kuyesera kukulitsa tanthauzo lakuya lomwe nthawi zambiri limabisala kuseri kwa mawuwo.
• Kutulutsa mawu mwamphamvu. Zimatanthauza kuyika m'mawu kapena kumasulira muzochita zomwe timamva. Tikaulula kufowoka kwathu kapena kutseguka m'malingaliro, timalimbikitsa winayo kuti achite zomwezo kuti alumikizane kwambiri. Sikuchita manyazi ndi kupweteka, kulephera kapena kutengeka kwina kulikonse, koma kuwagwiritsa ntchito pomanga milatho.
• Kuyamika kopanda malire. Kudzudzulidwa kulikonse kapena kuyesa kuweruza kumaletsa kumvera ena chisoni. Ichi ndichifukwa chake kumvekera bwino kumafunikira kuyamikiridwa kopanda tanthauzo. Sizitanthauza kuvomereza malingaliro a enawo, koma kutsimikizira zokumana nazo zawo posonyeza kuvomereza kopanda tanthauzo kuti munthuyo amve kuti akumvetsetsa ndikuthandizidwa.
Malire:
Watson, JC & Greenberg, LS (2009) Emponic resonance: Maganizo a neuroscience. Mu J. Decety & W. Ickes (Mkonzi.) Katswiri wokhudzidwa ndi chisoni (mas. 125-137). MIT Press.
Decety, J. & Meyer, ML (2008) Kuchokera Kumvekedwe Kotengeka mpaka Kumvetsetsa Kwachisoni: Akaunti Yachitukuko cha Neuroscience. Development ndi Psychopathology; (20): 4-1053.
Vanaerschot, G. (2007) Empathic Resonance ndi Njira Zosinthira Zochitika: Njira Yoyeserera Yoyendetsera Njira. American Journal ya Psychotherapy; 61 (3): 313-331.
Pakhomo Kukhazikika pamalingaliro, kiyi yothandizira ena popewa mavuto awo kuti atigwetsere idasindikizidwa koyamba mu Pakona ya Psychology.
