Kukhala ngati banja, koma aliyense kunyumba: kodi zimagwira ntchito?

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Mpaka posachedwapa, kukhalira limodzi kunali chinthu chofunikira kwambiri paubwenzi wa okwatirana. Kwa ambiri, chikondi chinaphatikizapo mndandanda wa zinthu zofunika, monga kusiya msuwachi pafupi ndi wa wokondedwa, kusinthana makiyi ndipo potsirizira pake kusamukira pamodzi. Chisankho chogawana denga lomwelo chinawonetsa kusintha komwe kumawonetsa kusagwirizana kwakukulu. Kugawana moyo watsiku ndi tsiku, ndi zodabwitsa zake ndi zokhumudwitsa, chinali chizindikiro chosatsutsika kuti ubalewo unali wogwirizana.

Komabe, masiku ano anthu ambiri amasankha kukhala ngati okwatirana, koma aliyense m’nyumba zawozawo. Ngakhale kuti ali paubwenzi wokhazikika wachikondi, palibe amene amafuna kusiya kudziimira payekha chifukwa amakhala omasuka.

Ndipotu chodabwitsa chimenechi chikufalikira kwambiri. Ku United States, mwachitsanzo, 35% ya anthu omwe amakhala okha amakhalabe ndi ubale wokhazikika. Ku Spain akuti 15,9% ya akazi amakhala ndi maubwenzi okhazikika, koma aliyense amakhala kunyumba. Ku UK, 9% ya akuluakulu omwe amakhala okha ali paubwenzi wokhazikika.

Pamodzi, koma osati pafupi kwambiri: chifukwa chiyani maanja amasankha kukhala m'nyumba zosiyana?

Zifukwa zosungira kutali ndi zambiri. Ndipotu tingapeze mitundu itatu yaikulu ya okwatirana. Choyamba, timapeza omwe akuwona kuti kuchedwa kwambiri kapena kuti sanakonzekere kukhalira limodzi.

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Ndiyeno timapeza okwatirana amene amafunadi kukhalira limodzi, koma chinachake chimawalepheretsa kutero, kaŵirikaŵiri pazifukwa zachuma, mavuto abanja kapena ntchito. Sizodabwitsa kuti chodabwitsa ichi chimapezeka kawirikawiri kwa achinyamata omwe ali ndi zaka zosachepera 29, ngakhale kuti akuwonekera kwambiri kwa okalamba. Mwachitsanzo, ku Spain, 4,6% ya amayi azaka zapakati pa 30 ndi 34 ali ndi zibwenzi zokhazikika, koma sakonda kukhala pansi pa denga limodzi ndi okondedwa awo.

Pamene mukupita ku kalendala, zifukwa zanu zokhalira ndi mnzanu ndikukhala nokha zimasiyana. Ambiri amachita izi kuti asunge ufulu wawo komanso chinsinsi chawo. Nthawi zina awa ndi anthu omwe safuna kusiya ufulu wawo chifukwa sanakhalepo ngati okwatirana ndipo ena ndi anthu omwe adakwatirana kale kapena kukhalira limodzi, koma tsopano amakonda kukhala padera kuti azikhala ndi moyo wosiyana, monga momwe mungathere, pewani zolakwa zakale ndi zizolowezi zokhalira pamodzi zomwe zimathetsa chibwenzi.

Ndithudi, anthu ochulukirachulukira amawona kukhala patali monga njira yolinganiza mbali za moyo wapamtima wapamodzi ndi kudzilamulira ndi kudziimira. Anthu awa amatengera ubale wa banjali mosiyana. Amakondana, koma saona kufunika kokhala m’nyumba imodzi kuti asonyeze mgwirizano umenewo.

Iwo amakhulupirira kuti kusakhala pamodzi nthawi zonse kumalimbitsa mgwirizano wawo. Amapeza kuti kukhala paokha kumawathandiza kuti matsenga apitirizebe kukhala amoyo, kuwonjezera nthawi yaukwati kwamuyaya, ndipo, poteteza malo awo ndi kugawa nthawi yawo palimodzi, amapanga nthawi yomwe amakhala okondwa kuwonana wina ndi mzake.

Kukhala ndi bwenzi ndipo aliyense amakhala mnyumba mwake, kodi izi zimagwira ntchito?

M'zaka zaposachedwa, kubadwa kwa banjali kwasintha kwambiri. Ukwati usanakhale chinthu chofunikira kwambiri, koma kwa zaka zambiri zasiya kuti okwatirana ochepa ndi ochepa amamva kufunika kopita ku guwa kuti "inde". Lingaliro la kukhalira limodzi ngati sitepe "lovomerezeka" kulimbikitsa ubale likusinthanso.

Njira yatsopano yomvetsetsa maubwenzi sikutanthauza kuchepa kwa khalidwe lawo kapena nthawi yawo. Ambiri mwa mabanjawa amakhalabe limodzi pambuyo pa zaka 12 zaubwenzi, ngakhale kuti aliyense amakhala m’nyumba yakeyake.

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Kukhala patali kumatanthauza kukonza nyumba momwe tingakondere, kukonzekera nthawi yathu momasuka kapena kuwona mabwenzi ndi achibale pafupipafupi. Mabanjawa akuti amakhala ndi moyo wapamtima wolemera chifukwa amangoganizira zomwe zili zofunika kwambiri paubwenzi, m'malo mokangana za kukhalira limodzi, monga kuti ndani ayenera kuchotsa zinyalala kapena kuyeretsa. Akakhala pamodzi, amakhala ndi nthawi yabwino ndipo amadzipereka kuti azisangalala wina ndi mzake popanda kusagwirizana kwa kukhalira limodzi kumakhudza chiyanjano.

Komabe, zimatanthauzanso kuona mnzanuyo mocheperapo. Zoonadi, kupambana kwa chitsanzo chatsopanochi chokhalira pamodzi makamaka kumadalira mfundo yakuti mamembala onse amagwirizana ndikumverera okhutira ndi moyo umenewu, chifukwa ngati "atalamulidwa" ndi mmodzi mwa awiriwo, aliyense amene sagawana nawo adzawona ngati. kusowa kwa kunyengerera ndipo ndizotheka kuika chitsenderezo pa winayo posachedwa, kumuika pakati pa thanthwe ndi malo ovuta.

Kupambana kwa ubale wamtunduwu kumadaliranso pazifukwa zamaganizidwe zomwe zidapangitsa kusankha kukhala ndi bwenzi ndikukhala aliyense mnyumba mwake. Kafukufuku wozama kwambiri wochitidwa pa yunivesite ya Bradford wasonyeza kuti anthu ena ali ndi chisonkhezero 'chakuda kwambiri': amakonda kukhala okha chifukwa chiyembekezo chokhala ndi bwenzi chimawapangitsa kukhala ndi nkhawa, mantha kapena ngakhale kudzimva kukhala osatetezeka.

Nthawi zina akukhala ngati okwatirana, koma aliyense m'nyumba yake chifukwa cha kusatetezeka, anthu sadziwa kuopsa kwa ubale ndipo amakonda kusalowerera kwambiri. Nthawi zina ndi chifukwa chakuti amafuna kudziteteza m'maganizo mwa kusunga zina mtunda wamaganizidwe kuimiridwa ndi mtunda wakuthupi umenewo, mwinamwake chifukwa chakuti anavulazidwa m’mbuyomo.

Pamene chitsanzo ichi chokhalira limodzi sichili chosankha chaufulu kapena chimachokera ku mantha ndi kusungitsa, ndizotheka kuti ubalewo sukhalitsa. Ngakhale kuti pamapeto pake zonse zimatengera kukhutira komwe mtunda uwu umabweretsa kwa membala aliyense wa banjali.

Malire:

Duncan, S. et. Al. (2015) Women's Agency mu Kukhala Pamodzi Pamodzi: Zoletsa, Njira ndi Chiwopsezo. The Sociological Review; 63 (3): 10.1111.


Castro-Martín, T. et. Al. (2008) Osakhala opanda zibwenzi: Mabwenzi osakhala okhazikika ndikuchoka m'banja ku Spain. Kafukufuku wa Demographic; 18: 443-468.

Strohm, CQ ndi. Al. (2009) "Kukhala Pamodzi Pamodzi" maubwenzi ku United States. Demogr Res; 21: 177-214.

Pakhomo Kukhala ngati banja, koma aliyense kunyumba: kodi zimagwira ntchito? idasindikizidwa koyamba mu Pakona ya Psychology.

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