"Pali zinthu zochepa ngati zotseka ngati chete", analemba Mario Benedetti. Chete chimabisa zopeka, mantha, nkhawa, chisokonezo, kusiya ntchito ... Zolankhula zimafalitsa nkhawa zambiri. Komabe, nthawi zambiri timakonda kuganiza kuti iwo omwe amangokhala chete amavomereza. Timasokoneza bata ndi chilolezo ndikugwera mu "chinyengo cha chete".
Kodi chinyengo chokhala chete ndi chiyani?
Zolakwika ndizosagwirizana zenizeni zomwe timazigwiritsa ntchito pofotokozera malingaliro athu. Izi nthawi zambiri zimakhala zotsutsana ndi malingaliro omwe aperekedwa, koma timayesetsa kukakamiza wolumikizana nafe kuti avomereze kutsimikizika kwa malingaliro osagwirizana.
Zolakwitsa zina zimasokoneza zowonadi, zina zimagwiritsa ntchito chilankhulo ndikumamvetsetsa, kusamvetsetseka kwa mawu kapena kusakhala ndi tanthauzo kumbuyo kwa malingaliro kuti asokoneze.
Chinyengo chokhala chete chimakhazikika pamalingaliro akuti "aliyense amene amakhala chete, avomereza". Anthu omwe amachita zachinyengozi amati munthu yemwe samatsutsana naye, samadziteteza kapena salowererapo, amavomereza malingaliro omwe afotokozedwapo kapena momwe zinthu ziliri.
M'malo mwake, ndi mtundu wa argumentum ad ignorantiam popeza akuganiza kuti kukhala chete ndi bata ndizoyesa mgwirizano. Mwachitsanzo, wina angaganize kuti munthu amene samayankhula motsutsana ndi zida amakonda kugwiritsa ntchito.
Zachidziwikire, sichoncho. Kukhala chete nthawi zonse sikofanana ndi kuvomereza. Zina zonse ndizongoganizira zomwe timapanga kutengera zomwe zimatiyenera. Kuganiza kuti chete nthawi zonse kumatanthauza kuvomereza kumatanthauza kunyalanyaza zomwe zikuchitika komanso zizindikilo zakuti chete kungakhale chifukwa cha mantha kapena kusiya ntchito.
Sigephobia, gulu lomwe limawopa chete
Mu 1997, wafilosofi Raimon Panikkar adati sigephobia ndi amodzi mwamatenda am'zaka za zana lino. Amanena za kuopa kukhala chete. M'malo mwake, anthu ambiri samakhala chete ndikangokhala chete.
Kukhala ndi munthu wina, osanena chilichonse, nthawi zambiri kumabweretsa "chete chete". Nthawi zambiri kumva kusasangalala kumakhala kwakukulu kwambiri kotero kuti kumabweretsa nkhawa ndipo kumatipangitsa kuti tisiye chete posachedwa poyambitsa mutu uliwonse wazokambirana, ngakhale utakhala waung'ono bwanji, kuti phokoso lisatuluke. M'malo mwake sizodabwitsa ngati tilingalira kuti tikukhala pakati pa anthu omwe chithunzi ndi liwu limakhazikika, nthawi zambiri ngakhale pazowona.
Kukhala chete kumatipatsa mantha chifukwa kumabweretsa zolephera, tanthauzo lobisika komanso zoopsa zomwe sitikudziwa kuti tingazimvetse bwanji. Kukhala chete ndizosamveka, kosamveka, kosazungulira komanso kopanda tanthauzo. Titha kunena zinthu zambiri kudzera mu izi, koma matanthauzo ake sangapewe kusamveka. Ndicho chifukwa chake timakonda kugwiritsitsa mawu.
Timaopa osanenedwa chifukwa zimabweretsa mantha. Sitikudziwa momwe tingachitire. Ichi ndichifukwa chake kuli kosavuta kutenga njira zazifupi ndikuganiza kuti kukhala chete ndikofanana ndi kuvomereza. Koma kutengera kumeneku kumaphatikizapo kuchotsa pamalingaliro ndikuwasiya - nthawi zambiri mwadala - kuti bata lingalimbikitsidwe ndi kugonjera, mantha kapena kusiya ntchito.
Kuopsa kokhala chete pazomwe timaganiza kapena kumva
Kukhala chete ndi chisankho cholankhulana. Timasankha zoyenera kukhala chete ndi zomwe tinganene. Timadziletsa tokha tikangokhala chete pazinthu zomwe zitha kupweteketsa ena kapena tokha. Koma pakakhala chete ena akukakamiza, ndiko kuponderezana kapena kuletsa.
Nthawi zina timakhala chete chifukwa timaopa zotsatira za mawu athu. Timakonda kukhala chete ndikuyembekeza kupewa mikangano. Chifukwa chake timatha kusiya zizolowezi zambiri ndi malingaliro athu omwe atha kukhala chiwembu chomwe chimatikoka nacho.
Ngati sitinena zomwe timaganiza kapena kufotokoza kusagwirizana kwathu, timangopitiliza kukulitsa zomwe zimatipweteka kapena kutikwiyitsa. Pofuna kutseka malingaliro athu ndi malingaliro athu, timadyetsa zinthu zomwe zitha kukhala zowopsa kwambiri kuposa vuto loyambirira lomwe timafuna kupewa.
Potero, tikhoza kukhala akapolo a zomwe timakhala chete, kaya ndi okwatirana, banja, ntchito kapena anthu. Kenako timafika poti timadzipeza tokha osakhutira kwathunthu kuti timangodzipilira tokha kuti titha kupilira mwakachetechete, kapena timaphulika. Zachidziwikire, palibe izi zomwe zingatithandizire kulingalira bwino.
Dulani chete
Nthawi zina kukhala chete kumalimbikitsa zomwe timakhala chete. Nthawi zina kukhala chete kumangonena zoposa mawu chikwi. Koma nthawi zina ayi. Kupambana kwakulankhula sikudalira pa ife tokha komanso pakukhudzidwa ndi wotilankhula.
Kukhala chete ndi chida champhamvu, koma ochepa amadziwa momwe angagwiritsire ntchito ndikumasulira molondola, chifukwa chake pagulu lomwe limafunikira kwambiri kukhala owongoka, nthawi zina ndibwino kuyankhula. Mawuwa amatha kuchotsa kukayika ndikuchepetsa tanthauzo la zomwe zatsekedwa.
Zachidziwikire, sikuti nthawi zonse timapeza mawu oyenera kapena zifukwa zomveka. Palibe kanthu. Chofunikira ndikufotokozera mbali yathu kapena kusakhalapo, pomwe sitikudziwa. Nthawi zina tikhoza kungopempha nthawi kuti tiganizire. Kunena kuti sitikugwirizana, kapena kuti sitinapange lingaliro.
Ndizokhudza kupeza njira kuti ena amvetsetse momwe timamvera kapena zomwe timaganiza, kuteteza zathu ufulu wotsimikizira ndipo osapereka njira kwa anthu omwe angatanthauzire zolakwika zathu ponena kuti "iwo omwe amakhala chete amavomereza".
Malire:
Garcés, A. & López, a. (2020) Kutanthauzira Kwomveka Kwa Kukhala Chete. Computación ndi Sistemas; 24 (2).
Méndez, B. & Camargo, L. (2011) i Quien calla otorga? Funciones del silencio y su relación ndi variable genero. Chikumbutso chomaliza cha Máster Universitario de Lenguas y Literaturas Modernas: Universidad de las Islas Baleares.
Pannikkar, R. (1997) El silencio del Buddha. Chiyambi cha kukhulupirira kuti kulibe Mulungu. Madrid, Siruela.
Pakhomo Chinyengo chokhala chete: kuganiza kuti iwo omwe ali chete amavomereza idasindikizidwa koyamba mu Pakona ya Psychology.
