Nchifukwa chiyani maanja amakangana? Zifukwa 7 zomwe zimayambitsa mikangano

0
- Kutsatsa -

perché le coppie discutono

Banja lirilonse ndi dziko lokha lokha, ndipo limakumana ndi mikangano nthawi ndi nthawi. Izi sizoyipa kwenikweni. Pamene chilengedwe cha achikulire awiri chikumana, ndizabwinobwino kuti pali kusiyana ndi kusamvana. Kusiyanasiyana kwamaganizidwe sikungopeŵedwe kokha, koma amakhalanso athanzi chifukwa zikutanthauza kuti kulumikizana sikunachitike komwe kudziwika kwa awiriwa, kapena onse awiri, kwathetsedwa.

Mabanja olimba kwambiri komanso okhalitsa, si onse omwe alibe mikangano, koma omwe amadziwa kuthana nawo ndikutuluka kulimbikitsidwa. Komabe, pamene i mikangano yobisika amasungidwa pakapita nthawi ndipo zokambirana zimakhala chakudya cha tsiku ndi tsiku, ubalewo umatha ndikutha choncho mwina zikuyenera kutha.

Nchifukwa chiyani maanja amakangana mwachizolowezi?

Kafukufuku wopangidwa ku University of Michigan adawunika zifukwa zazikulu zomwe mabanja akumenyera.

1. Kutsika. Kutsika kumakhala kovuta kwambiri kukumba. Munthu akatipeputsa ndikuchita ngati amatiposa, titha kumva kuwawa kapena kutiukira. Kutsika kumakhala koipitsitsa chifukwa kumaphatikiza kudzikuza ndi chifundo, poganiza kuti sitingathe kumvetsetsa, kukula, kapena kusintha. Kutsatira kukakhazikitsidwa muubwenzi, kumakhala konyansa ndikuchotsa kuthekera kwakumvetsetsa.

- Kutsatsa -

2. Kukhala ndi zinthu zambiri. M'dera lomwe maubwenzi nthawi zambiri amakhala osagwirizana, ndikosavuta kuwoloka mzere wofiira ndikukhala okonda kuchita nsanje. Ngati munthu akukhulupirira kuti mnzake ndi "chuma chake" ndipo akuti ali ndi ufulu woika malire ndikukhazikitsa zinthu, atha kukhala ndi chidwi chamunthu wina, yankho loteteza ufulu wawo. Pachifukwa ichi kukhala nazo komanso nsanje ndi zifukwa zokambirana mobwerezabwereza m'mabanja.

3. Kusasamala. Kusasamala ndi kugwiritsa ntchito ndichimodzi mwazifukwa zofala zokambirana m'banja. Pomwe pali kunyalanyazidwa kwamaganizidwe, m'modzi mwa awiriwo amadzimva kuti asiyidwa, choncho amatsagana naye, koma akumva kuti ali yekha. Winawo amanyalanyaza zosowa zawo, mosazindikira kapena mosazindikira, zomwe zimawapangitsa kudandaula kuti chibwenzicho sichikukwaniritsa zosowa zawo.


4. Kuzunza. Mu maubwenzi, nkhanza zimatha kutenga masauzande chikwi. Sikuti nthawi zonse zimakhudza kuzunzidwa, pamenepo chiwawa chamawu ndipo malingaliro nthawi zambiri amakhala ofala ndipo amathanso kukhala owopsa kwambiri. Kuchititsidwa manyazi, kunyozedwa, kukuwa kapena ngakhale kugwiritsa ntchito mphwayi ngati zilango ndi zizindikiro za nkhanza zomwe zimabweretsa mavuto m'banjamo.

- Kutsatsa -

5. Kunyalanyaza. Moyo watsiku ndi tsiku ungasokoneze maanja. Kugawika kwa maudindo ndiudindo watsiku ndi tsiku, ntchito zapakhomo ndi chisamaliro cha ana ndi chimodzi mwazifukwa zazikulu zomwe maanja amakangana, makamaka ngati m'modzi mwa anthu akumva kuti mnzakeyo sakumuthandiza mokwanira kapena akuchita mosasamala. Nthawi zambiri, vuto silogawananso ntchito ndi maudindo osafanana, koma kusazindikira kwa munthu amene wanyamula cholemetsa chachikulu paphewa pake.

6. Kusakhazikika kwamaganizidwe. Kukhala ndi munthu wosakhazikika pamtima pambali panu, yemwe amasintha mikhalidwe nthawi zonse ndikukupangitsani kumva kuti mukuyenda pamagalasi tsiku lililonse, sikuti kumangowopsa komanso kukutopetsani. Kuchokera paubwenzi wapabanja timafunikira chitetezo, tikalandira chimodzimodzi, zosowa zathu sizikhutitsidwa ndipo timaliza "kuphulika" ngakhale pang'ono.

7. Kudzikonda. Anthu odzikonda kwambiri amakhala ndi mavuto m'mabanja chifukwa samakonda kumvera ena chisoni. Tikawona kuti munthu yemwe akuyenera kutithandizira ndikutitsimikizira mwamalingaliro amangonyalanyaza malingaliro athu ndi nkhawa zathu, kutigawira kuzikumbukira, kapena nthawi zonse amakhala ndichinthu china chofunikira kuchita, ndizomveka kuti mikangano imabwera yomwe imatha ndi mikangano yoopsa.

Mukaunika zifukwa zomwe mumakangana ndi mnzanu, mwayi wanu mupeza kuti nthawi zambiri imangokhala mitu yabodza. Dziwani zanu zoyambitsa zidzakuthandizani kuti mugwiritse ntchito zomwe zili m'maganizo zomwe zimayambitsa mikangano, kuti muthane ndi mikanganoyi ndikulimbitsa ubale wanu. Ndikofunika kuthana ndi mavutowa kuti asadzakhale njovu mchipinda chomwe chimakulabe mpaka chibwenzicho chitatha.

Chitsime:

Buss, DM (1989) Kusamvana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi: kusokonezedwa kwamphamvu komanso kutulutsa mkwiyo ndi kukwiya. J Pers Soc Psychol; 56 (5): 735-747.

Pakhomo Nchifukwa chiyani maanja amakangana? Zifukwa 7 zomwe zimayambitsa mikangano idasindikizidwa koyamba mu Pakona ya Psychology.

- Kutsatsa -