Kufunafuna ungwiro kwakhala kosalekeza, makamaka ndi kufalikira kwa teknoloji, zomwe zimatilola kuti tisinthe chirichonse kuti tifotokoze ndendende chithunzi chomwe tikufuna ndikuchotsa zomwe timaganiza "zopanda ungwiro". Komabe, kufunafuna ungwiro kumeneku kaŵirikaŵiri kumakhala kothera kumene kumadzetsa kusakhutira ndi kukhumudwa.
Chikhumbo chofuna kuchita zinthu mwangwiro chimatigwira, n’kutigwetsera m’mikangano yosatheratu yomwe nthaŵi zambiri imayambitsa chipwirikiti m’maganizo ndi paubale. Ngakhale zili choncho, anthu ambiri amakhulupirirabe kuti kufunafuna ungwiro ndi chinthu chabwino. M'malo mwake, monga momwe zilili ndi malingaliro ndi zikhulupiliro zina zomwe zikugwira ntchito mu chikhalidwe chathu, tikayang'ana mozama timapeza kuti sizomveka.
Kumvetsa tanthauzo lenileni la mawu akuti ungwiro kungatithandize kuti tisakhale ndi mtima wofuna kuti chilichonse chikhale chabwino ndiponso kusakhutira kumene kumabwera pamene sichoncho, ndipo mapeto ake adzakhala omasuka kwambiri.
Kodi ungwiro ndi chiyani ndipo tanthauzo lake loyambirira lasokonezedwa bwanji?
Akatswiri a zamaganizo ochokera ku Universities of Bath ndi York St John adatsatira ophunzira a yunivesite ya 40.000 ochokera ku US, Canada ndi UK kwa zaka pafupifupi makumi atatu. Ofufuzawa anapeza kuti mu 1989, 9 peresenti yokha ya ophunzira ananena kuti akukakamizidwa ndi anthu kuti akhale angwiro. Pofika 2017, chiwerengerochi chinali chitawirikiza kawiri mpaka 18%.
Izi zikutanthawuza kuti mlingo wa "khalidwe lodziwika bwino la anthu" likuwonjezeka kwambiri. Ngati izi zipitilizidwa, pofika chaka cha 2050 m'modzi mwa achinyamata atatu adzanena kuti ali ndi vuto lofuna kuchita zinthu mwangwiro. Njira imodzi yodzichotsera tokha ku chikoka chake ndikuthawa ulosiwu ndikumvetsetsa kusinthika kwa mbiri ya mawu akuti ungwiro.
Mawu akuti ungwiro amachokera ku Chilatini wangwiro, pamenepo wangwiro, kutanthauza kutsiriza, kukwaniritsa. Pamene mawu akuti "for" amawonjezera lingaliro la kutsiriza, verebu fectus, yomwe imachokera kupangakutanthauza kuchita chinachake.
Choncho, poyambirira mawu akuti changwiro amatanthauza chinthu chotsirizidwa, chimene chinafika pamapeto osasowa kalikonse. Choncho ankanena za ntchito imene inachitika yonse. M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, tanthauzo la mawu akuti ungwiro lasintha, makamaka chifukwa cha chisonkhezero cha chipembedzo cha Chiyuda ndi Chikristu.
Ndithudi, ungwiro wakhala nkhaŵa yosalekeza ya zaumulungu m’zaka mazana ambiri. Komabe, n’zochititsa chidwi kuti mawu ogwiritsidwa ntchito m’Baibulo onena za ungwiro anali tamim ( תָּמִים ), ngakhale kuti izi zimangotanthauza nyama zopanda zilema zomwe ziyenera kuperekedwa nsembe.
Pang'onopang'ono zomwe zinali lingaliro la konkire zidakhala zosamveka bwino, kotero kuti lingaliro la ungwiro lidasiya kungokhala pazomwe tidachita kuti zifikirenso kwa anthu, kufotokoza zamakhalidwe opanda chilema kapena cholakwika. Kusiyanaku kumawoneka kosaoneka bwino koma kwenikweni kuli kokulirapo popeza lingaliro la ungwiro lachoka kuchoka ku kugwiritsidwa ntchito ku ntchito yomalizidwa ndi kugwiritsiridwa ntchito kwa anthu, chotero kukhala chiweruzo pa mtengo wake.
Panthaŵi imodzimodziyo, ungwiro sungalekanitsidwe ku lingaliro la nsembe, chotero maulamuliro a amonke ambiri anayamba kuufunafuna mwa kukana dziko ndi kuloŵerera m’kusautsa, masomphenya amene anafalikira pang’onopang’ono m’chitaganya.
Chifukwa cha zimenezi, masiku ano timakhulupirira kuti ungwiro ndi wapamwamba kwambiri ndipo kuti munthu azichita zimenezi ayenera kudzimana. Ungwiro umasonyeza mkhalidwe wopanda chilema, wopanda zolakwa. Kukhala wangwiro kumatanthauza kufika pamlingo wopambana, ponse pakuchita bwino ndi khalidwe, zomwe sitingathe kuziposa. Komabe, monga Voltaire adanena “wangwiro ndi mdani wa chabwino”.
Kufunafuna ungwiro si khalidwe labwino, koma vuto
Chikhalidwe chathu chimatsindika mokokomeza pa kupambana ndi kukwaniritsa zolinga. Timafunsa ana athu giredi imene analandira osati zimene anaphunzira. Timafunsa munthu zimene amachita ndi zimene sachita ngati aikonda ntchito yake. Chifukwa cha zimenezi, timakonda kuyeza miyoyo yathu mogwirizana ndi zimene tachita bwino, n’kusiya kuona tanthauzo ndi chimwemwe.
Koma kodi mungayerekeze kuona utawaleza ndi kudandaula kuti limodzi la magulu ake n’lotalikirapo kuposa linalo kapena kunena kuti mtambo ndi waung’ono kwambiri? Chiweruzo chimenecho sichiri chopusa, komanso chimawononga kukongola kwa mphindi. Komabe, izi n’zimenenso timachita tikamadziweruza tokha kapena tikamayesa anthu ena poona kuti ndife opanda ungwiro. Timayiwala kuti, monga anthu, ifenso ndife mbali ya chilengedwe, choncho sitiyenera kufunafuna ungwiro chifukwa ndife angwiro kale.
Nthawi zambiri, a ungwiro ndi chigoba chobisa kusatetezeka. Kuyesera kuchita zinthu mwangwiro n’chimodzimodzi ndi kuvomereza kuti sitiri abwino monga mmene tilili. Zimenezi zikutanthauza kuti nthaŵi zambiri timayesetsa kukhala angwiro, kapena kuti kuchita chinthu changwiro, kuti tithe kudziona kuti ndife opanda pake.
Anthu amene amafuna kukhala angwiro amaonanso mopambanitsa zolakwa zawo. Nthawi zambiri, ndi anthu omwe adalandira mauthenga adakali aang'ono akuwauza kuti sali abwino, kapena adakakamizidwa kuti azichita bwino chifukwa pokhapokha atha kupeza chitsimikizo chomwe amafunikira.
Pamapeto pake, kubwezera kumeneku kumaphatikizapo kuganiza kuti ena ndi abwino kapena apamwamba, kotero kufunafuna ungwiro ndi njira imodzi yowaposa. Timadziweruza tokha mopanda chilungamo, ndipo kukangana kumeneku kumatha kukhala kowononga kwambiri pakapita nthawi.
M’malo mwake, tikanakhala osangalala kwambiri ndi omasuka kwambiri ngati titavomereza kuyenda kwachibadwa kwa moyo mwa kuleka kuyeza, kuyerekezera ndi kuweruza. Ngati tibwerera ku tanthauzo loyambirira la liwu loti ungwiro, tidzazindikira kuti si dziko lopanda chilema kapena losasunthika, koma ndi ntchito yomaliza yomwe ilibe kanthu.
Ungwiro wapamwamba kulibe, ndi nzeru. Zomwe zilipo ndi ungwiro wogwirizana ndi nkhaniyo. Izi zikutanthauza kuti ngati tachita zonse zomwe tingathe ndikuchita zonse zomwe tingathe kuti timalize ntchito, zikhala zokwanira. Chilichonse chikhoza kukonzedwa, palibe chomwe chili chabwino. Osati zomwe timachita kapena omwe tili.
Izi sizikutanthauza kusiya kukula, kusiya kudzikweza kapena kuyesa kukonza, koma ingosiyani kumvetsetsa ungwiro monga njira yabwino kuti muyambe kuwona ngati njira yomwe imatsogolera ku zotsatira zabwino zomwe nthawi zonse zidzadalira mphamvu zathu, chuma ndi mikhalidwe. Izi zidzatithandiza kuchotsa mikangano ndi kukhumudwa komwe kumabwera chifukwa chokhazikitsa miyezo yosatheka chifukwa cha lingaliro lake.
Kufunafuna ungwiro ndi cholinga chosatheka, chosatheka kulingaliridwa, ndiponso chosakhumbika. Lingaliro la zomwe zili zangwiro kapena zopanda ungwiro zimangokhala zomangika m'malingaliro zomwe zilibe maziko enieni kupatula zomwe zimaperekedwa ndi chikhalidwe. Chifukwa chake, monga tafotokozera lingaliro la ungwiro, titha kulipanga kuti tigwiritse ntchito mopindulitsa, m'malo molora kutichotsa.kulingalira bwino. Zimakhala zolimbikitsa kwambiri kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi ndi mphamvu zathu kuti tithane ndi vuto lodzikayikira lomwe lakulitsa chikhumbo cha kuchita zinthu mwangwiro ndiyeno n’kumaganizira kwambiri zimene zimatisangalatsadi. Ndiko kusintha kwa kawonedwe koyenera.
Malire:
Curran, T. & Hill, AP (2019) Perfectionism Ikuchulukirachulukira Pakapita Nthawi: Kusanthula kwa Meta kwa Birth Cohort Differences Kuyambira 1989 mpaka 2016. Psychological Bulletin; 145 (4): 410-429.
Devine, A. (1980) Ungwiro, Ungwiro. Mu: MB-Soft.
Pakhomo Mawu oti "wangwiro" samatanthauza zomwe mumauzidwa nthawi zonse - ndipo ndikofunikira kudziwa zimenezo idasindikizidwa koyamba mu Pakona ya Psychology.
