"Sizoipa choncho", "simuyenera kumva ngati izi" o "Yakwana nthawi yoti mutsegule tsamba". Awa ndi mawu omwe amafotokozedwera kuti athetsere mavuto koma akulephera. Pamene anthu ofunika kwa ife samatimvetsetsa, koma kunyalanyaza kapena kunyalanyaza momwe timamvera, sikuti timangolimbikitsidwa monga momwe timafunira, koma tikhozanso kudzimva kuti ndife osakwanira mwinanso kukayikira kufunika kwakumverera kwathu.
Kodi kusokonezeka kwamalingaliro ndikutani?
Kulephera pamtima ndiko kukana, kunyalanyaza, kapena kukana malingaliro, malingaliro, kapena machitidwe amunthu. Amapereka uthenga woti malingaliro anu alibe kanthu kapena siabwino.
Kulephera kwamaganizidwe kumatha kuwonekera m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Anthu ena amawagwiritsa ntchito mwadala kuti apusitse ena chifukwa amaika pansi chidwi chawo ndi chikondi chawo kwa wina. Ena amalowerera m'maganizo mwa ena osazindikira.
M'malo mwake, nthawi zambiri kusakhala ndi malingaliro kumachitika chifukwa chofuna kutilimbikitsa. Mawu ngati "Osadandaula", "yakwana nthawi yoti ndithetse", "zowona sizinali zoyipa chonchi", "mukukokomeza", "sindikuwona vuto lililonse" kapena "simuyenera kumva choncho " amakhala ndi zolinga zabwino, koma pamapeto pake amalepheretsa malingaliro omwe winayo ali nawo.
Mwachidziwikire, iyi si njira yabwino yothetsera winayo. Zosiyana kwambiri ndi izi. Kafukufuku wopangidwa ku Harvard University adawonetsa kuti ophunzira opunduka atalankhula zakukhosi kwawo pamavuto adamva kuwawa ndipo adawonetsa chidwi chokhudzana ndi thupi.
Palinso amene amadzudzulana chifukwa chakumverera kwina. Mawu ngati "Ndinu omvera kwambiri", "mumatenga chilichonse kukhala chanu" kapena "mumachipatsa ulemu" ndi zitsanzo zosasangalatsa m'maganizo momwe munthu amene akufuna kumvetsetsa ndikuthandizidwa amatsutsidwa ndikakanidwa.
Zowonadi, kusadzidalira kwamalingaliro sikungokhala pakamwa chabe. Kunyalanyaza zowawa kapena nkhawa za winanso ndi njira yothetsera malingaliro ake. Kusatchera khutu pamene munthu akunena za mutu wofunikira kapena kuwunyoza ndi manja kapena malingaliro ndi njira ina yolepheretsa.
Kodi nchifukwa ninji anthu amanyalanyaza malingaliro?
Kukhazikika pamaganizidwe nthawi zambiri kumachitika tikamafotokoza momwe timamvera kapena tikamalankhula. Chowonadi ndichakuti anthu ambiri amakhala osagwira ntchito chifukwa amalephera kuthana ndi zomwe winayo akuwapatsa.
Kutsimikizika kwamaganizidwe kumakhudzanso kumvera ena chisoni kapena kumveketsa bwino. Izi zikutanthawuza kudziwa momwe mungadziyesere nokha, mumvetsetse ndikukhala momwe akumvera. Nthawi zambiri, izi zimatha kukhala zazikulu kwambiri kwa munthuyo kapena zimangokhala zosasangalatsa, m'njira yomwe imazikana ndipo, nazo, zimapangitsa munthu amene akumva kuwawa.
M'malo mwake, sizinganyalanyazidwe kuti tikukhala pagulu loipa kwambiri kuchokera kumalingaliro momwe mayiko okhudzidwa amawonedwa ngati "cholepheretsa" pomwe kulambira kumalambira. M'dera lomwe limalimbikitsa kupita patsogolo mwachangu, pomwe kukondetsa hedonism ndikufunafuna kuvutika kubisala chifukwa kumabweretsa zowawa zambiri, sizosadabwitsa kuti anthu ambiri amalephera kuthana ndi kukhumudwa kwawo ndipo sangathe kupirira.
Nthawi zina, kusakhazikika kumachokera chifukwa cha munthu wotanganidwa kwambiri ndi mavuto ake kuti atuluke m'malingaliro mwake ndikudziyika munzake. Zitha kukhala kuti munthuyu akuvutika kwambiri ndipo watopa kwambiri kotero kuti sangakwanitse kutsimikizira. Kapenanso iwo amangokhala anthu odzikonda kwambiri kuti azingoyang'ana zomwe wina akuchita.
Zotsatira zakusokonekera kwamalingaliro
• Mavuto pakuthana ndi malingaliro
Kukhazikika pamaganizidwe nthawi zambiri kumabweretsa chisokonezo, kukayikira komanso kusakhulupirira malingaliro athu. Ngati tikalankhula zomwe timamva, munthu wapamtima komanso watanthauzo akutiuza kuti sitiyenera kuzimva, titha kuyamba kukayikira zenizeni zomwe takumana nazo. Komabe, kufunsa momwe tikumvera sikungapangitse kuti iwonongeke, kungotipangitsa kukhala kovuta kuti tiwathetse mwamphamvu.
Zowonadi, zapezeka kuti pamene kusakhazikika kumalepheretsa kufotokozera zakukhosi, monga kukhumudwa, nthawi zambiri kumabweretsa kuwonjezeka kwamalingaliro ena achiwiri monga mkwiyo ndi manyazi. Kafukufuku yemwe adachitika ku University of Washington adawonetsa kuti anthu omwe ali ndi vuto kuwongolera momwe amamvera mumtima amakwiya kwambiri akapanda kukhumudwa.
• Kutuluka kwamatenda amisala
Kuwonongeka m'maganizo kumatha kuchititsa munthu amene akukonzekera kukhala ndi mavuto azaumoyo monga kukhumudwa kapena kukulitsa zizindikilo. Vutoli litabwera kuchokera pagulu loyandikira kwambiri ndipo ndi dongosolo lomwe limadzibwereza pakapita nthawi, munthuyo amaphunzira kupondereza malingaliro awo, omwe pamapeto pake adzawakhudza. Mwinanso mumadzimva kuti muli nokha komanso osamvetsedwa. M'malo mwake, kafukufuku yemwe adachitika ku Wayne State University zaulula kuti kusazindikira kwamnzanu mwadongosolo kumatha kuneneratu za chithunzi chokhumudwitsa.
Katswiri wa zamaganizidwe a Marsha M. Linehan amakhulupirira kuti kufooka kwamaganizidwe kumatha kukhala kovulaza makamaka kwa omwe ali pachiwopsezo cha malingaliro; ndiye kuti, omwe ali tcheru kwambiri amachitapo kanthu mwamphamvu ndipo zimawavuta kupeza zachilendo. Pakadali pano, kuuzidwa kuti mayankho awo sikolondola komanso osayenera kumatha kuyambitsa vuto lakumverera.
M'malo mwake, zidapezekanso kuti anthu omwe adakumana ndi vuto laubwana ali pachiwopsezo chotere amakhala ndi vuto la m'malire, lomwe limadziwika ndi kusakhazikika, kusakhazikika m'maganizo, kudzimva kukhala opanda ntchito, komanso mavuto amisala. Kwa achinyamata, kusokonezeka kwamaganizidwe kumalumikizidwa ndi chiopsezo chowonjezeka chodzivulaza.
Momwe mungatsimikizire kutengeka?
Tiyenera kukumbukira kuti momwe zimachitikira m'malingaliro sizolondola kapena zolakwika. Chomwe chingakhale chosayenera ndikulankhula kwawo, koma osati mawonekedwe awo. Chifukwa chake, palibe chifukwa chodzudzulira, kunyalanyaza kapena kukana malingaliro, ngakhale atakhala ofunika motani.
Kuti titsimikizire momwe wina akumvera, tiyenera kudzitsegula tokha pazochitika zawo. Izi zikutanthauza kukhala ofunitsitsa kumvetsera mwatcheru ndikukhalapo kwathunthu. Tiyenera kusiya zosokoneza zonse ndikuyesera kulumikizana ndi malingaliro.
Kumatanthauzanso kukhala okonzeka kusiya mavuto athu munthawiyo kuti tithe kuyesa kumvera ena chisoni kwa munthu yemwe ali patsogolo pathu.
Pomaliza, zimaphatikizapo kugwiritsa ntchito chilankhulo chovomerezeka komanso chomvetsetsa momwe ziganizo zimakhalira "Zikadakhala zoyipa kwambiri" kusowa kuti apange njira ya "Pepani pazomwe zidakuchitikirani", zovuta "Zikuwoneka zokhumudwitsa" m'malo mwa "Mukukokomeza" o "Ndingatani kuti ndikuthandizeni?" m'malo mwa "uyenera kuthana nazo ”.
Kutsimikizika kwamaganizidwe ndi luso lophunziridwa. Tiyenera kukhala oleza mtima komanso omvetsetsa.
Malire:
Adrian, M. et. Al. (2019) Kutsimikizika kwa Makolo ndi Kusazindikira Kuneneratu Achinyamata Kudzivulaza. Pulofesa Psychol Res Pr; 49 (4): 274-281.
Keng, S. & Sho, C. (2018) Mgwirizano wapakati pazosavomerezeka paubwana ndi zizindikiritso zamalire: kudzipangira nokha ndikugwirizana monga zinthu zowongolera. Kusokonezeka Kwa Umalire Wam'malire ndi Kusokonezeka Maganizo; 5: 19.
Leong, LEM, Cano, A. & Johansen, AB (2011) Kuwunika koyenera komanso koyambira kwa kutsimikizika kwamaganizidwe ndi kusavomerezeka kwamaanja opweteka kwambiri: Nkhani zodwala amuna ndi akazi. The Journal of Pain; 12: 1140 -1148 .
Fruzzetti, AE & Shenk, C. (2008) Kulimbikitsa kutsimikizira mayankho m'mabanja. Ntchito Yachitukuko muumoyo wamaganizidwe; 6: 215-227.
Fruzzetti, AE, Shenk, C. & Hoffman, PD (2005) Kuyanjana kwamabanja ndikukula kwa vuto lamalire amalire: Mtundu wogulitsa. Development ndi Psychopathology; 17: 1007-1030.
Linehan, MM (1993) Chithandizo chazindikiritso pamachitidwe am'malire. New York: Atolankhani a Guilford.
Pakhomo Kulephera pamtima, pomwe ena amatichepetsera kapena kunyalanyaza malingaliro athu idasindikizidwa koyamba mu Pakona ya Psychology.
