Kuperewera kwachifundo sikuwoneka, koma kumamveka. Ndipo zotsatira zake nthawi zambiri zimakhala zowononga, makamaka pa pulaneti yolumikizana kwambiri komanso yodalirana pomwe zosankha zathu ndi zochita zathu zimatha kukhala ndi zotsatira zosaganizirika mbali ina ya dziko lapansi.
Thekumvera ena chisoni ndi mtundu wa guluu wolumikizana womwe umatigwirizanitsa. Ndi mlatho womvetsetsa womwe umatilola kuti tizidziyesa tokha. Komabe, katswiri wama psychology a Douglas LaBier ali otsimikiza kuti gulu lathu likukumana ndi vuto lomwe likuchulukirachulukira lomwe tikulinyalanyaza: kuchepa kwakukulu kwachisoni. Ndipo zomwe zimakhudza thanzi lathu lam'mutu, komanso momwe zimakhudzira anthu ena, ndizowononga.
Kodi vuto lakusowa chifundo ndi chiyani?
Yemwe ali ndi vuto lakumvera chisoni samatha kudzichotsa mwa iwo ndikulowa m'malingaliro ndi zokumana nazo za ena, makamaka iwo omwe amaganiza mosiyana kapena sagawana nawo phindu lawo. Ndi munthu yemwe wagwidwa m'ndende yamalingaliro ake, woperewera ndi zovuta zake zamaganizidwe, zomwe zimamulepheretsa kulumikizana ndi zenizeni zosiyanasiyana, zomwe nthawi zambiri amazinyalanyaza kapena kuzinyalanyaza.
Inde, aliyense akhoza kuyamba kusowa chifundo. Atha kukhala munthu amene sangadziike m'mavuto a mnzake yemwe nthawi zonse amaika zosowa zake patsogolo. Komanso atha kukhala mnzake kapena mnzake yemwe amakwiya tikapanda kutero. Kapena makolo okonda zachiwerewere omwe nthawi zambiri amanyoza mavuto a ana awo.
Chisokonezo cha Chisoni chimapezeka palimodzi pakati pa anthu, pakati pa abale, abwenzi ndi anzawo, komanso pagulu, zikafika podzikonda. Pazochitika zonsezi, anthu amakhala otsekedwa m'chilengedwe chomwe chimawasiyanitsa ndi ena, kuwapangitsa kukhala osakhudzidwa ndi zowawa, zowawa ndi zowawa za ena.
Chisoni sichiloledwa m'dera lachisoni
Tikukhala m'dziko lomwe limamvera chisoni koma silimvera chisoni. Gulu lokhala ndichangu komanso kukumbukira kwakanthawi. Zithunzi zakumva kuwawa kwa ena zimatisuntha, koma zofunikira zokha komanso kwakanthawi kochepa, zofunikira zochepa kuti mukhale mwamtendere ndi chikumbumtima ndikupita kuzinthu zosangalatsa.
Anthu amtunduwu amakonda kumva chisoni kuposa kumvera ena chisoni. Chifundo chimangochitika mwadzidzidzi. Zowawa ndi zowawa za ena zimatipweteka. Tikuwona kuti wina akukumana ndi nthawi yovuta ndipo timakhala osasangalala kapena opsinjika.
Koma chisoni ndikumangokhala, nthawi zambiri modzichepetsa. Chisoni chimatanthauza kuganiza kuti munthu amene ali m'mavuto "sayenera" zomwe zamuchitikira, koma zimatanthauzanso kukhulupirira kuti alibe luso lochita zomwe zimamupangitsa kuti atuluke.
Kuphatikiza apo, kumva chisoni sikutanthauza kuti muzidziyikira nokha m'mavuto a munthu amene akuvutikayo. Ndi njira yosavuta yachisoni pamavuto ena. Nthawi zambiri kumakhala kotsika kwambiri pakumvetsetsa ndikudzipereka pachisoni.
Chisoni, kumbali inayo, ndi kulumikizana kwakuya komwe timakumana nako tikatha kusiya malingaliro athu ndikulowa mdziko la linzake. Tikakhala komweko, timatha kumva momwe akumvera, mikangano kapena zofuna zake momwe amaonera.
Zimaphatikizira kuwona kupweteka kudzera m'maso mwake, osakhazikitsa zopinga zomwe zimatipangitsa kukhala pambali podzikweza. Ichi ndichifukwa chake kumvera ena chisoni kumatilimbikitsa kuti tizipereka thandizo. Kulumikizana kotereku kumamanga ubale wathanzi, wogwirizana potengera chidwi chenicheni, osati kungomvera chisoni. Kutha kulumikizana kwamtunduwu ndizomwe anthu omwe ali ndi vuto lakumvera chisoni ataya.
Kodi vuto lakumvera chisoni limakula bwanji?
LaBier amakhulupirira kuti vuto lakuchepa kwachisoni limayamba "Anthu akamayang'ana kwambiri pakupeza mphamvu, udindo komanso ndalama zawo." Malinga ndi katswiri wama psychology, awa ndi anthu omwe amayerekezera kukula kwa munthu ndi kupeza zinthu zakuthupi komanso ubale wapakati pawo.
Zotsatira zake, amadzipatula kumalingaliro awo ndikuzindikira zomwe ali nazo. Amakhala ndi zomwe zitha kutchedwa "malingaliro ogwirira ntchito", chifukwa amadziyesera chilichonse potengera phindu lomwe ali nalo, osayima kaye kuti aganizire momwe izi zingakhudzire ena. Pochita izi, ali ndi malingaliro odzikonda.
Kudziyang'ana kwambiri pa umwini kumadzipangitsa kukhala opanda pake komanso kudzitama. "Anthu awa amakhala ndi chinyengo chokhala odziyimira pawokha komanso kudzidalira. Amasiya kulumikizana ndi zenizeni ndikuyiwala kuti anthu onse amalumikizana komanso amadalirana ”.
Mwachizoloŵezi, sakudziwa kuti ali m'gulu lalikulu. Sadziwa kuti, mdziko lino lapansi, timamira padera kapena timadzipulumutsa tokha, monga Juan Rulfo ananenera. Chifukwa chodzipangira ntchito zawo zokha, samatha kulumikizana kwambiri ndi ena ndipo samva chisoni.
Zachidziwikire, kuchepa kwachisoni kumatha kukhala gwero la mikangano pakati pa anthu. Sikuti zimangolepheretsa kukhazikitsidwa kwa maubale, komanso pamtundu wa anthu zimakhala nthaka yachonde kuti mbewu za chidani ndi kugawanika kumere chifukwa ndizosatheka kuti anthuwa amvere chisoni omwe ali ndi zikhulupiriro, miyambo kapena njira zawo. za kuwona moyo mosiyana.
Makiyi a 2 kuti athane ndi vuto lakumvera chisoni
1. Dziwani kudalirana
Ngakhale nthawi zina titha kukhala odziyimira pawokha komanso odziyimira pawokha, tonse ndife olumikizidwa mwanjira ina. Mliri wapano, mwachitsanzo, watiwonetsa kuti tonse tili pafupi kuposa momwe timaganizira komanso kuti mayiko olemera sangadzipulumutse okha pozunza osauka, ngakhale atayesetsa motani. Zosankha zathu ndi zochita zathu zimakhudza kwambiri.
Zinatiwonetsanso kuti zosankha zathu zazing'ono zimatha kukhudza kwambiri anthu omwe tili nawo pafupi, kuyambira banja lathu mpaka alendo omwe timakumana nawo. Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi pang'ono kutithandizira kuthana ndi vuto lakumvera chisoni. Kuchita mosasamala kapena kudzikonda kungawononge moyo wa wina.
2. Dziyeseni nokha kuti muzidziwana ndi anthu ena
LaBier imapereka machitidwe osavuta kuti apange chisoni. Titha kuyamba kupenda machitidwe athu omwe amakhumudwitsa wokondedwa wathu. Ndizachidziwikire kuti si vuto kwa ife, koma ndi la mnzathu. Chifukwa chake, titha kudziyika tokha m'mbali mwawo kuyesa kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake akuwasokoneza. Chinsinsi sichiyenera kuweruza, koma kuyang'ana pazomwe takhudzidwa ndimomwe timakhalira ndi ena kuti timizike m'malingaliro mwake.
Zochita zina ndikudzutsa chisoni kwa munthu amene sitimukonda kapena amene ali ndi malingaliro osiyana kwambiri ndi athu. Titha kuyamba poyesa kumvetsetsa momwe munthuyo adakhalira omwe tikuganiza kuti ali. Kuti tichite izi, tiyenera kudziyika tokha, kuganiza ndi kumva ngati munthu ameneyo. Apanso, chinsinsi sichiyenera kuweruza, tikungoyang'ana pa mfundo zomwe tili nazo poyesera kuti tiwone momwe zinthu zilili ndi mnzake.
Kukulitsa kumvera ena chisoni kumatipatsa mwayi wotsimikiza mtima kuthetsa mikangano, kuthana ndi kusiyana ndikusiya kuwononga. Zimatipangitsa kuzindikira za kusatetezeka kwathu monga anthu ndipo zimatilola kuti tidziwululire zomwe ena akumana nazo kuti tidzipindulitse kudzera mwa iwo. Iyi ndiye njira yopita ku moyo wathanzi komanso dziko lolekerera, monga a LaBier anenera.
Malire:
LaBier, D. (2010) Kodi Mukuvutika Ndi Kusowa Kwa Chisoni? Mu: Psychology Lero.
Jones, A. et. Al. (2010) Kumverera, kusamala, kudziwa: mitundu yosiyanasiyana yachisoni mwa anyamata omwe ali ndi zizolowezi za psychopathic ndi autism spectrum disorder. J Child Psychol Psychiatry; 51 (11): 1188-1197.
Pakhomo Kuchepa Kwachisoni: Anthu sangathe kudziyika mokha mwa ena idasindikizidwa koyamba mu Pakona ya Psychology.
